No longer 'allowed' to go

[jfaragher]

11 hours ago, gherkin8r said:

The general response was borderline offensive I though. Not to me obviously but to the OP. People suggesting his marriage was dysfunctional and queueing up to extol the virtues of their own relationship over his. 

This is a good point, and rightly makes me look an asshole for the comment I made. Good reminder to think a little bit, and engage empathy before posting.  

Note - not going to delete my previous post, as I believe in owning My mistakes...

[gigpusher]

16 hours ago, amfy said:

My OH reached the stage where he still wanted to go to Glastonbury but no longer wanted to go every year. He said it would be better if we mixed it up with other things.

I wasn’t sad but could see his point. If I was totally honest with myself it had become a bit too much of a routine that we did Glastonbury every year.

After 2013, we missed 2014 & then went in 2015. We missed 2016, but when he also wanted to miss 2017, I looked into volunteering. There wasn’t the money for me to go to Glastonbury and us have a holiday together elsewhere, but volunteering gave me the best of both worlds. Now - we volunteer together. It saves the ticket stress and means we can use our holiday money for something different - which has mainly been festivals abroad.

Yes in relationships compromises are needed and if we can't work through them then we split up. It's how it works. I remember shortly after we left uni my OH and I were so broke that effectively our only social life was going to the cinema at a weekend before Midday because a local cinema sold tickets for £1. Was that the thing both of us most wanted to do, probably not but it was the best thing that we both had some interest in that we could do to give us some kind of escape from the 4 walls of a dingy flat. If at the time one of us had come on a forum complaining that we weren't allowed to do a weekend away it might have seemed very controlling and no doubt the suggestions that the other one could do a spa weekend would be well intentioned but in reality utterly unachieveable because we could barely live. 

I'm not saying that is the case here but I have had friends complain about not been able to buy something and even though they are my friends I've thought their partner had a point because they clearly did have bigger priorities. I was over 30 before I went to Glastonbury because we couldn't have afforded it when we were younger. 

[Chrisp1986]

At least she is happy now.

[clarkete]

57 minutes ago, Chrisp1986 said:

At least she is happy now.

Every cloud eh  

[Funkyfairy!]

1 hour ago, Chrisp1986 said:

At least she is happy now.

Did you try for a ticket ?  Try not to be resentful, or you need to have a good chat else it’s going to eat away at you from the sounds of it ... x

[Chrisp1986]

yep, entered details and got the all allocated message.

[Jarr]

On 4/26/2019 at 6:02 PM, Penrhos said:

Our second grandchild is due on the 18th June (Our first was born on the 21st June 2016). We got tickets in October which was before we were told she was pregnant and the due-date. Wife said "We're not missing the birth" and I pointed out we didn't miss out on anything last time and we should go anyway. There was much agonizing over going/not-going come balance payment window time.

In the end I paid for my ticket on the Friday night and said if she wanted to go she had until Sunday night to make up her mind "But I was going regardless!".

In 2017 I got a coach-ticket in resale and she won't camp so that was always going to be solo unless she lucked out on Sunday main-resale - but I wasn't "allowed to go until after the birthday party on Wednesday" so I had to choose a Thursday coach ticket and on the Sunday we didn't get off the holding page so that was that....

So this year not only could I miss my first grand-child's 3rd birthday party, but I could also miss the birth of my second one - my "there's no problem when it's a fallow year" comment didn't go down too well.

Shit happens - Grand-kids are 365 days a year, Glasto is only a 5 - that leaves 360 days for family stuff and I won't be quite so grumpy.

And Glastonbury is there other years too. Missing the birth. Sheesh. 

[stuartbert two hats]

1 hour ago, Jarr said:

And Glastonbury is there other years too. Missing the birth. Sheesh. 

What was it like the first time you had a grandchild? Did it make a big difference to you that you weren't at a festival?

[Beerqueen]

Missing birth of a child for Glastonbury?  Probably not on.  But a grandchild? Yeah, definitely.     In fact I don't think my parents saw my kids in the first few weeks after they were born. because we lived a hundred miles or so apart.

[Homer]

10 hours ago, Jarr said:

And Glastonbury is there other years too. Missing the birth. Sheesh. 

I hadn't realised grandparents being at the birth was such a big thing!

[karlpowell]

Just go ,don't tell her , then when you get back tell her you was snatched by aliens taken up to their ship and they used probes on you and stuff.

[Homer]

Not a single one of my grandparents was present when I was born. To be honest, I don't think I ever really forgave them for it...

