Sober times

[Meerkat]

This thread has been a really great and uplifting read.

I didn’t try for tickets for 2020 as I was having a bit of a battle with my mental health and wasn’t in a place to think about going, and didn’t manage to secure any in the resale. I’ve had to cut out drinking as I know i would often binge drink as a release from my problems and I’d have longer lasting effects than just a sore head in the morning!

However, I’m happy to say I’m in a much better place and will definitely be trying for tickets for 2023 which would be my first alcohol free Glasto. The biggest benefit will be not having to drag crates of beer through mud!

Thanks again for all the great posts!!

Edited April 24, 2022 by Meerkat

[kalifire]

For a long time, I've been guilty of associating having a good time with consuming alcohol, to the extent that if I'm enjoying myself, I tend to want to drink. I've personally found that being aware of this subconscious link is important, because everything else that's good about what I'm enjoying is still valid without alcohol, yet it's the drink I've tended to give greatest consideration.

I'm guilty of drinking more than I should on a daily basis for several years now. It was a significant factor in my relationship breaking down a couple of years ago, and has seen me gaining weight, haemorrhaging money, and generally feeling pretty lethargic. The list of cons are much longer than the pros, but the lure and the habit has a gravity to it. Escaping that orbit is a real challenge.

In 2019, at my fourth Glastonbury, it was too hot to drink during the day, and I didn't feel like drinking much at night, so although not totally sober by the end of the night, it was the first one I did with lots of water and not as much booze. Not coincidentally, it was also the one at which I felt most alive and like I was getting the most of out it, fully switched on and connected with what was happening.

Cut to present day, and tomorrow it'll be six weeks before I step on my flight to come back to the UK, and eight weeks until Glastonbury. I'm going to attempt a complete break for six weeks. I've read a couple of 'quit lit' books, have a new schedule in place to try and regulate sleep, fitness, and diet, and bags of determination. My aim isn't to be tee-total, but to develop a more mature relationship with alcohol, but in order to do that, my current attachment to it must end completely.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack this thread to go on about my own experience with alcohol. Just to say, the one festival I did without drinking loads was my best one, mainly because of that absence.

[gigpusher]

11 hours ago, jimmillen said:

To my eternal shame, in my 20s I was on at least a couple of occasions the one resenting & making nasty comments about people not drinking. 🤦‍♂️ It’s far from my proudest moment.

In my case at least a lot of it had to do with my own reasons for drinking, social anxiety and unhappiness. When somebody else is having a great time without the crutch of alcohol it really brings your own inadequacies into sharp relief.

All too often that turns into resentment against the perfectly innocent non-drinker… totally unhelpful but a very human way to react to uncomfortable feelings.

There’s also a sort of schoolboy sentiment “Wahey, all aboard the getting sh*tfaced bus!!” which makes it feel like you’re part of a group… and somebody choosing not to be in that group can seem almost offensive when you’re deep in the grip of such an immature attitude. 

Absolutely none of this justifies how I behaved of course, but wanted to share in the hope it helps understanding. 

Thankfully I grew up and took my mental health a bit more seriously. Once I started getting to grips with some of the underlying issues it really helped change my relationship with booze.

Still totally a work in progress and sometimes if I have a drink it’s not for the healthiest of reasons. But my days of being a dickhead to non-drinkers are long behind me, thank goodness. 

Yes I know anyone who talks like this must have their issues. It usually is problem drinkers who honestly would be better off not drinking who do make these comments. The trouble is it then creates anxieties in other people too so when I was on that team I stopped going to work nights out making excuses whenever any came up. The feeling that Glastonbury was all about drink and drugs is actually what put me off going there for so long. It took me a few years to pluck up the courage to go to an efestivals meet for the same reason. 

Even nowadays any work events that feel like drinking is the focus make me uncomfortable not because I have any issue with others drinking but because I know I can be made to feel like an oddity so those peoples comments made me a less confident person. 

[philipsteak]

Interesting, and frustrating, that people are still getting these sort of comments. I honestly can't remember the last time I got a comment like that. Very commonplace when I first stopped drinking but that was probably partly to do with where I was too. Queenstown in New Zealand so a big backpacker town, ski resort and just very much a party place. I assumed those sort of attitudes were dying out but clearly not.

I do tend t go out less where drinking is the focus, and if I am out I tend to go home earlier. Not because of any hassle or comments, just mainly because drunk people can be really annoying and boring. And there's only so much soda water I can drink!

[gigpusher]

7 minutes ago, philipsteak said:

Interesting, and frustrating, that people are still getting these sort of comments. I honestly can't remember the last time I got a comment like that. Very commonplace when I first stopped drinking but that was probably partly to do with where I was too. Queenstown in New Zealand so a big backpacker town, ski resort and just very much a party place. I assumed those sort of attitudes were dying out but clearly not.

