Glastonbury Mental Health

[Wellyboot]

Crazyfool is right it's good to talk. (I know this but I'm still very good at shutting myself when I am down and often need pulling out of it) 

But also, I think it can be hard to let people know how much you're hurting sometimes. I know I find that really difficult. Saying you're really sad doesn't fully express the pain you're feeling.

But even if you're struggling to talk to friends and family you can talk to us! About whatever will help you, if that's talking about her, or how you feel or something completely different. 

Sending you love x

[funkychick2007]

gilgamesh69
Take comfort tht the moments you shared together will have made her feel special. 

 

[Curlygirl]

@Gilgamesh69 my sincere condolences to you. Not going to lie, I've had a cry with you tonight reading your story. You are very within your rights to feel heartbroken and hurt, you had hopes for the future with this girl and they have been cruelly taken away from you. As Carlosj says... If you don't know what to do, do nothing. Only you can determine how long your grief will last. You will come out of the other side and one day you will realise that she was not the only one that can make you happy and feel alive. Much love to you pet xx

[guypjfreak]

On 3/31/2020 at 7:39 PM, Gilgamesh69 said:

Buckle up dudes, it's time for a story. I posted a brief version of this the other day but it lacked depth.

Firstly, I'll admit that for the past few years I have been heartbroken, although the reasons why are a story for another time. it hurt me greatly, and changed me as a person. I was once a young lad filled with hopes and dreams, but this turned me into a bitter miserable bastard. I had a few dates and flings but nothing helped me. It damaged my confidence a lot and eventually I just gave up, thought I should just accept that I'll probably die alone.

 

Then I went to a festival last year. I had intended to go with friends but it sold out before they could get tickets, so I joined a group for folks going solo. Upon arrival, one of the girls in the group came to meet me, to help me with my luggage and finding the campsite. She was fucking gorgeous. We talked and with everything she said, I had more questions, she was fascinating. She seemed like such a lovely girl and even without any alcohol, I was starting to feel butterflies. We hung out together for a few hours and then met the the rest of the group, who were also lovely. We spent the rest of the festival together and honestly it was one of the happiest weeks I've had in a long time.

 

She was really sweet. On the first night we were talking and she said something like "I have social anxiety and I usually have to get drunk and to deal with it. But I feel really comfortable around you, like I could be sobre and still have an amazing time with you". It was heartwarming. We watched the sunset and danced together, it was great. It felt like something was developing between us and for the first time in years... I felt hopeful.

 

The festival ended but we stayed in touch. A few months later I went to see her and we had a really nice time. I didn't want to rush things because that's a mistake I've made in the past, and I thought it would be nicer to just continue as we are and then hopefully something would happen. Let it happen naturally, yknow. We also planned to do more festivals and trips together. Maybe we weren't going to get together, but I still valued her as a friend.

 

But then last week, I was told she has passed away. Twenty three years old. I am devastated. I've wept every day. I try to distract myself but it doesn't work. As soon as I turn everything off and just think, I get consumed by misery. Losing anyone is hard , but to lose someone so young and so beautiful is fucking painful. 

 

I really don't know what to do. I've been having trouble sleeping because I just lay in bed, with that hole in my heart growing, unable to sleep. So I just drink until I fall asleep. I'm trying to find closure but  it's not easy with everything else going on.

 

It hurts

FUBAR 

Stay strong old son 

[carlosj]

2 hours ago, Gilgamesh69 said:

Hey, thanks for the support everyone x

Unfortunately I live alone, and don't really know anybody nearby that I could go for a walk and talk with. My "close" friends and family know I've lost someone but other than offering condolences, they haven't really tried to help out. Have tried to express that I'm hurt by the loss but they've just ignored it. Bastards.

From reading between the lines; I think she took her own life. That makes it worse because now I've got all these thoughts telling me I should have reached out to her, should have talked to her more. Obviously from a logical perspective I know that it's not my fault, but that doesn't stop me thinking that way.

I spoke to a mutual friend yesterday, her best friend. I've donated some money to help with funeral costs and to return her home. That helped me a little bit. She said I should come visit her resting place someday. It's a remote village in the Arctic circle so will be quite difficult to get to, but I will do it. 

