The most smashed you’ve ever been?? (At the festival.)

[Northern Soul]

Ok. I realise this might not be the most popular thread ever, or certainly, not elicit the most (honest) responses. However, I’m not shy so I’ll get the ball rolling....

 

 

Edited November 14, 2018 by Northern Soul
Edit; I’ve been drinking all night and have somehow “posted” the thread without finishing my story. FFS, give me a minute please everyone?

[stuartbert two hats]

1 minute ago, Northern Soul said:

Ok. I realise this might not be the most popular thread ever, or certainly, not elicit the most (honest) responses. However, I’m not shy so I’ll get the ball rolling. 

Go on then?

 

[Gucci Piggy]

The time I pissed myself in the porch of my tent after Justice and woke up at 5am thinking it was 5pm Sunday until I remembered I'd seen Biffy Clyro the night before.

Edit: Actually I think I had a piss in the porch of my tent and then passed out in it.

Edited November 14, 2018 by Gucci Piggy

[Crazyfool01]

its one of two .... the time I was running around the campsite in boxers covered in glow stick liquid    .....or the time I got bit over excited about the only time I was ever seeing REM play and  I got so smashed I have very little memory and was last seen being washed off under the taps by some lady .... these days unfortunately im more sensible because I need to be careful with type  1 diabetes 

[westholtschic]

2010 on the Wednesday drinking frozen cider all afternoon whilst watching the football on the Pyramid stage. Sometime later in the evening I was seen running around the West Holts field vomiting through my fingers, and following through, trying to find a loo!

Not very good behaviour for a volunteer medic! 

[clarkete]

Finally someone drags a thread down to my level.

If only I could bring myself to think about it ?

[Northern Soul]

......right here goes, take 2 *clapper board sound*. Ok 2017 after Radiohead (That I’m watching now on a download that someone kindly posted on here after the festival) I made my way to the naughty corner. Bought some, erm, pills, they were, I suspect not MDMA, anyhow, managed to lose my girlfriend, at god knows what time I decided to leave the SE corner and I’m not joking here, I “floated” back to my tent, it was like being in a fucking video game, very odd things were happening inside my head. So..... gets back to my tent, tried to get into my tent..... “THIS IS NOT YOUR FUCKING TENT” 2 very alarmed girls proclaimed, alighting, exiting and apologising, I made my way to my tent next door. I “awoke” the next morning, still not to be honest fully aware of who or where I was, and I’m not going to sugar coat this, i was wet, it had not been raining but I was wet. I was wet because during the night I had, well, I had pissed myself, now as a grown man who has a fully functioning and controllable bladder, this hadn’t happened to be before or since. So, I was a bit disheartened by this. To add to this, I was missing my bag, which I was sure I’d returned to my tent with (It contained lots of things I really really didn’t want to lose) so, still not fully compos mentis and damp with piss stained clothes I made my way to lost property (A good mile or so walk, great?) No the woman said, the bag I described was not there. Fuck me....!! Ok, nevermind. I then trudge the mile or so back to my tent to find my bag outside the next door neighbors tent that I’d tried to get into the night before. They must have woke up, thought who’se is this fucking bag and flung it outside. Anyway, that is my sorry sorry tale. Can anybody raise me 10?? 

[Northern Soul]

5 minutes ago, clarkete said:

Finally someone drags a thread down to my level.

If only I could bring myself to think about it ?

Come on, be brave, I’ve divulged?. 

[JoeyT]

When I dropped a pill at 9pm having been drinking since 10am and "came too" walking around one of the car parks on the West side of the site at 3am. No idea how I got there and considering I was staying in the East camper fields was a bit of an issue. My friends told me after that my last sighting was at 11pm so where I spent 4 hours is anyone's guess.

I still remember that feeling of confusion now, thinking "i'm at the festival why am I seeing all these cars" it was the sight of a white range rover which is my first memory having "woken up"

Anyway, I had somehow managed to leave the site without getting a pass out which made re-entry difficult to say the least. I still to this day don't know how I got out of the festival.

I was so spangled I could hardly speak and had to ring my friend in order to pass my phone to various stewards who he could explain what had happened to then they would direct me to where I needed to go.

I wound up at a portacabin around 4am where two very funny ladies who were amazing with me given my state sorted me out, much to their amusement. They knew the drill. Anyhow a few radio calls later having shown my ticket (which thankfully i still had) and my wristband, i was given a pass out and re-entered the site.

To this day this is still talked about every year.

[eFestivals]

not sayin'  

[slash's hat]

28 minutes ago, Gucci Piggy said:

The time I pissed myself in the porch of my tent after Justice and woke up at 5am thinking it was 5pm Sunday until I remembered I'd seen Biffy Clyro the night before.

Edit: Actually I think I had a piss in the porch of my tent and then passed out in it.

Need a word with your mother about her toilet training as a toddler I think.

[Northern Soul]

2 minutes ago, eFestivals said:

not sayin'  

Oh come on Neil, we’re all friends here. Did you piss yourself as a fully functioning adult? I did?. Jesus??...

[RichardWaller]

Surprisingly, I don't remember the most smashed I've been. I went to 2003 on my own and got talking to a group who I ended up camped near around Hawkwell/Row Mead side of the Pyramid. 2004 I was walking around with a mate and pass someone who says to me "alright Rich, we thought you were dead!". Apparently I was messy.

