Kris Kristofferson, Gillian Anderson, Kiefer Sutherland and Johnny Depp all star in "eFestivals The Movie" What happens in the film?

[VolumetricFox]

With the abundance of screen stars this year (Kris Kristofferson, Gillian Anderson, Kiefer Sutherland and Johnny Depp) I was wondering...

What do you think "eFestivals - The Movie" would be about ?  Who would play what roles ?

[Hugh Jass]

Keifer spends all his time compiling his dream Radiohead setlists.

Depp is always on the weather thread predicting doom.

Kristofferson gets increasingly angry whenever anyone slags off metal.

Anderson rents a van and tries to lure young men inside...

[jyoung]

Johnny Depp can play the part that doesn't make the final cut.

[BlackHole2006]

Johnny Depp is Gazza 

[FuzzyDunlop]

I think it would be called.... "The twix incident"

[___S_o_m_a__]

Opening credits.

Camera pans from West to East, taking in the silhouette of the Pyramid, and settles on Russy in a field.

Russy - "You're a c**t!"

THE END

[Gwladboy]

Depp beats up Anderson.  Sutherland and Kristofferson blame her for it.

 

Just re-read the OP. Still keeping this in for the principal.

Edited June 12, 2017 by Gwladboy

[CaledonianGonzo]

They join forces to combat a giant Hologram Krist Novoselic that's attacking Somerset.

[the wonderwhy]

Johnny Depp gets to play @Will-2609's shit on a plate 

[Rose-Colored Boy]

fuck Johnny Depp. Rather watch John McDonnell battle to the death with Yanis Varoufakis.

[Hugh Jass]

43 minutes ago, FuzzyDunlop said:

I think it would be called.... "The twix incident"

This could work.

Depp would be the titular quirky ninja, Sutherland would be a hard-bitten security guard who's never let anyone sneak through on his watch, Anderson would be his boss and head of security and Kristofferson would pop up occasionally as Michael Eavis.

It builds to a thrilling game of cat and mouse as Depp tries to evade the clutches of Sutherland and Anderson (it's basically Heat in a field) and ends with Depp making a break for the entry gates. Sutherland has his gun drawn and says "I have the shot..." but Anderson, impressed and enamoured by Depp's spunky resilience and heart says "let him go..." Kristofferson sings "My Way" over the closing credits.

Also featuring heavy Twix product placement.

EDIT: And a talking pie.

Edited June 12, 2017 by Hugh Jass

[CaledonianGonzo]

4 minutes ago, Zac Quinn said:

Rather watch John McDonnell battle to the death with Yanis Varoufakis.

Sorry, but Y-Varoufoozle is in the sin bin due to some recent bad Assange takes.

[Rose-Colored Boy]

1 minute ago, CaledonianGonzo said:

Sorry, but Y-Varoufoozle is in the sin bin due to some recent bad Assange takes.

oh christ with everything else going on I'd forgotten about all that. Why is nobody good anymore. I should probably change my dp.

Edited June 12, 2017 by Zac Quinn

[dreadwing]

Anderson and Sutherland have 24 hours to investigate Kristoffersons vampire cult. Depp takes Psychotics.

[Horror85]

Kristoffersons the man who know's the truth about ( insert whatever phenomenon, alien/ghost/monster/religion ) Depp is the guy who has been effected by it. Sutherland and Anderson go forth to get to the bottom of it, and every time a massive amount of evidence crops up, She's somewhere else, or something somehow becomes in the way and constantly denies it's anything of the above ,as Kiefer is losing it because what more do you want Gill??  

[MetaKate]

Well obviously Gillian Anderson has had information that there is going to be an alien life force at the festival. Keifer has had different information about (obviously) a terrorist attack that is he has 24 hours to prevent. 

Spoiler alert: Jonny Depp is an angry alien determined to destroy all country music. His first victim? Kris

Twist? We're all aliens.