 

 

Nobody can get your perspective, you call your family bastards but they may want to avoid dealing with your grief. I lost my first wife, and my uncle said at the service that some people wouldn't be able to deal with that, and might cross over the street to avoid me. Take care of yourself but also of others as they can't feel as you do. If it is suicide then no one could have changed that if it's what she wanted. Sorry to be blunt x

[Chawk]

Hey @Gilgamesh69, i just read your posts. Sorry to hear about the awful situation. How're things now? Hope ok. 

[tarw]

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but I didn’t want to start a new one.

Last year my son’s housemate/best mate/inspiration took his own life.  

This affected my son and all his friends deeply and made them question everything.

They are trying to raise some money to send their friends ashes to Fuji and remember the times that they had with him by playing a 24hour gaming marathon.  

Please look in on their game and give them encouragement.

 

https://creatorscorner.co.uk/gamefest.html

[guypjfreak]

Tried to watch the festival on TV.. Can't do it.. As soon as I see the crowds I have massive panic attack.. 

Owell 

Just have to be there next year lol 

[Crazyfool01]

A quick bump of this one ... seen quite a few posts of late of people struggling with a few things and life in general being more than a complete ass ... people don’t see quite the numbers of other people that might be struggling ... by the numbers of posts in this thread you can see you are not alone ... 

[Wellyboot]

9 minutes ago, crazyfool1 said:

A quick bump of this one ... seen quite a few posts of late of people struggling with a few things and life in general being more than a complete ass ... people don’t see quite the numbers of other people that might be struggling ... by the numbers of posts in this thread you can see you are not alone ... 

and to add to that.. if anyone ever needs anyone to talk to let me know x

[Ryan1984]

Someone very close to me is suffering due to a horrible work situation more than all of ‘this’ and I’m trying my best to listen/talk openly with them about it/start a few projects. Any advice on the best ways of helping loved ones?

[Wellyboot]

45 minutes ago, Ryan1984 said:

Someone very close to me is suffering due to a horrible work situation more than all of ‘this’ and I’m trying my best to listen/talk openly with them about it/start a few projects. Any advice on the best ways of helping loved ones?

That's all you can do, just be there for them. It's really hard at the moment cos usually no matter how shitty things are with work or anything else really you usually have something to look forward to and to focus on and that tends to help. 

But you just being there to talk thru it, or to talk about anything except that if that's what they need, that will help. 

Some of the lovely people on here will probably have some suggestions for you.. but to me, just being there and listening and talking is the best thing you can do for someone. And good on you for being there 

[Crazyfool01]

51 minutes ago, Ryan1984 said:

Someone very close to me is suffering due to a horrible work situation more than all of ‘this’ and I’m trying my best to listen/talk openly with them about it/start a few projects. Any advice on the best ways of helping loved ones?

in addition to @Wellyboot if its something you find hard discussing or talking about a friendly pointing them in the direction of some of the other help thats available might be an idea 

[Ryan1984]

Thanks for the tips.

They are in a pretty tough work situation on top of all ‘this’ and although we are being good/following the guidelines, flaky as they may be, we are seeing so many close to us who are not. I think that’s getting to them a lot and possibly not having anything to look forward to - there’s normally a gig, show, holiday or festival but it doesn’t feel like that will happen this side of Christmas.

[Fraser Caygill]

Hi I'm Fraser and in the drummer in a band called Delta 7 may be of interest to some people this is a film about our band for people with different abilities and trying to support each other and try to help raise Mental health awareness and support each others as best we can through a very difficult time here is the link below https://www.vice.com/en/article/v7453x/watch-vice-documentary-delta-7

[guypjfreak]

Top of the range old son.... You can see how much Tom ment to you all.. Great 1st post 

[funkychick2007]

Welcome to the forum! @Fraser CaygillVery powerful!! 
Recognising other peoples different abilities and strengths is motivating and inspiring!! 
this inspired me yesterday supported by Mr Elvis.

https://www.itv.com/news/westcountry/2020-10-08/somerset-rapper-opens-studio-for-people-who-have-disabilities-to-make-music

 

 

[Crazyfool01]

World Mental Health day today .... and struggles are very real for lots in these uncertain times .... `Dont forget you arent alone ... and if anyone needs someone to chat to please DM me ..... or use the more professional services that are available ..

