flushing toilets

[Little Andy]

12 hours ago, sime said:

"Haaaaave a poo poo poo, when you need to, have a poo. Don't be shy, don't be scared, just sit down and pass it through." 

It's incredible that I've never heard those lyrics before, but I can tell that it's to the tune of agadoo. 

[zak14]

3 hours ago, eastynh said:

Mate I am 7 months into a Crohns flare and unfotunately finished my course of steroids last week. I would take your crown with ease.

Oh that sucks, i dont know how the steroids treat you but they'd be perfect for me at glasto, full energy all the time and need little sleep (and the poo thing sorts itself out obviously)

[Skelts]

First time I went to Glasto (2015) I was actually excited to use the long drops for the first time.  Felt like a rite of passage. So to speak.

[sime]

2 hours ago, Little Andy said:

It's incredible that I've never heard those lyrics before, but I can tell that it's to the tune of agadoo. 

Yes it is. You win 1000 points and a luxury caravan for noticing

[giantkatestacks]

re the water usage - I got this email today from vanity van who are now operating out of the pop-up motel at astonidshing prices:

'Unfortunately we are not able to operate in the festival with hair washing facilities anymore due to our high level of water usage which the festival are consciously trying to reduce. '

Probably relevant to the flushers as well.

 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

5 hours ago, Woffy said:

Heh. 

However, remember that shit TV show The Salon? They used to film people getting their haircut while being chatted to. Or receiving other beauty treatments. 

One episode a woman came in for colonic irrigation at the behest of her friends and family. She didn't seem to believe she had an issue. 

Transpired she had about 4 shits a year and suffered no discomfort and ate normally / healthily. 

That said, the irrigation process could barely handle the amount of compacted waste rinsed out of her. She had a space the size of a golf ball left in her bowels for food, and felt marvellous afterwards. 

Not sure where I'm going with this. It's all gone a bit @Yoghurt on a Stick (Who I admire deeply). 

Carry on. 

Hello Woffy,

Thanks for the mention within your colonic irrigation story. I'm flattered.  

Actually I have a story (probably told on here before) about colonic irrigation. There used to be a shop near my last house which sold sweets by the weight in a bag. The whole shop had different plastic containers of varying sweets, with each container having a little plastic shovel in it for customers to use in transporting the sweets from the plastic tubs in to plastic bags.

Anyway, the above shop closed down and was replaced by a health outlet providing colonic irrigation. However, when they were doing up the clinic from it being a sweet shop, they, at one point, had both the sweet shops signage up and the new clinic's signage up. The result of this was that the main (new clinic) signage read 'Colonic Irrigation' then underneath this was the old sweet shop signage which read 'Scoop as much or as little as you want'. When you read the two together you'll get the picture.

I meant to go up and photograph the signage, but never got around to doing so. 

[eastynh]

6 hours ago, zak14 said:

Oh that sucks, i dont know how the steroids treat you but they'd be perfect for me at glasto, full energy all the time and need little sleep (and the poo thing sorts itself out obviously)

Haha they are not them kind of Steroids mate. They stop you bleeding inside but they are really no good for you. They are the last thing I would advise someone to take at a festival. There are other pills and powders out there that would suit your particular needs 

[Woffy]

3 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Hello Woffy,

Thanks for the mention within your colonic irrigation story. I'm flattered.  

Actually I have a story (probably told on here before) about colonic irrigation. There used to be a shop near my last house which sold sweets by the weight in a bag. The whole shop had different plastic containers of varying sweets, with each container having a little plastic shovel in it for customers to use in transporting the sweets from the plastic tubs in to plastic bags.

Anyway, the above shop closed down and was replaced by a health outlet providing colonic irrigation. However, when they were doing up the clinic from it being a sweet shop, they, at one point, had both the sweet shops signage up and the new clinic's signage up. The result of this was that the main (new clinic) signage read 'Colonic Irrigation' then underneath this was the old sweet shop signage which read 'Scoop as much or as little as you want'. When you read the two together you'll get the picture.

I meant to go up and photograph the signage, but never got around to doing so. 

I tell you what else we still haven't got around to doing, Yog: collecting your stories / posts together for a book. 

[Mr Splodge]

13 hours ago, Rubber Soldier said:

I'm guessing you meant for this to be the "State of the ground" thread? 

Sorry was a bit tired

[Rubber Soldier]

4 minutes ago, Mr Splodge said:

Sorry was a bit tired

Hey, an update is an update. 

[verrymerry]

The flushing loo I used in 2015 wouldn't flush 

I'm 100% for the compost loos!

And for all you guys considering taking something so you don't need to do a poo, that's a baaaaaad idea.  The toilets are fine, just go and be done with it.  We all do it!

[mashedonmud]

How not to use the toilets at Glastonbury.

Take some pills. (this is known to make you stand at the urinals for far to long making awkward chat with another soul who's straining for a piss that their body will not allow)

Take some mandy. (as above)

Snort a line. (the receiver of the line will spend the next two hours so busy chatting excitedly about themselves that they'll forget all about needing either a piss or a shit) Repeat after two hours.

Drop some acid ( This will result in you spending a lot of time at the long drops, mainly because of the pretty colours, contorted faces of passer bys and the all out attack on the senses. Thats some far out shit man.)

 

I know nothing of these experiences and base my study on pure guess work. I would never encourage such activities but all seem much more attractive tham imodium due to the side effects that imodium doesn't give.

