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More news from the front ....


sifi

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More breaking news : Hostilities enter into their forty sixth week.

(Reuters, 15 August 2006, the Reading / Leeds Forum )

From our reporter in the field : Hostilities entered into the their forty-sixth week today in the Pearl Jam thread, as another attempt to broker a cease-fire failed, and the blood letting arguments that have caused so much damage, unhappiness and taken so much bandwidth have now escalated to boiling point. The question is no longer over who is going to win the debate, but more about what the exact debate is about ; regardless, for those who live to tell the tale, the Pearl Jam thread is possibly the most violent episode in e-festivals posting history since the 'Is there a God?' thread of 2003/4.

Immediate reaction to the escalation of hostilities had been muted, given the reluctance of civilian population to come forward and discuss the matter, however, influential posters have called upon the e-festival administration to enforce some kind of peace ; at this time the e-festival administration is said to be too busy to broker a deal, however, our sources seem to indicate that the administration are happy to see the conflict continue in this secured and buffered thread - possibly with a view that it may spread to other areas of the site if the thread itself was closed. Although the administration has no official policy on that matter, stating it is the sovereign right of any legitimate boarder to post, the calls for thread closure are being taken very seriously, although by whom is not entirely clear at this stage.

Pro-peace organisations have been equally quiet on the subject. It is felt by many that the best way for ending of this conflict would be for the main protagonists to undertake mutually assured destruction, even at the high high cost of civilian collateral damage. However, the leader of what has become known as the Nora faction is a somewhat nebolous individual, whose title changes on a regular basis ; the faction have been thus far a patriarchy, a matriarchy before recently settling on a neo-religious dictatorship. This individual has been apparently killed before, only yto return. This faction is seen as disrupting a peaceful, if somewhat excitable, collection of indigenous peoples called the 'jammers', whose fluid membership seems to revolve around a couple of key members.

So what next for the thread? It's anticipated that the conflict will continue until a few days prior to the holy time of the Bank Holiday week-end ; when the Carling Week-end festival will take place - thereafter, it is hoped that the festival itself will answer the questions asked ; if not, the civilian population will need to ready itself for a long, drawn out engagement over the inhospitable months - by which time, according to jammers dogma, the great ones themselves will come down from Seattle above, and lay waste to the unbelievers before elevating the jammers to their rightful place in e-festivals folklore.

You can be assured that the Sifiblog will be monitoring events until their conclusion, despite the fact I always preferred Soundgarden anyway.

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