Brit Awards 2017

[Woffy]

The 37th Annual Brit Awards is being held at the O2 in London on 22 February 2017. 

Will we get any clues / hints / announcements regarding Glastonbury Festival 2017?

Who'll win the 'coveted' awards in each category and will the eFestivals Community agree?

What are your predictions?

 

The Nominees are as follows:

 

British Male Artist:

Craig David

David Bowie

Kano

Michael Kiwanuka

Skepta

 

British Female Artist:

Anohni

Ellie Goulding

Emeli Sandé

Lianne La Havas

Nao

 

British Group:

The 1975

Bastille

Biffy Clyro

Little Mix

Radiohead

 

International Group:

A Tribe Called Quest

Drake and Future

Kings of Leon

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Twenty One Pilots

 

British Breakthrough Act:

Anne-Marie

Blossoms

Rag'n'Bone Man

Skepta

Stormzy

 

Critics' Choice Award
(presented by Emeli Sandé):

Rag'n'Bone Man

Anne-Marie

Dua Lipa

 

MasterCard British Album of the Year:

The 1975 – I Like It When You Sleep, for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It

David Bowie – Blackstar

Kano – Made in the Manor

Michael Kiwanuka – Love & Hate

Skepta – Konnichiwa

 

British Single of the Year:

Alan Walker – "Faded"

Calum Scott - "Dancing On My Own"

Calvin Harris featuring Rihanna – "This Is What You Came For"

Clean Bandit featuring Sean Paul & Anne-Marie – "Rockabye"

Coldplay – "Hymn for the Weekend"

James Arthur – "Say You Won't Let Go"

Jonas Blue featuring Dakota – "Fast Car"

Little Mix – "Shout Out to My Ex"

Tinie Tempah featuring Zara Larsson – "Girls Like"

ZAYN – "Pillowtalk"

 

International Male Solo Artist:

Bon Iver

Bruno Mars

Drake

Leonard Cohen

The Weeknd

 

International Female Solo Artist:

Beyoncé

Christine and the Queens

Rihanna

Sia

Solange

 

British Producer of the Year:

TBA

 

British Video:

Adele – "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)"

Clean Bandit featuring Sean Paul & Anne-Marie – "Rockabye"

Coldplay – "Hymn for the Weekend"

James Arthur – "Say You Won't Let Go"

Little Mix featuring Sean Paul – "Hair"

One Direction – "History"

ZAYN – "Pillowtalk"

Jonas Blue featuring Dakota – "Fast Car" (Eliminated on 20 January 2017)

Calvin Harris featuring Rihanna – "This Is What You Came For" (Eliminated on 27 January 2017)

Tinie Tempah featuring Zara Larsson – "Girls Like" (Eliminated on 3 February 2017)

 

BRITs Global Success:

TBA

 

BRITs Massive c**t / Crimes Against Humility Award (brought to you by Amnesty International / The Court of Human Rights, Strasbourg / Kleenex Sanitising HandGel):

Robbie Williams

 

eFestivals Members' Most Popular Performance of the Night:

2016 Winner - Little Mix

[Gnomicide]

British Male Artist:

David Bowie

 

British Female Artist:

All shite

 

British Group:

All shite

 

International Group:

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

 

British Breakthrough Act:

Rag'n'Bone Man

 

Critics' Choice Award
(presented by Emeli Sandé):

Rag'n'Bone Man

 

MasterCard British Album of the Year:

Michael Kiwanuka – Love & Hate

 

British Single of the Year:

All shite

 

International Male Solo Artist:

Leonard Cohen

 

International Female Solo Artist:

All shite

 

British Producer of the Year:

Woffy

 

British Video:

All shite

 

BRITs Global Success:

Scruffy

 

BRITs Massive c**t / Crimes Against Humility Award (brought to you by Amnesty International / The Court of Human Rights, Strasbourg / Kleenex Sanitising HandGel):

Robbie Williams

 

eFestivals Members' Most Popular Performance of the Night:

2017 - Anyone who's not dead

[Supernintendo Chalmers]

Christ on crutches, look at the state of the best British song nominees

[Supernintendo Chalmers]

Pablo Honey's got to be in with a shout somewhere?

[jparx]

What's wrong with sanitising hand gel? 

Bon Iver a solo act - lol. Best of luck to Mr. Iver.

[Purple aki squat]

I'm not a betting man but I would like to warn fellow efest readers not to place any of their hard earned money on Nick Cave and the bad seeds.

 

I do not have inside information that they won't win, but have a feeling they may be pipped to it.

 

 

[SwedgeAntilles]

I tried to do my choices and depressed myself. 

[Comfy Bean]

Credit due to Mr Woffy for the detail and effort involved in the thread opener here but can't we just get loaded and take the piss out of the evening's proceedings like every other year:-)

Ragnbone man will win something.

[Amy Lawn]

I hope you're all ready for the sheer magnitude of sneers we'll be throwing out at the tragic and blatant efforts for the Brits to shoehorn themselves into the zeitgeist, like that English teacher who wears a Topman cardigan and skinny tie and gels his hair and asks the class if they've heard this sick new grime MC he's into. Mate, you're 40 years of age, stop this shit, it's painful to watch. Who's presenting this year? The Ant and Dec type safe for middle England ITV twat trying to pretend they possess any more music critiquing skills than a dog, even though the only descriptors they know are "wow", "amazing" and "talented", is always the most painful part. 

