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NFR NFC - to tide you over the fallow year

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1 hour ago, Skoo said:

Not the scone debacle again!

Scone. Then Jam. Then Cream. 

The thickness of the cream you dollop on top is directly proportional to the thickness of the scone itself. I like a percentage of around 60-70% of the thickness of the scone to be cream.

Here's a fun joke for you all...

What's the fastest dessert?

....you guessed it, SCONE!

 

 

 

 

That joke takes the biscuit

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I asked the maid in a gentle tone

To bring me a buttered scone 

The silly girl has only gone

And brought instead a buttered scone

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Thanks for the concern, everyone, I was ok! Welly and I had gone to see Jezza, got stuck in the bottle neck but managed to see a screen and could hear him well enough. So that was all fine. Then, when he'd finished, the crowd got a bit scary! We were trying to get out, and just shuffled along with everyone else, but there was a few lads not far from us that were being quite aggressive and shovey and then my breathing started to go...! I managed to keep on top of it, Welly was amazing and just held on to me, there was a couple by us and the man made sure we stayed together and gave me some water, the lady was lovely and made sure I was ok. We eventually got out of the bottleneck, people made sure we were ok, (I was, I had managed to keep my breathing on track but knew I might pop at any moment!) and we went and sat in the markety bit. 

A couple next to us asked if we were ok, and gave me some tequila, which definitely helped! After a few minutes we made our way back to camp, and I had a big old howl!!! We just stayed there for a while, in the safety of the tent. We spent the rest of the day together, as I didn't really think it was a good idea for me to go somewhere by myself, and she said she wasnt happy with that either so I went with her to The National and the Foo's and had a great time! 

Welly was amazing the whole time, she had never dealt with a panic attack before, but did everything just perfectly :)

It didn't spoil the afternoon, it was a bit inconvenient but we were ok! 

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9 hours ago, dizzymoo said:

Choir has stopped for the summer, but my bestie and I are continuing the going for a drink part of choir on Monday nights, because someone has to.  I am just back from the pub. 

Jam before cream;  butter not needed with all that dairy.

I like a goat curry but am really not fussed which curry as long as it's not a korma and isn't on my scone.

@Curlygirl's cherry bakewell is far more delicous than the tart of the same name.

@lucyginger sorry you were struggling on the Saturday. I'm lucky enough never to have had a panic attack but some of the crowd crushes this year were downright alarming.  How did your choir thingy go by the way?

Choir thing was good, thanks! A good warm up for the proper concert in a couple of weeks! 

Well done you for carrying on with going to the pub! very wise! :) 

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2 hours ago, Skoo said:

Not the scone debacle again!

Scone. Then Jam. Then Cream. 

The thickness of the cream you dollop on top is directly proportional to the thickness of the scone itself. I like a percentage of around 60-70% of the thickness of the scone to be cream.

Here's a fun joke for you all...

What's the fastest dessert?

....you guessed it, SCONE!

 

 

 

 

I actually changed my normal pronunciation of scone in order to make that joke work.  

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese!

Glad you survived Lucy!  Big kudos @Wellyboot for keeping her safe :)

I did find myself a bit uncomfortable with the crowds this year, but nothing like that.  We didn't even get that close to Foos, but the guys I was with were trying to meet up with some other people so they just kept on ploughing forward and I had to keep up! 

It's weird, I've got no issue with being shoulder to shoulder with people and packed in a bit tight (ooer), but it's when I then look over the top of the crowd a bit and realise just how far it is to be able to get out if I wanted to that I get the heebie jeebies a bit.

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7 minutes ago, Quark said:

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese!

Glad you survived Lucy!  Big kudos @Wellyboot for keeping her safe :)

I did find myself a bit uncomfortable with the crowds this year, but nothing like that.  We didn't even get that close to Foos, but the guys I was with were trying to meet up with some other people so they just kept on ploughing forward and I had to keep up! 

It's weird, I've got no issue with being shoulder to shoulder with people and packed in a bit tight (ooer), but it's when I then look over the top of the crowd a bit and realise just how far it is to be able to get out if I wanted to that I get the heebie jeebies a bit.

I've never really had an issue with crowds, as a short arse, I can't see if I'm in a massive crowd or just a small group!  Haha! I did get crushed in the crossover crowd from Morrissey to U2 in 2011, that wasn't very nice. Then  this year had the panic, but that's all. I'm usually ok! I think it just depends on how you are at the time and what's going on around you. 

