Flaminglippy

''I fully intended to go home straight after work. Ended up going for an accidental quick pint. Was walking past a pub 2 hours ago and heard the Smiths. Decided to walk back and have a quick pint. Then he played Stone Roses, Stevie Wonder, and Arctics...after that the whole night is a blur...but not Blur...yet" And that your Honour, is my defence!

''If you can't beat them, don't join them, just post rumours on forums''

'2 skanky whores and a racist dwarf'...gotta love 'In Bruges'.

'2012'...shite film but accurate weather forecast

'A Million Love Songs'...but he only paid tax on 328. The Tory twat.

'A Million Love Songs'...but he only paid tax on 328.

'A Touch of Cloth'...very promising start

'Another sunrise with my sad captains, with who I choose to lose my mind, and if its all we only come this way but once, what a perfect waste of time'.

'Brasseye'-a-thon it is...

'Carpe Died'...'Seize the murder weapon...probably a fishing rod'

'Carpe Diet'...seize the celery

'Conspiracy Road Trip' on BBC3 is quite entertaining...if it had been on Channel 5 it would have no doubt gone under the more accurate title 'Angry Virgins With Bad Facial Hair Believe The Funniest Things'.

'Creaking Bad' http://metro.co.uk/2014/06/18/meth-lab-discovered-in-retirement-village-4765853/

'Dappy's name comes from combining his two nicknames from school...'Dick' and 'Crappy'...

'Darren Fletcher To Take Extended Break From Football'...is he joining Villa on loan for the rest of the season??

'Death wears a big hat because he's a big bloke'

'FA Could Finger Suarez Within Next 24 Hours'...bit harsh, a fine or ban would suffice surely...

'He'll have it away with his own daughter and you'll end up with div rhinos'

'How long I waited here for you, Everlong'

'I like a hairy jellybean'...not the kind of admission you expect to hear from the host of Bargain Hunt on a Sunday afternoon.

'I need to keep her under a short leash'...The Apprentice contestant's attempts to re-write the entire English language continues...

'It doesn't matter what it looks like, I'm sure it'll taste OK'...was not the response I was expecting after slaving in the kitchen for an hour

'Life's Too Short'...basically a smaller version of 'The Office'...

'London Midland'...thats the starting and end point their manager would travel if I had the chance to kick him up the arse right now. Incompetent fuck-sucker.