No longer 'allowed' to go

[Chrisp1986]

Looked at NE coaches and they look to take forever to get there? Much longer than when I have used See previously? 

[gherkin8r]

Mad how people are so quick to diagnose a controlling relationship here based on very little evidence or even context. 

[Quark]

27 minutes ago, gherkin8r said:

Mad how people are so quick to diagnose a controlling relationship here based on very little evidence or even context. 

Yeah, thought it was just me wondering that!

[c8lin]

34 minutes ago, gherkin8r said:

Mad how people are so quick to diagnose a controlling relationship here based on very little evidence or even context. 

100% this

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

1 hour ago, gherkin8r said:

Mad how people are so quick to diagnose a controlling relationship here based on very little evidence or even context. 

I fully understand what you are saying. I guess people have shot from the hip, using the information that the OP posted in their initial post. To be fair, it can easily be viewed as one way traffic.

The Op's partner said he could go, but has changed her mind.

The OP's partner says that she doesn't want to go to Glastonbury, and leave their child behind.

 

 

[gherkin8r]

The general response was borderline offensive I though. Not to me obviously but to the OP. People suggesting his marriage was dysfunctional and queueing up to extol the virtues of their own relationship over his. 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

23 minutes ago, gherkin8r said:

 People suggesting his marriage was dysfunctional and queueing up to extol the virtues of their own relationship over his. 

True.

[Mr.Tease]

20 minutes ago, gherkin8r said:

The general response was borderline offensive I though. Not to me obviously but to the OP. People suggesting his marriage was dysfunctional and queueing up to extol the virtues of their own relationship over his. 

I think the way the OP framed it, he was just looking to vent at what he felt was unfair and people just responded to it the way he framed it- I don't think anyone's really particularly bothered what the truth of the situation is and his relationship is his and his partners business, not ours. Some people when they start threads are just trying to solicit a certain response, which is fair enough. Sometimes people just want a bit of empathy rather than object truth. 

[gigpusher]

3 hours ago, gherkin8r said:

Mad how people are so quick to diagnose a controlling relationship here based on very little evidence or even context. 

This. We must remember that Glastonbury is a dear do. My OH and I go each year and we treat it as a holiday. If only one of us wanted to go the cost of it would impact our ability to do another holiday and it is equally harsh if you are in a relationship where one person is free to indulge in their hobbies etc at the expense of the other person. We do only have so much free time and so much free money and in a relationship you do need to balance these things. 

I probably love and obsess about Glastonbury more than my other half but don't think he'd ever deny me the chance to go because over a year he goes to a lot more football, cricket, NFL and beer things. 

[CajunMoon]

3 hours ago, gherkin8r said:

The general response was borderline offensive I though. Not to me obviously but to the OP. People suggesting his marriage was dysfunctional and queueing up to extol the virtues of their own relationship over his. 

If mine is one of the responses you're referring to I can only apologise – it wasn't mean't to be judgemental in the slightest but it did appear (to me) to be a cry for help from the OP to which I thought I'd embrace the nature of these boards by rallying around and offering a few words. It took me a while to pluck up the courage to write it at all as I'm not a regular poster for the very fear of what may have happened here – unknowingly offending or having my words taken out of context.

[Frankly Mr Shankly]

23 minutes ago, CajunMoon said:

If mine is one of the responses you're referring to I can only apologise – it wasn't mean't to be judgemental in the slightest but it did appear (to me) to be a cry for help from the OP to which I thought I'd embrace the nature of these boards by rallying around and offering a few words. It took me a while to pluck up the courage to write it at all as I'm not a regular poster for the very fear of what may have happened here – unknowingly offending or having my words taken out of context.

There was nothing wrong with your response at all. I thought it was a very genuine & empathetic post. 

[Jarr]

Putting a festival before family. ??‍♂️

[stuartbert two hats]

10 minutes ago, Jarr said:

Putting a festival before family. ??‍♂️

I choose to think of it as putting my long term mental health above family on the short term. Sometimes you have to put yourself first to put family first.

That's my story that I'm telling myself and I'm sticking to it.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

14 minutes ago, Jarr said:

Putting a festival before family. ??‍♂️

Now I'd say that is definitely a distorted conclusion, given the known facts.

[Penrhos]

Our second grandchild is due on the 18th June (Our first was born on the 21st June 2016). We got tickets in October which was before we were told she was pregnant and the due-date. Wife said "We're not missing the birth" and I pointed out we didn't miss out on anything last time and we should go anyway. There was much agonizing over going/not-going come balance payment window time.

