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Sober times


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15 minutes ago, Watergirl said:

Same here @hodgey123.  I stopped drinking 22 June 2020, the week I was doing Glastonbury-at-Home and watching lots of gigs online. So I will be two years alcohol-free when this Glastonbury comes around.

I am really pleased I stopped drinking and feel so much better. It was easy enough giving up during lockdown and I worried how I would manage when real life returned. Have to say the gigs I have been to recently I enjoyed immensely. It is almost as if I can hear more detail in the music!

Glastonbury will be my first sober festival, so let's see how that goes. Like others on this thread, I enjoy alcohol-free beers. The new Guinness 0.0 is excellent, but as a pedestrian solo traveller I can't be bringing cans.

I was the same as you and gave up in the lockdowns but then went back to it whenever let free again! I am quite lucky in that I never really truly enjoyed or loved the taste of alcohol unlike some, it was more of a means to an end with friends, so it has helped me when quitting altogether I think. 

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Not something I could or would want to do at Glastonbury but I went sober for October and November ahead of the Xmas period and really liked it. Xmas then came along and I got in to the habit of drinking again. Post Covid my social life has really changed (drastically reduced) and I now work from home. I never drink in the week, but come Friday after mostly being at home all week I cannot resist a drink. I don’t drink loads as such, normally 4x 660ml bottles of beer, but then if im not doing anything Saturday and Sunday I’ll do the same both nights as well. I then tend to feel pretty awful on Monday (not hungover, just anxiety/miserable) and always think I’ll stop on the following Friday, but I don’t. It’s a bit of a tricky one because I do really enjoy that first drink on Friday and it’s not like I’m drinking ridiculous amounts, but back in October/November once I weened myself off it I definitely felt much better overal. I will probably never give drink up in reality, but I can really understand why people do. 

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14 minutes ago, Deaf Nobby Burton said:

Not something I could or would want to do at Glastonbury but I went sober for October and November ahead of the Xmas period and really liked it. Xmas then came along and I got in to the habit of drinking again. Post Covid my social life has really changed (drastically reduced) and I now work from home. I never drink in the week, but come Friday after mostly being at home all week I cannot resist a drink. I don’t drink loads as such, normally 4x 660ml bottles of beer, but then if im not doing anything Saturday and Sunday I’ll do the same both nights as well. I then tend to feel pretty awful on Monday (not hungover, just anxiety/miserable) and always think I’ll stop on the following Friday, but I don’t. It’s a bit of a tricky one because I do really enjoy that first drink on Friday and it’s not like I’m drinking ridiculous amounts, but back in October/November once I weened myself off it I definitely felt much better overal. I will probably never give drink up in reality, but I can really understand why people do. 

Yeah it is tough, I’m similar to you working from home all week and then that weekend release almost is great, but at the moment just not feeling existential dread/anxiety in the days after trumps that buzz for me 

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17 minutes ago, funkychick2007 said:

All my festivals are sober!!! I have just as much fun as anyone!’ And theres loads of non alcoholic drinks around!! 

Same here! I have an intolerance (maybe allergy) to alcohol so decided to live a sober life. The apple juice from the cider bus is delicious!

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This will be my 8th or 9th Glastonbury sober. Plus numerous other festivals. And it's great. Different but great. It's been so long now (15 years or so) that I genuinely don't miss it. The idea of being drunk just seems so weird now. And I used to drink a lot. A lot. 

There is the odd time I feel a little jealous seeing everyone let loose a bit more than I do but then I don't miss the hangovers/despair or the forgetting. And I feel pretty broken on the Monday as it is so God knows how bad I'd feel if I still drank

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  • 3 weeks later...

Typical bar encounter at a gig last night.

I grabbed some cash and went to the venue but when I got to the bar I saw the dreaded sign “cards only”.

A drunk bloke waiting at the bar saw me about to ask the bar staff something and aggressively told me to wait my turn pal as he was first.

I asked if the bar downstairs was also card only and barman said yes which meant I was unable to buy my own drink. 

So I explained to the drunk bloke that I couldn’t buy my own drink and asked him if he’d like to buy me a drink instead. I waved my wad of cash at him so he knew he’d not be out of pocket.

