The Pledge

[CaledonianGonzo]

"I may have next to no bladder control and spray my wee everywhere like a bitch in heat, but that didn't stop me from being down at the front of Kasabian bellowing for them to carry on playing"

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

15 minutes ago, musky said:

 

Edit for Yog: Inexcusable for people without sudden incontinence problems!

Appreciated, thanks musky. That said, I really am hoping those were isolated incidents. Let's face it Kanga Pads are just not rock and roll.

[Rubber Soldier]

1 hour ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Hello stuartbert,

I know what you are saying about the on balance bit, but must confess that it is still sitting slightly uncomfortably with me. The reason for this is twofold. If I can use a military context to explain the first - if a country, such as the UK, goes to war, does it do so knowing and accepting the fact that there will be friendly fire kills on it's own troops? If it does, at what percentage is it deemed to be acceptable? Now if we transpose this on to the pissing in a hedge at Glastonbury situation - is it acceptable for people to call everyone pissing in a hedge a bastard, knowing that there may be an underlying medical condition that has caused a person to piss right there right then? Like me, that person may not have known of their condition beforehand ie it's just struck them right there and then for the first time ie they were never given the opportunity to make provision for that situation. Should we err on the side of caution and not say anything in the spirit of not discriminating against the disabled, or should we, as Spock would say run with the notion that  “Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few" ?

In terms of my own medical situation, as said before, if it happens again then I will go to my doctors. Strangely enough on both occasions when it happened ( it really did happen Rubber Soldier, despite your lame eristic suggestion that it didn't) I was driving my speed dealer around. She normally uses a taxi and so hasn't, in the past, actually paid any attention to the routes that were being taken to her customers ie. she's let the taxi driver take the strain. Now, she's asked me a few times to help her take her to places, probably because she's realised that it's far cheaper than taking a taxi. The net result though is she's fucking clueless as to how to get to the places she wants to get to. So, on the afore mentioned two occasions I've been in the car with her for a fair while. After eventually dropping her off on both occasions I have found myself in heavy traffic and then all of a sudden needing to piss urgently but having no way of getting my car to a side road etc in order to have a piss ie I've been trapped in the car. These are the only two times that this overwhelming urge has hit me. Maybe that's because normally I'd go to the toilet in my house before that kind of pressure has built up. Don't know. Will wait and see. Thank you for your concern. 

The way you worded your comment made it seem like you were playing it for laughs rather than recounting an actual story, so if you say it happened then accept my apologies. 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Just now, Rubber Soldier said:

The way you worded your comment made it seem like you were playing it for laughs rather than recounting an actual story, so if you say it happened then accept my apologies. 

Hello Rubber Soldier,

Thanks for the apology. Unfortunately it really did happen - twice. On both occasions I forgot all about it the next day, jumped in to the car to head off somewhere and then while driving along shouted FUCK to myself as I realised that the piss from the night before was being absorbed by the fresh jeans I was wearing. I am praying to the little baby Jesus that these were isolated incidents and not a sign of things to come. 

[Woffy]

7 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Appreciated, thanks musky. That said, I really am hoping those were isolated incidents. Let's face it Kanga Pads are just not rock and roll.

Yog, old bean, at the risk of going off topic and everyone banging on about your 'pee post', get to the doctor, dude. I had a similar - though not as extreme - issue. The doc gave me tablets and it was righted very quickly. He also stuck his finger up my bum for good measure while I was there which, after the unpleasant but very brief moment, was very reassuring health-wise. 

[stuartbert two hats]

7 minutes ago, Woffy said:

Yog, old bean, at the risk of going off topic and everyone banging on about your 'pee post', get to the doctor, dude. I had a similar - though not as extreme - issue. The doc gave me tablets and it was righted very quickly. He also stuck his finger up my bum for good measure while I was there which, after the unpleasant but very brief moment, was very reassuring health-wise. 

