balti-pie

Dont want to get too hung up on the lineup til i know what shifts i'm given, but Les savy fav and Dinosaur jr are the two bands i'm most fancying, so hopefully the shift gods sort me out on the sunday 👍

In 2008 i went down on the wednesday with some mates, parked up in purple miles away from gate C as per normal, pitched up the tent etc and got everything sorted - then my girlfriend at the time drove down on the thursday, and she wasnt great at directions so she got lost on the a303 somehow and she ended up in the hospitality parking about a hundred yards outside of gate A, in that very spot you've marked 😄 dunno how, she had a normal parking pass, but i presume the dudes on the gate thought she looked like she might kill someone if she wasnt parked as close as possible . . . it made the monday morning an absolute breeze tbf

Just googled Obscene Extreme, it looks ace! Definitely a fair few bands i'd watch, that'll be a belter 👍

Before it was Truth, it was Hell, so i presume its just a gentle rebrand as per the whole evolving Shangri-la thing. Wouldnt mind it being a bit differently set out, so there isnt a throughfare at the back as much (and a bit more heavy stuff on there would be lovely too, bring back Napalm Death etc!)

Hiking in scotland would be a great way to ignore it all yknow. I've hiked the West highland way and the Speyside way in the last few years, and its been great - book up the accommodation well in advance, plot your route so you're not undertaking ridiculous distances, and its a brilliant way to spend a week. Start each day with a fryup, bit of hiking through some amazing countryside, about six hours a day/15 miles ish so room for afternoon nappage and a couple of pints with dinner somewhere, and then b&b/little hotel/pub rooms for a wonderful night's sleep and ready to do it all again the next day. Perhaps a little whisky here and there to aid your feet too! If i were avoiding a glastonbury, thats precisely what i would do

They have a coconut and lychee one, that sounds amazing - the pineapple and grapefruit sounds good too. I do like a rum, but i like a bash of it before dropping £25 on a bottle. Got to see if i can spy it in a pub at some point so i can try it 👍

I think, for the purposes of research, that youll have to have a little snifter and review on this very thread. Ahead of the festival, obvs.

The fairly standard wooden mushroom, which was dipped in mud and driven home to go on the mantelpiece - where its remained since 2005, and itll be his 19th anniversary this summer! Mud is still present on his nose. Every year i look at the candle powered little boats and say i'm going to buy one, despite not really having a vessel that would show it off to its best - and it wasnt even there last year so the (ahem) ship may have already sailed, so to speak

No, they're funny. In the same way that Spinal Tap is/are funny. big bottom is an absolute banger tbf, Sleaford Mods wont ever be able to get within a hundred miles of such a tune. Didnt Spinal Tap play early on the pyramid one year? That needs to happen again!

If an acoustic set by Ocean Colour Scene - in the year of twenty twenty four ffs - isnt the worst possible potential activity of the glastonbury weekend then i'm a dutchman. And that includes all volunteering and working shifts.

Plus the pattern of: Acoustic Avalon hang on, they're going alphabetic on stage announcements! Shangri-la no they're not, there is no pattern 😁

The Earache artists are: Bob Vylan Cam Cole Delilah Bon High Fade Kneecap the last four i've not heard of to be honest, but i'll check em out in the hope i find my new favourite thing 👍

This is a loyalist wind-up 😄

I'd not anticipate any Slayer at all at a Kerry King gig tbf - he's an awkward sod at the best of times 😄 his stuff doesnt sound bad at all, quite enjoyed the couple of songs i've heard, but not anywhere near enough to drop £50 on a ticket unless the venue was a hundred yards down the road from me

TMI obviously, but a good poop is part of my morning ablutions and i don't feel right with the world til ive had one. In a long drop or a compost loo, not a portaloo, and typically between 8 and 9am. My first glastonbury was 2005 and i was a bit more squeamish about things then, i didnt poop from the thursday when i got there until the sunday morning, and then i had the mother of all movements just off the railway track in a long drop 😁 it was soundtracked by the Levellers, who were playing nearby at the time. I always think of them as im pooping open air. It was followed by a second huge bowel movement about an hour later, and since then i've shat like a prince at glasto. right, i feel i've overshared now 🤠