Edited June 15, 2017 by mashedonmud

[Gucci Piggy]

12 hours ago, Woffy said:

Glastonbury Festival wouldn't be Glastonbury Festival without #5shitFriday

All pre-noon. 

 

@Quark I haven't forgotten. 

First year I went to Leeds for the full weekend my mate had 10 shits on Friday morning. Had half of them in his tent (must be something about my friend group). After a couple of his shits he decided to have a cold tin of beans which went straight through him and aided with the remaining 7 or so shits.

He wasn't really in my friend group but he used to talk to me about Radiohead and White Lies in Geography and he had no one to go with so tagged along. We wished he didn't after that Friday morning.

[fur_q]

1 hour ago, mashedonmud said:

How not to use the toilets at Glastonbury.

Take some pills. (this is known to make you stand at the urinals for far to long making awkward chat with another soul who's straining for a piss that their body will not allow)

Take some mandy. (as above)

Snort a line. (the receiver of the line will spend the next two hours so busy chatting excitedly about themselves that they'll forget all about needing either a piss or a shit) Repeat after two hours.

Drop some acid ( This will result in you spending a lot of time at the long drops, mainly because of the pretty colours, contorted faces of passer bys and the all out attack on the senses. Thats some far out shit man.)

 

I know nothing of these experiences and base my study on pure guess work. I would never encourage such activities but all seem much more attractive tham imodium due to the side effects that imodium doesn't give.

 I once came up  (very strongly and very suddenly)  on some shrooms at the exact moment I was pissing in a urinal unfortunately it was one of those back to back (or should that be front to front) ounes so I was stood pissing and laughing hysterically whilst staring into the face of the person pissing in the opposite urinal. It  was on the Thursday of 2005 (mega storm night) so the urinal incident ended up being one of the least surreal moment of the night... Think I'm starting to sound a bit like @Yoghurt on a Stick here. 

[musky]

4 minutes ago, fur_q said:

 I once came up  (very strongly and very suddenly)  on some shrooms at the exact moment I was pissing in a urinal unfortunately it was one of those back to back (or should that be front to front) ounes so I was stood pissing and laughing hysterically whilst staring into the face of the person pissing in the opposite urinal. It  was on the Thursday of 2005 (mega storm night) so the urinal incident ended up being one of the least surreal moment of the night... Think I'm starting to sound a bit like @Yoghurt on a Stick here. 

Probably no bad thing. I'm starting to think we should all sound a bit more like Yoghurt on a Stick.

[Superscally]

17 hours ago, Chicken Bob said:

why do people always talk about the flushing loos. I can't wait to get a whiff of the long drops. When that smell coats the inside of my nostrils I know I'm there!! It's the moment I've been waiting all year for. also there's nothing more liberating than taking a dump in a wheelie bin and covering it with decomposing foliage. It's what Glasto is all about. When I get home I don't flush my toilet for a month so it smells like a long drop. It helps me get over the glasto blues. 

I like to go in people's tents during the headliners.

[Woffy]

1 hour ago, Will-2609 said:

First year I went to Leeds for the full weekend my mate had 10 shits on Friday morning. Had half of them in his tent (must be something about my friend group). After a couple of his shits he decided to have a cold tin of beans which went straight through him and aided with the remaining 7 or so shits.

He wasn't really in my friend group but he used to talk to me about Radiohead and White Lies in Geography and he had no one to go with so tagged along. We wished he didn't after that Friday morning.

It's sometimes crosses my mind, William - puzzles me in fact - that you're far cleverer than me, highly intelligent, evidently; will achieve much more in life than I; and will have a really quite lovely life.

But I've never shat on a fucking plate, at a festival. Or anywhere/when. And yet you have. 

And you like Muse.

I envy you, dude. X

[Woffy]

9 minutes ago, Superscally said:

I like to go in people's tents during the headliners.

Shut up, you! No you don't!

This isn't the bushes in Tennessee. 

[Superscally]

32 minutes ago, Woffy said:

Shut up, you! No you don't!

This isn't the bushes in Tennessee. 

I can't wait for Ed Sheeran. Kidney Mead can't imagine the horrors that await on their return.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

@ fur_q & @ musky

[H.M.V]

Must have had a bad experience of the composters cos not feeling the love for them myself. Our ones had the sides falling down so unless you were comfortable chatting to your neighbor while squeezing out mr poo it was a no no. Long drops for me. 

I'm just happy I finally got over the stage fright. 

[Woffy]

4 hours ago, H.M.V said:

Must have had a bad experience of the composters cos not feeling the love for them myself. Our ones had the sides falling down so unless you were comfortable chatting to your neighbor while squeezing out mr poo it was a no no. Long drops for me. 

I'm just happy I finally got over the stage fright. 

@Quark, this is us^^^

[zak14]

15 hours ago, eastynh said:

Haha they are not them kind of Steroids mate. They stop you bleeding inside but they are really no good for you. They are the last thing I would advise someone to take at a festival. There are other pills and powders out there that would suit your particular needs 

I assume you meant Prednisolone, had my fair share of being on those

[eastynh]

56 minutes ago, zak14 said:

I assume you meant Prednisolone, had my fair share of being on those

Yes mate.

[Matt100121]

Tbh I like privacy so I think I will use the portable toilets and just go early in the morning. My one biggest fear is someone pushing the toilet over when I am in it. Also it takes me about 20 minutes for a quick number two.