Top 10 things you’d rather not see at Glastonbury 2019

[Dave_c]

People taking out their gentleman sausage to have a piss into a cup whilst standing watching an act like it's a totally normal thing to do. There is a word beginning with C to describe these people.

[Respectfatfrog]

2 hours ago, GETOFFAMYLAWN said:

Yeah, as well as that fight, somebody tried to steal my bag, and the bloke behind us kept shoving me aggressively saying mind out for his kids. His kids were sat in camping chairs in the middle of a crowd, just outside the front pit, complaining for the whole show that they didn't like it and wanted to leave and he kept telling them to shut up. Also somebody did a pill fart which smelled bad, and one girl took it as an opportunity to loudly admonish strangers around her, accusing them of being dirty bastards who shit. Such a weird crowd that night, it just felt completely different to anything else I've seen at the festival.

since becoming a dad a few years ago this crap makes me well up.

hope the dad realises his kids memorys lasting memorys of thier dad taking them to glasto is them being in a place to busy most lilkely scared and worried all gthe while thier dad tells them to shut up. f!34king twat.

sorry will get of my soap box now.

[morph100]

11 minutes ago, paulshane said:

Blue Nun and Dairlylea

There's a time and a place for all wine and cheese combinations and yours is 4:38am in Bez's Unfairground, see you there! ?

[Smeble]

19 hours ago, CeriG said:

Snotty Tory teenagers asking me if I have “a lighter darling” 

Yes how dare they be polite to you

[mike86]

1 hour ago, morph100 said:

I was absolutely livid last time they didn't have any!

So question now is, which box of red wine is the best, new thread to come on this nearer the time....and also which cheese will last in the rucksack during the sweltering June heat and be spreadable on a cracker with a wooden knife from one of the food stalls?

Not black bomber. I bought some at a food festival last year and stuck it in my bag. By the time I got home it taste like wet feet. 

[Becks12]

1 hour ago, morph100 said:

I was absolutely livid last time they didn't have any!

So question now is, which box of red wine is the best, new thread to come on this nearer the time....and also which cheese will last in the rucksack during the sweltering June heat and be spreadable on a cracker with a wooden knife from one of the food stalls?

Babybels last well...

[CeriG]

1 hour ago, Smeble said:

Yes how dare they be polite to you

If they’re going to smoke just buy a lighter ?? Saves asking everyone around them umpteen times 

[JayBalls]

Lily Allen

[Skelts]

5 hours ago, GETOFFAMYLAWN said:

Also somebody did a pill fart 

Is this even a thing?!! ?

[SteveTLizard]

Just the one thing, that thing being the entire festival if I'm forced to view it at home through the "must give the "popular" bands all the airtime, and don't show anything of interest" lens of the BBC coverage.

*** crosses fingers *** please, resale deities, bless me with tickets in April.

[Beerqueen]

28 minutes ago, SteveTLizard said:

Just the one thing, that thing being the entire festival if I'm forced to view it at home through the "must give the "popular" bands all the airtime, and don't show anything of interest" lens of the BBC coverage.

*** crosses fingers *** please, resale deities, bless me with tickets in April.

I didn't go in 2015 - watched it on TV after having been in 2014 and I couldn't believe how poor the coverage was - nothing on red button during the day and, as you say, only showing the popular stuff.  You don't realise how bad it is if you haven't been.  I know it would be impossible to capture the real festival but they could at least try!

People have said to me "why go when I can see it better on my TV".  Where do you start to explain on how many levels they are wrong?  I sometimes try to explain but I know they don't believe me.

[Crazyfool01]

i actually quite like the fact the bbc cover the main stages only ....although some one off programmes about other areas might be quite interesting 

[glastolover19]

5 hours ago, GETOFFAMYLAWN said:

There was a nice story on here a few years ago, of some kid who'd called in sick to school to go to Glastonbury. Then one night he was wandering around gurning his face off, saw his maths teacher coming the opposite direction gurning his face off; both of them did a little double take, then did a mutual nod of acknowledgement and gurned about their own business again. Never spoke a word of it in school.

Bumped into my sons future teacher (as of that Sept) as she she arrived Friday evening,I was in just heading out. Swapped numbers and caught up Saturday. No she wasn't gurning her tits off but was definitely a wee tippsy,shared few do'a was kinda odd but also kinda cool knowing she wasn't uptight

[phillyfaddle]

5 hours ago, Dave_c said:

People taking out their gentleman sausage to have a piss into a cup whilst standing watching an act like it's a totally normal thing to do. There is a word beginning with C to describe these people.