That's what I was alluding to. I've no idea how likely it is, but incontinence can be linked to prostate cancer. You don't want to wait around if that is the problem.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

1 minute ago, Woffy said:

Yog, old bean, at the risk of going off topic and everyone banging on about your 'pee post', get to the doctor, dude. I had a similar - though not as extreme - issue. The doc gave me tablets and it was righted very quickly. He also stuck his finger up my bum for good measure while I was there which, after the unpleasant but very brief moment, was very reassuring health-wise. 

Hello Woffy,

OK, I'm getting the message - I'll go and see my doctor and see what he thinks.

By the way, I once (a fair few years ago) went to the afore mentioned doctor about something (which eludes me right now) and he said that he would have to make an examination up my bottom, but that I'd have to book it in with reception for the following week, because he hadn't the time to do it there an then. So I went to reception and booked the follow on appointment.

All that week I kept thinking about the up coming examination. I kept on imagining how he was going to look up my arsehole. Gradually the idea that he'd be using some piece of apperratus like a medieval torture device to stretch my ring kept coming to my mind.

By the time the appointment time came along I was in an unusually fretful state. The doctor asked me to lie down on his couch. As he did so he must have seen the apprehension on my face and said something along the lines of ' what are you worried about? All I am going to do is put one of my fingers up your bottom to check something'? Well, I was so happy with relief to get this news that I nearly told him to knock himself out and stick a few fingers up there. 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

5 minutes ago, stuartbert two hats said:

That's what I was alluding to. I've no idea how likely it is, but incontinence can be linked to prostate cancer. You don't want to wait around if that is the problem.

Can it? Fuck. Right, I'm all over it like a rash and will ring them tomorrow morning. Thank you for the information.

[Woffy]

Just now, stuartbert two hats said:

That's what I was alluding to. I've no idea how likely it is, but incontinence can be linked to prostate cancer. You don't want to wait around if that is the problem.

When I'm visiting construction & refurb meetings for work they do the whole Safety Moment thing at the start, which is generally pretty guff and lacks people speaking up. I used this as mine and the finger up the arse thing got a laugh initially before the blokes there - of a certain age - started muttering that they should probably get checked. 

 

Anyhoo. I've not once pissed on the land at Glastonbury. But did have the above issue during the festival one year. It led me to standing in front of the urinal trough with nowt happening for ages - paranoid I'd piss myself. Then sitting in a long drop for the same reason with nothing happening. Collossal waste of time. Went to the docs when I got back, was fine again in a couple of days, wished I'd got checked out earlier. 

[Woffy]

1 minute ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Can it? Fuck. Right, I'm all over it like a rash and will ring them tomorrow morning. Thank you for the information.

Good man!

My over-sharing hasn't gone to waste!

Don't piss on the farm people. And get yer bum fingered by a doctor. 

[stuartbert two hats]

We've done good tonight!

[Perks]

8 hours ago, ian the worm said:

This is my video that went viral after I posted it last year.

It still gets around 1000 views per month and with only 2 months to go, it is picking up views again as the festival nears.  It will probably be viewed and shared a lot and is a great way to see the problem.

I also know it's about to be embedded into an online "guide to festivals" by TIMEOUT and I've approached GFL to use it.

However, recently the number of negative comments are outweighing the number of supportive comments and I'd really like this to be addressed and essentially push the negative comments down the page further before the TIMEOUT piece goes live.

So, if you can, would you watch it and then add a supportive comment on the video comments section that mentions The Pledge or backs up my message?

(PS, the video was not planned, nor scripted and all came from the heart).

Cheers,

 

 

That's crazy, I can't understand how people can just leave brand new tents. I've had mine for years, even when it broke in 2015, I took it home. I can't afford to leave a tent, do these pillocks just buy a new one every year? How much money do they have. It's really horrible, but a needed video mr worm. Thanks for sharing (I think!!) We were in bushy ground last year, most people by us took their stuff away. It sure didn't look like that.

[musky]

19 minutes ago, Perks said:

That's crazy, I can't understand how people can just leave brand new tents. I've had mine for years, even when it broke in 2015, I took it home. I can't afford to leave a tent, do these pillocks just buy a new one every year? How much money do they have. It's really horrible, but a needed video mr worm. Thanks for sharing (I think!!) We were in bushy ground last year, most people by us took their stuff away. It sure didn't look like that.

