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Pre-Glastonbury Break Up


brain yolk!
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Hi.

 

I had a similar experience in 2010. After 10 years my partner left me. We had planned in going together but he returned his ticket. I went on my own (not something I'd usually do)

A guy on this site from my local town contacted me out of the blue and offered me a lift. It worked out fantastically and we had a blast. Met some great friends along the way. I can honestly say going to Glastonbury on my own was one if the best experiences in my life. Go, have fun and meet new people, you won't regret.

Jo

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This happened to me in 2009. He told me he wasn't going to go anymore but I could have his ticket money if I could get it refunded. I was still definitely going and managed to get his ticket refunded and used the money as festival spending money. I had a fantastic festival!!

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Be kind to yourself when you there. If you feel overwhelmed, take yourself away to the healing fields for a bit. Or sit eg at the west holts in the sunshine.

Avoid getting completely out of it as alcohol etc can worsen anxiety etc the next day. 

Talk to randoms. We're all in the same boat facing the same issues at different points, aren't we and everyone is there to have as good a time as possible.

Lastly, remember that in 10 years time; you'll remember Radiohead etc and not how you felt about this current breakup.

 

 

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44 minutes ago, barkley87 said:

This happened to me in 2009. He told me he wasn't going to go anymore but I could have his ticket money if I could get it refunded. I was still definitely going and managed to get his ticket refunded and used the money as festival spending money. I had a fantastic festival!!

This would be the dream.

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I went through this a few weeks ago. Our entire group was all friends with the missus before me, so I'm understandably having to go solo. I've joined the Camp Solo crew and feeling really positive about the whole experience now!

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Thanks everyone for your comments - genuinely making me feel better about the situation.

I'm inevitably going to have some low moments I reckon. A few songs/bands might be a bit difficult. Definitely steering clear of The Jacksons for fear of them playing "I Want You Back". Most of The National will be a bit of a joke too haha. 

But yeah, you're all right - it's my favourite place in the world and I'm with some incredibly good, supportive people constantly for 5 days straight.

Will make sure I'm on the cider, having a laugh as much as possible and having a better time than she is.

 

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It has to be the best place in the world to deal with it! Talk to as many random people as you can, who knows what might happen!

I have sort of the reverse situation going on. Going with my two best friends where we've built something really special over the last year or so with our mutual love of music and in particular Radiohead. I've had a gigantic crush on one of the two pretty much the whole time, which I did tell her about, but she didn't feel the same.

Then last month she got together with my other best mate :(. Thankfully we are going with other people as well, but I really haven't been feeling great about it since they told me and it's definitely stalled my Glasto excitement. They haven't been rubbing my nose in it or anything, and of course they are the same friends they were before, it's just so hard to get used to, watching them go back to their tent together etc.

Sigh.

Edited by theevilfridge
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Don't let the dread of bumping into her ruin your weekend, it's incredibly unlikely, she might as well not be there at all.

With that in mind do what you wanna do, don't turn down any potential opportunity to have fun.

Be Positive Peter not Negative Norman. 

Whatever you do, don't get wasted and start texting her ;)

Actually, leave your phone at home so she can't text you either.

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38 minutes ago, theevilfridge said:

It has to be the best place in the world to deal with it! Talk to as many random people as you can, who knows what might happen!

I have sort of the reverse situation going on. Going with my two best friends where we've built something really special over the last year or so with our mutual love of music and in particular Radiohead. I've had a gigantic crush on one of the two pretty much the whole time, which I did tell her about, but she didn't feel the same.

Then last month she got together with my other best mate :(. Thankfully we are going with other people as well, but I really haven't been feeling great about it since they told me and it's definitely stalled my Glasto excitement. They haven't been rubbing my nose in it or anything, and of course they are the same friends they were before, it's just so hard to get used to, watching them go back to their tent together etc.

Sigh.

Sorry to hear of that mate. It's shit but right now it's easy to forget that a few months down the line it'll probably all be in the past and forgotten. 

Listen, if at any point you fancy a change of scenery, drop us a text (dm me on here if you want) and we can have a moan over a pint.

Edited by brain yolk!
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3 hours ago, brain yolk! said:

Got a bit of a bombshell dropped on me at the weekend as a long term girlfriend broke up with me - it was completely out of the blue, totally unexpected and slightly manic. We were originally going together, but thankfully we're both going with separate groups of mates as well.