[funkychick2007]

16 hours ago, funkychick2007 said:

Welcome to the forum! @Fraser CaygillVery powerful!! 
Recognising other peoples different abilities and strengths is motivating and inspiring!! 
this inspired me yesterday supported by Mr Elvis.

https://www.itv.com/news/westcountry/2020-10-08/somerset-rapper-opens-studio-for-people-who-have-disabilities-to-make-music

 

 

Just noticed my mistake!! Really need to get my glasses renewed appointment booked for Thursday!!! Probably won’t help the dyslexia though! 🤣

[guypjfreak]

Went out to the forest yesterday.. Just me and the wife.. Fucking had massive panic attack Sunday morning... Its like its all getting worse.... Doesn't help that there is no help at the moment.. I've taken to a few groups and you lot lol.... I'm sure there's alot of people out there at the moment who are going through the mill... I've been spinning around in it for over 15 years now.... Still amazes me how I can stay up all night panicking about nothing but the panic... 

Still........ 

[funkychick2007]

@guypjfreak you have had a lot to deal with lately! Give yourself a bit of a break and some TLC! Keep talking to people and watching Paw Patrol with Baby Eliza! 
Forests can be funny places at the best of times beautiful but sometimes the trees proper scare me! 

[guypjfreak]

23 hours ago, funkychick2007 said:

@guypjfreak you have had a lot to deal with lately! Give yourself a bit of a break and some TLC! Keep talking to people and watching Paw Patrol with Baby Eliza! 
Forests can be funny places at the best of times beautiful but sometimes the trees proper scare me! 

Thanks old son... Lady but not old... .. I'm going to be off to Cerne Giant this weekend to scatter my friends ashes on his knob... Now this should be fun.. Lol 

[MrZigster]

I would be grateful, if it's not to personal or painful, if people on here could share their experiences of taking antidepressants, good or bad.

I've been told I'm anxious and depressed and have been offered them. 

I'm extremely apprehensive. No amount of pills or talking to people is going to change the thing that is making me anxious and depressed, so is it really worth the possible side effects (for example,feeling even shittier).

Thanks in advance.

[jimmillen]

31 minutes ago, MrZigster said:

I would be grateful, if it's not to personal or painful, if people on here could share their experiences of taking antidepressants, good or bad.

I've been told I'm anxious and depressed and have been offered them. 

I'm extremely apprehensive. No amount of pills or talking to people is going to change the thing that is making me anxious and depressed, so is it really worth the possible side effects (for example,feeling even shittier).

Thanks in advance.

I’ve taken a low dose of Citalopram for about 18 months now. It’s not been any kind of miracle cure, but helps a bit. I’d say it doesn’t stop me going downhill, but makes the depths less deep… if that makes any sense. 

I’ve honestly not noticed any appreciable side effects. I think I’m a little lucky in that the Citalopram worked for me and I’ve not needed to try others. From everything I’ve read it’s really important you work with your GP and/or therapist to find something right for you and don’t just settle for the first option if it isn’t working for you.

I had fairly intense therapy around the time I started taking it, which also helped.

Hope that’s of some help FWIW - hang on in there, anxiety & depression really truly sucks. 

[dccool]

 

1 hour ago, MrZigster said:

I would be grateful, if it's not to personal or painful, if people on here could share their experiences of taking antidepressants, good or bad.

I've been told I'm anxious and depressed and have been offered them. 

I'm extremely apprehensive. No amount of pills or talking to people is going to change the thing that is making me anxious and depressed, so is it really worth the possible side effects (for example,feeling even shittier).

Thanks in advance.

I was prescribed Fluoxetine around the end of 2019 and was taking a lowish dose for around a year. Personally I had no noticeable side effects even though the GP said they could and more than likely would make me feel worse for a while (I still don't understand why that could happen when essentially I'm taking an 'upper').

I ended up taking myself off them as I felt they weren't really helping and I've still got 6 months worth in the cupboard.

Everyone's different and I know some people that have been on them for years they just didn't sort my depression and paranoia out. I have a handful of friends that have been on some form of antidepressants and as far as I'm aware none of them have had any serious side effects.

I did go through some therapy sessions which definitely helped my situation although it did take me a while to find a decent therapist or one which I felt I could really open up to.

The one thing that's really helped me and completely turned my outlook on life around is exercise. Personally I think GPs should give out gym memberships rather than antidepressants!

There's lots of ways to address or over come mental health issues other than antidepressants. I'm not against taking them at all but there are other options and it's worth trying out all of them that are available to you until you find one or a combination of a couple that help you out.

All the best.