He said no - not really but then agreed in the end as he understood my predicament and knew he’d get my money. So I went first and ordered my drink… a ginger beer! 😝 

Drunk bloke hits the roof and says fucks sake man you’re not having one of them after all that - like I was insulting his newly offered friendship purely on his imagined contract of me asking for an alcoholic drink.

Now, it’s actually none of his business what I drink, but nevertheless I had to decide how to play this one coz he wasn’t happy and the barman was waiting to see how this one went.  

So I leaned in to the drunk man and very careful explained that I’m in recovery, which I’m comfortable saying, but me and him were not getting on too well at this point so I had hesitant about it coz sometimes people don’t understand. He was a big man, fairly well tanked and already pretty pissed off with me for butting in and then requesting his help.

Something clicked in him as he heard me say this and he instantly understood what I’d explained.  He visibly softened and relaxed and asked me how long.  

Six years I said to which he replied he’d once done ten before lapsing. Done Fellowship and everything he proudly explained but had fallen back in it.

He tried to give me my money back but I firmly reused it and gave him enough for his own drink too.  As we parted he looked me in the eye shook my hand firmly and I know what he was thinking by his new body language and strong eye contact. It was “Fair play pal, I get you”. 

Over the past few years I’ve had quite a few drinkers quietly tell me they wish they could quit or cut down and in that brief contact of a handshake I felt him set himself an intention to review his own drinking.

Telling this story here as I’m sure other non-drinkers will also have been “tutted at” for having a soft drink in a round. It never fucking gets easier does it unless you are with understanding mates.  And to those of you wanting to review your own drinking, my advice is to listen to your heart and do whatever you feel is right for you, whenever that will be.  

💚💛💙

Edited by ian the worm
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@ian the worm

Absolutely all credit to you!! Be proud of what you have achieved just by reading the about the encounter you will have inspired some one else!! 
Many people ask me when I ask for water at the bar if Im in recovery it wud be simpler to say yes rather than explain I have an allergy to alcohol!! The reason I don't is that would take away and discredit the incredible journey of self reflection and control that people go on in recovery! 
I see people make tht change in my job and its amazing what they get from it and those around them! 💜
I hope tht makes sense!! 👍 

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Two experiences spring to mind...we usually always go hell for leather. One yea we burnt out by the Sunday so we only had say 2/3 drinks all day...ruined. After Mumford and Sons on the pyramid we decided it would be best to head off and fet back to our own beds. Was a nightmare journey...7 hours to the NE...nearly crashed several times because whoever was driving kept nodding off. Will never do that again...

Only time I've drank in moderation and not taken any drugs was when I went with one of my exes. On the plus side remembered everything...but this was outweighed by the severe lack of sleep and how tired I got. Figured you have to get mashed at Glastonbury otherwise the 5 days is a long slog.

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This year will be my soberest. Combination of volunteering and some ongoing health issues. Still like the very occasional drink but too much can put me out the game for days! Will be onsite from the Monday so really looking forward to exploring more and remembering more!

Glastonbury’s in the past have been a bit of a blur especially the ones in the 90’s. Really not missing alcohol that much!

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I've found myself drinking less and less at Glastonbury over the years.  I think last time I had 2 days where i drank nothing alcoholic until the evening. 

This time, I've given myself a random 6 days to have a drink over the year, in an attempt to curb my habit.  I had a few pints last weekend, so now down to 5.  I want to have 1 or2 drinking day at Glasto (if I want to) so as to leave some days for the rest of the year.. If i want to! 

It makes sense to me as any drinking day has to be planned and considered!

Good luck to all you 1st time non drinkers out there and can't wait to hear what a shift of perspective brings to you! 

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This thread is such a great read and it’s very interesting to hear peoples’ sober experiences of Glasto.  Thank you @ian the worm for posting that story above and congrats on your sobriety.

I’m considering doing a couple of festivals sober this year and have generally stopped drinking altogether, largely for health reasons.  It’s really interesting to see the response from friends about this.

On Friday for instance I was out with a group of friends and I was ordering Lucky Saints.  My friend saw this and asked me if they were good and said he was going to get one.  He seemed delighted to see someone not drinking and it was as if me not drinking gave him permission not to do so either.

On the other hand, I have had friends look genuinely annoyed at me when I don’t order alcoholic drinks.  Which on one hand kinda really pisses me off and upsets me.  But on some level I can kind of understand as I suspect it sort of suggests to them that I’m not up for as good as a time as them.  But I think that is illusory really.

