Dilemma...

[The Red Telephone]

22 minutes ago, giantkatestacks said:

I was going to ask that too. If she is going to be away for 5 days then it might be a good opportunity for you to take him away on holiday somewhere. He is going to be finding it much more confusing and hurtful than either of you tbh and how you act with him will affect the rest of his life. 

Sorry to be overdramatic but I have been through it with my children.

I think this my overriding concern...I have got a week off with him at Easter, Whitsun school holidays and also a week in the summer holidays so we should have some quality time away together aside from Glastonbury week.

I think if I do decide to go there is also the possibility of her not going, accuse me of being selfish, ruining her life even more etc

[oneeye]

3 minutes ago, The Red Telephone said:

 

I think if I do decide to go there is also the possibility of her not going, accuse me of being selfish, ruining her life even more etc

If that's her mindset then she'll accuse you anyway, whatever you decide.

 

[e2p2]

You're definitely going! I dont have many things to add to what fellow beautiful efesters wrote. 

Besides the fact that she cant tell you what to do (anymore..), There are some things you learn about yourself only when you're out of your comfort zone. And if you're already out of your comfort zone, I think there's no better place to be  at rather than at Glastonbury. 

And finally, there's no way I get my ticket at the resale because an ex-wife told her ex not to go to the most wonderful place in the world! 

[simian_mobile_mushrooms]

11 hours ago, The Red Telephone said:

Hi all

Some advice needed please...

After a very messy few weeks, it looks like my wife and I are seperating. I am utterly heartbroken and am struggling to see a decent future for myself at the moment. We've had struggles in the past like most couples, but she doesn't seem to want to fight for this one and has told me to leave. The jist of it is financial, but something that could be worked out. Anyway, that's what's she's decided and I can't change her mind. My priority now has to be my little boy and enjoying the time I get to spend with him.

So, what to do about Glastonbury? We were both going together with another couple this year. It was our first time together last year and it was one of the happiest times we'd had together. I had been previously three times in the 90s, she had never been prior to 2016.

She said that she is still going and doesn't think i should go. At the moment I feel that Glastonbury is the one bright spark on the horizon...I had so many visions of us together there though, not sure whether I could stand camping on my own there. I have some friends (not close enough to camp with though) I could hook up at times there, so wouldn't be completely on my own at all times. Maybe I could just go Friday-Sunday when the need for company isn't so great?

Need to decide in 13 days whether to pay my balance off or not!

Sorry to go all Dear Deidre on you all, but my mind is churning at the moment!

 

 

 

 

 

Without a doubt - go to the fucking festival. Treat it as a new start, not a time to dwell or any other reason. You'll have the time of your life. How dare she tell your what to do or what not to do; she's given all those priveleges up by the sounds of it. Maybe the first day is a bit uneasy realising you have to chat to randoms, but in my experience everyone is so welcoming and lovely (you might also wanna check out camp solo on here) but once you've broken through the barrier once or twice it'll come easily. Plus you've got your other mates you can catch up with from time to time. Oh and if you happen to see the ex, just stick your mirrored sunglasses on, pretend like you don't see her and breeze on past - no need for politeness, just ignore her. I did Glasto on my own the first year and it was awesome, although I was discovering it for the first time, I still met some great people, listened to some awesome bands and had a whale of a time.
 

 

[funkychick2007]

Glastonbury always brings a smile to the heart! My friend passed away at a young age before she was able to attend in 2015 each year we take a photo of her and take photos in random places alongside her can of thatchers! Its makes her friends and family smile back home just a little each year! Glastonbury gives support in the most mysterious ways! Hope easty and red telephone both get to go! 

[The other Bellboy]

11 hours ago, russycarps said:

Gosh, what a horrendous harpy she sounds. How dare she tell you that you can't go.

You must go. It's absolutely none of her business.

I find myself in uncharted and unexpected territory - in full agreement with RC

I don't know if you have been through breakups before but i can guarantee from my personal experience that when the pain does finally go and you think back to your ex being so selfish  and telling you can't go but she can and with i assume your friends, that you will realise that you are better off without her and that the breakup was the best for you both. 

