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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

There are some people who are completely happy with themselves, their lives, and their prospects for the future. While they can be considered to be more fortunate than most, most who do not fall into that category are not as bad off as they tend to believe. Instead, they are simply lacking something, or making mistakes, which are standing in the way of their lives being as fulfilling as they would prefer. Some even go as far as to not realize the immense potential they possess.

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What is the main difference between those lucky individuals whose lives seem to be wonderfully on-track and those who, often despite every step of trying on their part, appear to have all of the odds stacked against them? While in some cases it is a matter of some people having better luck than others, those whose lives are content in the moment and proceeding in the direction of their choice, do not live in the past.

Whether you are thinking about your personality or your life in general, success means focusing on the here-and-now. While it is important to acknowledge the choices and experiences which resulted in you being where you are today, it is equally important to not allow yourself to become so caught up in thoughts of the past that the present day passes you by.

Self-motivation is the key to ensuring that you do not continue repeating the same mistakes. You may have had one or more errors in judgment which led you to take the wrong path, or to make mistakes that were not in your best interest. You can acknowledge this without rehashing them over and over again in your mind, and simply be determined to make different, better decisions today.

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Then is over; this is now. The less time and effort you put into looking at the past, the more you will have for living and experiencing this day. You will also find that letting go of the past will give you a deeper sense of strength. Instead of allowing past mistakes and worries to drain your energies, you will have a renewed energy to live your life to the fullest and enjoy it more.

Being content with yourself and optimistic about your future is not difficult. Whatever is in the past is over; learn from it and move on. When you are self-motivated enough to do this, you will see that moving ahead is the best definition of living life.

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With that said, what can you do now? Sure it is easy for me to tell you to forget the past, yet it is a whole different practice to actually do it. Life is a complex set of events much of which of course is real, yet a large amount is just your view of what really happened.

Let me explain with an example. I know not everyone is a football fan but I am guessing most have watched at least part of a game on TV. Most plays and almost all the important plays are played over and over on the TV screen right after the play happened.

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How many times have you watched a play and were certain and I mean certain of the outcome, say the player caught a pass, then watching the instant replay you realize you were totally wrong, the player dropped the pass. What you were certain you saw, never happened.

The first step in trying to minimize the effects of your past in order to concentrate on your future is to find out how much of the past that you are certain happened were just mistakes on your part.

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A quick example might be as a teenager you tried to build a piece of furniture out of scrape wood in your father’s workshop. The piece of furniture looked good when you finished but fell apart before you could show your father and you assumed your were a lousy carpenter and the rest of your life you have avoided building anything. Yet the reality was the scrap wood you used was faulty and not your building ability.

Yet the rest of your life you have believed mistakenly you are a poor builder of things.

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  • 1 month later...

"Just a few more minutes…please Mommy!"

Although my own children were grown, I found myself turning instinctively in the direction of the little voice. He was

trailing after his mother, looking reluctantly over his shoulder at a display of remote control toys in the large department

store.

He couldn't have been more than four years old. With chubby checks and wispy blond hair going in several directions, he

trotted behind his mother down the main aisle of the department store. His boots caught my eye. They were green. Really

green. Bright, shiny, Kermit-the-Frog, green. Obviously new and a little too big, the boots stopped just below his knees

leaving a hint of dimpled legs disappearing into rumpled shorts. Perfect boots for the rainy transition from summer to fall.

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He stopped abruptly at a display of full-length mirrors, lifting one foot at a time, grinning and admiring his boots until

his mother called for him to catch up to her. Dressed in a suit, heels clicking on the tile floor, she was tossing items

into her cart as she and her son made their way to the checkout lanes at the front of the store.

I smiled at the picture he made clumping noisily behind his mother. I found myself wondering if she had just picked him up

from daycare after a busy day in an office somewhere. I sighed as I selected an item and put it in my own cart. My days of

trying to juggle a full time job and two small children had been busy, sometimes even hectic, but I missed them.

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Finishing my own shopping, I forgot about the little boy and his mother until I stepped outside the store. There a panorama

unfolded before me. The rain had slowed to a drizzle, perforating the numerous puddles in the parking lot. Several mothers

with their small children were hurrying in and out of the department store. The children were, of course, making beelines to

the puddles that dotted their way from the cars to the store's entrance. The mothers were right behind them, scolding.

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"Ge"You'll ruin your shoes!"

"What's the matter with you? Are you deaf? I said, GET OUT OF THAT PUDDLE!"

And so it continued. The children were being pulled away from the puddles and hurried along. All except for one…the little

green-booted boy.

He and his mother were not rushing anywhere. The boy was happily splashing away in the largest puddle in the parking lot,

oblivious to the rain and to the people coming and going. His wispy hair was plastered to his head and a huge smile was

plastered on his face. And his mother? She put up her umbrella, adjusted her packages and waited. Not scolding, not rushing.

Just watching.

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As she fished her car keys out of her purse, the boy, hearing the familiar jingling, paused in mid-splash and looked up.

"Just a few more minutes? Please Mommy?" He begged.

She hesitated, and then she smiled at him.

"Okay!" she responded and adjusted her packages again.

By the time I got to my car, loaded my packages and was ready to ease out of my parking space, the green-booted boy and his

mother were walking toward their car, smiling and talking.

How much time did that "few more minutes" take out of her day? Probably about five. Not so much time out of a busy day. So

what if she got home a little later than she had planned?

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What a contrast the boy and his mother were to the other families I had just seen. What volumes that "few more minutes"

spoke to that little boy about his value to his mother. Nothing in her universe was so pressing that it couldn't wait a few

more minutes to let her young son try out his new boots-an important event in the life of How many times had my children

begged for "just a few more minutes"? Had I smiled and waited like the mother of the green booted boy? Or had I scolded?

Just a few more minutes. Everything I have read about time management for working mothers can be summed up in one picture.

The picture of that young mother standing under her umbrella, arms full of packages, smiling her assent to a wet, green-

booted boy who had asked her the universal time management question for working mothers everywhere,

"Just a few more minutes?"

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