Regardless, my usual excitement levels have inevitably dropped a fair bit and I'm a bit all over the place. I'm 100% still going and hope it'll help, but it feels weird to know she'll be there too considering we've had some great experiences together at Glasto. 

I was wondering if anyone else has been through a similar situation before - any advice or suggestions?

Not the same but.....I have been on and off seeing someone for a while. I am not ashamed to say I am mad on her and have been for years. We were friends, but things became more. She said she didn't want anything serious and I respect that, even though it has been hard. I spoke to her 10 days ago and she said I could see her "when you come back from Glastonbury"... but I found out yesterday that she stayed the night at someone's on Friday. Let's just say I am pretty cut up about it. I can't have a go at her because we were not official or anything, but it has hit me pretty hard.

Today I even thought about not going, for about 5 seconds.

She wont be at the festival. So it isn't the same situation. I'm not gunna bullshit you about "plenty of fish in the sea" because at the minute, I feel like everything I had planned myself has gone down the toilet - so you must feel worse.

If you think "she'd definitely be at band X, and I am not bothered" - don't go there. Go for a walk, do something else, have a new experience... but don't allow her to dictate what you do. Have the festival you want. Spend time with your mates who care about you, but most of all Enjoy it.

 

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31 minutes ago, FuzzyDunlop said:

Not the same but.....I have been on and off seeing someone for a while. I am not ashamed to say I am mad on her and have been for years. We were friends, but things became more. She said she didn't want anything serious and I respect that, even though it has been hard. I spoke to her 10 days ago and she said I could see her "when you come back from Glastonbury"... but I found out yesterday that she stayed the night at someone's on Friday. Let's just say I am pretty cut up about it. I can't have a go at her because we were not official or anything, but it has hit me pretty hard.

Today I even thought about not going, for about 5 seconds.

She wont be at the festival. So it isn't the same situation. I'm not gunna bullshit you about "plenty of fish in the sea" because at the minute, I feel like everything I had planned myself has gone down the toilet - so you must feel worse.

If you think "she'd definitely be at band X, and I am not bothered" - don't go there. Go for a walk, do something else, have a new experience... but don't allow her to dictate what you do. Have the festival you want. Spend time with your mates who care about you, but most of all Enjoy it.

 

Sounds shit as well mate. 

Cheers - some good advice. I certainly won't be allowing her to dictate who I do and don't see for fear of running into her. She's got a somewhat shite taste in music in all honesty so dodged a bullet there.

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Im in the same boat.... except i have to camp with them! Determined to do my thing and have a good time. On the plus side everyone on here seems super friendly so chances are you'll make new friends no problem (that's what Im telling myself anyway) :D

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Don't try and meet up during the fest! One of our lot last year had split up with her fella a month or so before and by Friday was going to meet up with him, barely saw her Saturday and she got off early on Sunday. That's how not to do it.

Focus on enjoying yourself as much as possible. Sounds like your head is in the right space to do it. Chin up!

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23 minutes ago, brain yolk! said:

Sounds shit as well mate. 

Cheers - some good advice. I certainly won't be allowing her to dictate who I do and don't see for fear of running into her. She's got a somewhat shite taste in music in all honesty so dodged a bullet there.

Ha ha... good news!!

My situation isn't the best. I haven't spoken to her since I found out... I haven't braved that yet. As she made it clear she wanted nothing serious.. can I even mention it? It will probably lead to an argument that I don't want and neither of us deserve - solely because I am hurt. 

I'm thinking about just leaving it till after the festival. I've decided not to take my phone, so at no point can I be tempted to find out what she is up to.

Genuinely hope you have the best week of your life. Glastonbury is a place like no other and if anywhere can make things right - even just for the week, it's Worthy Farm.

Have a ball mate.

 

Edited by FuzzyDunlop
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20 minutes ago, FuzzyDunlop said:

Ha ha... good news!!

My situation isn't the best. I haven't spoken to her since I found out... I haven't braved that yet. As she made it clear she wanted nothing serious.. can I even mention it? It will probably lead to an argument that I don't want and neither of us deserve - solely because I am hurt. 

I'm thinking about just leaving it till after the festival. I've decided not to take my phone, so at no point can I be tempted to find out what she is up to.

