Dilemma...

[The Red Telephone]

Hi all

Some advice needed please...

After a very messy few weeks, it looks like my wife and I are seperating. I am utterly heartbroken and am struggling to see a decent future for myself at the moment. We've had struggles in the past like most couples, but she doesn't seem to want to fight for this one and has told me to leave. The jist of it is financial, but something that could be worked out. Anyway, that's what's she's decided and I can't change her mind. My priority now has to be my little boy and enjoying the time I get to spend with him.

So, what to do about Glastonbury? We were both going together with another couple this year. It was our first time together last year and it was one of the happiest times we'd had together. I had been previously three times in the 90s, she had never been prior to 2016.

She said that she is still going and doesn't think i should go. At the moment I feel that Glastonbury is the one bright spark on the horizon...I had so many visions of us together there though, not sure whether I could stand camping on my own there. I have some friends (not close enough to camp with though) I could hook up at times there, so wouldn't be completely on my own at all times. Maybe I could just go Friday-Sunday when the need for company isn't so great?

Need to decide in 13 days whether to pay my balance off or not!

Sorry to go all Dear Deidre on you all, but my mind is churning at the moment!

 

 

 

 

 

[Untz]

You can always put the decision off a bit longer by paying off your ticket - you can always get a refund up to the final refund deadline at the beginning of May.

Also, fuck what she thinks about whether you should go or not. 

[eastynh]

Just pay for your ticket anyway mate, just to give yourself a bit of time to see which way the wind blows. 

It gives you a couple of months grace.

 

[Crazyfool01]

if you think its the one bright spark you should definitely use this bright spark to reignite your fire !!  get yourself to the fest .. maybe meet some new people at the efests meet ... or the solo campers thread . much better than sat at home getting miserable because you could / should have been there . Be prepared to bump into your wife though although it isn't likely to happen it probably will . !! 

if you fancy a pint at the cider bus give me a shout

[midlifecrisis]

I'm so sorry you're going through this difficult time. I'd still go. You're never on your own in a crowd of 180000 people. I'm not saying it will be easy, knowing she'll be there as well, but there's no reason why she should get custody of Glastonbury! You could always go to the efest meet or camp with the others at camp solo. 

[The Red Telephone]

Thanks for the kind words everyone. I had been eagerly reading everything on these boards for the past 12 months or so, but hadn't dared go on in the last few weeks as I was so depressed about everything.

Today has been the first day that I have faced up to the prospect of going along. The good weather, a few beers and some tunes has made me realise how important those few days in June might mean to me!

 

[henry bear]

Sorry to hear the news. I don't see why she gets to go and you don't! I agree with the others - pay for your ticket and decide later when you're better placed to make such decisions. I had terrible news a week after securing Glasto tickets, news which seriously jeopardised my chances of going, but the thought of Glasto itself was something I held onto and now it seems certain we're going. Don't let this dream go. 

[H.M.V]

Jaysis dude you sound like you need it more than most. Get your ticket and just camp far away. Its seriously not that hard at Glastonbury. 

Come to the efests meet and I'll buy you a drink to toast your soon to be awesome weekend. 

[The Red Telephone]

3 minutes ago, henry bear said:

Sorry to hear the news. I don't see why she gets to go and you don't! I agree with the others - pay for your ticket and decide later when you're better placed to make such decisions. I had terrible news a week after securing Glasto tickets, news which seriously jeopardised my chances of going, but the thought of Glasto itself was something I held onto and now it seems certain we're going. Don't let this dream go. 

Ah, hope all is better now!

 

 

[Crazyfool01]

well now thats 3 drinks free @kalifire is buying drinks too , should definitely be a deciding factor

[The Red Telephone]

2 minutes ago, H.M.V said:

Jaysis dude you sound like you need it more than most. Get your ticket and just camp far away. Its seriously not that hard at Glastonbury. 

Come to the efests meet and I'll buy you a drink to toast your soon to be awesome weekend. 

Thanks for the advice :-)

[The Red Telephone]

1 minute ago, crazyfool1 said:

well now thats 3 drinks free @kalifire is buying drinks too , should definitely be a deciding factor

Wish she would have split with me sooner*!

 

*Still too raw for jokes

[Crazyfool01]

of course not just trying to say there are quite a few decent people on here it seems that would be happy to listen and get you a drink ..

[eastynh]

16 minutes ago, The Red Telephone said:

Thanks for the kind words everyone. I had been eagerly reading everything on these boards for the past 12 months or so, but hadn't dared go on in the last few weeks as I was so depressed about everything.

Today has been the first day that I have faced up to the prospect of going along. The good weather, a few beers and some tunes has made me realise how important those few days in June might mean to me!

 

It sounds like you want to go mate and seems you just need a little encouragement.

Not a single person on here is going to tell you not to go.