[Alex DeLarge]

"Next up, an amazing new artist who is being tipped by all of the critics this year. Please, put your hands together for your BRIT's critics choice award winner 2016- a bloke with a beard."

[rubenz]

Whoever that is that's trying to sneak in by covering a robyn banger in the form of dancing on my own should get disqualified asap 

[Acid_Haze]

My choices would be

British Male Artist:

David Bowie

 

British Female Artist:

Anohni

 

British Group:

Radiohead

 

International Group:

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

 

British Breakthrough Act:

Skepta

 

Critics' Choice Award
(presented by Emeli Sandé):

Dua Lipa

 

MasterCard British Album of the Year:

David Bowie – Blackstar

 

British Single of the Year:

they're all awful

 

International Male Solo Artist:

Bon Iver

 

International Female Solo Artist:

Solange

 

British Producer of the Year:

TBA

 

British Video:

they're all terrible

[Rose-Colored Boy]

8 hours ago, GETOFFAMYLAWN said:

I hope you're all ready for the sheer magnitude of sneers we'll be throwing out at the tragic and blatant efforts for the Brits to shoehorn themselves into the zeitgeist, like that English teacher who wears a Topman cardigan and skinny tie and gels his hair and asks the class if they've heard this sick new grime MC he's into. Mate, you're 40 years of age, stop this shit, it's painful to watch. Who's presenting this year? The Ant and Dec type safe for middle England ITV twat trying to pretend they possess any more music critiquing skills than a dog, even though the only descriptors they know are "wow", "amazing" and "talented", is always the most painful part. 

Was supposed to be Buble but Emma Willis has stepped in to cover it just like every other TV show these days #NewDavina

[Rose-Colored Boy]

8 hours ago, Alex DeLarge said:

"Next up, an amazing new artist who is being tipped by all of the critics this year. Please, put your hands together for your BRIT's critics choice award winner 2016- a bloke with a beard."

They always take the piss with this category but giving the Critics Choice award to someone also nominated in Best Breakthrough is a new low

[Rose-Colored Boy]

British Male Artist:

Skepta

 

British Female Artist:

Emeli Sandé - but this category is appalling. Poor Laura Mvula and others overlooked in favour of people who didn't even release anything last year 

British Group:

The 1975

 

International Group:

Drake and Future

 

British Breakthrough Act:

Skepta

 

Critics' Choice Award
(presented by Emeli Sandé):

Rag'n'Bone Man

 

MasterCard British Album of the Year:

Bowie - Blackstar

 

British Single of the Year:

Clean Bandit featuring Sean Paul & Anne-Marie – "Rockabye" - be happy with anything as long as it isn't Calum Scott tbh

 

International Male Solo Artist:

Drake - would be quite something for someone to win 'Best Group' and 'Best Solo Act' in the same ceremony but whatever

 

International Female Solo Artist:

Beyoncé

 

British Producer of the Year:

TBA

 

British Video:

One Direction – "History" - this is a public vote so 1D will win despite this song being released in 2015 ffs

 

BRITs Global Success:

Nigel Farage

 

[brettredmayne]

My favourite thread of the year, just because Neil has to sit and go through 20 pages of it the next day 

[nikkic]

I haven't heard of any of those singles. Not one. 

As far as winners. Bowie will win and hope Skepta does too, deserves it. 

Would also love Radiohead, NAO and Christine and The Queens to win too but it won't happen. 

[Gnomicide]

29 minutes ago, Zac Quinn said:

Was supposed to be Buble but Emma Willis has stepped in to cover it just like every other TV show these days #NewDavina

The Willis is going to have to put in a lot of effort to becomes one tenth as annoying as #OldDavina 

[Rose-Colored Boy]

4 minutes ago, Gnomicide said:

The Willis is going to have to put in a lot of effort to becomes one tenth as annoying as #OldDavina 

it now transpires she's doing it with Dermot, so he can provide the cringe

[Gnomicide]

Do you think they'll let him sing again?

[Rose-Colored Boy]

9 minutes ago, Gnomicide said:

Do you think they'll let him sing again?

apparently Katy Perry is debating launching her new album with a performance at this so maybe they could duet, seeing as their singing abilities are more or less equal

[Supernintendo Chalmers]

25 minutes ago, Zac Quinn said:

it now transpires she's doing it with Dermot, so he can provide the cringe

 

[amfy]

59 minutes ago, nikkic said:

I haven't heard of any of those singles. Not one.  

It is even worse for me as I am pretty sure I have heard all of them but they are completely indistiguishable from one another (apart from the James Arthur one which I know has a romantic line about holding a girl's hair back while she is sick)

[Rose-Colored Boy]

1 minute ago, amfy said:

It is even worse for me as I am pretty sure I have heard all of them but they are completely indistiguishable from one another (apart from the James Arthur one which I know has a romantic line about holding a girl's hair back while she is sick)

the Coldplay/Clean Bandit/Little Mix/Zayn numbers are pretty decent as far as modern chart fare goes. The other six are some of the worst pop songs in years though.

[Rose-Colored Boy]

i mean some of Tine Tempah's early stuff is absolutely bangin' but what the living fuck is this half-arsed objectifying bollocks

also covers should be ineligible to win awards for 'Best Song' even if they aren't as bad as this: