Flaminglippy
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Status Updates posted by Flaminglippy
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knows 'penalise' isn't a rude word...even though it definitely, definitely should be...
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Has got more money than sense...which, if the authorities knew how skint I am, would probably lead to me being sectioned...
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Thinks they should remake 'Friends With Benefits' in Liverpool but change the title to 'Friends On Benefits'
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Was prevented from going on Mastermind for 4 reasons 1) I didn't go to Uni...2) I'm a thick twat 3) I don't wear glasses and 4) I've had sex with something that isn't a sock or a glass full of liver
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Found out today how much 'fish stew' (which I'm planning on cooking tomorrow tonight) sounds like 'fist you' when said in a loud Brummy accent in a quiet office...
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I made a porn video with my girlfriend who is 6 feet tall and has profound hearing loss. It's my first movie in high deaf
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Right...theres somebody in the boozer, without a drink, taking up a whole table...loads of paper spread out and is marking papers. Are pubs the new libraries?
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right...question of the week was would I rather have a kid who a) rode horses was gay or c) was religious. My choice was I would rather have a kid who was a) gay horsey c) religious...cant imagine anything worse than having a kid who was religious
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New laptop fucked already...a new personal best. 'Cannot find operating system' my arse...
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Had some Cockney fuckstick taking the piss out of my accent today...glass houses and stones you Miles Hunt...
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According to QI, if you sleep with somebody who has a nut allergy, and you've eaten brazil nuts, you can pass it on through your semen. So just to be on the safe side lads, check for a pulse after intercourse...because what you might assume was just a very intense orgasm might have been the onset of anaphylactic shock...
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Cameron's in the crowd for the Villa game...amazing, you'd have thought he'd had enough of watching 11 clueless, overpaid twats scoring own-goals during the cabinet meetings...