I have my own little dilemma at present. Since November I have been going through a quite severe Colitis flare. Unfortunately I have been losing quite a lot of blood from my rear end. I finally had a colonoscopy on Wednesday. Unfortunately my insides are an utter mess and they are now saying it is Crohns disease I have and not Colitis. Now I felt sorry for myself for the rest of the day on Wednesday. Then on Thursday I went and bought myself a tent. I will be going to the festival even if it means I do Friday morning till Sunday evening, stay sober the entire weekend and have to poo blood 20 times a day (it is not far short of that at present)

Now I appreciate yours is a mental issue and the brain can be difficult to fix. Yet it will be fixed eventually even if it feels quite difficult at present. You need to get back on the horse mate.

Now if I can go when there is a very realistic chance that I will spend the entire weekend sober and 50% of it walking to or sat on a toilet, then surely you can go?

Being sat at home when you could have been there will only make you feel worse.

Edited March 25, 2017 by eastynh

[bexj]

Hugs man, thats so shit. But you know damn fine that Glastonbury is good for the soul, so pack yer bags man and get yer ass down to the farm.  Let no one spoil whats special to you.  Yeah you might bump into her, but the chances are you won't.  Give it a go my friend,  hope it all works out for you xxxx

[The Red Telephone]

5 minutes ago, crazyfool1 said:

of course not just trying to say there are quite a few decent people on here it seems that would be happy to listen and get you a drink ..

Sorry dude, didn't mean it to sound like a dig at you! Was making fun of myself, didn't come acrross like that - apologies!

 

Yep, have been astounded by the kindness of folk on here :-)

[The Red Telephone]

2 minutes ago, eastynh said:

It sounds like you want to go mate and seems you just need a little encouragement.

Not a single person on here is going to tell you not to go.

I have my own little dilemma at present. Since November I have been going through a quite severe Colitis flare. Unfortunately I have been losing quite a lot of blood from my rear end. I finally had a colonoscopy on Wednesday. Unfortunately my insides are an utter mess and they are now saying it is Crowns disease I have and not Colitis. Now I felt sorry for myself for the rest of the day on Wednesday. Then on Thursday I went and bought myself a tent. I will be going to the festival even if it means I do Friday morning till Sunday evening, stay sober the entire weekend and have to poo blood 20 times a day (it is not far short of that at present)

Now I appreciate yours is a mental issue and the brain is can be difficult to fix. Yet it will be fixed eventually even if it feels quite difficult at present. You need to get back on the horse mate.

Now if I can go when there is a very realistic chance that I will spend the entire weekend sober and 50% of it walking to or sat on a toilet, then surely you can go?

Being sat at home when you could have been there will only make you feel worse.

Sorry to read that Easty...yep, I should try and go shouldn't I? 

[The Red Telephone]

2 minutes ago, bexj said:

Hugs man, thats so shit. But you know damn fine that Glastonbury is good for the soul, so pack yer bags man and get yer ass down to the farm.  Let no one spoil whats special to you.  Yeah you might bump into her, but the chances are you won't.  Give it a go my friend,  hope it all works out for you xxxx

Cheers dude!

Edited March 25, 2017 by The Red Telephone

[eastynh]

Just now, The Red Telephone said:

Sorry to read that Easty...yep, I should try and go shouldn't I? 

Definitely mate. Don't be sorry for anyone mate, we all have our crosses to bear. It is how we respond to adversity that makes us the people we are.

[bexj]

Just now, eastynh said:

Definitely mate. Don't be sorry for anyone mate, we all have our crosses to bear. It is how we respond to adversity that makes us the people we are.

Never a truer word said. I hope your festival is good too man.  My friend had a triple heart bypass 11 weeks before Glastonbury 2014... Nothing was going to stop him going, albeit it was a bit tamer than he was used to.  

[The Red Telephone]

3 minutes ago, eastynh said:

Definitely mate. Don't be sorry for anyone mate, we all have our crosses to bear. It is how we respond to adversity that makes us the people we are.

Out of upvotes, but please take this as one 

[Untz]

5 minutes ago, eastynh said:

50% of it walking to or sat on a toilet

Yeah, you and everyone else who's going heavy on the cider.

(I'm joking of course - I do genuinely hope you're well enough  to go and have a great time.)

[eastynh]

1 minute ago, The Red Telephone said:

Out of upvotes, but please take this as one 

Chin up mate. I know it is difficult. 

My mate went through a pretty torrid break up, it destroyed him. He never got over it. He had died within 2 years. His death certificate said bowel cancer, yet he died of a broken heart. He never tried to get back on the horse after breaking up and he just spiralled down hill. Don't be like my mate, get back on the horse.

[eastynh]

5 minutes ago, Untz said:

Yeah, you and everyone else who's going heavy on the cider.

(I'm joking of course - I do genuinely hope you're well enough  to go and have a great time.)

I will have access to the disabled toilets mate. No long drops with the riff raff for me 

[CajunMoon]

Really sorry to hear you're going through such a bad time. Whilst not comparable to your situation I do have my own issues and difficulties and the one thing I've craved more than anything is the 5 days of escape that is 'Glastonbury'. You cannot put a price on those days especially if they are the release you need to keep positive. I say GO GO GO.

Stay strong fella.