NFR NFC - to tide you over the fallow year

[Crazyfool01]

Definitely no pint (typo but i left it )  worrying about tickets now ... lots of people to help and helpers on this forum .... currently I can help 4  but of course that will change ... but yep theres a nice summer to enjoy first 

[fatyeti24]

Lovely bit of spring sunshine here today. About time too, winter definitely outstayed its welcome this year. 

[guypjfreak]

Good riddance winter 

[guypjfreak]

Just found out that one of my friends has gone missing right near where I fell off a cliff.. It's in the local news and everything.. Had a report that he's been seen with a rucksack so that at least is good news.. 

Could do with some good vibes old sons

[vintagelaureate]

24 minutes ago, guypjfreak said:

Just found out that one of my friends has gone missing right near where I fell off a cliff.. It's in the local news and everything.. Had a report that he's been seen with a rucksack so that at least is good news.. 

Could do with some good vibes old sons

Hope all is okay Guy. I'm sure it will be. I will keep my fingers crossed. Keep us updated.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

24 minutes ago, guypjfreak said:

Just found out that one of my friends has gone missing right near where I fell off a cliff.. It's in the local news and everything.. Had a report that he's been seen with a rucksack so that at least is good news.. 

Could do with some good vibes old sons

Sending positive vibes over. 

 

[guypjfreak]

So have had a message from his mother saying he just needs some space.. I think the old bill put it out there after they fucked up with that girl a few months ago. But thanks for your vibes they worked wonders. G

[lucyginger]

Glad he's ok, Guy! 

Yes more praising needed, and with Spring well on it's way it'll be easier! 

 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

 

We are educated from an early age to not stick our heads over the parapet. 

So, why do I, and probably you, want to stick my / your head (s) over the parapet?

It's because we're fucking Peeping Toms, that's why!  lol

 

Actually, that's not quite true. There's a load of curtain twitchers in the world. They need to be taken in to account. Then there's the adventurers, also the people who will not have shackles put up on their freedom etc etc

So forget about the Peeping Tom bit. It's obviously insignificant when all the other possible reasons are taken in to account. 

Does anybody know if there's an AA type thing for Peeping Toms? 

It's not the lack of desire, y6ou see. I just can't get over the fences anymore without injuring myself.

Does anybody want to buy a black balaclava? 

lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

[mr gumby]

1 hour ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

 

We are educated from an early age to not stick our heads over the parapet. 

So, why do I, and probably you, want to stick my / your head (s) over the parapet?

It's because we're fucking Peeping Toms, that's why!  lol

 

Actually, that's not quite true. There's a load of curtain twitchers in the world. They need to be taken in to account. Then there's the adventurers, also the people who will not have shackles put up on their freedom etc etc

So forget about the Peeping Tom bit. It's obviously insignificant when all the other possible reasons are taken in to account. 

Does anybody know if there's an AA type thing for Peeping Toms? 

It's not the lack of desire, y6ou see. I just can't get over the fences anymore without injuring myself.

Does anybody want to buy a black balaclava? 

lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

1 hour ago, mr gumby said:

 

Nice one mr gumby. I went to see him a number of years ago, and saw him do that sketch. I'm not really one for stand up comedy, but he was very good at it. The only other person I have rated is Lee Mack. I lie - I did, initially, like Jimmy Carr, but gave up on him.

Anyway, maybe the Mickey Flannagan show was where my fictitious Peeping Tommery originated. Only, it's not.

[vintagelaureate]

Pretty stressful week... but I won't go into it. Things looking brighter note in comparison. 

Hope all are well, I wish good weather and good fortune to all this weekend!

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

32 minutes ago, vintagelaureate said:

Pretty stressful week... but I won't go into it. Things looking brighter note in comparison. 

Hope all are well, I wish good weather and good fortune to all this weekend!

Sorry to hear about the stress vintage. Good weather and good fortune to you and your family too this weekend.

[guypjfreak]

You opened the tube yet Yog 

.. I have a camouflage balaclava and if the weather gods are good I'm fucking off to peep and to tom in the forest.. 

Taking my baby Ruby to see dippy the dinosaur tomo...... ooo and if I haven't already said I'm going to be granddad to another baby girl lol.. 

 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

21 minutes ago, guypjfreak said:

You opened the tube yet Yog 

.. I have a camouflage balaclava and if the weather gods are good I'm fucking off to peep and to tom in the forest.. 

Taking my baby Ruby to see dippy the dinosaur tomo...... ooo and if I haven't already said I'm going to be granddad to another baby girl lol.. 

