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Guest Tallpaul

Funny Stories from Glastonbury

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Ok well this one actually comes from Reading 2000.

i had bought 3 bottles of poppers for the weekend :D

by the monday morning one had been finished off....another was nearly empty so i chucked it and the other one was full and unopened, but i couldn't find it. anyway i forgot about it and went home. when at home i was just coming out of the shower when i heard my mum screaming...i threw some clothes on quickly and went downstairs into our kitchen/dining room (open plan) too seem my mum writheing on the floor and my sleeping bag hanging out of the washing machine. it turned out that the lost bottle of poppers had infact been in the bottom of my sleeping bag and when she had put it in the machine to wash it had rolled out and smashed on the kitchen floor and my mum had taken the most hardcore sniff of poppers. ever anyway she was screaming "im going to die im going to die" so i tried to pick her up , this tickled her and so she started laughing loads whilst still sceaming "im going to die" , by this time the whole place stank of poppers and they started hitting me and i could barely contain myself either....i eventually put her in the lounge where she slept it off for about an hour. she came back into the kitchen a bit later and just said to me "next time leave things like that at the festival" and we have never spoken about it since :D:P

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I third this link request! I found people talking of the legendary story, but it appears to be too legendary, to the point no one seems to need to ask what it is! I'm glad i'm not alone in needing to ask!

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Urban dictionary.com states...

pop up pirate

Legendary character that allegedly made his first appearance at Leeds festival 2004, so named for his imitation of the childrenâs game where you stick swords in a barrel until the pirate "pops up". This particular version however involves the guy getting inside the disgusting pit below one of the toilet blocks, then waiting for someone to be about to urinate etc, then sticking his head out of the hole and shouting "POP UP PIRATE!!" Imitate at your own risk!

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This is pretty awesome. And I'm pretty sure the Pop up Pirate thing is a myth. Nobody would do that, no matter what state of mind (or lack of) they ere in.

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Great thread, I've no great stories to tell only the fact that when i was hitchhiking to Glasto in 2000 ... we left the poles for our (borrowed) tent at the side of the road which was a killer ... so we ended up sleeping under a tent with no poles lol & last year I left my sleeping bag with bits and bobs with it like socks and flag on the coach. Needless to say, this year we will be traveling in our own car lol.

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Great thread, I've no great stories to tell only the fact that when i was hitchhiking to Glasto in 2000 ... we left the poles for our (borrowed) tent at the side of the road which was a killer ... so we ended up sleeping under a tent with no poles lol & last year I left my sleeping bag with bits and bobs with it like socks and flag on the coach. Needless to say, this year we will be traveling in our own car lol.

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Last year, near the Other Stage.

There was a wallet lying in the path. Someone bent down to pick it up (whether to nick it or to hand it in is unknown), a group of lads drinking cans by their tent tugged on the fishing line leading to it, and whipped it out of the way. Then fell about laughing. Then put it back. Then did it again. Fell about laughing. And again. Fell about laughing.

I agree with them. It was bloody funny.

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This was actually in Benicassim. My mate was quite f**ked and is also short sighted. In the distance there were three women with litter pickers making their way through the crowd seeking out litter, my friend squinted his eyes and then exclaimed, 'three of the fittest blind women I've ever seen' it was the reaction of the stranger next to me that made it all the funnier

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Aw mate what a bummer! :(

Still survived (and probably had a great time in the process) though!

Just a tip....dont be losing your car key this year! Ok? Judging on your luck its the most likely thing to happen...

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Howdy :D have been following these forums for years and gained muchos amusement & handy tips along the way, finally got round to registering recently & at last have found a thread i felt obliged to post on - yay!

First time my festie mates & i headed to glasto in 2000, we had an inddy biddy stereo system with us & the obigatory copy of GnR Appetite for Destruction on late at night, following copious amounts of vodka & a nullifying game of sidekick luckydip.

Then from out of nowhere in the middle of the guitar solo of welcome to the jungle, a long-haired lovely hurdled over my mates tent, only to land perfectly on his knees with an arched back playing air guitar, looking like he made that kind of jump every time he went down the biscuit aisle in tesco. come the end of the song he stayed for a quick drinkee poo whilst spouting some crap about being in the semi-final of the world air guitar championships...blah blah

End result left us feeling in a bit of a whirl, struggling not to wet our pants with laughter & unsure for days if it was just the mushrooms - until we got home and googled it - no s*** we were in fits when we saw the guys photo on the championship website :lol:

and to this day and too many more festivals to count behind me, not one has ever come close to the hilarity of that night - but then again i don't think anything ever tops your 1st glasto experience - air guitar hero or not!

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Howdy :) have been following these forums for years and gained muchos amusement & handy tips along the way, finally got round to registering recently & at last have found a thread i felt obliged to post on - yay!

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Great first post!!

Just a couple of stories,

First one from Leeds festival a few years back, a close friend of mine, Lilly, she gets into the centre of leeds, to get on a coach to the festival, lugs all her stuff on the coach sign posted 'FESTIVAL'. Sure enough, an our or so later, she rings me, crying her eyes out, stood at creamfields, Liverpool. Gutted!

Also, Glastonbury, 2005 i think it was, saturday night, few too many mushrooms, headed up to the stone circle, only to be approached by Norman Cook dressed in a patchwork leotard, and a sparkly red wig, trying to sell us space cakes.

Last year we camped just behinf the salsa tent in the dance village, as the early hours came, having more than a few too many, we all went for a dance, this one night there was an instructor, showing me a few moves, this lady was a very attractive, older lady, id say mid to late 40's, she was tip top. 5 minutes go past, starting to get the hang of things, she askes me if i know what to do next, to which i reply 'take you back to my tent and have some fun' Sure enough, a firm slap and abit of abuse follows. Normally in quite a quiet lad, nice and polite, but the mood and spirit of the festival got the better of me,

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2007 in the mud !

My mate buys some wellies. But being a bit portly , cannot really get them on due to his ample

calfs.

Pesters a mate something rotten about borrowing his knife so he can cut em down to his ankles.

Then has to spend ages trying to cut welly rubber , with a bluntish knife !

But it is all my mates fault for not bringing a sharp blade !

Then he knackers the knife big time !

;)

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chicken.JPG

not really a story so i'm cheating but just found this pic and it made me smile

it was 07 when arctics were on pyramid.. did anyone else encounter 'The Lord' ??

dont remember seeing the chickern or even taking the picture but time/date prove that's when it was

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At V a fews years back, a group of us were sat around our tents having a few beers and a chat.

One of the girls falls through her deck chair - the canvas breaks!

We all cheer, some-one takes a photo and we point and laugh etc.

Then, some-one balances the canvas carefully back in place and we wait!

Didn't take long before we had several victims, each greeted with a cheer, a photo and ridicule.

Some-one that, I think, was pitched up near us (but clearly hadn't seen what happened previously) wanders in and gets a wee bit lairy, says something rude/angry. some-one tells him 'alright, calm down.......take a seat!

Well,we roared with laughter! The guy hung around for a few more minutes sheepish as anything before buggering off, never to be seen again!

We got 17 in total that weekend with the chair!

At glasto 04, watching the England game i think, or it may have been the chemical brothers, anyhow.......

My mate has never been before, is lovin it, takes a pic of the crowd.

he looks at it and goes 'bloody hell, there's some-one down there that really looks like me'

I take the phone, have a look and reply... 'you were holding the phone round the wrong way round, that is you!'

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