Amusing Glastonbury Quotes

[strudders]

We'll never see the like of the Bollocks Heyday again....

RIP "Bollocks"

1994-1998

[gordy]

Watching a man tapping along to psychadelic trance on painted oil drum bin with pencils. He then proceeded to chat the bin up and try and make love to it. It was around 5am on a sunny sunday morning in '95, and one of the funniest things I've ever seen

[gordy]

There was a man up near the common ground café.

He had a remote control like with a telescopic aerial, like used for a remote control car.

He was following an empty Sainsburys bag, blowing in the breeze, twiddling the controls.

When the breeze would die down and the bag would stop, he'd look at the control, smack the side of it, wobble it a bit.

Then the breeze would come back, he'd nod his head, smile and head off again.

Also, he was wearing a diamond woolen tank top with nothing underneath and a pair of NHS glasses with no lenses.

Laughed so much after i read that.

[Storm_NL]

Or Tiiiiimmmmyyyyy

[Salt_On_Everything]

i suppose 'Buttscratcher!' is quite relevant to the 'Family Guy' generation as 'Timmmmah!' was t the old-skool 'South Park' generation...

bet ya'll hear it!

if you don't hear it at glasto, i'll take it back. and grovel. like a gimp.

[strudders]

Ahh, but Timmy was a transient thing, which was also a pop-culture reference, and thus had a shelf-life.

Funny the first year, Tolerated the second, and now only clung to by a few...

"Bollocks" was the original, and shall always be remembered as such...

*salutes*

[Storm_NL]

i suppose 'Buttscratcher!' is quite relevant to the 'Family Guy' generation as 'Timmmmah!' was t the old-skool 'South Park' generation...

bet ya'll hear it!

if you don't hear it at glasto, i'll take it back. and grovel. like a gimp.

[Boltzmann Brain]

From 2007...

Bill Bailey realising that 'I've got soul but I'm not a soldier' doesn't really mean anything and that The Killers might as well be saying:

"I've got ham but I'm not a hamster"

The caberet tent was singing that for the rest of his set!

[Boltzmann Brain]

Trudging through some very heavy mud on sunday morning in the pissing rain, we passed a guy on the phone,

speaking in a very calm lucid voice his end of the conversation went along the lines of:

No, I've tried, but I'm sorry I'm just not feeling the love very much right now, in fact I'm mostly full of hate at the moment

made me chuckle

[Salt_On_Everything]

ok, not glasto, and it was ME who said it, but i got damn good laugh from some passers-by ok?

while we were dragging all our f**king stuff back to the car on a broken tarpaulin:

My mate: 'God, i'm sweating!'

Me' 'Sweating? I feel like i'm building the f**king pyramids!'

[Storm_NL]

Near the Other Stage again, last year....

Two girls walking towards each other along one of the walkways realise that they are wearing identical patterned raincoats..

There is much pointing and flapping of hands..

"Oh my god! How embarrassing!"

"I could just die!"

[Buddhafish]

Embarrassing moment (not for me) - finding my wife and my sister dancing to the noise from a generator behind an ice cream van.

Favourite quote - "Acid - £3 a tab, 3 for a tenner".Think about it.

[Storm_NL]

Embarrassing moment (not for me) - finding my wife and my sister dancing to the noise from a generator behind an ice cream van.

Favourite quote - "Acid - £3 a tab, 3 for a tenner".Think about it.

[medzy]

lying in my tent at 5am in the morning

Stranger "Im shattered"

Me " i think you might have the wrong tent"

Stranger " Oh shit sorry"

Me "thats ok"

Stranger "bye"

Me "bye"

Never to see each other again, passing ships in the night

[kohoutec]

A few years ago at the cider bus !

A young German lad or Swiss or Austrian perhaps , blonde with huge rucksack on his back says to man behind bar

in a strong German accent

"I cannot drink this , it is cloudy and has bits in "

[pmpants]

Not quite a quote.........

Last year wandering thru the Green Fields on a sunny afternoon, following two coppers in uniform, a guy with long dreds rushes up and taps one of the coppers on the right should. Points to the back of the coppers right boot and tells him he has something stuck on his foot, he cranes his head back, bends his knee to look at the back of his boot and ends up looking camper than a row of pink tents!!

Because everyone around saw the guy rush up to the copper they're was a massive cheers and everyone was in hysterics including the coppers mate and especially the copper himself once he'd realised what was going on! It was priceless!

Only at Glastonbury!!

[beergut100]

There was a man up near the common ground café.

He had a remote control like with a telescopic aerial, like used for a remote control car.

He was following an empty Sainsburys bag, blowing in the breeze, twiddling the controls.

When the breeze would die down and the bag would stop, he'd look at the control, smack the side of it, wobble it a bit.

Then the breeze would come back, he'd nod his head, smile and head off again.

Also, he was wearing a diamond woolen tank top with nothing underneath and a pair of NHS glasses with no lenses.

[billyd]

Although not a quote from Glastonbury, and infact a quote from these exact boards, it really did make me chuckle, as it highlights a very funny truth.

"But basically, you weren't going to get any sleep so you have to rely on just passing out."

Made me chuckle, thanks Lostriot

[Welly Boot]

This thread's the best!

[Sarah-Lou]

Last year camped in Woodsies (near the bus station) on the Monday morning a bloke had a loud-haler by the bus station to organise people...We heard him shout...'Has anyone seen a busload of Australians?>>.I've lost 50 Australians!!

[ivan]

My mate , whilst having a smoke !

"What have you put in this ? - CRACK !!!!!! "

[hotdogboy23]

back when the automatic had released their song Monster

drunk bloke goes over to a policeman and points at his face and sings....

"whats that on top of your lip? is it a mustache? is it a mustache?"

haha what a legend!

[chimpy]

In 2005 my mate took off his wet wellies and socks and tried to dry his feet over our fire. he set the hairs on his toes on fire and he screamed "big toe, big toe ,big toe!" Same guy had a rather strong smoke the day before and looked at me and said "ooooooh betty", maybe not immediatley funny but hilarious in jokes all weekend.

[Krudler]

Wandering home in from the Stone Circle Sunday morning 2000, we heard a megaphone voice come from out of the fog, "Look, it's just not funny any more, can you all please stop dancing!"

My personal worst was last year, sitting at the Jazzworld Field bar with friends on Friday afternoon. "I tell you, if it doesn't stop raining for the rest of the weekend within one hour I promise you can take me outside and beat the sh!t out of me." Luckily they took mercy and saved the beating till after the festival.

[Turts]

Was wandering past a half submerged tent in 2005 when I heard someone singing away to themself inside it...

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream...."

Made me chuckle.