When Ian posted this up last year someone pointed out there was a £400 tent left behind. Mind boggling.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Urine includes plenty of nitrogen, potassium, and phosphorus, nutrients that are helpful for plant growth. In fact, those are the three main ingredients in both industrial fertilizer and natural fertilizers like manure. (The nitrogren in urine isn't N₂, the gas that makes up most of the atmosphere—it's N^3-, the "fixed" nitrogen that plants need.) If you let your pee sit around for a long while (I don't recommend doing this, for obvious reasons), it will precipitate out an odorless fertilizer called struvite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So if you add a lot of urine to a lake, you're essentially dumping in a bunch of fertilizer, which causes a bloom of algae. After they've used up the fertilizer, the algae continue using oxygen, and when they die, their decomposition consumes still more, drastically lowering the levels of oxygen in the lake, which is what generally kills fish. The same kind of fish die-off happen when agricultural run-off reaches rivers and lakes—the run-off includes lots of fertilizer, which is basically urine, after all.

[clarkete]

14 hours ago, scott44 said:

Not mocking at all. I fully support the pledge and would never pee on the land. However people need to chill. If some of the people on here had gone to the Reading Festival back in the day they would have been home tucked up in bed by lunchtime on the Friday!

Likewise if you'd been at Pilton back in the day 

But the bikers and travellers were pretty good at taking their sh*t home

[daisylane]

16 hours ago, scott44 said:

If some of the people on here had gone to the Reading Festival back in the day they would have been home tucked up in bed by lunchtime on the Friday!

Given Reading and Leeds had to ban camping stoves due to idiots throwing the canisters/aerosols into fires and them exploding in people's faces, they can hardly be described as a festival of freedom either.

Don't agree with the pledge = don't go! 

Edited April 19, 2017 by daisylane

[CaledonianGonzo]

When you party are you at the Andrew WK sort of level, or do you go even harder than he does?

[Woffy]

2 minutes ago, CaledonianGonzo said:

When you party are you at the Andrew WK sort of level, or do you go even harder than he does?

Ain't no party like a pisS-Club party-level. 

[CaledonianGonzo]

No one parties as hard as us lads down at the pissoir. We're ankle deep in rivers of urine and living it up like Trump in a Moscow hotel room.

[musky]

8 hours ago, clarkete said:

Likewise if you'd been at Pilton back in the day 

But the bikers and travellers were pretty good at taking their sh*t home

I think this has gone right over Scott's head.

At times it made Reading's Sunday night look like a kiddies party in a park. Which of course it was.

[Sasperella]

 

1 hour ago, CaledonianGonzo said:

When you party are you at the Andrew WK sort of level, or do you go even harder than he does?

That's impossible. NO ONE parties harder than Andrew WK

[CaledonianGonzo]

Was Andrew WK at Reading Festival back in the day?

[Sasperella]

5 minutes ago, CaledonianGonzo said:

Was Andrew WK at Reading Festival back in the day?

2002 apparently

Just incase anyone's in any doubt about his ability to party, they should really check out his twitter party tips:

https://twitter.com/AndrewWK 

This one seems particularly appropriate for how one should carry on at Glastonbury:

 

PARTY TIP: Right when you wake up, chug a drink. It'll hit you harder because your body is empty and craving party fluids.

[Stokesy10]

2 hours ago, scott44 said:

People need to learn to read. Repeat - I agree with the pledge! What I am saying is if some people on here want to start being square pee police at the festival and start lecturing people then fine. Enjoy your boring festival! The rest of us however will be at the Cider Bus having fun!!!!

Can someone call out a person for pissing on the land, (due to the possibility of threatening the future of the festival) and still be having a quality time? It doesn't take long to rightfully call someone a c*nt. Less than a second in fact. Then you just carry on having a class time. It's not difficult. I don't think anyone is going to get out a clip board or hand out leaflets regarding the matter like. 

 

[CaledonianGonzo]

Are we allowed to swear at this church fete?