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Overheard funnies


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On 28/06/2016 at 9:39 PM, pentura said:

We had a Stark flag next to ours and someone was screaming "Kill the white walkers" in the middle of th night aswell!

You weren't up in Dairy ground were you?

We had a House Bolton flag, starting to think it was a good thing we were tucked away in Darble or we may have been attacked :)

 

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On 29 June 2016 at 6:20 PM, HalfAnIdiot said:

Not overheard but seen:

A guy sat on a chair outside his tent (opposite Beat Hotel) meticlously cleaning (actually polishing) his Hunter wellies with wet-wipes during the Skepta set. The wet wipes piling up around him.

Sigh, what has Glastonbury come to?

That reminds me of a guy I spotted near Arcadia in 2014, it was particularly muddy one night and I was waiting for my group to come out the toilets. 

This guy spent ages cleaning his wellies at a water point with a hose, making sure he got every bit of mud off, once clean he put them back on and walked off back into the thick mud. 

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On realising we were going to have to trek all the way back to the Gate A lock-up from Arcadia to pick up supplies/cash my wife responded with "Dont worry, there's a lock-up over here we can get it from"

 

Cue much laughter and piss taking from the rest of the group.

Edited by richy24
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On 28/06/2016 at 6:28 PM, flashingimages said:

Waking up on the Saturday morning I overheard the guy in the tent next to us talking to his friend.

"yeah last night I watched a bit of Muse, then just came back to the tent and watched some Glastonbury on BBC Iplayer'

I couldn't believe it!

We overheard someone saying similar to this too! Camped in Oxlyers?

Also, it feels like this year was the year for people not knowing the name of places on the site. Had one girl asking me where District 9 was and another asking for directions to "The Crows Feet"

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Not overly funny but it got us each time nonetheless! The lads camped next to us shouting "lets go champ" repeatedly before they went anywhere and just at random times of the day. Made us laugh each time :) 

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3 hours ago, richy24 said:

On realising we were going to have to trek all the way back to the Gate A lock-up from Arcadia to pick up supplies/cash my wife responded with "Dont worry, there's a lock-up over here we can get it from"

 

Cue much laughter and piss taking from the rest of the group.

Is she a gamer?  I've never said that, but I have thought it and walked towards the nearest lockup for a few seconds before turning around!

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1 hour ago, stuartbert two hats said:

Is she a gamer?  I've never said that, but I have thought it and walked towards the nearest lockup for a few seconds before turning around!

No definitely not a gamer - just massively lacking in sleep!

To be fair it was Sunday and she knew she'd made a clanger as soon as she said it!

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6 hours ago, richy24 said:

On realising we were going to have to trek all the way back to the Gate A lock-up from Arcadia to pick up supplies/cash my wife responded with "Dont worry, there's a lock-up over here we can get it from"

 

Cue much laughter and piss taking from the rest of the group.

I don't know why but I have the same thought process about lock ups constantly while there....then my brain kicks in and I realise how dozy I'm being. Never said it out loud though!

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8 hours ago, Joshuwarr said:

Also, it feels like this year was the year for people not knowing the name of places on the site. Had one girl asking me where District 9 was and another asking for directions to "The Crows Feet"

Yeah at one point I was asked the way to Avalon "which is the new name for West Holts". I was able to point them down a path that took them to both so hopefully she got where she wanted!

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In 2015, a mate camped with us (efestival's very own cityboy75) was having a bit of a torrid time at one point. His tent collapsed, his phone broke and whilst bemoaning his luck he announced "I even bought some ice, but it's f*cking water now"

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On 30 June 2016 at 3:36 PM, Tilted said:

Guy camped next us appeared early hours with one of those flashing Coldplay wristbands on.

We invited him to pull a chair over and join us, on doing so it was highly apparent that he'd had a wee dabble of something.

My missus proceeded to tell him in a joking manner that she believed they there was some sinister motive to said wristbands, and that Coldplay where probably tracking him. 

He then appeared to become slightly paranoid, retiring to his tent. About ten minutes later we heard him from his tent saying "Chris, if you can hear me, turn this thing off mate"

That is brilliant. Crying here.

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Me and a mate had a good chat toa fella who had lost his dinosaur tail.

i thenwent into detail about the kind of tail i was after ( a small skinny 1 according to my mate) 

it was only the next day i realised you could actually buy dinosaur tails and i was infact the eejit in that conversation, not the fella.

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On ‎05‎/‎07‎/‎2016 at 9:29 PM, holmz said:

In 2015, a mate camped with us (efestival's very own cityboy75) was having a bit of a torrid time at one point. His tent collapsed, his phone broke and whilst bemoaning his luck he announced "I even bought some ice, but it's f*cking water now"

I seem to remember a forum conversation years back about if it was possible to buy ice at Glastonbury ?.

 

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Overheard while in q for the bar Fri

 

woman - its a shame we're out of the EU, I mean what will happen if we go to war?

Man - go to war?

Woman - yeah the EU protect everyone

Man - EU? Dont you mean the UN? You do know what we were voting for right?

she then went silent 

 

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1 hour ago, at_derby77 said:

Overheard while in q for the bar Fri

 

woman - its a shame we're out of the EU, I mean what will happen if we go to war?

Man - go to war?

Woman - yeah the EU protect everyone

Man - EU? Dont you mean the UN? You do know what we were voting for right?

she then went silent 

 

She's not that far off the truth even if she did get the two mixed up.  It might seem unthinkable now, but a big motivation behind economic integration was to make war in Europe less likely.

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Older, quite posh looking couple by the Meeting Point loos on Sunday afternoon.  Woman declared loudly, I've had enough of this f***ing weather, it's ruining my trip. I was desperate to ask what type of trip she was referring to.

Compost loos in Kidzfield, heard a woman in the next cublicle say, just wait outside xxxx we won't be a minute, followed by a bloke saying, so have we got time for a blow job then!!!

 

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 Sat in the bread and roses on weds afternoon having a swift one on the way to meet friends and we sat by 4 fellas in their 40s in deep conversation. OH goes outside for a smoke so I started to listen to what they were saying. 

One said that he'd just spoken to his daughter at home and had promised to take her to see Finding Dory on his return as a treat for being good for her grandparents. So for 5 minutes the fellas went into great detail how good animated films were. Fella who had spoken to daughter then said UP had to be his favourite due to the interaction between the main characters so another said well I liked cloudy with a chance of meatballs and it wasn't given the credit it deserved. To which UP man said nah that's bollox it's way too far fetched. 

By this point I was crying.

In response he got "ok mate it might not be your thing but as for being far fetched how about a load of balloons floating off with some old guys house and a talking dog you've obviously done all your gear too soon if you believe that sh!t"

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Not so much overheard as spotted.  And not so much funny as disturbing.

Availaing myself of the longdrops between Pyramid and JP, I spotted a discarded wooden fork on the floor of the cubicle.  Which begs the question, who the fuck takes their lunch into a longdrop?

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not an overheard, it was in our group

My daughter went with new fella this year

Before they met up with us I prompted a pal (big chap in his early sixties) that I would introduce him to new fella as a Doctor of Psychology.

Me - new fella this is big chap, I've asked him to keep an eye on you and give me his opinion if you're ok to date my daughter

new fella - errrr, ok (nervous)

5 minutes of straight face from big chap was doing a great job of making new fella look uncomfortable

big chap had been trying to drain the cider bus for a few hours

I go for a pee and when I come back big chap is declaring 'i love you' to new fella and kissing the top of his head whilst hugging

f...ing pointless trying to lay down such a plan at Glastonbury...lesson learned

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