 

Hello guy,

I'm afraid that I haven't opened said tube. Got so stoned last night that I actually fell asleep very early - or, at least, I think I did!

I'm not so sure about the possible results of Peeping Tommery in a forest. That said, I suppose some people ( not saying you guy) would get their thrills stumbling across a doggers car park in the forest. I actually bought a Russian night sight (for a fair few quid) once, so I could see in the dark. If I'm really honest though, it was to see what kind of animal activity was going on in my back garden of a night. And no, no that's not a euphemism! Anyway, to cut a long story short, it was shite. Now, let's face, it - who's going to go back to a Russian business and tell them their a bunch of c**ts?!

 

Edited April 13, 2018 by Yoghurt on a Stick

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

 

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to taste cat or dog food? I have. I have even witnessed somebody eating cat food straight from the tin, with a dessert spoon. That was my cousin that was. I also witnessed him getting out an air pistol on a heavily occupied high street, and putting the pistol right up to a city dwelling pigeon's (they don't take shit off anybody, believe me) head, and saying to me something along the lines of 'Shall I, shall I? You decide'. I think it must have been the look of horror on my face that gave my answer away! Anyway, he then put the pistol back in to his jacket and we walked on. 

[guypjfreak]

11 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Hello guy,

I'm afraid that I haven't opened said tube. Got so stoned last night that I actually fell asleep very early - or, at least, I think I did!

I'm not so sure about the possible results of Peeping Tommery in a forest. That said, I suppose some people ( not saying you guy) would get their thrills stumbling across a doggers car park in the forest. I actually bought a Russian night sight (for a fair few quid) once, so I could see in the dark. If I'm really honest though, it was to see what kind of animal activity was going on in my back garden of a night. And no, no that's not a euphemism! Anyway, to cut a long story short, it was shite. Now, let's face, it - who's going to go back to a Russian business and tell them their a bunch of c**ts?!

 

Lol I've got a funny story about doggers but I'm of to show baby Ruby dippy  so it'll have to wait 

[guypjfreak]

OK so back from seeing dippy on tour it was great. 

Anyway story time. 

We like to wild camp...... Finding place's out of the way and don't pay........ Anyway we found this tiny car park in the forest and settled down to a drink and some grub.. There were two cars in this car park and shortly two bloke's walked out of the woods from different paths and got in there cars. 

Only one of them stayed and Yakked on the phone for a few minutes before he to left.. 

So there I am Sat with a cider when this top of the range Mercedes pulls in and hes looking at me me at him and I lift my can as to be polite.. Anyway he's on the phone and off he goes.. Then it was a Land Rover but not just a land rover but A TOP OF THE RANGE ONE. 

Ten fifteen minutes go by and another car top of the range BMW.. Same thing happens and he's gone. Now this happens five times before I'm calling wife to come take a look plus I was getting a bit nervous lol 

To cut a long story short in the space of an hour and a half about fifteen cars pulled into that place and every one was absolutely TOP OF THE BLOODY RANGE

and I had long since lifting my can by this time I was laughing my head off and showing them to use the phone etc.. 

We were in bits anyway wife wanted to go somewhere else but by then I was over the limit. We were going to do some drugs but it wasn't feeling right so we got pissed and tried to find where all these cars had gone....... So we walked about getting more pissed laughing at what we were doing and what might find especially back at our spot.. 

We didn't find anything but there was a car in the car park so I made a point of shining my torch at the car swearing and telling them to fuck off which they did. We settled down to watch a film and then just we were going to sleep there's a fucking knocking on the door lol 

Old sons I went nuts and started shouting at them to get the fuck away and worse than that cos I was pissed I was going out the door naked with my meat cleaver........ As you do...... Just as they drove off.. 

So 

Theres me chopper in hand in a car park at about two o'clock in the morning shouting profanities and the swearing death if anyone else bangs on my door when wife points out the fact that I'm naked.. In a doggers car park.. Hell good job they had all fucked of I could have been attacked by grey haired men in Jaguars, land rovers, mercy etc lol

Anyway tis was a funny old night and the next day we got the hell out of there and went to a proper camp site just to get a good night sleep.. I want to go back cos we didn't do our shrooms and explore the woods but wife has said no to It lol 

Anyway sounds funnier when told after a few drinks lol

Peace. G

Oh BTW wife being wife looked it up and yep it's even on a list of doggers carparks so if you want to know where it is I'll let you know but I won't be there to meet you lol 

[vintagelaureate]

Great story Guy, and on another note congratulations on the baby news! 

Guess what... I did an interview for the BBC/Premier League last week so I'll be completing a terrestrial hat trick soon as I've already done ITV and C4! I was expecting a serious interview and they asked me to dance... 

