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Usable toilets?!


Guest hjglasto
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Hi, I've never been to glasto before, and have just created a membership on here, just wondering if there are any toilets which are usable at the festival, I'm not some kind of 'glamping' guy, just can't really stomach disgusting long drops! Thanks

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Honestly, I prefer the long drops - the portaloos can get horrendously smelly in the heat, whereas as the long drops are nicely ventilated by virtue of them being open air.

As well as the flushing toilets, there are compost toilets run by Water Aid in King's Meadow. But honestly, it could take you an hour+ roundtrip to get to either of these places - better off just learning to use the same loos as everyone else!

For more info on the loos, check out this bit of Tort's awesome FAQ. http://www.glastoearth.com/the-faq/faq-part-4

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Oh, hells yes…time to recycle my ode to dumping (again)

With apologies to Mary Schmich and Baz Luhrman...

Ladies and gentlemen of the Glastonbury class of 2013. Take a dump.

If I could offer you only one tip for the toilets … crapping would be it.

The long term benefits of dumping have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of a dump; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of a dump until it has faded.

But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of a long drop and

recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before

you and how fabulous that dump really was…Portaloos are not as messy as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the shepees; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; that wet patch on your leg that someone points out to you at 4pm on some idle Thurssday. Wear dark trousers.

Do one dump everyday that scares you. Sing. Don’t be reckless with opening long drop doors, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Ouch.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes

you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. The person next to you is not having a better dump.

Remember the clean portaloos, forget the dirty ones; if you

succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, use them as toilet paper. Stretch. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know where you want to do your dump…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 where they

wanted to go, some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to the back of your knees, you’ll miss them if you go properly. Maybe you’ll dump every day, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have diarrhea, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll squeeze one out at midnight, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken trying to avoid the seat…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your

aim is half chance, so is everybody else’s.

Enjoy your dump, do it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest dump you’ll ever take. Dump…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own tent. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they are too slippy to use for wiping. Get to know your flushing loos, you never know when they’ll be backed up for good. Be nice to your neighbours; they are the best link to your tent and the people most likely to stick with you in the next five days.

Understand that long drops come and go, but for the precious few you

should hold on. Work hard to keep the door closed while perched over the gaping hole.

Camp in Pennards once, but leave before it makes you hard; camp in the backstage area once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, it will rain at Glastonbury, fields are muddy, you too will need a dump, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young Glastonbury was sunny, fields were green and toilets were always sparkling. Respect the hedges.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Hover over the seat on your own. Maybe you have a roll of loo paper, maybe you have a box of wet wipes; but you never know when either one might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time it's Saturday, it will look rough.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. Like a wallet from the long drops. But trust me on the dump…

The above was a hastily done adaptation of the Mary Schmich article in Chicago Tribune which was turned into a song by Baz Luhrman which you can find here... http://www.youtube.c...h?v=xfq_A8nXMsQ

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Been to Glasto six times never once been on a filthy long drop (just don't look down) it's the rivers of piss from the men's urinals that overflow towards the end of the day at the pyramid stage that disturb me and that's mainly because some arseholes can't be bothered to wait and just piss up against the canvas.

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Long drops are much preferred by many. Portaloos (or Turdis's - or whatever the plural of turdis is!!) are cramped, dark and smelly in comparison. These days the toilets are very very regularly cleaned and generally not too bad, but I'd try to reserve any sitting down activity to daytime. If you do happen upon a filthy one, and you just can't, then just come out and go in another. I've been to the flushers up near the farm and it was great (years ago) but to be honest not worth the walk.

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long drops have their own built in ventilation system, they are way better than the portaloos the queues are usually much shorter. My master plan for this year is to sneak a pair of mannequin's legs into one and have my own personal bog.

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Honestly, I prefer the long drops - the portaloos can get horrendously smelly in the heat, whereas as the long drops are nicely ventilated by virtue of them being open air.

As well as the flushing toilets, there are compost toilets run by Water Aid in King's Meadow. But honestly, it could take you an hour+ roundtrip to get to either of these places - better off just learning to use the same loos as everyone else!

For more info on the loos, check out this bit of Tort's awesome FAQ. http://www.glastoearth.com/the-faq/faq-part-4

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many years ago - in the 80's - it was wet { very wet } - walking past a toilet I could hear someone knocking - now seeing this was the dead of night they could not be knocking to get in - the sound was coming from the other side and as soon as I walked round I realised what the problem was
the bloody thing had sunk into the hole - not right down but enough to block the doors from being opened - now if it was me I would have just climbed out - anyway I said hello and something like - hang on I will go and get help - the male said thanks and just before I walked off a female said ' I am trapped as well ' and then a second female said something.
I went up to the farm and a tractor was produced and he gave me a lift back - out with a few chains and he had soon got it up enough for the doors to be opened - the guy said ' that is the last time I take bloody acid '
please note that the ones I have seen now have a concrete base although I have not made a survey of them as I use the nearest staff toilet so have not used them for years.
Now what I dont know is if they were aware that there was three of them trapped that side - all they said was it happened really fast .
those were the days.
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Really - it's one of those things you can obsess about but there are much better things to be concerned about at Glasto!

If you haven't left the festival wanting with all your heart to get back to that place with the dodgy loos you're not doing it right! ;)

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I camp in Tom's field as on recycling crew so have the advantage of being near the proper porcelain flushing loos- handy for number 2's. Otherwise it's urinals or long drops- much preferable to the portaloos

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I camp in Tom's field as on recycling crew so have the advantage of being near the proper porcelain flushing loos- handy for number 2's. Otherwise it's urinals or long drops- much preferable to the portaloos

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So as others have said, the toilets have gotten better each year and are certainly a massive improvement on how things were way-back-then when i first started coming.

Okay, so over the past few years this is my list of toilets to avoid.

  • Long drops by John Peel Stage
  • Mens urinals Pyramid filed (stage right)
  • Long drops bottom of Pennards/Arcadia
  • Portaloos north of the Dance Fields adjoining Oxlyers

Some of the better toilets (not including the flushables up by the farm)

  • Long drops In Wickets/Hitchin Fields
  • Long Drops in Acoustic field
  • Portaloos near Mandela bar, (the cleaning squad there in 2011 were utter heroes)
  • Portaloos between West Holts & Avalon field
  • Long drops near Lower ground/Long Mead.

A couple of handy hints.

  • Take a torch with you at night that has a cord/handle, portaloos are pitch black inside, you'll ned to hang the light up to see what you're doing.
  • If you are using bogrolls, take a bungee chord with you. Thread the bungee through the loo-roll, you can then hang the loo roll up by the bungee and you've got a free running loo-roll (ie; you're not juggling everything in your hands)
  • In the long drops.... DON'T.. LOOK.. DOWN..! :-)
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