Common misconceptions about Glasto from people who haven't been?

[Mr.Tease]

4 hours ago, Mardy said:

I have a lot of love and respect for you GH, but with all the will in the world, that's cobblers.  That mud last year, no way clothes can mitigate that. That Friday in 2011, you could have been in North Sea sou'wester oilskins, still bloody miserable. 2007, even a self contained astronaut suit wouldn'thave stopped it being a washout.

Yep, you'd of needed some sort of magic tunic and enchanted boots to undo the hit of weather those years

[Mr.Tease]

I think sometimes people disguise a criticism as a pretend question, which is probably where some of the dafter questions come from. I like the people I work with and none of them have pulled that crap!

I do remember when I first went in 2003, I went to see radiohead, rem, and Prince (rumoured at the time tickets went on sale) - I only went to see those headliners, had no idea there were other stages, had no idea there would be such a thing as the market areas! The first evening we got there I set up my tent at kidney mead, had a split and then went exploring - thought we had left the site when we got to the market stalls (I think in my head glastonbury was just a big stage in a field). We ended up in the greenfield where a girl walked past saying "fuck the music, this is where the real festival is" and I thought she was crazy! Ha! 

[jparx]

I have a friend who loves music festivals and would absolutely fall in love with Glastonbury, however she always says it's too big and busy for her. I went to NOS Alive last year with her and she loved it, although I actually found it much busier and more hassle than Glastonbury. Even though Glastonbury is a huge site, for me it never feels that big when you're there since each area has such a strong identity and unlike, say Download, you don't spend ages walking from your tent to the arena. It feels like a collection of smaller festivals rather than one mega event. The only time if ever feels like you're in a sea of 135,000 people is when you watch a Pyramid headliner.

So I guess the "busyness" is one of the big misconceptions I deal with. And the view that the lineup is pants based on three headliners.

[Smeble]

2 hours ago, toppo said:

Few years ago picking up our vacuum packed sausage and bacon from our friendly local butcher. One of the staff said 

"What you going there for it's full of knob head"

"To get away from REAL knob heads like you mate......." was my reply.

To this day he doesn't engage in the usual banter that goes on when I go there

You still go there? Dread to think what little extras you now get with your meat.

 

[waterfalls212434]

I laugh when like last year some people at work who knew I was going were taking the piss  because the headliners were shite....yes because the pyramid stage is the only stage and everyone is forced at gunpoint to stand there all day and clap for every act lol.....people like this have no idea the scale of the thing and how much choice there actually is music wise.....itd blow their tiny little minds:p

Edited May 8, 2017 by waterfalls212434

[zico martin]

57 minutes ago, stuartbert two hats said:

Hold on now, a call someone a knobhead for calling someone a knobhead and the whole world has knobs on their head.  We need to break the cycle!

is there really a 'k' in nobhead though?

[stuartbert two hats]

1 minute ago, zico martin said:

is there really a 'k' in nobhead though?

Yes. A 'nob' is a posh person. A 'knob' is a dick/penis.

Edited May 8, 2017 by stuartbert two hats
Added penis.

[Tartan_Glasto]

I was late to the game with festivals and before my first one my reason for not going was too many people would be there.  When I saw the festival crowds on tv everyone looked like they were packed in like sardines. I get very slight claustrophobia in large crowds. Anyways, I went to T in the Park as my first festival as my mate worked at a label so had free tickets and a separate camping area, so I went to test the waters. I loved it. It was 2012 and it was a swamp, but I loved it as soon as I realised that the tv footage gives a false impression of the crowds. 

So yeah, the main thing I try and convince folk of is that there is so much open space and it's not constantly like it is on the tv.

[Smeble]

9 minutes ago, stuartbert two hats said:

Yes. A 'nob' is a posh person. A 'knob' is a dick/penis.

Waiting for someone to ask if there's a difference 

[Tommy101]

3 hours ago, MilkyJoe said:

Shhh! He'll be wanting to go next...

Fear not MJ, this chap's sense of adventure peaks at going to Co Op for his lunch instead of Tesco. He does wear a wacky tie on a Friday though.

[Tommy101]

16 minutes ago, Smeble said:

Waiting for someone to ask if there's a difference 

About 5 bank accounts, 3 ounces and 2 vehicles

Edited May 8, 2017 by Tommy101
#DrDreForG2019

[slash's hat]

11 minutes ago, Smeble said:

Waiting for someone to ask if there's a difference 

Sure Russy will be along soon with his view on that one!

[OffshoreToon]

52 minutes ago, jparx said:

I have a friend who loves music festivals and would absolutely fall in love with Glastonbury, however she always says it's too big and busy for her.

I heard this from a bloke last year at BST. "Mate, you live in London."

[shoptildrop]

3 hours ago, FrancisH said:

For some of the worst misconceptions just read the comments of any Glastonbury related article on the Guardian.

Some of the most bitter people going.

I don't know I think the Daily Fail comments section might give them a run for their money

[Greenelk]

2 hours ago, EamerRed said:

To be fair the whole washing thing is an odd thing. 5 days without washing might seem grim but I always feel weirdly refreshed having using wipes. And as 'midlifecrisis' says, I've never noticed anyone else smell at Glasto, but I don't know if that's just because we all do and you don't notice it, or if it's genuinely not that bad. 

