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Guest Tallpaul

Funny Stories from Glastonbury

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This isn't really funny, but I need to get it off my chest and see if it has happened to anyone else.

I was watching beardyman last year, when I felt a sharp sense of pain on my neck. I turned round to find a girl with a tissue saying 'Sorry, I just had to squeeze that spot.' I can't recall my exact reply, but it was probably halfway between thanks and why?

I just want to know if anyone has ever squeezed, prodded or applied ointment to a stranger's skin complaints at Glastonbury?

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Urban dictionary.com states...

pop up pirate

Legendary character that allegedly made his first appearance at Leeds festival 2004, so named for his imitation of the childrenâ€s game where you stick swords in a barrel until the pirate "pops up". This particular version however involves the guy getting inside the disgusting pit below one of the toilet blocks, then waiting for someone to be about to urinate etc, then sticking his head out of the hole and shouting "POP UP PIRATE!!" Imitate at your own risk!

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This isn't really funny, but I need to get it off my chest and see if it has happened to anyone else.

I was watching beardyman last year, when I felt a sharp sense of pain on my neck. I turned round to find a girl with a tissue saying 'Sorry, I just had to squeeze that spot.' I can't recall my exact reply, but it was probably halfway between thanks and why?

I just want to know if anyone has ever squeezed, prodded or applied ointment to a stranger's skin complaints at Glastonbury?

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This is a bit horrible, but its gone down in glasto legend among my friends.

2008, saturday morning, un-named friend wakes up hung over (possibly still drunk), reaches out of tent for bottle of water, finds, evian bottle, sits on grass drinking it, 5 minutes later I emerge, 'shit, friend' I exclaim, 'that's john's vodka! oh crap, says friend, I kept on drinking it hoping to wash the taste of alcohol from my mouth, no wonder it kept on getting worse! But I quite like it now.....

We head down to glade at about midday, friend still has bottle in hand, long story short, he wandered off somewhere between 1pm and 3pm, no one is quite sure, was found again in the tent at about midnight, minus phone, wallet and glasses.

I wake him.....

friend! - 'shit have I got my glasses'

me - umm, they're not on you'

friend - damn, it wasn't a dream then,

Turns out, and I should add this is his only memory he has from the entire day. He was walking somewhere, needed to be sick, so stopped in his path and threw up, as he leaned forward his glasses fell from his face and he proceeded to continue to throw up on them. Not wanting to pick up his sick covered glasses he just walked off....

This is a level of drunkeness I never wish to replicate, vodka for breakfast is never a good idea.

lesson learned

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The last of my water pistol stories was round the back of the dance tent again, I had both of the water pistols loaded, I put one down the back of my pants and had the other in my hand, then as innocent passers by went past I ran up to them quickly and said "quick! quick! hold this!" and held out the water pistol, as they took hold of the water pistol I pulled the other one from behind my back and had a water fight with the innocent passer by :D

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Urban dictionary.com states...

pop up pirate

Legendary character that allegedly made his first appearance at Leeds festival 2004, so named for his imitation of the childrenâ€s game where you stick swords in a barrel until the pirate "pops up". This particular version however involves the guy getting inside the disgusting pit below one of the toilet blocks, then waiting for someone to be about to urinate etc, then sticking his head out of the hole and shouting "POP UP PIRATE!!" Imitate at your own risk!

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Saw a young lad by the toilets in the Acoustic Tent field last year with quite a scary mannequin head on a lomg stick. He waited around and either put it under the door or over the door or poked it over the urinal bit. Was hilarious watching and hearing people's reactions. Didn't catch me out i hasten to add. :D

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This is pretty awesome. And I'm pretty sure the Pop up Pirate thing is a myth. Nobody would do that, no matter what state of mind (or lack of) they ere in.

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I'm so glad I don't get that drunk! For drunk people falling on tents, I got a right strop on when someone fell on me in the night in '99, then loudly failed to put his tent up while drunkenly arguing with his missus for about an hour, exclaiming about broken poles and so on as it went on. I got up the following morning and there was a sorry state of a dome pitched next to us with one of the poles broken, tutted like a daily mail reader and wandered off for coffee. When I returned he had got up, apologised for the noise in the night, was really friendly and great company all weekend...taught me alot about glastonbury that man, he was sort of brilliant, sort of a tit and if you stop worrying so much about nonsense everything is more fun.

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I'm so glad I don't get that drunk! For drunk people falling on tents, I got a right strop on when someone fell on me in the night in '99, then loudly failed to put his tent up while drunkenly arguing with his missus for about an hour, exclaiming about broken poles and so on as it went on. I got up the following morning and there was a sorry state of a dome pitched next to us with one of the poles broken, tutted like a daily mail reader and wandered off for coffee. When I returned he had got up, apologised for the noise in the night, was really friendly and great company all weekend...taught me alot about glastonbury that man, he was sort of brilliant, sort of a tit and if you stop worrying so much about nonsense everything is more fun.

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In 2008, near the cider bus, after quite a few ciders and plenty of blasts on poppers, i think its a good idea to dip my cigarette in the poppers. I explaining to my mates that "it'll be like smoking poppers" I light the ciggy which goes up like a rocket! Burning my lips and chin. My mates, who said nothing to warn me of my antics are now rolling on the floor pi$$ing themselves laughing. Lesson learned!

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My husband lost his ticket trying to get back into the festival, he tried to explain to us the details on how he tried to let the stewards get him back in. All he said they took me to a 'caravan' :ph34r:. He didn't have to say anything else as we were all fell about laughing :D:D:lol:

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My husband lost his ticket trying to get back into the festival, he tried to explain to us the details on how he tried to let the stewards get him back in. All he said they took me to a 'caravan' :ph34r:. He didn't have to say anything else as we were all fell about laughing :D:D:lol:

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