In the end I paid for my ticket on the Friday night and said if she wanted to go she had until Sunday night to make up her mind "But I was going regardless!".

In 2017 I got a coach-ticket in resale and she won't camp so that was always going to be solo unless she lucked out on Sunday main-resale - but I wasn't "allowed to go until after the birthday party on Wednesday" so I had to choose a Thursday coach ticket and on the Sunday we didn't get off the holding page so that was that....

So this year not only could I miss my first grand-child's 3rd birthday party, but I could also miss the birth of my second one - my "there's no problem when it's a fallow year" comment didn't go down too well.

Shit happens - Grand-kids are 365 days a year, Glasto is only a 5 - that leaves 360 days for family stuff and I won't be quite so grumpy.

[Quark]

1 hour ago, CajunMoon said:

It took me a while to pluck up the courage to write it at all as I'm not a regular poster for the very fear of what may have happened here – unknowingly offending or having my words taken out of context.

You're fine pal.  99% of stuff is taken the right way, and if it isn't then a quick set the record straight jobbie like you've done here clear sit up.

If people remain pissy after that, fuck 'em!

Don't be put off posting

Edited April 26, 2019 by Quark

[Rumblestripe]

There is nothing more important to me than my kids (they are all growed up now now I should say so no decision for me indeed my daughter will accompany me if the ticket gods smile upon us on Sunday) when you are working the long hours that seem to be expected these days you see little enough of your kids as it is.

Glasto is on the telly, your kid's birthday aint.

But that is just as judgemental as those extorting you to abandon family and head to Somerset.

Your life, your kids/wife... your call.

[Beerqueen]

11 minutes ago, Rumblestripe said:

There is nothing more important to me than my kids (they are all growed up now now I should say so no decision for me indeed my daughter will accompany me if the ticket gods smile upon us on Sunday) when you are working the long hours that seem to be expected these days you see little enough of your kids as it is.

Glasto is on the telly, your kid's birthday aint.

But that is just as judgemental as those extorting you to abandon family and head to Somerset.

Your life, your kids/wife... your call.

Almost certainly someone will be filming your kid's birthday so it can be on telly, and will be a truer reflection of it than the TV coverage of Glastonbury is!

[gherkin8r]

To be honest I'm not sure what the OP was hoping to achieve and his post framed things in an unhelpful way. Not even sure who wrote what and wasn't looking for any apologies, just think you're all a bunch of bellends. 

Safety ?

[Boris]

There's a bit too much sanctimonious guff going on here. This is a forum. If someone posts they need to be ready for a variety of points of view and sometimes people shooting from the hip or making unfair judgements based on little evidence. Why not mention your own situation as comparison? Doesn't mean you're an evil person if you point out that you are relatively lucky. 

[gherkin8r]

Auld Boris sounds like he's controlled in his relationship. 

My marriage is obviously much better than his. 

[Zoo Music Girl]

9 hours ago, Chrisp1986 said:

Looked at NE coaches and they look to take forever to get there? Much longer than when I have used See previously? 

Where are you going from? From London I'd say it's the opposite experience - National Express will be quicker as it's going from a more sensible location. But if you want to go does an hour or two on a coach matter that much?

[amfy]

On 4/26/2019 at 2:58 PM, gigpusher said:

This. We must remember that Glastonbury is a dear do. My OH and I go each year and we treat it as a holiday. If only one of us wanted to go the cost of it would impact our ability to do another holiday and it is equally harsh if you are in a relationship where one person is free to indulge in their hobbies etc at the expense of the other person. We do only have so much free time and so much free money and in a relationship you do need to balance these things. 

I probably love and obsess about Glastonbury more than my other half but don't think he'd ever deny me the chance to go because over a year he goes to a lot more football, cricket, NFL and beer things. 

My OH reached the stage where he still wanted to go to Glastonbury but no longer wanted to go every year. He said it would be better if we mixed it up with other things.

I was sad but could see his point. If I was totally honest with myself it had become a bit too much of a routine that we did Glastonbury every year.

After 2013, we missed 2014 & then went in 2015. We missed 2016, but when he also wanted to miss 2017, I looked into volunteering. There wasn’t the money for me to go to Glastonbury and us have a holiday together elsewhere, but volunteering gave me the best of both worlds. Now - we volunteer together. It saves the ticket stress and means we can use our holiday money for something different - which has mainly been festivals abroad.

Edited April 27, 2019 by amfy
Wasn’t to was!

[hfuhruhurr]

@gherkin8r laughed out loud at your forum name. Thanks for that. 

Lightens the mood

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

 

The food, or the building?