Yes. I had this exact experience at West Holts. He just couldn’t be arsed to walk 100m to the bogs. 

[Nduja]

6 hours ago, dentalplan said:

I love seeing old football shirts at the festival, by the way.

Its a fair point and I think worthy of further exploration. Especially as I usually have one footy shirt day at festivals and street parties since about 2016. My general rule is not to wear my own club's gear.

This is my order of preference:

Non-home nation nternational kit (any era)

Dukla Prague Away Kit

00s European/South American club kit

Any 90s goalie kit but especially LFC/NUFC 95-96

80s domestic club kit

2010s european/international club kit

Current PL training kit

90s PL/FL club kit

90s european club kit (apart from Juve with the stars on the shoulders, Fiorentina Nintendo, Ajax, and Inter Ronaldo kits)

2000-2006 domestic club kit

90s home nation international kit

Current PL/FL club kit

2006-2017 PL/FL club kit

Current home nation international kit

2000-2017 home nation international kit

Edited October 9, 2018 by Nduja

[phillyfaddle]

5 hours ago, paulshane said:

Tall people stood in front of me.

What, you mean like this guy? I’m 5’2”. He came and stood directly in front of me. At least 7 foot AND wearing a top hat just to rub it in. He blocked the sun. Bastard.

[Hugh Jass]

1 hour ago, Nduja said:

Its a fair point and I think worthy of further exploration. Especially as I usually have one footy shirt day at festivals and street parties since about 2016. My general rule is not to wear my own club's gear.

This is my order of preference:

Non-home nation nternational kit (any era)

Dukla Prague Away Kit

00s European/South American club kit

Any 90s goalie kit but especially LFC/NUFC 95-96

80s domestic club kit

2010s european/international club kit

Current PL training kit

90s PL/FL club kit

90s european club kit (apart from Juve with the stars on the shoulders, Fiorentina Nintendo, Ajax, and Inter Ronaldo kits)

2000-2006 domestic club kit

90s home nation international kit

Current PL/FL club kit

2006-2017 PL/FL club kit

Current home nation international kit

2000-2017 home nation international kit

I own Holland 88, Germany 90, Club America 17, Mexico away 06 (google it, it’s brilliant) and of course the 70’s WBA green and yellow away. Oh, and the current England training shirt.

Not sure which, if any, will make the farm next year...

[Purple aki squat]

27 minutes ago, Hugh Jass said:

I own Holland 88, Germany 90, Club America 17, Mexico away 06 (google it, it’s brilliant) and of course the 70’s WBA green and yellow away. Oh, and the current England training shirt.

Not sure which, if any, will make the farm next year...

I bet people recognise all of em apart from the West Brom kit.

[balti-pie]

All us classy hipster leftie craft beer twats wear St Pauli shirts ?? #hamburgistbraunweiss 

[Hugh Jass]

47 minutes ago, Purple aki squat said:

I bet people recognise all of em apart from the West Brom kit.

That’s the best one.

[Charm]

4 hours ago, crazyfool1 said:

i actually quite like the fact the bbc cover the main stages only ....although some one off programmes about other areas might be quite interesting 

Made me think of this.

Charm x

 

[Amy Lawn]

6 hours ago, Skelts said:

Is this even a thing?!! ?

Idk, I don't do pills other than paracetamol and multivitamins, but I've heard it said. Maybe its an excuse for people who have horrible farts instead of just admitting they need to eat more veg and less shite. Who can say.

[BlackHole2006]

People treating the green fields like a fucking zoo to gwawk & laugh at the “dirty hippies”

Those folks have been going to the festival longer than you have and have played a vital part in it’s history. Respect them or go home. 

[StupidDream]

Dunno if it's a thing everywhere, but groups of people (sometimes more than 20) moving like a 'caterpillar/snake' (or, conga line) through the crowds, allowing nobody to pass, blocking your movement, especially when you are desperately trying to go for a piss/beer/different stage.

(Losing your friends is part of the charm too.)

Edited October 9, 2018 by StupidDream

[amfy]

18 hours ago, CeriG said:

If they’re going to smoke just buy a lighter ?? Saves asking everyone around them umpteen times 

Ah - asking people for a light is part of the sociability of smoking.

I packed up 15 years ago but often still carry a lighter so that I have one when people ask!