Terrible for your son i know but you'll be their to support him i'm sure.

Pay for that ticket next week and look forward to a new phase in your life.

Bumping into anyone at Glastonbury is very hit and miss, one year we saw the same friends randomly every day, another we saw ME every day but every other time - zilch so i'm sure the odds are in your favour for a stress free week!  

[Stokesy10]

Sorry to hear that news pal. It will get easier.

However, she's going to Glasto and "doesn't think you should go"? Nah. Don't think so. Go and enjoy yourself, surrounded yourself with different people. It's a very good place for reflecting I find. It will be difficult knowing she's there but assuming you can be amicable leading up to it, you'll be OK.

100% go mate. Meet up with some of the great people off here too. 

[thewayiam]

@The Red Telephone I'd just go man, the breakup has nothing to do with going to Glastonbury. Go and embrace it, meet others at the efests meet on Wednesday and enjoy.

[ukmountie]

Just a quick comment.

I of course know nothing of the details of your situation, but I would say if you decide to pay off your balance and go, keep it to yourself as long as possible. Always the chance she could find a way to cancel your ticket for you.

Also, don't know if it's a possibility, but if things do turn around you'll have a lovely surprise for her :-)

[Miesh]

I've just read this thread through from the start.   I have a warm fuzzy feeling.  True Glasto spirit being shown and some inspiring stories.

You really are a lovey bunch x

[evannn]

3 hours ago, The Red Telephone said:

It's an option, although it may be too late? Something to consider for future festivals though....think I'm going to treat this year as "rite of passage/ clear my head/ I can do this" thing!

Great idea! 

(Sorry if I sound like a dick for this next part, not my intention). 

You'll likely have to get used to spending more time on your own, I couldn't think of a better place to do it than Glastonbury x

[kingbadger]

The chances of bumping into her will be miniscule, but you are guaranteed to make memories that'll last a life time. In the future when you'll look back it'll mean whilst there may be the pain of the break up, you'll be so glad you managed to pick yourself up and get back out there. The chances of meeting new people and making friends for life are vastly higher than bumping into her.

[The Red Telephone]

It might be the Earl Grey talking, but I love each and everyone of you

[clarkete]

You've been 4 times and she's been once?  

So it's more your thing than hers 

Surely one of the consequences of separating is it's nowt to do with her whether you go or not? 

I've been with parents, all sorts of different groups of friends, partners and sis.  The experience has varied greatly but has been one of the core aspects of my life - the week around my birthday is a messy party in a field. 

If you look in some of the ticket less threads here, you'll realise it would be crazy to sacrifice your ticket at this stage, when you can keep your powder dry over the next three months.  If you go then amongst the bands, spectacle, comedy, circus, etc there has to be something to light your lemon and lift your spirits.  If not then you're not on the right drugs (only joking ). 

[glastolover19]

You can take my wife instead if you want? Then I can have a good time  Only joshing,go and have a wicked time otherwise you WILL regret it. Don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. 

[Alex DeLarge]

Opening the thread I was going to try and convince you to go, but it was great to read that you've decided to go and not let  what she said change your mind. You're gonna have an amazing time buddy!

[Jasonbee]

Few potential solutions:

 

1) Go with the male half of the other couple and let the wife go with his partner

 

2) Go alone and meet new people

 

3) Find a close friend that would go and make them get a ticket in the resale

 

All my solutions have one thing in common... You gotta go!

[Doug85]

Just reading through this thread and I agree you have to go! She can't tell you not to go as that's really none of her business. She's only saying that to try and make her experience better but after all what you say that's incredibly selfish of her. 

Different to Glastonbury I know but I broke up with my ex wife and she tried to tell me not to attend a gig we had both been looking forward to for months as she was going with her friends. A polite "fuck you" and I went anyway and stayed at the back with a couple of pints rather than going daft and I'm glad I went. Her mates seen me and I got the moany text the next day that I spoilt the gig for her. Brought a big fucking smile to my face!

To summarise- go and enjoy yourself. You will feel better for it. You will regret it if you don't. 

Hope things work out for you mate. 

[CRW5252]

11 hours ago, giantkatestacks said:

I was going to ask that too. If she is going to be away for 5 days then it might be a good opportunity for you to take him away on holiday somewhere. He is going to be finding it much more confusing and hurtful than either of you tbh and how you act with him will affect the rest of his life. 

Sorry to be overdramatic but I have been through it with my children.

I disagree with this. I don't believe a child that young really understands what is going on. As long as they keep getting the attention they require and any issues between the parents is kept separate from them they will be fine. It's so easy for parents to overthink the effect they have on their children but ultimately the most important thing is to lead by example. It's very hard to be a good parent if you aren't in a good state of mind and Glastonbury could be the perfect therapy for this guy. Of course this doesn't mean you shouldn't always put your children first but sometimes doing something for yourself can indirectly have a positive effect on your child.

[whisty]

22 hours ago, The Red Telephone said:

She said that she is still going and doesn't think i should go. 

I really don't get that bit!! Go if you want to, it's nothing to do with her anymore. 

[Quark]

My advice is generally useless so I'll just say that, in your position and from what you've told us, I'd go.

Either way I hope things turn out well for you. And if you do go it'll be a pleasure to share a cider and a party cigarette with you

[Tartan_Glasto]

I went to Glastonbury for the first time in 2015 with my boyfriend, and like you said about your experience, it was the happiest of times. Was literally perfect. Cut to six months later, after having bought tickets for 2016 we split up.

I went in 2016 and he did not. He contacted me to say he wouldn't be going as he thought it would be a bit too tough which I was kind of glad about cause I was worried about constantly looking over my shoulder wondering if I was going to bump into him.

Anyways, I went and it was the biggest emotional rollercoaster and mind fuck. I was with two close friends (the same two people we went with in 2015) but everything just didn't feel right. I could not escape thoughts of my ex I was surrounded by all the familiar sights, sounds and smells of when we were there together. I purposely got very drunk to try and escape it. By the Sunday I was broken. Without sounding like a drama queen, I was lying in my tent on the Sunday morning feeling the lowest I ever had. I phoned my ex. Just made matters worse. 

It look me a long time to get over that emotionally broken feeling. I'm going again this year and I have no idea if I'm going to feel that way or not, but the thing is that it's Glastonbury. Yes, it broke me and I felt at my lowest, but I also had some really great moments.

So to conclude, I don't think it's going to be easy for you at all. However, you're still going to have some great times to take away with you.

[celticvillan]

Hi

i have recently split up with my partner of 11yrs. Glastonbury always our thing, couldn't go last year due a friends wedding, but got golden tickets in October. She said it would be too painful to go, as our wedding anniversary is 23/6, even though the split was her choice. 

I did some real soul searching, and got advice from these boards, and I'm still going. It is my happy place, it is my home.

I will be in the campervan fields on my own, walking around, chatting with strangers that will become friends.

It will be different to my previous glastonbury festivals but I am sort of looking forward to it, if that makes sense.

Make the right choice for you. X

[giantkatestacks]

41 minutes ago, CRW5252 said:

I disagree with this. I don't believe a child that young really understands what is going on. As long as they keep getting the attention they require and any issues between the parents is kept separate from them they will be fine. It's so easy for parents to overthink the effect they have on their children but ultimately the most important thing is to lead by example. It's very hard to be a good parent if you aren't in a good state of mind and Glastonbury could be the perfect therapy for this guy. Of course this doesn't mean you shouldn't always put your children first but sometimes doing something for yourself can indirectly have a positive effect on your child.

We will have to agree to disagree. 

[DeadAmos]

Easy way to make sure you don't bump into her there is to cancel her ticket

I know its not a very nice thing to but it may give you piece of mind

and as celticvillan says just chat to people and you will make friends 

even if its just for a couple of hours