Edited April 15, 2018 by vintagelaureate

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

On ‎14‎/‎04‎/‎2018 at 9:16 PM, guypjfreak said:

OK so back from seeing dippy on tour it was great. 

Anyway story time. 

We like to wild camp...... Finding place's out of the way and don't pay........ Anyway we found this tiny car park in the forest and settled down to a drink and some grub.. There were two cars in this car park and shortly two bloke's walked out of the woods from different paths and got in there cars. 

Only one of them stayed and Yakked on the phone for a few minutes before he to left.. 

So there I am Sat with a cider when this top of the range Mercedes pulls in and hes looking at me me at him and I lift my can as to be polite.. Anyway he's on the phone and off he goes.. Then it was a Land Rover but not just a land rover but A TOP OF THE RANGE ONE. 

Ten fifteen minutes go by and another car top of the range BMW.. Same thing happens and he's gone. Now this happens five times before I'm calling wife to come take a look plus I was getting a bit nervous lol 

To cut a long story short in the space of an hour and a half about fifteen cars pulled into that place and every one was absolutely TOP OF THE BLOODY RANGE

and I had long since lifting my can by this time I was laughing my head off and showing them to use the phone etc.. 

We were in bits anyway wife wanted to go somewhere else but by then I was over the limit. We were going to do some drugs but it wasn't feeling right so we got pissed and tried to find where all these cars had gone....... So we walked about getting more pissed laughing at what we were doing and what might find especially back at our spot.. 

We didn't find anything but there was a car in the car park so I made a point of shining my torch at the car swearing and telling them to fuck off which they did. We settled down to watch a film and then just we were going to sleep there's a fucking knocking on the door lol 

Old sons I went nuts and started shouting at them to get the fuck away and worse than that cos I was pissed I was going out the door naked with my meat cleaver........ As you do...... Just as they drove off.. 

So 

Theres me chopper in hand in a car park at about two o'clock in the morning shouting profanities and the swearing death if anyone else bangs on my door when wife points out the fact that I'm naked.. In a doggers car park.. Hell good job they had all fucked of I could have been attacked by grey haired men in Jaguars, land rovers, mercy etc lol

Anyway tis was a funny old night and the next day we got the hell out of there and went to a proper camp site just to get a good night sleep.. I want to go back cos we didn't do our shrooms and explore the woods but wife has said no to It lol 

Anyway sounds funnier when told after a few drinks lol

Peace. G

Oh BTW wife being wife looked it up and yep it's even on a list of doggers carparks so if you want to know where it is I'll let you know but I won't be there to meet you lol 

Hello guy,

I've run out of up votes. I've been spending them like they are going out of fashion, of late. Love the story. I'd not be able to produce a meat cleaver and run out. I'd be far too frightened, as would my wife. We both, accidentally, drove in to a dogging area once as well. I was going up a narrow mountain path in the campervan, and couldn't see fuck all in the dark, so thought I'd put my main beams on. I then turned a corner, and there were people running about naked all over the place, and jumping in to all the cars that were strewn around. I then noticed that it was a cul de sac type country road, so I had to do a three pint turn at the end of the road. I'd dropped the lights by now, and drove straight back down the country lane again. 

I deduce from this that if one were actually to want to go to a doggers site, then don't arrive with full beams on, in what is essentially a Ford Transit long wheel based van ie one which looks like it might have a load of coppers in it, in the dark. 

 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

 

PS - I actually have another dogging story, but have to go away for a few minutes, and I'm sure I'll forget to post it when I get back. Ho hum.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

OK. I'm back, and I've remembered the other story. Somehow I once ended up on a campervan thread on the Preloved sale site. How you manage to do that eludes me right now. Anyway, I answered an email asking if anybody like wild camping in lay bye's. Gormlessly, I said I'd not done it before, but wouldn't have no objection to using them. Then came a veiled series of proposals, that me and my mrs should meet up with her and her fella, in a lay bye in the Midlands somewhere. Even more gormlessly, I said that it sounded like a great idea. I then explained the situation to my wife, who confirmed that I was indeed gormless, and also pointed out what they were really asking of us. Oh, the sweet stupidity of innocence.

[Wanderlei]

Summer is coming.

[guypjfreak]

11 hours ago, vintagelaureate said:

Great story Guy, and on another note congratulations on the baby news! 

Guess what... I did an interview for the BBC/Premier League last week so I'll be completing a terrestrial hat trick soon as I've already done ITV and C4! I was expecting a serious interview and they asked me to dance... 

Nice one old son