Over the last couple of years I’ve tried a lot of non/low-alcoholic beers.  My favourites are the Brooklyn Lager Special Effects and the Clausthaler lagers.  

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Interesting reading. I’m not doing a sober festival but thinking about a semi-sober one.

 

I haven’t had a drop since November. I didn’t actually drink all that much anyways so it seemed like the logical thing to do. Had a few nights out with the boys, which wasn’t as hard as I thought.

I’ve enjoyed being completely lucid and enjoying the moment rather than it digging up after 7 pints. And obviously the 3 days hangovers.

I plan to have a few drinks and maybe even get pissed a few nights but no drugs and no absolutely hammered nights. I might go Back on the last one though.

I feel like if all places on earth, Glastonbury is so full of joy already, it doesn’t need anything mind altering to enjoy!

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7 hours ago, lessthanwill1 said:

This thread is such a great read and it’s very interesting to hear peoples’ sober experiences of Glasto.  Thank you @ian the worm for posting that story above and congrats on your sobriety.

I’m considering doing a couple of festivals sober this year and have generally stopped drinking altogether, largely for health reasons.  It’s really interesting to see the response from friends about this.

On Friday for instance I was out with a group of friends and I was ordering Lucky Saints.  My friend saw this and asked me if they were good and said he was going to get one.  He seemed delighted to see someone not drinking and it was as if me not drinking gave him permission not to do so either.

On the other hand, I have had friends look genuinely annoyed at me when I don’t order alcoholic drinks.  Which on one hand kinda really pisses me off and upsets me.  But on some level I can kind of understand as I suspect it sort of suggests to them that I’m not up for as good as a time as them.  But I think that is illusory really.

Over the last couple of years I’ve tried a lot of non/low-alcoholic beers.  My favourites are the Brooklyn Lager Special Effects and the Clausthaler lagers.  

The AF beers are certainly getting better aren't they.   I haven't tried the ones you've mentioned, but look out for them.  Out of the many I have had I love Bristol beer factory's Clear Head.  Often chose that not because I don't want alcohol but just because its a nice beer.

Whereas Heineken blue can get in the bin.

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8 hours ago, lessthanwill1 said:

This thread is such a great read and it’s very interesting to hear peoples’ sober experiences of Glasto.  Thank you @ian the worm for posting that story above and congrats on your sobriety.

I’m considering doing a couple of festivals sober this year and have generally stopped drinking altogether, largely for health reasons.  It’s really interesting to see the response from friends about this.

On Friday for instance I was out with a group of friends and I was ordering Lucky Saints.  My friend saw this and asked me if they were good and said he was going to get one.  He seemed delighted to see someone not drinking and it was as if me not drinking gave him permission not to do so either.

On the other hand, I have had friends look genuinely annoyed at me when I don’t order alcoholic drinks.  Which on one hand kinda really pisses me off and upsets me.  But on some level I can kind of understand as I suspect it sort of suggests to them that I’m not up for as good as a time as them.  But I think that is illusory really.

Over the last couple of years I’ve tried a lot of non/low-alcoholic beers.  My favourites are the Brooklyn Lager Special Effects and the Clausthaler lagers.  

Interesting I have never drank and I have had some work nights out where some people really seem to utterly resent my choice not to drink. I've never been judgemental about what they do or don't do but from some conversations some people seem to really dislike that I will remember their behaviour with clarity. I happily still dance away on a dancefloor, am often one of the first to do karaoke despite being well aware that I am not gifted with an amazing voice so it can be kind of troubling when people have that attitude. 

I actually think for a lot of people it's at the heart of anti-Islamic prejudice. That they somehow can't trust someone who won't get drunk with them and I think it's a pretty sad state of affairs to be honest. 

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I'm a non-drinker (of alcohol) and quite a lot of people appreciate it as I offer to be the driver if they want to have an evening out which involves drink.  At festivals my drink of choice is Red Bull.

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My intake naturally decreased over the years as enjoyment grew less and hangovers worse. During lockdown 1, when it looked like the rest of the world was having gin on their cornflakes, I rebelled. I've not gone totally dry but I can't actually remember the last time I had a drink and I don't miss it. My luggage will be significantly lighter this year. 🙂

My coffee intake has gone through the roof, mind. Proper Coffee better be in their usual spot.