I do tend t go out less where drinking is the focus, and if I am out I tend to go home earlier. Not because of any hassle or comments, just mainly because drunk people can be really annoying and boring. And there's only so much soda water I can drink!

Yes this is one of the things that I think often leads to the comments. People want to go on pub crawls and as a sober person I don't want to keep downing diet coke and moving on but feel bad being in a pub and not buying a drink. 

[Mamba]

This thread has certainly been interesting.

I am a drinker, but have cut down a lot in recent months - partly in an attempt to shift a couple of stone, and partly due to my wife's health meaning she has virtually stopped.

I had a boozy night out on Friday at a gig and the hangover just doesn't seem worth it any more. I'm going to Desertfest in Camden for a couple of days this weekend and I know that Saturday will be a struggle if I don't take it easy on Friday.

I'm certainly going to try and pace myself at Glasto this year, maybe not drinking in the daytime as much/at all, as I don't think I'll enjoy it otherwise.

I'm also looking forward to driving to 2000 Trees for a day in July with my daughter where I've already started planning what AF beers I'll be taking with me.  They've been something of a revolution for me, often enjoying them more than the boozy equivalent.  A good friend has stopped drinking since December, who came out on Friday whilst everyone else was drinking, and I quite enjoy sharing notes on the AF beers he's drinking.

Edited April 25, 2022 by Mamba

[balti-pie]

1 hour ago, gigpusher said:

Yes this is one of the things that I think often leads to the comments. People want to go on pub crawls and as a sober person I don't want to keep downing diet coke and moving on but feel bad being in a pub and not buying a drink. 

I know exactly what you mean! Its made me a bit more creative in finding alternative drinks - lemon, lime and bitters is really good, and is hugely recommended! Halves of coke everywhere gives me horrible hairy teeth.

Decent pubs and craft beer bars will often have a low or no alcohol alternative, Kernel table beers are genuinely amazing and at about 2% they're very good for my situation, but might not suit people going full no alcohol: i find the the no alcohol beers to be a bit hit and miss. I do like a good shandy if there's a nice pilsner on tap - i prefer a dry lager if its going to be half lemonade, the citrus really lifts it. Cobra shandy is delicious!

I find i get far more comments from mates etc when im drinking shandy than i do drinking soft drinks, but i'm quite happy to have that conversation for the millionth time: "look, i like spending time in pubs, and i enjoy a drink, but i dont want to be drunk - this is my decision, doesnt effect you at all, blah blah blah . . . ."

[gigpusher]

7 minutes ago, balti-pie said:

I know exactly what you mean! Its made me a bit more creative in finding alternative drinks - lemon, lime and bitters is really good, and is hugely recommended! Halves of coke everywhere gives me horrible hairy teeth.

Decent pubs and craft beer bars will often have a low or no alcohol alternative, Kernel table beers are genuinely amazing and at about 2% they're very good for my situation, but might not suit people going full no alcohol: i find the the no alcohol beers to be a bit hit and miss. I do like a good shandy if there's a nice pilsner on tap - i prefer a dry lager if its going to be half lemonade, the citrus really lifts it. Cobra shandy is delicious!

I find i get far more comments from mates etc when im drinking shandy than i do drinking soft drinks, but i'm quite happy to have that conversation for the millionth time: "look, i like spending time in pubs, and i enjoy a drink, but i dont want to be drunk - this is my decision, doesnt effect you at all, blah blah blah . . . ."

Trouble is part of the reason I don't drink is I hate the taste of alcohol so things that taste like them but without the alcohol I also hate as it's trying to replicate a taste I don't like. I've never drunk alcohol (other than the odd taste of something that people are convinced I will like) These days I do tend to just avoid nights out that involve pub crawls. Being in my mid 40's means that they are a rarer event anyway. 

[balti-pie]

21 minutes ago, gigpusher said:

Trouble is part of the reason I don't drink is I hate the taste of alcohol so things that taste like them but without the alcohol I also hate as it's trying to replicate a taste I don't like. I've never drunk alcohol (other than the odd taste of something that people are convinced I will like) These days I do tend to just avoid nights out that involve pub crawls. Being in my mid 40's means that they are a rarer event anyway. 

thats completely fair enough: i'm sure you're fed up of people going 'ooh, just try this one, i bet you'll love it!' what would you like to ideally see in pubs that you could try and drink over a long amount of time? i'd like tall cool glasses of coconut water and pineapple. Bloody love that stuff. Peach iced tea would be amazing too, and not too sweet. But lemon lime and bitters is my absolute ideal, its great stuff. It does confuse bar staff on occasion though. 