Edited November 14, 2018 by RichardWaller

[eFestivals]

6 minutes ago, Northern Soul said:

Oh come on Neil, we’re all friends here. Did you piss yourself as a fully functioning adult? I did?. Jesus??...

nah, just spent a Friday night on my knees in the mud. I blame the rum.  

PS: it took 25 years of attendance to manage getting that bad.  

Edited November 14, 2018 by eFestivals

[Penrhos]

I pulled a huge whitey by the other stage and had to watch all the Jessie J set as my legs wouldn't work. I just stood there wobbling & sweating for the whole time. My wife said "I thought you didn't like Jessie J" - she just thought I was stoned and fancied a listen....

 

I've also woken up in the middle of the night under a tree up in arcadia - it was getting light by the time I'd stumbled back to the tent.

Edited November 14, 2018 by Penrhos

[amfy]

For me - 2007.

Went to see The Chemical Brothers and I remember the giant clown saying ‘Get yourself high’ and then the show finished, and I was sure they’d only been on for 5 minutes. Everyone was turning away to leave saying what an amazing set it had been, and I was thinking ‘They’ve only just come on’!

This wasn’t (illicit) drug induced as by this point in my life I hadn’t partaken of anything for several years, but when we got back to our tent we sat down with the youngsters next door, who appeared not to have moved from their tent all weekend. 

When they passed a spliff round I thought ‘Why not have a couple of drags on the last night of Glastonbury?’ (We’d missed out on tickets in 2005 so I was very much in the ‘party like I might never be here again’ mindset).

Anyway, I don’t know whether it was a reduced tolerance, my existing inebriated state, or some kind of ‘jeffrey’ type thing that had been passed, but it didn’t go well.

As I went into the tent I tripped and fell, and my husband just stepped over me, telling me to ‘grow up’ because he was annoyed at me for taking something when we didn’t anymore and I didn’t even know what it was. He went on to bed and I slowly realised that I really couldn’t move. It was like our tent had turned into the dance tent. There was music and lights and dancing people, and I couldn’t speak. I was trying to say ‘Help! Something is very wrong!’ But I couldn’t form the words.

The next morning I woke up in bed, and it turned out my husband had got up for a piss at about 5am and found me still lying in the porch turning blue! He dragged me into bed.

We had to pull off the motorway about 20 times on the way home for me to be sick!

The worst part was that I was the manager of a drug treatment service at the time! The first rule is surely that you know what you’re taking, the second to be aware of your tolerance......smh!

I don’t think I have ever gone at a Glastonbury quite so hard since!

[WS_Jack_III]

Went to hard on Brothers Cider on the Wednesday one year. Fell asleep in my tent (was camping with family) woke up, got up to my knees, had a wee on my airbed. My family must have sat me down in a camping chair and sorted out the airbed. I fell asleep in the camping chair. Next thing I remembered was being at the bandstand, thinking it was Thursday, horrified that I'd missed a day of the festival. Had two meals and then I was okay 

 

I was in my early 20s.

[stuartbert two hats]

I'll tell you at the Ridge And Furrow next year.  Some things are not meant for the open web.

[Cooter]

Think it was 2003, not particularly smashed but I was wandering up through the greenfields and had a very quiet private panic attack (weds eve) after smoking a rather large spliff and collapsed on the floor believing I was having a heart attack and was going to die. Eternally grateful to the three stewards that found me and helped me gather my senses and bring me back to the real world.

After 20 years of indulging that was the last time I touched the stuff.

[Northern Soul]

It’s fucking odd, I was 40 when my little incident happened. I am a “seasoned” taker of ALL things but shit happens eh....!!

[The Toad.]

The Toad does not concern himself with the alcoholic frivolities of you mere mortals...

 

However, The Toad's friend gaffa taped two bottles of White Lightning to his hands, wobbled down to the John Peel stage and took a piss in the DFA 1979 crowd before passing out in said piss and being carted off by the medics.

Pathetic

[hfuhruhurr]

On the wednesday, kicked off with traditional brothers ciders and then walked up to the park while drinking a litre of cocktail. The cocktail was infused vodka and massively drinkable. My mate on ciders, me on what must have been 30% alcohol.

I couldn't figure out why the festival had planted triffids at the bottom of the fields - nasty sharp bastards that kept moving and grabbing me every time I staggered from the bar to the loos.

Started on the beer to sober up - logic was that had less alcohol and therefore was sobering.

Wateraid lady wanted me to sign up, I did so for water and said, yes, nuclear arms are very bad.

Woke up being dragged across the ground by my mate away from the path of a tractor in West Holts with a burger all over my face (I did remember thinking that my mouth wasn't anywhere near where I'd left it).

[fatyeti24]

I once ate too much tartiflette from Le Grand Bouffe and had to sit down for a good 20 minutes afterwards.  Crazy times.

I also have this story about Stuartbert Twohats, that I'm probably better placed to tell than he is.

[Gucci Piggy]

52 minutes ago, slash's hat said:

Need a word with your mother about her toilet training as a toddler I think.

@the wonderwhy can vouch for the state I was in that night.

[The Red Telephone]

Watching Radiohead last year I was convinced the pyramid stage was collapsing on one side and a maior tragedy was about to occur. In hindsight, I was just watching the stage from an angle.

In 1999 I “lost” about 6 hours during and after Orbital’s set. Came to having a conversation with a tree.

 

Edited November 14, 2018 by The Red Telephone