Overheard funnies

[The Clearest Blue]

Walking out of the Pyramid field up towards the band stand, two blokes walked past me and all I caught of their conversation was: ... I mean on an average day my arse hair is pretty matted but ...' I laughed for ages after hearing that!

[MilkyJoe]

"Yeah, I saw a lot of snow penises in Canada"

 

I spent ages trying to work out might have preceded that statement.

Edited August 4, 2016 by MilkyJoe

[sweetsounding]

Absolute shameless bump, anyone have any more of these, perfect for getting us in the glasto spirit!? 

[char90]

Back in 2013 we walked past a tent playing Bob Marley off the sound system and a girl went 'oh wow! I had no idea he was playing!' 

[Glastocat]

2010 we were sitting down from the stone circle when a lad with quite a posh accent comes up to my mate and says "excuse me, you don't happen to have a spare balloon do you."

My mate (who had a little alcohol and a few spliff) bursts out laughing in the poor lads face and says "a fuckin balloon. Why the hell would I have a balloon, never mind a spare one." Our whole group burst out laughing totally perplexed why someone would ask to borrow a balloon.

About an hour later we saw someone using one to take laughing gas and all become clear. 

[maclauk]

2007 : My mate has spent the day in a kilt, dressed commando. At the end of the day getting ready for bed he falls over. Cue much cursing and the immortal line "Aww no, I've got mud in my arsehole".

Edited April 17, 2017 by maclauk
Typo

[Tootts]

Years ago, maybe 2000? watching Travis, a couple in front of us having a romantic moment when an old punk comes staggering past, stops in disgust and shouts at the top of his voice 'ugh! look at those c**ts snogging to Travis' then staggers off. Still makes me laugh!

[Quark]

Probably mentioned it previously, but I still loved the bloke who was basically shepherding his drunk mate finally losing his rag and shouting "have you lost your fucking trousers again?" at him.

[Glastocat]

6 minutes ago, Quark said:

Probably mentioned it previously, but I still loved the bloke who was basically shepherding his drunk mate finally losing his rag and shouting "have you lost your fucking trousers again?" at him.

Is this the same lad who was sitting on the bench or do you have an uncanny knack of bumping into people with no trousers on.

[Quark]

6 minutes ago, Glastocat said:

Is this the same lad who was sitting on the bench or do you have an uncanny knack of bumping into people with no trousers on.

Hey, they find me!!

Same lad though

[guypjfreak]

We've all heard it but it always makes me smile.. 

Two newbies walking into the pyramid field.. One turns to tother... 

So THATS the pyramid stage...

 

No shit sherlock Init 

[nikkic]

In 2015 we had to arrive late on Thursday for various reasons. 

We walk through Gate A at about midnight, we see a really pissed guy say to the stewards "Where abouts is Shangri La?". 

[philipsteak]

33 minutes ago, nikkic said:

In 2015 we had to arrive late on Thursday for various reasons. 

We walk through Gate A at about midnight, we see a really pissed guy say to the stewards "Where abouts is Shangri La?". 

I volunteer as a steward on the gates. Variations of this are so common. They've usually walked for hours to get as far from where they are supposed to be as is possible. Thank jeebus for them though. Them and they're equally spangled brothers and sisters do help the long night shifts pass that little bit quicker

[Sasperella]

"At least we can console ourselves with the fact that everyone we've met here voted to stay in. Apart from that awful girl...the one who weed on my welly during Muse"

[Deadendfriends8]

On ‎28‎/‎06‎/‎2016 at 9:29 PM, Toffee Crisp said:

We had a House of Stark flag next to our tents. At around 4am one morning a group of young lads walking past screamed 'THE NORTH REMEMBERS!!!!!" and proceeded to chant the game of thrones theme tune, dancing around our tents with the utmost joy. It was so brilliant I didn't mind being woken up so dramatically. 

Big ground?!?! This could have been us?

[H.M.V]

12 hours ago, Tootts said:

Years ago, maybe 2000? watching Travis, a couple in front of us having a romantic moment when an old punk comes staggering past, stops in disgust and shouts at the top of his voice 'ugh! look at those c**ts snogging to Travis' then staggers off. Still makes me laugh!

@Mardy???

[The Clearest Blue]

Thought I'd give this a bump, it's always one of my favourite threads!

[Curlygirl]

13 minutes ago, The Clearest Blue said:

Thought I'd give this a bump, it's always one of my favourite threads!

Mine too!! I think I'll start at the beginning again. Thanx for bumping 

[The Clearest Blue]

16 minutes ago, Curlygirl said:

Mine too!! I think I'll start at the beginning again. Thanx for bumping 

No worries, enjoy! Can't wait to overhear even more funnies this year, I come out with some right crap myself after some of the heavier nights.

[alibear]

2013 - at the Other Stage watching Beady Eye making an absolute hash of (What's the Story) Morning Glory.

Woman walking past me turns around to her friend and says: "Who's this? An Oasis tribute band?" 

[PretentiousThinkpiece]

Two (obviously white) blokes hotboxing their tent doing a fucking perfect rendition of Straight Outta Compton was great

On the morning after the referendum

Girl: Where you been?

Guy: Went for a piss didn't i?

Girl: What's it like out there?

Guy: Well people have already degenerated to a tribal existence and the horizon is on fire. Also looks like it might rain a bit later.

[MilkyJoe]

1 hour ago, PretentiousThinkpiece said:

Two (obviously white) blokes hotboxing their tent doing a fucking perfect rendition of Straight Outta Compton was great

On the morning after the referendum

Girl: Where you been?

Guy: Went for a piss didn't i?

Girl: What's it like out there?

Guy: Well people have already degenerated to a tribal existence and the horizon is on fire. Also looks like it might rain a bit later.

Same morning after the reforendum waking up to the sound of rain on the tent I heard. Fucking hell, it wasn't raining when we were in Europe!

[merago]

8 hours ago, PretentiousThinkpiece said:

On the morning after the referendum

Girl: Where you been?

Guy: Went for a piss didn't i?

Girl: What's it like out there?

Guy: Well people have already degenerated to a tribal existence and the horizon is on fire. Also looks like it might rain a bit later.

Comedy genius!  I'd have had to go shake his hand (hoping he'd anti-bac'ed after his piss)

[MetaKate]

I'm glad no one saw me stuck to my knees in a mud pit tripping balls telling my friends "it's fine. I'm fine. Just keep going." About 20 people watched and had a laugh before a couple of guys air lifted me out.  I was pretty calm but genuinely thought there was no possible way to get out. 

[pauladam]

2 hours ago, MetaKate said:

I'm glad no one saw me stuck to my knees in a mud pit tripping balls telling my friends "it's fine. I'm fine. Just keep going." About 20 people watched and had a laugh before a couple of guys air lifted me out.  I was pretty calm but genuinely thought there was no possible way to get out. 

Was this at the back of the Other stage field per chance?