[gigpusher]

I suppose when you don't especially drink for pleasure you drink for thirst so if I am genuinely thirsty I'm happy with a diet coke, I don't mind some ginger nojito type things as they are flavours I like. I'm not much of a drinker of anything. Even around the house my husband drinks coffee and tea constantly and makes them for me and I am forever throwing away half cups because I just don't seem to need as much liquid as he does. 

[fred quimby]

I too am on the cutting down train. Health and weight loss. My issue is I like a 3 beer buzz, but keep going to keep topping that up, which doesn't really work of course. So rethinking how Glastonbury will look, not sure yet how that looks yet but will be working on a plan. The amount I normally take could stock an off licence, I can drive on site. 

[the_arsonist]

I absolutely love a drink and generally Glasto for me is a bit of a blur to be honest and probably about half the time I'm either hungover or filled with the anxiety/dread that proceeds it for me.

This year as we're bringing our little girl I'll certainly still have one or two but obviously can't go too wild most of the time and I'm looking forward to having a different perspective on the festival! Will be nice to explore more of the daytime areas and have a more wholesome day than the debauchery of the past!

[gigpusher]

1 minute ago, the_arsonist said:

I absolutely love a drink and generally Glasto for me is a bit of a blur to be honest and probably about half the time I'm either hungover or filled with the anxiety/dread that proceeds it for me.

This year as we're bringing our little girl I'll certainly still have one or two but obviously can't go too wild most of the time and I'm looking forward to having a different perspective on the festival! Will be nice to explore more of the daytime areas and have a more wholesome day than the debauchery of the past!

The good news is that Glastonbury is one of those wonderful places that is great for all. I'm sure you'll have a blast. One of my friends is bringing her daughter for the first time as well and she too is looking forward to a very different festival. 

[misc]

As someone who likes a drink, but more than that loves the pleasure of sitting in a pub and the routine/feel/taste of drinking a 'real' pint, I've been really enjoying the slow but noticeable spread of low/no alcohol beers on tap in pubs. If I spend a weekend evening with friends in a local, or exploring some interesting pubs, it's so easy to end up drinking way more than I intended to or needed to. Pints of Lucky Saint or whatever mean I can carry on enjoying the vibe without pointlessly adding to the hangover.

Pretty much all pubs have alcohol-free options in cans, but for whatever reason I just don't get the same enjoyment having a can or bottle as I do having a draught pint. I wonder if/when the bars at Glasto will start offering low/no alcohol beer on tap? I imagine the demand just isn't strong enough at the moment, but judging by their spread in London (in the pubs I've been going to anyway) it may just be a matter of time.

[1986]

Me and my partner definitely got into a regular habit in lockdown. I try and cut back but still have that hard day - reach for a beer impulse. 

Problem is I do like the taste, could easily sit with a beer, wine, gin, whisky just as something to have there. Which on one hand means drinking doesn't always equal smashed but it does also mean I pour something if I want liquid refreshment that isn't water or coffee.

[Little Andy]

5 hours ago, gigpusher said:

Trouble is part of the reason I don't drink is I hate the taste of alcohol so things that taste like them but without the alcohol I also hate as it's trying to replicate a taste I don't like. I've never drunk alcohol (other than the odd taste of something that people are convinced I will like) These days I do tend to just avoid nights out that involve pub crawls. Being in my mid 40's means that they are a rarer event anyway. 

Haha, the world consists of 2 types of people. Those who like the taste of alcohol, and those trapped for eternity convincing people they don't want a drink!

It's rarer nowadays, but the "Why aren't you drinking?" question plagued me a lot in the past. But the older I get, the luckier I feel to not desire alcohol. I think we've got things easier overall, despite seemingly being in the minority.

(p.s For the record, I'm not 100% teetotal, and I always have a little alcohol at Glastonbury, which normally goes straight to my head! I was dancing so much to Radiohead in 2017 that someone asked me what I was on! The answer was "2 beers")

 

[balti-pie]

Dinking in moderation saves an absolute bloody fortune. These days i dont drink to get drunk, but if i did, i'd be very merry indeed on three pints: that used to be my feeling after eight pints, so in terms of calories and money, its so much better! I dont know who it was that described drinking as 'borrowing happiness from tomorrow' but its so spot on: the depression, anxiety and miserable feeling from being hungover used to sit like a pall over at least one day of my weekend, and semi-regularly for a couple of days. You never forget your first two day hangover. 

