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CauliflowerEar

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  1. Anyone who turns up on Wednesday morning, or worse still actually sit's outside the gates all night from Tuesday, is an absolute philistine/mug. Look at me, I love Glastonbury so much im going to waste hours of my time in a queue to then go and camp in a field for 5 days anyway. The BBC might even interview me in my wellies! Get a grip. Topical at the moment, its a bit like dumb people who turn up at the airport 5 hours early for their flight and then find themselves queuing out of the door and wondering what's going on. Sensible people have already gained entry, legitimate or otherwise, long before those stuck outside the gate in the hope of camping right by the pyramid stage. Do yourselves a favour, stop being so tragically keen, and save yourselves the hassle. You'll still see everyone you want to see, and if you are camped in a spot not particularly near some pissers, well then that's what the bushes are for every morning. If you really must camp somewhere specific, get your mates in crew or the ones who have snuck in to aggressively save you a space near their tent. Rocket science it aint.
  2. They don't- its nonsense. Even more of a lie than when Shambala claim no one left a tent the other year. Whilst you are all giving yourselves big slaps on the back for showing each other pictures of your grass patch's (probably the most salacious thing some of you have ever done in your lives), just remember that because you all think you're so eco conscious, Glastonbury will have sent home scores of paid workers who come after the festival finishes early, so they wont have earned as much as they hoped/budgeted for. You have also denied refugees a free tent, 'tatters' a free tent and also the grid from receiving energy due to incineration of left over stuff. Its great that some shitty old tent is going to stay stashed in your shed for a whole year without being used, but please do not try and make out that you are some sort of Swampy because you took your tent home.
  3. Did you manage to get through on the phone?
  4. My early morning BA flight from Heathrow on the 11th also cancelled. They appear to have booked me on a flight 13 hours later which means i miss a whole day. Not particularly pleased about it, but not sure there is much that can be done about it.
  5. More likely this guy was huge a knobhead that likes to demand everyone obey the rules, he gets a kick out of it. You get these types at festivals sometimes. Sometimes i think that maybe they should just join the security team, although they are normally quite scrawny/nerdy so don't have the bollox to do that job, and would get instantly terrorised if they didn't have their clipboard and walkie talkie.
  6. You are making yourself look silly, at no point in this chat have i stated whether or not i had a ticket. You are making weird assumptions on my behalf. Whoops! And also, no idea what you are going on about this noodle guy. Maybe you should put your brilliant analytical skills to better use, as no one seems to care about your clever detective work on here, which turns out to be wrong anyway. Now, how about that powdered egg?
  7. No one cares about your 'camping quilts' mate. Although with your 'camping know-how', im sure you have some other thrilling tips to pass down to us. Perhaps you can advise on the best way to prepare a sachet of powdered egg each morning, or something else just as spectacularly boring?
  8. I don't know anyone on here mate, its an internet forum. Strange how you would assume otherwise. Run along now.
  9. Sneaking in can also mean you go through the gates and security channels. Your biggest enemy are normally those weird, cringey, creepy middle aged Oxfam supervisors with a walkie talkie.
  10. Next year ill need to bring more cocaine as mine ran out on Saturday night and i therefore had to go off in search of some, which wasted a couple of hours. In the end the stuff i got off some scousers was ok, but nowhere near as good as the stuff i get in London. I guess its a good idea to bring way more than you need, but with sniff it's easy to go overboard and not leave enough for Sunday. In terms of arrival, i normally turn up on Wednesday evening, after all the keen people have gone through. By then, the security cant be arsed to search your bag properly anymore as they have had a long day. This is good if you bring in large quantities of laughing gas to sell, as hiding multiple 100s of canisters can be tricky. Other than that, it doesn't really matter what time i arrive anyway because I am always assured of a good spot on Pennards, my mates have it all sorted. I find it hilarious that people queue overnight just to be first through the gates, little do they know there are people waiting in the wings having gained entry in the preceding days, who just before the gates open make their way over to the best spots to set up camp and save others space nearby.
  11. I had never heard of it, im common as muck. My diet is mostly cheeseburgers, pizza and Findus ready meals. Although, i would draw the line at enjoying a pie with ingredients including factory made sauce meant to mimic cuisine from India.
  12. Oh look! This guy has posted the most incredibly original meme of Michael Jackson eating popcorn! You sir, are a maverick and downright rib tickling funny 🙌
  13. nah, not you mate. The other guy @Barry Fish was debating with.
  14. Careful man. You are arguing with a bloke that is into naturism, 'hummus' and blueberries. I'd pick your battles if i were you 😂
  15. I quite like it when it rains, it sorts the wheat from the chaff. Its brilliant when you see a group of girls who are at Glastonbury due to a supposed 'bucket list' packing up their heels, garlands and specially bought clothes that they assume makes them look a bit edgy, and ruefully asking the nearest bouncer where the exit is and where they might be able to find their car. Particularly when its Friday morning, or earlier. Following a wet year you tend to see far less rubberneckers and general people that watched Glastonbury on the BBC the year before and thought it looked one hell of a hoot, that in my opinion make Glastonbury a far less fantastic place.
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