I'm rocking up first knockings on monday, staying in the Travelodge by Podimore on the sunday night so i can head straight in and get my campsite sorted in the oxfield from 10am. Get wristbanded and get my shifts and everything from about 1pm, then ill head into site for a stroll around to see some sights, sit under a tree, work out when im working and who i can see 👍 Other working mates in other areas will be there, some late monday and others on tuesday - but im more than happy to stroll about with a few cans and find some quiet spots for a sitdown. I've always managed to somehow not be working first thing on the wednesday, so i tend to get up early and get up to the sign for about 8/8.30am, and watch people streaming in, the fields slowly filling up with tents and excitement. And arguments 😄 i love watching people carrying all their sh*t, knowing their moment of absolute bliss is under an hour away, but they have to go through the sweaty heavy trauma first to earn it

Would love to hear of Arcade Fire playing to 17 people at brixton academy, due to a nationwide crackdown on a) people who don't understand the concept of consent and b) sh*tty ticket prices.

I’m presuming it’ll be pretty cold, as it’s early in the season, in the midlands (it’s up north to me, but then Glastonbury is up north to me 😁) and it’s next to a river - I’m anticipating wearing more than the standard uniform of shorts and hoodies! Will I need a Big Coat? I think I might

Give him loads on the journey there, but when youre all set up and sorted and having your first wander round early wednesday evening, buy him a lovely pint and a little apple brandy from the cider bus 👍

I volunteer these days, so annoyingly my sack truck that has served through many muddy pushes and pulls on and offsite has enjoyed a bit of a retirement in my mate's shed. i'm parked in the field next to where oxfam camp, its no more than a five minute wander at the very, very most from tent to car so i can bring a foamy mattress, a duvet, a variety of eats, and all the spare socks a centipede would need. I've done my hard yards in hiking 40 kilos over two miles of rutted slush, thankfully 😄

Its the age old discussion: one journey taking absolutely everything, or a streamlined tent only trip followed by a second one carrying more stuff? I think its easier to just concentrate on tent and bed first trip, get most things sorted and shipshape, then out for a second bash for clothes and food, which is a far more relaxed and sedate affair almost certainly featuring a stop for a beer and a sitdown. Its a tightrope though. One trippers break themselves on that one go, and then smile smugly at the two trippers. But the two trippers arent mouthing swears at everyone around them in the queues. well, not as much.

They had ice cold cans of the Arbor non alcoholic beer at the bar in Unfairground a couple of years ago, but not last year - they also had Lucky Saint here and there, which is great if its chilled. The staff bar at Arcadia (this might not be any good to you, apologies if its not!) had a very decent german alkoholfrei weissbier, cant remember who made it but that was well worth hunting out when i was over that way. I love a beer, i just dont like getting drunk so having a good old mix up of what i drink is what i do. Good on you for going sober, you'll remember so much more of it, and can do so much more during the day! I also strongly recommend something really sugary for late on, a big cake or a fruit smoothie post-headliner if you want to go and do some late night things - you wont have booze as a painkiller for your knackered feet but sugar works wonders in that position. Plus here is an excuse to eat late night cake, if you want one 😁

Media can define what the 'big moments' are i suppose, but i'll make my own damn decisions on that 😄 in 2017 when it seemed like everyone was at Foo fighters wooing and ahhhing along, i was at the Truth stage seeing the Dead Kennedys, who ive loved for bloody years - and they popped into the Earache bar for a beer afterwards so even had a drink and a chat with them! Yet when i came back home after the fest, people just wanted to ask me about how great the Foos were 👍 bleh, dunno mate, its not my bag . . . likewise, Bring Me The Horizon and Babymetal on the Other stage when Kylie Minogue hoovered up a colossal pyramid crowd and had the tv highlights moment - good for everyone who wanted the SAW nonsense and all the costume changes etc, but it wasnt for me - much to the horror of the mates who watched it on tv and were apparently looking for me in the amassed crowd 😁 thats a hell of a game of Where's Wally

Enjoy my favourite drink? Look, if theyve got pints of Omnipollo Noa pecan mudcake imperial stout, i'll be very content with that 😄 something tells me it'll be the same fairly standard and mildly acceptable pints though

Its so unimaginative, year after year the same nonsense. I do like the digs at stewards though, that's the only funny bit to be fair