CauliflowerEar

Mark E.G knows how to whip the crowd into a frenzy

Do you often try and initiate conversations with children on the internet mate? As obviously that's rather frowned upon 🤨

Well thats to be expected when most of the ticket holders are middle class 'bucket list' types who wouldn't be going anywhere near Glastonbury if it wasnt for the BBC relentlessly broadcasting and hyping it for many years now.

Oh Jesus wept, look at the state of this lot 😆 My advice to the OP Would be to just get a spot with the easiest charity, then pretty much as soon as you are on site just bin them right off and enjoy the festival. They always make really scary threats that they will look for and find you 🤣, but its all nonsense- just go and get involved in the festival like you would if you had a real ticket. Trust me, you'll laugh long and hard during the festival when you pass some of the muppets that you recognise from the 'briefing', who are now stood by a fucking fence for the next 8 hours having to direct people off their tits to the nearest bank of portaloos. 👌

Then the parents should learn how to tell their little darling 'no'.

Theyll want to hope that all their crew come back having been worked very hard this year in the roasting sunshine, only to sell a stake of the festival to Live Nation etc. Shambala is alrite at night, but really cringey in the day time- basically loads of liberal do gooder familes thinking how awfully wonderful it is to be a such an 'alternative festie'. It is piss easy to break into though, which is obviously a big advantage although you cant go into the woods without a wristband. Just wait until night-time when they clear away the gash roller disco and turn the tent into a bit of a rave den and it gets decent.

I think its kind of good to have a bit of a tear up at a festival, and im glad to hear it still goes on at Reading and Leeds. If i was being charged £6.50 for a can of Carlsberg, i would be pretty pissed off too. I remember once at Global Gathering i got caught up in a massive rumble between a large group of lads and some security guards who seriously underestimated the situation and got their heads kicked in. I cannot lie, it was quite exhilarating to witness, especially as most security guards back then in the mid noughties were nasty bastards.

Most people at Glastonbury these days wouldn't even know the difference between the three, let alone appreciate it. Far more interested in getting an Instagram picture whilst seeing crap like Kylie Minogue with cider in hand and wellies on feet. Ill be glad tomorrow and Monday at Notting Hill Carnival since these types of people are absolutely shit scared of going anywhere near it.

If i paid close to £6 for a can of Red Stripe and it was anything other than ice cold i would kick up a big fuss. Its great however to read that bar staff were giving away loads of booze to people at the bars as a result of their treatment by Freemans. I used to do this a lot when i worked for Peppermint, even though compared to Freeman's you were treated like a God.

Thats the sort of object that would be a laugh to try and roll down a hill and see the carnage it hopefully causes.

Wow man, what are you thinking in terms of broadband provider? I'm quite intrigued.

Even though i shouldn't, being a Londoner, im actually a big fan of Scousers. Could happily chill with a bunch of them all day. Its more the middle class melts from the shires who think are rebelling against their privileged upbringing by buying tickets to Glastonbury each year to watch bands like Coldplay who are utter shite, which get on my goat.

WOW What a wild story! I always knew the real demented debauchery took place at a fabulously quirky and downright side splitting session of 'laughing yoga'. Next year, remind me to hang around the healing fields on a Sunday afternoon to really have my eyes opened.

Sorry mate, i didnt listen to 'Blink 182' when i was younger. Kids who did generally got terrorised. I assume you were one of them.

As i made quite clear in a previous post, i sell gas around the stone circle in the mornings - please do keep up. The music is well and truly finished by the time i stumble up there. Nice attempt at a dig though, old buddy 😉

Careful, they'll all turn on you too unless you toe the line. They can be quite vindictive for folk who are meant to loosely live around the peace and love creedo.

Its so dumb that there was ever one of these things at Glastonbury when they have a license to play music until 5 or 6am anyway. I guess its one of those things that certain people think is hilarious and something to report back to their similarly boring friends as a hilarious 'glasto moment'.

Yeah, saying that i do not like Coldplay, like literally millions of people across the country is just 1 big parody 😆

Because they are a whingey, soft as shite, middle of the road band ideal for the middle classes which now dominate Glastonbury festival.

