F*cked people 2017

[Matt42]

This thread was jokes last year - waiting to see if anyone was going to make it before me.

share your stories of some of the most fucked up people you saw this year.

I saw a guy dressed as a wizard genuinely unable to put one foot infront of the other at around 11am on the Friday. He was stumbling until he fell completely on top of this poor glamour girl who had the shock of her life. Security had to come and escort him away... was a sight watching three security guards attempting to help one man walk straight!

Also to add, Saturday night at bloc 9 in the early hours of the morning I was apparently asking my mates for suncream because "the lights were burning me". Fuck knows what was going on there - must of looked like a right twat putting suncream on at night...

[6t6o6m]

Me, other stage at about 1/2am.

I was pissed, decided to have a sit down against a flag pole (bad idea). Fell asleep, woke up in confusion and couldn't move. Had to phone friends to come and get me. Damn I was a state. Apologies for anyone that had to witness that.

[Quark]

Think I saw a new record set for speed of descent this year. Out for a wander, guy in the Other field with two response guys around him, making an absolutely spectacular but ultimately vain attempt to stand up.

4pm on Wednesday.

[chatty]

I could make this thread anytime between Tuesday 9pm till about Sunday 5pm.

[MilkyJoe]

9 minutes ago, Matt42 said:

 

I saw a guy dressed as a wizard genuinely unable to put one foot infront of the other at around 11am on the Friday.

You shall not pass!

[Doug85]

Friday morning on the railway line a bloke walking home from the naughty corner with no shoes on dressed as a dinosaur telling us all that he is sure another dinosaur stole his shoes but it's all ok as dinosaurs don't wear shoes....he was totally fucked. 

[deebeedoobee]

Guy at other stage on Sunday 11am watching Slaves. His gyros were awesome. He stayed upright with eyes closed whilst wobbling but never bumping into the people around him. Very large biker type was behind him and you could tell by the body language he was ready to either catch him or nut him. I hope it was the former. Anyway the bloke managed to weave his way out the crowd and on him way. I hope he had a good Sunday

[Larraht]

Walking through the woods late at night on Saturday and wanted someone to take a picture of me and my partner. Didn't realise how mashed some guy was until I handed him my phone and he spent a good few minutes trying to work out how to balance and hold the phone at the same time. I now have about 40 photos of the floor with the occasional squiggle of light in them. The guys respnse was 'sorry if they are a bit blurry' and off he stumbled.

[Madyaker]

I noticed less fucked people this year, at least not anyone that was more fucked than I was.

[6t6o6m]

Come to think of it, loads of people were off their faces watching Anderson .paak, it was quite entertaining watching them. One girl had Coke all over her face, she wasn't even hiding it.

[nikkic]

Guy by West Holts toilets half hour before Justice, swaying wildly. He was starting to undue his trousers next to a bush, I presumed he was going to start pissing in them, so I told him politely the toilets were just there. He looked at me and said, "yeah you're right mate, sorry"

When I passed him on the way out, still stood in the same place and swaying, it was very clear he was pissing himself, with his light grey shorts still on and an ever increasing wet patch. 

[ivan]

Last night about 10.30 walking upto Stone Circle.

A lad walked up past us holding his mobile , which he then ended the call , turned to us and said laughingly

" I have just told my mate I am heading back to the car parks -

I told him to stay safe and be careful up there and he replied

" I don't do drugs anymore I am 27 "

Wonder if his mate is still waiting for him and if he I still up at the Stone Circle ?

 

 

[Homer]

I don't think I've ever seen anyone freak out before in over 20 years but did this year. Girl rolling around on the floor on the path as I left Avalanches.She was shouting gibberish. Not nice. Saw someone collapsed on the railway track too. At some stupid time in the morning.

[FloorFiller]

Girl did a ridiculous amount of ket in front of me during The xx and then, inevitably through the set, got deeper and deeper down a k-hole before having to be carried out. The slow spiral of having the time of her life to regretting every decision she's ever made in her life was quite something to watch.

[jonodillieono]

Some cretin who shat himself in shangri la on Friday and had to have his girlfriend clean his shit stained ballsack as he was unable to do it himself

[chatty]

We were talking to one of the stewards yesterday and he said a bad batch of MDMA had been going round and there was a liad of people rendered unconscious around the place needing medical help due to it so that might explain some of the states. A bad batch has killed some in Manchester as well so might be worth steering clear of that for a few weeks for those who partake. 

That said, Ive seen many rendered unconscious from alcohol as well. 

[Matt - Ed Banger Records]

I was a complete and utter state on both Friday and Saturday, woke up in the composting toilets at about 7.30am, lord knows how long I was in there for, thoroughly paying for it now. 

[yehbutnobut]

Unfortunately & very painfully I wasn't there this weekend, but this is my favourite thread so far...

[mrfunk]

35 minutes ago, chatty said:

We were talking to one of the stewards yesterday and he said a bad batch of MDMA had been going round and there was a liad of people rendered unconscious around the place needing medical help due to it so that might explain some of the states. A bad batch has killed some in Manchester as well so might be worth steering clear of that for a few weeks for those who partake. 

That said, Ive seen many rendered unconscious from alcohol as well. 

I really think that this should of been broadcasted on twitter ! Or g app etc, potentially could of helped someone

 

[bsolxiv]

52 minutes ago, jonodillieono said:

Some cretin who shat himself in shangri la on Friday and had to have his girlfriend clean his shit stained ballsack as he was unable to do it himself

True love 

[jonodillieono]

10 minutes ago, bsolxiv said:

True love 

She is a keeper like <3

[robu]

We stood beside the left soundstage for Radiohead. Within minutes of the start, security were hauling one casualty after another out of the crowd. They were in a right panic, shouts of 'we got another down' going round as they hauled them out. Some of the casualties could just about walk, but several were comatose. They were all very pale, some with blue lips and eyes wide open, but unconscious. At one point, about ten minutes after Radiohead came on, they were five in a row, lying flat on the ground at the back of the soundstage, medical staff trying to treat them, but there were more casualties than medics, so some were being left unattended while security dived into the crowd to get the next casualty.

Not pretty. 

[Gucci Piggy]

Woke up in my porch at 5am Monday morning drenched in what I can only assume was my own piss (I have a vague memory of having a piss in my porch in the same area that I woke up in). Checked my watch and saw it was 5 o'clock and couldn't work out for ages whether it was 5am or 5pm the previous day. Then I remembered I'd seen Biffy Clyro so knew it must be 5am. This followed on from how fucked I was at Justice where I apparently annoyed a lot of people walking to the back of the crowd towards the end. Apparently a girl next to me thought the best way to help me in my awful state was to hold me up and give me alcohol all the way through the set much to the annoyance of my friend also holding me up. Had a big old nosebleed during the set but don't really remember doing anything dumb thankfully other than not being able to stand.

I really need to stop doing toilet things in my tent. That's the second time I've pissed all over the inside of it because I decided I was too drunk to get to the toilet.

[dazednconfused]

This thread makes me feel like a model citizen - although I did get lost on Thursday on my way back from the loos back at West Holts - couldn't remember which bar we were in...

thankfully my mates turned up just in time... 

[Wooderson]

13 hours ago, Matt - Ed Banger Records said:

I was a complete and utter state on both Friday and Saturday, woke up in the composting toilets at about 7.30am, lord knows how long I was in there for, thoroughly paying for it now. 

Wtf