Overheard funnies

[K2SO]

Not an overheard funny, but still an amusing all the same... My girlfriend managed to get lost going from the BBC Introducing Stage to Silver Hayes toilets and back again... She somehow ended up in the Saxon Market.

[redpaprika]

It's 'a thing', apparently

 

http://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/tiana-organic-crystallised-coconut-nectar-60099535

[swede]

A girl walked up to me and my wife after Lorde on the other stage , having just walked through the Glade in our direction and asked us which way the pyramid.

Upon giving her correct directions she looked at me confused and said "no, that's the way to the Glade"

I pointed at the Glade to which she laughed and replied "fucking hell, I've just come from there, I've got no idea where I am at this place !"

 

[Purple aki squat]

Having got a couple of pints from the bar at other stage I tried finding a decent spot for Liam. The kaiser chiefs were still on and Ricky Wilson is doing his "say kaiser....... Chiefs" to the crowd for what seemed an eternity. Two girls stood in front of me asked each other who the band were and eventually got their guides out to check. Made me chuckle.

[guypjfreak]

Young kid first timer Thursday ..... Fuck these loos smell like piss 

Me.......... No shit sherlock wait till Sunday 

[ivan]

2 hours ago, Purple aki squat said:

Having got a couple of pints from the bar at other stage I tried finding a decent spot for Liam. The kaiser chiefs were still on and Ricky Wilson is doing his "say kaiser....... Chiefs" to the crowd for what seemed an eternity. Two girls stood in front of me asked each other who the band were and eventually got their guides out to check. Made me chuckle.

That reminds me of being in John Peel years ago .

A lad had been looking at his guide intently and then asked " who is the band coming on next?  " When I told him he disagreed and said " how do you know ? . 

I pointed to the drum kit which had the bands name emblazoned on it ! 

[airwaves]

On Saturday, July 01, 2017 at 4:37 PM, crocodiles said:

Made me laugh btw wtf is coconut nectar 

I've looked it up now. It is a thing, you can buy it........and it looks like brown sugar.

 

https://www.healthysupplies.co.uk/coconut-sugar-1kg-organic-sussex.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI79malsTr1AIVDbcbCh3digdcEAQYASABEgJMEvD_BwE

 

Who knew?!

[Paula-C]

Watching one of the circus field acts stub out a cigarette on her tongue and a 5-year-old girl on her father's shoulders pipes up with "If I smoked I wouldn't do that" to which the father replied "Glad to hear it sweetheart". Really made me chuckle

[Gobes]

Heard in our campsite a couple of hours after Corbyn spoke at the pyramid. 

"I don't understand why he's here. Why do they have to go and make it all political?"

[dreadwing]

Just before Liam Gallagher we were asking random people, random questions. Such as "chicken or beef?" "Where's the nearest curry house?" "Have you got any cod liver oil?" "Have you seen my cat?" "Did you watch the handball game last night?" "What really grinds your gears?"

2 best responses

us: "Whats your favourite colour?"

guy with the most terrified look on his face "I don't know"

us "Do you own 8 legged freaks on dvd?"

guy "quality"

[shuttlep]

"look at you , you need to think about your life choices buddy"

 

said in an American condescending accent, at me while i was monging out in a chair around the camp fire , it's lucky I like the guy

[Quark]

2 minutes ago, shuttlep said:

"look at you , you need to think about your life choices buddy"

 

said in an American condescending accent, at me while i was monging out in a chair around the camp fire , it's lucky I like the guy

He's got a point though

[shuttlep]

3 minutes ago, Quark said:

He's got a point though

I couldn't agrue

[bexj]

Watching Bo Ningen with a friend.  After about 20 mins he said "I'm  off.  They're all playing different tunes at once. They should have had a meeting to decide what they were going to play"

No, he doesn't "get" psych! 

[pauladam]

Guy in tent next to us came back on the Friday night saying "that's it mate, I'm off drugs, never again...ever" and proceeds to hand me his "tin" saying "keep it, I'm going straight"

morning comes round and I hear him in his tent to his friend "shit mate, I've lost my stash, it's gone man, must have dropped it on way back last night"

being the considerate festival goer I am, I kept quiet for a while... but once we were all up and out I reminded him of the episode and handed him his tin back

to say he was overjoyed was an understatement

[verrymerry]

6 hours ago, dreadwing said:

Just before Liam Gallagher we were asking random people, random questions. Such as "chicken or beef?" "Where's the nearest curry house?" "Have you got any cod liver oil?" "Have you seen my cat?" "Did you watch the handball game last night?" "What really grinds your gears?"

2 best responses

us: "Whats your favourite colour?"

guy with the most terrified look on his face "I don't know"

us "Do you own 8 legged freaks on dvd?"

guy "quality"

A group walked past our camp (near the Mandala bar) and asked us a really random question like "have you got any fish" - now I'm thinking it was you!! 

[gfest2009]

"Don't do drugs!.... Or... Do all the drugs: like I did!"

[The Clearest Blue]

Coming out of Shangri La on Sunday morning about 4am all I caught was 'she was hot though, but you could tell from her face you wouldn't want to go inside her...'

[dizzymoo]

I was walking back to cv east behind a family. The mum was enthusing about Chic,  and the son (around 10-12 yr old) agreed that Chic had been brilliant.. 'but Napalm Death was the best'.

Overheard by OH - young girl: 'can I go to the South East corner Mummy?'  Mum: 'in a couple of years dear, when you're 7'

Now I know I'm definitely too old for the naughty corner.

[robsthell]

While watching Radiohead: "He's got a great voice, but it's just not as good as Guy Garvey's is it?" 

[Ommadawn]

4 minutes ago, robsthell said:

While watching Radiohead: "He's got a great voice, but it's just not as good as Guy Garvey's is it?" 

Well, that's true isn't it? If you could compare voice to soup, Guy Garvey's would be a rich vegetable soup - full of body whereas Thom York's would be more watery with little bits floating in it.

[robsthell]

Not if the way all the Radiohead fans looked at him was anything to go by 

[Aiden]

Walking down the old railway on Friday night there was a group of girls behind us and one says to her mates "did you know that it's a fact that the welsh accent is 90% Indian?"

Me and my friend had different reactions, while I was pissing myself laughing he felt compelled to turn around and ask her where the fuck she'd heard that.

[semmtexx]

53 minutes ago, Aiden said:

Walking down the old railway on Friday night there was a group of girls behind us and one says to her mates "did you know that it's a fact that the welsh accent is 90% Indian?"

Me and my friend had different reactions, while I was pissing myself laughing he felt compelled to turn around and ask her where the fuck she'd heard that.

To be fair if you listen with your eyes closed its sometimes pretty tricky to tell! 

[brandycoke]

Walking along the path at the top of the Pyramid , Bohemian Rhapsody starts to play out of the pa ,two young guys in front of me ,one stops dead in his tracks and looks toward the stage. His mate says to him “Are you all right ?’

He says “Yeah , thought it was Queen coming on, and i didn’t want to miss that’.