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1 hour ago, gigpusher said:

Interesting I have never drank and I have had some work nights out where some people really seem to utterly resent my choice not to drink.  

To my eternal shame, in my 20s I was on at least a couple of occasions the one resenting & making nasty comments about people not drinking. 🤦‍♂️ It’s far from my proudest moment.

In my case at least a lot of it had to do with my own reasons for drinking, social anxiety and unhappiness. When somebody else is having a great time without the crutch of alcohol it really brings your own inadequacies into sharp relief.

All too often that turns into resentment against the perfectly innocent non-drinker… totally unhelpful but a very human way to react to uncomfortable feelings.

There’s also a sort of schoolboy sentiment “Wahey, all aboard the getting sh*tfaced bus!!” which makes it feel like you’re part of a group… and somebody choosing not to be in that group can seem almost offensive when you’re deep in the grip of such an immature attitude. 

Absolutely none of this justifies how I behaved of course, but wanted to share in the hope it helps understanding. 

Thankfully I grew up and took my mental health a bit more seriously. Once I started getting to grips with some of the underlying issues it really helped change my relationship with booze.

Still totally a work in progress and sometimes if I have a drink it’s not for the healthiest of reasons. But my days of being a dickhead to non-drinkers are long behind me, thank goodness. 

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Love reading this thread, and kudos to @ian the wormfor not only nullifying a tense & anxious situation, but impacting the gent in a positive way in the end. 💙

My own alcohol intake has massively reduced over the passed 3 years, mainly due to the fact that I just don’t value it like I used to. Went 4 months without a drop last year, and the odd dry month or two here & there before, and genuinely I just don’t miss it when going dry. My problem back along, but much less now, was not being able to say no & being a people pleaser which would generally get me in trouble. They way I look it now is that if I say yes, what am I then saying no to: I’m saying no to having a clear head the next day, no to giving my family the quality time they need from me, no to being on my A game each day with my business… and so on. 

I’ve also had shit & felt mildly judged for not drinking on a few occasions, but I’ve now learnt that the ones having a dig are just justify their own drinking, which again makes it easier to say no.

Will I have a drink at Glasto this year? More than likely, but no way to the extent that I have in the past. Time goes so fast when you’re there, and I’d now rather get up earlier & suck up as much of the atmosphere as I can whilst there.

Thanks for all the n.a. beer suggestions though, not found one I can really get behind yet so keen to do some more research. 😁

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1 hour ago, scaryclaireyfairy said:

My intake naturally decreased over the years as enjoyment grew less and hangovers worse. During lockdown 1, when it looked like the rest of the world was having gin on their cornflakes, I rebelled. I've not gone totally dry but I can't actually remember the last time I had a drink and I don't miss it. My luggage will be significantly lighter this year. 🙂

My coffee intake has gone through the roof, mind. Proper Coffee better be in their usual spot.

I've spent a fair chunk of the money I've saved from not drinking alcohol on fancy coffee beans, equipment, and in cafes. 

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23 minutes ago, yehbutnobut said:

Love reading this thread, and kudos to @ian the wormfor not only nullifying a tense & anxious situation, but impacting the gent in a positive way in the end. 💙

My own alcohol intake has massively reduced over the passed 3 years, mainly due to the fact that I just don’t value it like I used to. Went 4 months without a drop last year, and the odd dry month or two here & there before, and genuinely I just don’t miss it when going dry. My problem back along, but much less now, was not being able to say no & being a people pleaser which would generally get me in trouble. They way I look it now is that if I say yes, what am I then saying no to: I’m saying no to having a clear head the next day, no to giving my family the quality time they need from me, no to being on my A game each day with my business… and so on. 

I’ve also had shit & felt mildly judged for not drinking on a few occasions, but I’ve now learnt that the ones having a dig are just justify their own drinking, which again makes it easier to say no.

Will I have a drink at Glasto this year? More than likely, but no way to the extent that I have in the past. Time goes so fast when you’re there, and I’d now rather get up earlier & suck up as much of the atmosphere as I can whilst there.

Thanks for all the n.a. beer suggestions though, not found one I can really get behind yet so keen to do some more research. 😁

To my taste buds (which, admittedly haven't had the real thing for about 15 years) the new AF Guinness is pretty good. 

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