[Zoo Music Girl]

I haven't had a baby but if I did I don't think I'd want any set of grandparents anyway near the hospital on the day. Is that what people mean by being present at the birth?

[tumbles]

3 minutes ago, Zoo Music Girl said:

I haven't had a baby but if I did I don't think I'd want any set of grandparents anyway near the hospital on the day. Is that what people mean by being present at the birth?

I don't think we told either of ours that we were at the hospital - just when she was born. Second time around bit different as one grandparent looked after first child.  Anywhere near the hospital, nope, nada, no. 

[Woffy]

Fuck it. I'm going to invite both sets of my future son's grandparents in to watch the entirety of the labour / birth.

I'm sure my wife will be utterly delighted.

[tumbles]

10 hours ago, Beerqueen said:

Missing birth of a child for Glastonbury?  Probably not on.  But a grandchild? Yeah, definitely.     In fact I don't think my parents saw my kids in the first few weeks after they were born. because we lived a hundred miles or so apart.

I think most of us would be divorced/separated if that were case.  I went in 2014 when the wife was 7 months pregnant but I'm only an hours drive away. I don't think any closer that I'd have got away with going! 

[Woffy]

9 minutes ago, tumbles said:

I think most of us would be divorced/separated if that were case.  I went in 2014 when the wife was 7 months pregnant but I'm only an hours drive away. I don't think any closer that I'd have got away with going! 

Pretty much the same situation i'm in this year (inc. being an hour away). And i will definitely be on standby and not spangled.

It's worth noting that it was a very difficult decision to come to when my wife decided not to pay her balance.

We'd been over and over and over every possible permutation for her to be able to attend - and obviously / ultimately it was her decision - but there were too many variables / uncertainties for her; weather, sleeping comfortably and slipping / falling / getting bumped into being just three. But still a really difficult decision for her.

But she was definitely keen for me to go and i'm still meeting her on Sunday to collect mini-Woffy (3) for the day, spending most of it in Kidz Field and leaving after Janelle Monae.

My wife is still going to use the days off she's booked to chill out at home.

 

Edited April 29, 2019 by Woffy

[fred quimby]

20 minutes ago, Woffy said:

Fuck it. I'm going to invite both sets of my future son's grandparents in to watch the entirety of the labour / birth.

I'm sure my wife will be utterly delighted.

Why stop there. Get every member of the family in. Put on a buffet or something.

[gigpusher]

53 minutes ago, fred quimby said:

Why stop there. Get every member of the family in. Put on a buffet or something.

Live stream it for E Festivals as well. Why should we miss out? We all feel like family ?

[Mr.Tease]

55 minutes ago, fred quimby said:

Why stop there. Get every member of the family in. Put on a buffet or something.

Exactly, If I were a woman giving birth, red faced, in agony, pooing myself and exhausted , I would LOVE the whole family round watching me, holding hands and fussing- the poster who is refusing to go is an ANIMAL!!!!!!!

Honestly, I don't understand how women can give birth then just carry on with their life as normal- I would be traumatised for life! At the very least it would be a case of "do not even speak to me for at least a week"- I would not be taking visitors.

Edited April 29, 2019 by Mr.Tease

[Homer]

1 hour ago, Woffy said:

Fuck it. I'm going to invite both sets of my future son's grandparents in to watch the entirety of the labour / birth.

I'm sure my wife will be utterly delighted.

Are you Mormon by any chance?! They like to get all the other wives to come and watch. The woman isn;t allowed any drugs and if she makes any noise about being in pain is reprimanded by the husband. (I just read two books about Mormonism back to back.)

[Homer]

1 hour ago, Woffy said:

Fuck it. I'm going to invite both sets of my future son's grandparents in to watch the entirety of the labour / birth.

I'm sure my wife will be utterly delighted.

I was just about to invite all my grandparents to come and see The Chemical Brothers. But then I realised that none of them have Glastonbury tickets. (Plus sadly none of them are alive any more.)

[Mr.Tease]

3 minutes ago, Homer said:

Are you Mormon by any chance?! They like to get all the other wives to come and watch. The woman isn;t allowed any drugs and if she makes any noise about being in pain is reprimanded by the husband. (I just read two books about Mormonism back to back.)

Has any mormon husband ever been murdered during this birthing process?

[Tranquility of Solitude]

Daughter was born on 11th November at 11am. Can't repeat the response I received from Mrs ToS when I requested she respect the 2 minutes silence.

[Homer]

5 minutes ago, Tranquility of Solitude said:

Daughter was born on 11th November at 11am. Can't repeat the response I received from Mrs ToS when I requested she respect the 2 minutes silence.

Like! (am out of upvotes.)