Its a great feeling when you get past the Oxfam melts and security, knowing you have made it through with no ticket and a bag full of drugs, booze and laughing gas to sell in the mornings by the stone circle. This normally means you leave the festival on Monday with a nice tidy profit, even when accounting for the tent you spent a few quid on an inevitably leave at the festival site. You can even afford to leave behind your sleeping bag and hiking boots so you have a lighter journey home, as you know you have made money over the weekend rather than spunk loads of it.

I was driven in one year by a chap with all the correct accreditation, he was doing runs all weekend and must have made 10's of thousands of pounds. Fair play to him, if i was in the same position i would be doing exactly the same thing, because although it is not a crime, it is certainly the epitome of a victimless 'crime'.

Better than buying a ticket, matey 🤫

Its pretty easy to get into the festival without a ticket, dont listen to those Oxfam stewards who like going around telling everyone its impossible, of course it is mate here- have crayon 😆. i have done it several times, and have literally dozens of my mates. At its peak around 2017 there was about 40 of us staying on Pennards Hill, and apart from a handful that were working, we had all broken in without much bother. I did feel sorry for the guys a short distance away who got rounded up and chucked out as one of them passed out beside the tent by a walkway with no wristband on, as that could have been us. Im not going to go into techniques as i have noticed there are quite a few sad cases on here that would probably take note and actually snitch to security etc next year. As long as you have the bollocks to get yourself to site without a ticket knowing anything could happen, and you have confidence, you'll be fine. It is also massively important to already know someone on site already, preferably somoene who works there who can sort something out for you while you are en-route. Im not going to lie, sometimes you do have to wait in the fucking carpark for hours on end until your link is available, but once you get the call you get your arse to wherever the person has told you to be, time to do the deed! I prefer to go through the traditional channels, i.e trick or cheat my was past the gates, rather than climbing fences as for the latter you need to obviously pack as light as possible so slugging 40 or 50 cans of booze is out of the question, and you will end up spending the same amount of money the ticket cost on shitty £6 pints of Carlsberg, which is not a great thought.

First time at Sziget and its definitely gets a thumbs up from me. We chose to only go on 2 days, as the line up was nowhere near good enough to justify a full 6 day pass and there is plenty of good stuff to do in the city centre anyway. We went on the Friday as i wanted to see Ben Klock and were pretty impressed by the pounding Colleseum, nice and loud and outdoors! After a while though i was absolutely desperate for some pills since i only had ket which i had brought over from the UK, luckily a sound Hungarian guy who we befriended sorted us out some mandy and the rest of the night was a blur, but a good blur. I did however go by the main stage when Justin Bieber was playing and it was fucking weird and tragic seeing grown men actually enjoying it- sort yourselves out 😆 Judging by the amount of wristbands in the city centre during the day, we didnt seem to be missing too much at the festival itself, and when i saw all the tents covered in dust i kind of felt sorry for those who had chosen to camp at the festival. Even more so when i discovered that all the food looked pretty disgusting and way overpriced given that we are in Hungary. A slice of pizza was almost £5 which takes the piss. We went back on the Monday as i quite liked the idea of the Elrow tent and we had another great time. The colloseum was banging again, and the Elrow tent was just as intense. The festival itself wasnt as busy as Friday which was nice. Managed to see a bit of The Artic Monkeys which were pretty shite, and some other boring RnB act called Queen Nokia or something, before retreating back to the Elrow and Colloseum. I found the bars a bit hit and miss, some were friendly and had everything others had run out of stuff and im sure were overcharging for drinks. I think Sziget should think long and hard about increasing drinks prices any more than they have done this year as i think people will just stop buying them or bothering with the festival at all.

Anyone who turns up on Wednesday morning, or worse still actually sit's outside the gates all night from Tuesday, is an absolute philistine/mug. Look at me, I love Glastonbury so much im going to waste hours of my time in a queue to then go and camp in a field for 5 days anyway. The BBC might even interview me in my wellies! Get a grip. Topical at the moment, its a bit like dumb people who turn up at the airport 5 hours early for their flight and then find themselves queuing out of the door and wondering what's going on. Sensible people have already gained entry, legitimate or otherwise, long before those stuck outside the gate in the hope of camping right by the pyramid stage. Do yourselves a favour, stop being so tragically keen, and save yourselves the hassle. You'll still see everyone you want to see, and if you are camped in a spot not particularly near some pissers, well then that's what the bushes are for every morning. If you really must camp somewhere specific, get your mates in crew or the ones who have snuck in to aggressively save you a space near their tent. Rocket science it aint.