The other common conversation I get into around not washing for 5 days is -

Them - I'd love to go, but couldn't not shower for 5 days

Me - There are showers there if you want to use them.  The queues are quite big first thing, but if you're happy to go during a quite time, when there's stuff on the stages, they're meant to be really good hot showers.

Them - Oh no, it's still not for me.

 

 

Edited May 8, 2017 by Greenelk

[SteveTLizard]

1 hour ago, EamerRed said:

To be fair the whole washing thing is an odd thing. 5 days without washing might seem grim but I always feel weirdly refreshed having using wipes. And as 'midlifecrisis' says, I've never noticed anyone else smell at Glasto, but I don't know if that's just because we all do and you don't notice it, or if it's genuinely not that bad. 

I'm in the baby wipe shower club for the full duration, but sadly I think the latter is true.  But likewise I've never noticed any stench issues on mass, sure the occasional babywipe/deodorant phobic cheesy quaver, but few and far between.

I went to Reading a few years ago though on the Sunday, nice and clean from my morning shower, and gawd the stench walking through campsites, horrific.  Boiled frog syndrome though I should imagine.

[The Placid Casual]

15 hours ago, grumpyhack said:

There's no such thing as bad weather at a festival - just the wrong clothing.

What if a tornado rips through the festival? Will my mountain warehouse cagoule stop me from being lifted 20ft off the ground?

[Junglist1981]

7 minutes ago, The Placid Casual said:

What if a tornado rips through the festival? Will my mountain warehouse cagoule stop me from being lifted 20ft off the ground?

Nope, because that's the wrong clothes for a tornado  

Fuck knows what tornado clothes are though.

Edit found this http://mudmosh.com/tornado-fashion-what-to-wear-during-a-tornado/

Don't forget your bike helmet and safety goggles, you should be OK

Edited May 8, 2017 by Junglist1981
tornado related sartorial tips

[squirrelarmy]

4 minutes ago, The Placid Casual said:

What if a tornado rips through the festival? Will my mountain warehouse cagoule stop me from being lifted 20ft off the ground?

No but your bag full of cider will. 

[The Placid Casual]

3 hours ago, toppo said:

Few years ago picking up our vacuum packed sausage and bacon from our friendly local butcher. One of the staff said 

"What you going there for it's full of knob head"

"To get away from REAL knob heads like you mate......." was my reply.

To this day he doesn't engage in the usual banter that goes on when I go there

So let me get this clear. He made a joke about the people there being knob heads, probably not being overly serious, so you responded by calling him a knob head to his face?

[H.M.V]

12 minutes ago, The Placid Casual said:

So let me get this clear. He made a joke about the people there being knob heads, probably not being overly serious, so you responded by calling him a knob head to his face?

Not just that but still goes back for his victuals. Crying laughing

[rseamer]

It's amazing how many people think they know Glastonbury (and festivals in general) just by watching the TV coverage of the Pyramid / Other stages and reading a review in the Guardian.

Mind you I do agree that overall a muddy Glastonbury just isn't as much fun as a dry one. I'm with people who haven't been on that issue. 

[Quark]

Not sure whether I prefer the main thread or HMV and Mr 2 Hats trading knobhead insults.  Actually who am I kidding?  That's clearly awesome.

Mud. Not always, last year was bad but the media loves to show muddy people.  And the muddy people are normally the ones who have been mud-diving without really thinking it through.

Headliners on Pyramid / Other being the only things to watch.  Normally get round this by showing them a previous copy of the full line-up with stages & times.  By the time they get to page 25 they've gone a bit pie-eyed.

Eating burgers all weekend.  I normally mention Gandhi's Flip Flop and Le Rac Shack and we're good to go.

I couldn't go 5 days without a shower.  Never mind eh? I can.

I'd get bored.  Again, Never mind.  I don't.

What do you for two days before the bands start? I watch smaller bands, other people and generally get off my tits. This year I'm going to whittle a spoon and do some yoga. Come at me.

Size is always the fun one.  That overlay map is going to earn its stripes over the next few weeks.

[CaledonianGonzo]

"You're the knobhead mate, if anyone is"

[Room to sway]

This weekend I met up with a guy I've known most of my adult life and I'm going to my 8th Glastonbury this year (I think). (I mean I think it's my 8th not that I think I'm going).

Ever year it's the same response - "It's full of fucking hippies". Like, even if that were true... so what? I always say there are a few but he just shakes his head. Obviously he'd know better than me. It's full of 'em. Those bastards.

This guy has three kids. Imagine him telling me he's having another one and all I say back is "What's the fucking point they just shit everywhere and take up all your money and take over your life, there's no point".

c**t*

To be fair, he would hate it if he went but that's fair enough, it's just the kind of person he is.

 

I've had, from a few people, "I'll just put a tent in my back garden and get someone to pour water over it constantly while listening to it on the radio" ... OK pal that's 100% the same experience, I am such a mug for throwing my money away.

I've also had a slightly patronising "It's great you've never grown up" from a relative with kids. I'm single with no kids and I'm 39 (I turn 40 a month after Glasto I CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT) but apparently wanting to let go and enoy yourself for five days means you've never grown up???

* Nah he's alright.