Genuinely hope you have the best week of your life. Glastonbury is a place like no other and if anywhere can make things right - even just for the week, it's Worthy Farm.

Have a ball mate.

 

We've all been there, mate, but your own advice is spot on here. As tempting as it is to go down that confrontation rabbit hole it's almost certainly best not to. If you're rational enough to see that now you're already half way there. 

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25 minutes ago, FuzzyDunlop said:

Ha ha... good news!!

My situation isn't the best. I haven't spoken to her since I found out... I haven't braved that yet. As she made it clear she wanted nothing serious.. can I even mention it? It will probably lead to an argument that I don't want and neither of us deserve - solely because I am hurt. 

I'm thinking about just leaving it till after the festival. I've decided not to take my phone, so at no point can I be tempted to find out what she is up to.

Genuinely hope you have the best week of your life. Glastonbury is a place like no other and if anywhere can make things right - even just for the week, it's Worthy Farm.

Have a ball mate.

 

Mate, all I want to do is give you Bunk Moreland advice, but it all seems inappropriate. I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

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5 minutes ago, popcornmaster said:

We've all been there, mate, but your own advice is spot on here. As tempting as it is to go down that confrontation rabbit hole it's almost certainly best not to. If you're rational enough to see that now you're already half way there. 

Thanks for that. That has made me feel better about my mental state.

I think that because she hasn't technically done anything wrong, I'm just hurt. She has always been honest with me. I can accept that, even if I get an answer I don't want to hear.... plus I don't want to jeopardise any possible future (maybe that's just wishful thinking) 

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5 minutes ago, FuzzyDunlop said:

Thanks for that. That has made me feel better about my mental state.

I think that because she hasn't technically done anything wrong, I'm just hurt. She has always been honest with me. I can accept that, even if I get an answer I don't want to hear.... plus I don't want to jeopardise any possible future (maybe that's just wishful thinking) 

Aye, I know the exact feeling/situation.

No phone. Good mates. Music for days. Poison of choice - You'll feel refreshed on the other side. 

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36 minutes ago, FuzzyDunlop said:

Ha ha... good news!!

My situation isn't the best. I haven't spoken to her since I found out... I haven't braved that yet. As she made it clear she wanted nothing serious.. can I even mention it? It will probably lead to an argument that I don't want and neither of us deserve - solely because I am hurt. 

I'm thinking about just leaving it till after the festival. I've decided not to take my phone, so at no point can I be tempted to find out what she is up to.

Genuinely hope you have the best week of your life. Glastonbury is a place like no other and if anywhere can make things right - even just for the week, it's Worthy Farm.

Have a ball mate.

 

As unbelievably hard as it is, I'd say it's always best not to say something about this. I've been there before and making the comment feels almost irresistible through hurt and jealousy, but it never ends well and always ends up damaging things longer term.

Like you suggested yourself, just leave it until after the festival. Have an amazing time, be good to yourself and then let yourself get your head together for a week or so after Glastonbury (as hard as that can be post-Glasto). Once you're ready, I'd speak to her and be totally honest about your feelings for her - it's up to her then.

Same with you mate - hope you can get your mind off things. Have an amazing time and I hope things work out for you and her.

 

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3 hours ago, brain yolk! said:

Sorry to hear of that mate. It's shit but right now it's easy to forget that a few months down the line it'll probably all be in the past and forgotten. 

Listen, if at any point you fancy a change of scenery, drop us a text (dm me on here if you want) and we can have a moan over a pint.

Yeah, that is (hopefully) going to turn out to be true. I did have to get over her, and this is a brutal way of that happening, but with any luck I can manage it eventually.

And I may just do that :)

Shout out to Fuzzy as well! This is the thing, the hurt is still there even when nobody's actually done anything wrong to you :(.

Your situations are definitely worse than mine, it's just you don't have to spend all of Glasto with them, watching Radiohead and weeping at Nude/Fake Plastic Trees/etc in full view...

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Found out her daughter was taken to hospital today... so I had to contact her.

I mentioned nothing other than concern for them both. Difficult to speak to her,  but I had to do it.

Thanks to everyone who replied. Its has genuinely helped.

Enjoy your festival!

 

Edited by FuzzyDunlop
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