167 replies to this topic

[ourkideh]

I think this is the funniest thread I've ever read on here, well done all!  

[Ghostkiss]

This has to be the funniest thread I have ever read ........now of course I am in mortal terror as I am a longdrop virgin and my imagination is working overtime

[Bad Boy Bubby]

Langdale Wolf, on Apr 22 2008, 01:24 PM, said:

What the hell is wrong with you two????      

There ain't anything like emerging from a 20 minute, two smoke, good read long-drop dump at 6am; half a stone lighter. What the hell is wrong with that, I ask you?  

[balti-pie]

Amen to that, good brother. my first experience of the long drop was way back in the first flushes of my youth, back in 2005. it was the sunday morning of my first ever glastonbury festival, and i was backed up big time. i was somewhat intimidated by the portaloos, as i saw a hideous incident at the melbourne big day out the previous year, where some young soul was verily tipped over in a portaloo and the poor bastard was covered in theirs, and others, excrement. poor git. in 32 degree heat, too.
sod that, i thought. its the longdrops for me. it was a sunny sunday, approx half nine, and i trotted over to the longdrops by the greenfields entrance, bog paper in hand. i went straight into a central cubicle, saw the layout of a large and sturdy looking board with a convenient bum-shaped receptacle, and thought 'right - lets do this thing'.

it felt as if i had passed a baby crocodile.

i took the opportunity to check him out, down there in the morning sun, twinkling among a sea of. . . . well, just a sea. i admired him - and thought seriously about taking a photo for posterity, for truly he was a good 8 or 9 incher, and with not an inconsiderable girth!
i left him to live out his days there, and went back to me campsite with THE BROADEST GRIN ive managed. probably only spurs smacking arsenal 5-1 could match it for big rictus grins. the relief was amazing.
one hour later, with almost unbelievable timing, i needed another. so back it was to the long drops, for another momentous bowel movement.
never again will i trouble a portaloo with my arse. its open air, all the way!  
don't fear the longdrop: embrace it with, um, open cheeks!

[midnight_toker]

balti-pie, on Apr 22 2008, 04:20 PM, said:

it felt as if i had passed a baby crocodile.

  ahhh that is a great expression! One of those ones where you know exactly what someone means! That is gonna amuse me my whole way home, thanks!!

[Steve P]

When at Glasto the morning ritual is to have a good smoke and a cuppa first thing. Within seconds I'm ready to get rid of the previous days festival intake. Time to call in at the long drops on route to Jazz world for breakfast and some brothers pear. From then on I'm ready to take on the world.

And to think I used to try and store it all up for 5 days  

[Peachy]

Hazey Jamie, on Apr 22 2008, 04:52 PM, said:

it's too much!!!

are we having a thursday afternoon longdrop meet up?

Does a bear shit in the woods    we now have a forum

[swanbud]

Thank you so much for that one an all

Not laughed so much for a while.

[Chocky]

Langdale Wolf, on Apr 22 2008, 02:49 PM, said:

Having said that, the familar noise of 'clang' when you pass the nearest green 'stopping point' is extremely comforting.  It's like you KNOW you're finally home.

I know exactly what you mean, I can hear it now

sdaveak47, on Apr 22 2008, 03:02 PM, said:

I just like the vibe in the longdrops, i spend as much time in there as possible, sometimes when its all getting too much i like to get some noodles and milk shake then chill out in there for 30 mins or so

[soapysom]

i only went for a dump once last year and that was on the thursday morning. I didnt need to go again till the tuesday. Gees!! maybe i should have gone to see someone about that!!

[ollyrag]

balti-pie, on Apr 22 2008, 04:20 PM, said:

it felt as if i had passed a baby crocodile.

And they didn't beleive me about spashback

[Niblet]

decembers_spawn, on Apr 22 2008, 02:27 PM, said:

the long drops haunt me. I always worry about dropping my wallet in there lol

*touches cloth*

[greenblood]

Bad Boy Bubby, on Apr 22 2008, 05:03 PM, said:

There ain't anything like emerging from a 20 minute, two smoke, good read long-drop dump at 6am; half a stone lighter. What the hell is wrong with that, I ask you?  

Man after my own heart,every morning early,down for a cuppa then into long drop, light up,relax and sit there at peace with the world for a while. Absolute bliss knowing you aint gonna have to search later in the day for a "clean" seat

[Bad Boy Bubby]

balti-pie, on Apr 22 2008, 04:20 PM, said:

it felt as if i had passed a baby crocodile.

i took the opportunity to check him out, down there in the morning sun, twinkling among a sea of. . . . well, just a sea. i admired him - and thought seriously about taking a photo for posterity, for truly he was a good 8 or 9 incher, and with not an inconsiderable girth!
i left him to live out his days there....

Nice one buddy. The best I've ever managed was 4-5 inches.......but we only measure the bit that's not in  the water don't we? Don't we?  

[UEF]

In order of preference:

1) farmhouse flushing loos where someone hasn't pissed on the seat
2) famhouse flushing loos where someone has pissed on the seat
3) binbag in tent
4) longdrop
5) portaloo after its been cleaned (i.e., turned upside down)
6) portaloo in its natural state

[greenblood]

UEF, on Apr 22 2008, 06:16 PM, said:

In order of preference:

1) farmhouse flushing loos where someone hasn't pissed on the seat
2) famhouse flushing loos where someone has pissed on the seat
3) binbag in tent
4) longdrop
5) portaloo after its been cleaned (i.e., turned upside down)
6) portaloo in its natural state

You only put longdrops at No 4........seriously weird

[kabailey]

I generally look forward to the porcelain beauties at the first services back on the A303!

[souldancer]

Bad Boy Bubby, on Apr 22 2008, 02:23 PM, said:

You are not alone Hazey, I'm glad to say. Maybe we could start our own niche interweb site?

www.longdropdumpsrawk.org

Is your user name from the australian film?

[bagpuss]

balti-pie, on Apr 22 2008, 04:20 PM, said:

i took the opportunity to check him out, down there in the morning sun, twinkling among a sea of. . . . well, just a sea. i admired him - and thought seriously about taking a photo for posterity, for truly he was a good 8 or 9 incher, and with not an inconsiderable girth!

Did it look somthing like this POO PICTURE WARNING DO NOT CLICK IF YOU DO WANT TO SEE A POO PICTURE

Last years thread on poo. LINK

and spooky the same thing about pissing on someone elses balls is in there. maybe an glasto myth !

Edited by bagpuss, 22 April 2008 - 06:50 PM.

[babylona]

I dropped my stash down the longdrops once, on the 1st minute of the 1st day, and fished it out with my mates flagpole and a gel lid taped to the end........
Now i always check that there is nothing loose to disappear down there..

And that poo pic.... bloody hell..... smeone must have been constipated for a week! Jees...

Edited by babylona, 22 April 2008 - 07:06 PM.