Nowadays i feel absolutely fine the next morning, full of energy, and without having spent £90 on pints and whisky. I just wont ever go back to over-consumption. Its fine for people who do want to do that, but it wont be me. I can curate a nice little box of 6-8 particular beers to bring to glastonbury with me, have perhaps a couple of pints here and there if i fancy them, and wont ever have that 'wake up in a tent and feel like death' start to the day that used to plague me. 

[philipsteak]

1 hour ago, misc said:

As someone who likes a drink, but more than that loves the pleasure of sitting in a pub and the routine/feel/taste of drinking a 'real' pint, I've been really enjoying the slow but noticeable spread of low/no alcohol beers on tap in pubs. If I spend a weekend evening with friends in a local, or exploring some interesting pubs, it's so easy to end up drinking way more than I intended to or needed to. Pints of Lucky Saint or whatever mean I can carry on enjoying the vibe without pointlessly adding to the hangover.

Pretty much all pubs have alcohol-free options in cans, but for whatever reason I just don't get the same enjoyment having a can or bottle as I do having a draught pint. I wonder if/when the bars at Glasto will start offering low/no alcohol beer on tap? I imagine the demand just isn't strong enough at the moment, but judging by their spread in London (in the pubs I've been going to anyway) it may just be a matter of time.

That would be great. 

Not seen on tap in this country yet (I'm still grateful when somewhere has more than 1 and none of them are Becks Blue) but I have abroad. Germany, Spain and Portugal that I can think of. There is just something much more satisfying drinking draught

[misc]

11 minutes ago, philipsteak said:

That would be great. 

Not seen on tap in this country yet (I'm still grateful when somewhere has more than 1 and none of them are Becks Blue) but I have abroad. Germany, Spain and Portugal that I can think of. There is just something much more satisfying drinking draught

It might just be a w*nky East London trend at the moment, and it's definitely very recent, but it feels like Lucky Saint especially has been on a drive to get on taps in pubs. I hope it's the start of a wider trend because I'm a massive pub nerd but can't hack the sessions like I used to. At Glasto it would be ideal to be able to intersperse the real stuff with something alcohol free, because a lot of the appeal is sitting/standing in the sun (it will be sunny) with a cold pint.

[philipsteak]

28 minutes ago, misc said:

It might just be a w*nky East London trend at the moment, and it's definitely very recent, but it feels like Lucky Saint especially has been on a drive to get on taps in pubs. I hope it's the start of a wider trend because I'm a massive pub nerd but can't hack the sessions like I used to. At Glasto it would be ideal to be able to intersperse the real stuff with something alcohol free, because a lot of the appeal is sitting/standing in the sun (it will be sunny) with a cold pint.

Yeah, not quite reached Cumbria yet. Give it 6 or 7 years and we'll be all over it

[Lycra]

People choose to drink alcohol because it gives them something. Acceptance, relaxation, release, escape.....I've done them all. Now I'm older I still do it, but not to the same degree or for the same reasons. I just like the taste. Kaliber has a lot to answer for 😣

[deebeedoobee]

1 hour ago, philipsteak said:

That would be great. 

Not seen on tap in this country yet (I'm still grateful when somewhere has more than 1 and none of them are Becks Blue) but I have abroad. Germany, Spain and Portugal that I can think of. There is just something much more satisfying drinking draught

Lucky saint is on tap in The Exchange venue Bristol. A few places we’ve been to lately have had other AF beer. Wells had Heineken AF on tap , which is hideous, but at least it’s a start. 

[philipsteak]

53 minutes ago, deebeedoobee said:

Lucky saint is on tap in The Exchange venue Bristol. A few places we’ve been to lately have had other AF beer. Wells had Heineken AF on tap , which is hideous, but at least it’s a start. 

Out of all the big companies I actually think Heineken is one of the better ones. It's still a last resort mind. I once picked up a 4 pack of the Budweiser one (Prohibition?) for a quid from Poundstretcher or B&M or somewhere. I was robbed. I think it might even have been worse than Kaliber. 

[deebeedoobee]

7 minutes ago, philipsteak said:

Out of all the big companies I actually think Heineken is one of the better ones. It's still a last resort mind. I once picked up a 4 pack of the Budweiser one (Prohibition?) for a quid from Poundstretcher or B&M or somewhere. I was robbed. I think it might even have been worse than Kaliber. 

100% agree!

[Deaf Nobby Burton]

50 minutes ago, philipsteak said:

Out of all the big companies I actually think Heineken is one of the better ones. It's still a last resort mind. I once picked up a 4 pack of the Budweiser one (Prohibition?) for a quid from Poundstretcher or B&M or somewhere. I was robbed. I think it might even have been worse than Kaliber. 

The Budweiser one is an absolute crime, how they could possibly make it taste so bad and just totally unlike beer is beyond me.