I was so lucky to have my lovely friend to look after me, and we were very lucky to have the help of kind strangers :) Or, five minute friends, as we like to call them. 

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1 hour ago, Quark said:

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese!

Fake cheese spreading cheese jokes again I see! Damn you Quark

Best cheese joke is still what kinda cheese would you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone... I'm so sorry.

 

 

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The big question really though is the pronunciation of said circular flour based product.

Is it scone, as in scawn, or scone as in scown? 

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4 minutes ago, frostypaw said:

Fake cheese spreading cheese jokes again I see! Damn you Quark!

Touché! :lol:

Favourite joke ever.... What's acoustic?  It's what Scottish farmers poke their cows with.

I'm here all week :hi:

 

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13 minutes ago, Dave_c said:

The big question really though is the pronunciation of said circular flour based product.

Is it scone, as in scawn, or scone as in scown? 

It rhymes with gone, otherwise the joke wouldn't work.

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5 minutes ago, stuartbert two hats said:

It rhymes with gone, otherwise the joke wouldn't work.

Ah, I didn't even see the joke when I posted that, but I agree on the rhyming with gone.

Since we are telling jokes...

Bought a racing snail the other day, took his shell off to make him more aerodynamic, but it just made him sluggish.

I'll get me coat....

Edited by Dave_c

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1 hour ago, Dave_c said:

Ah, I didn't even see the joke when I posted that, but I agree on the rhyming with gone.

Since we are telling jokes...

Bought a racing snail the other day, took his shell off to make him more aerodynamic, but it just made him sluggish.

I'll get me coat....

My mate (also called Dave, as it happens) tells a looooonnnggg version of this joke. It is looonggg. It is also very funny, well done! 

 

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By christ you wouldn't wanna be on the farm right now. Torrential r*&n, rivers running down the road. I pity the guys still taking down the fence. Now I like to run in the r*&n but there's no way I'm going out in this. Ah well, back to the rowing machine....a little more apt today.

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33 minutes ago, deebeedoobee said:

By christ you wouldn't wanna be on the farm right now. Torrential r*&n, rivers running down the road. I pity the guys still taking down the fence. Now I like to run in the r*&n but there's no way I'm going out in this. Ah well, back to the rowing machine....a little more apt today.

The webcam looks like the apocalypse, akin to the images pre festival last year.

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2 minutes ago, Dave_c said:

The webcam looks like the apocalypse, akin to the images pre festival last year.

Not that bad, that rain was exceptional. Today is bad enough for me to get out of my running kit and put the kettle on.

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31 minutes ago, pilton digger said:

Not that bad, that rain was exceptional. Today is bad enough for me to get out of my running kit and put the kettle on.

Same in Pembrokeshire. We decided to go out for a bit of a drive to get out of the house for a bit and still managed to get soaked. 

Got back to house and went for a booked hour in the hot tub and sauna. Fuck it can't get any more wet. Then sat bubbling away and spotted a fucking wasps nest above us. Safe to say we legged it. 

Really looking forward to Cornwall now. 

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51 minutes ago, H.M.V said:

Same in Pembrokeshire. We decided to go out for a bit of a drive to get out of the house for a bit and still managed to get soaked. 

Got back to house and went for a booked hour in the hot tub and sauna. Fuck it can't get any more wet. Then sat bubbling away and spotted a fucking wasps nest above us. Safe to say we legged it. 

Really looking forward to Cornwall now. 

Hairspray, lighter, job done.

Fucking wasps, pointless little shitwidgets. Hate the c**ts.

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1 hour ago, mr gumby said:

Hairspray, lighter, job done.

Fucking wasps, pointless little shitwidgets. Hate the c**ts.

No fucking chance. Its a wooden building and more importantly its not my fucking problem. No way am i tackling a wasps nest on someone else's property. We'll have our own problems soon enough. 

Ps I was fully expecting finbarr. Lol

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7 hours ago, lucyginger said:

My mate (also called Dave, as it happens) tells a looooonnnggg version of this joke. It is looonggg. It is also very funny, well done! 

 

Why thank you :).

However, how on earth can that joke be made long? It's like stretching out a knock knock joke. I'd love to hear the long version to see what I'm missing!

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