Overheard funnies

[alibear]

This is always my favourite post-Glasto thread so I thought I'd start it off. Two from me:

-Couple walking from Hitchin Hill towards Pyramid, guy says: "I don't even know why I was pissed. I only had three pints... of wine"

-By the Glade:

Guy 1: "Sometimes live just got to feed our body what it needs"

Guy 2: "Yeah... Well I've still got some MDMA in my tent, so..."

[Mouseboy11]

Probably not that funny to most but when The Last Shadow Puppets were on everyone was chanting 'Miles! Miles!' as Wales scored against Ireland only to be drowned out by 'Wales! Wales!'

[Nobody Interesting]

Woman to partner (imagine said in very posh accent

"Fuck it, I've got mud on my Gucci"

[pie_and_a_pint]

A couple queueing at Manic Organic at dinner time on Saturday, arguing mildly about what to go and see.

Her: 'Look, it's YOUR evening. What do YOU want to do?'

Him: 'Well, babe, if it was up to me we'd be back to the tent and doing some anal, but I suppose on reflection we'd better go and see New Order.'

[HattersBoy]

30 minutes ago, pie_and_a_pint said:

A couple queueing at Manic Organic at dinner time on Saturday, arguing mildly about what to go and see.

Her: 'Look, it's YOUR evening. What do YOU want to do?'

Him: 'Well, babe, if it was up to me we'd be back to the tent and doing some anal, but I suppose on reflection we'd better go and see New Order.'

So made me laugh I didnt give her a chance it was NO all the way and they were amazing!

[CatBallou]

Little boy to his parents "It's not as good a Legoland" said quite cheerily

[Titters]

Not overheard exactly. 

But I saw a girl stood with her headphones on in between sets. 

 

Not enough music for some folk. 

[Bristol Boy]

Though there were several overheard conversations about Radiohead and Stone Roses secret sets my favourite was a very posh, very agitated girl saying to her male companion.

"Stone Roses are doing one set but I haven't a fucking clue where".

The written word just can't convey the emphasis on her use of "fucking".

The other one to make smile was two youngish girls talking about those "Zed Zed blokes on the big Pyramid thing".

[airwaves]

On Friday morning, as peeps were rising from their tents, girl (late teens / early 20s) from tent next to me on being told the result of the referendum:

'Shiiit - no! - they'll just run it again won't they?'

 

No dear, it's not like retaking a failed GCSE!!!

[RichardWaller]

This is just gonna be like Overheard In Waitrose isn't it? Ha

[Francine]

So many amazing ones that I would love to know the context for!! A couple for now...

 

On Friday morning, people in the tents around me discussing the referendum:

Guy 1: What?! But my last two girlfriends were European!

Guy 2: You can still date Europeans...

 

These guys provided great morning entertainment. On Sunday morning they told one of the group that they had had to pretend another of them was really drunk to get him back to the tent. I'm guessing he was the really drunk one because they followed this up with 'you then pretended to get your knob out and go for a piss, and pissed your pants.'

[Ommadawn]

Girl on the phone behind me on Sunday morning as I was queueing for some food.

"Hello Mum
Yes, I'm fine. What did I do last night? Well, I saw Adele and then went back to my tent for the night and I'm about to start my shift."

I looked around and asked her if that's what really happened.

"Not really", she said. "I saw about half of Adele's set, met up with my mates at Silver Haze, got off my tits on Smack, when back to my tent and threw up and now have to start my shift -  but I couldn't really tell my mum that."

 

[Jamesthedrake]

Friday morning after the referendum results:

Some guy cheerily yelled "Good morning everyone!"

Canpsite quietly murmured "Good morning" etc. 

Same guy yelled: "No it isn't! We're completely fucked!"

[picicata]

I was camped right next to some young, middle class guys and girls who were a really nice bunch but came out with a couple of crackers..

1. Woke up on Thursday morning to one of the girls exclaiming 'oh my god Basel, you've slept on all the Brioche!'

2. On Friday morning, one of the lads was saying how he had met a girl whilst out and about and whilst going in for kiss had shat himself! Apparently, he didn't even notice himself and need his mate to point out the crime. One of his friends, and some random guy he'd only just met, walked him back to his tent and helped clean him up. Now thats friendship!

[mjsell]

11 minutes ago, Jamesthedrake said:

Friday morning after the referendum results:

Some guy cheerily yelled "Good morning everyone!"

Canpsite quietly murmured "Good morning" etc. 

Same guy yelled: "No it isn't! We're completely fucked!"

That's my favourite so far.

Wasnt there this year, but this thread is the dogs bollocks - so keep them coming everybody

[Muppetmark]

Woke up this morning (Monday) to the guys in the tent next to mine. One was trying to get the other up and went on about how he had been up for over an hour , wanted to get off, started abusing the other one then proceeded to threaten to call his mother. Eventually he got up only to not find one of his shoes. He was leant one but proceeded to put it on wrong somehow 

[Cian T]

Overheard a girl during TDCC finding out that we're leaving the EU.. "Oh fuck! I'm not European anymore!?"

[gigpusher]

Guy to girl: Do you want to go and see Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbott

Girl: Who are they?

Guy: They used to be in The Lighthouse Family

[concerned]

3 hours ago, alibear said:

This is always my favourite post-Glasto thread so I thought I'd start it off. Two from me:

-Couple walking from Hitchin Hill towards Pyramid, guy says: "I don't even know why I was pissed. I only had three pints... of wine" 

Hah, pretty sure that was me 

[DeanoL]

In the crowd leaving Adele, a young girl without a hint of irony "She really is the Bowie of our generation"

[danceonfire]

Couple arrived back at their tent last night.

Girl: oh my God whys the tent all wet?

Bloke: cause it's been fuckin raining all day!!

Made me chuckle.

[alibear]

27 minutes ago, concerned said:

Hah, pretty sure that was me 

Haha, kudos if it was. Two bottles of wine in one night at a festival is sterling work!

[barcelonista1899]

Wondering round kidz field with the lady for the first time and overhear a mother says to her kid: "Come on, let's go and see Granny in Block 9!" 

 

Granny having a mad one!

[kaytee...]

Some people camped next to us discussing who they went to see the night before;

'That Sugar Ross were good' 

Also a guy on a bad trip ran from the direction of stone circle through the craft fields screaming 'the dragons are here!' whilst his friends were trying to catch him

[alibear]

19 minutes ago, kaytee... said:

Some people camped next to us discussing who they went to see the night before;

'That Sugar Ross were good' 

Also a guy on a bad trip ran from the direction of stone circle through the craft fields screaming 'the dragons are here!' whilst his friends were trying to catch him

Was that on Thursday afternoon? He was in a crazy place - I saw him running into the wooden flag posts at the back of the field and constantly taking running jumps and landing hip first on the ground, before getting up and saying "I feel good, I feel good...". God knows how his body felt after that, not to mention his mind!

Edited June 27, 2016 by alibear