The Ed Sheeran thread

[FuzzyDunlop]

You think Galway girl is bad.... "hearts don't break around here" is a fucking abomination

[FloorFiller]

Just now, SwedgeAntilles said:

He could start his owns label: Threads Sheeran 

Or 'Shit Clothes for c**ts'

[SwedgeAntilles]

Just now, FloorFiller said:

Or 'Shit Clothes for c**ts'

Both good names. 

[FloorFiller]

1 minute ago, FuzzyDunlop said:

You think Galway girl is bad.... "hearts don't break around here" is a fucking abomination

This thread is gonna end with me listening to the album in full just to take note on how shit he is, isn't it?

[FuzzyDunlop]

1 minute ago, FloorFiller said:

This thread is gonna end with me listening to the album in full just to take note on how shit he is, isn't it?

I have actually posted a rant review of it somewhere (not on here) I'll post it....

 

(Lots of swearing for the easily offended.... be warned)

Edited March 17, 2017 by FuzzyDunlop

[joeltg]

1 minute ago, FloorFiller said:

This thread is gonna end with me listening to the album in full just to take note on how shit he is, isn't it?

Don't do it, you run the risk of being front row of the Pyramid Sunday night

[russycarps]

4 minutes ago, FloorFiller said:

Or 'Shit Clothes for c**ts'

I think liam gallagher trademarked that

 

[FloorFiller]

1 minute ago, joeltg said:

Don't do it, you run the risk of being front row of the Pyramid Sunday night

After hearing the two singles and the two aforementioned shite songs I think I can safely say that ain't gonna happen.

At least him no doubt pulling a ginormous crowd will pull away the shitmunchers from the other stages, mind - I hope for a similarly small-ish but incredible crowd like the one LCD pulled last year wherever I end up that night.

[shuttlep]

4 minutes ago, FloorFiller said:

This thread is gonna end with me listening to the album in full just to take note on how shit he is, isn't it?

don't do that to yoruself

 

it's 19 songs long with 1 or two OK songs. If he took all the OK songs off his three albums he would have one pleasant album. not good just pleasant and toe tapping.

 

someone else said it earlier their 12 year old likes him, My nine year old likes him.  that's his audiance

[CaledonianGonzo]

10 minutes ago, shuttlep said:

I aw an interview wit him, he described his own music as "Music girls eat ice cream and cry to"

Nothing wrong with being self aware.  Better than being an R. Ashcroft and comparing your new album to What's Goin' On by Marvin Gaye.

[shuttlep]

Just now, CaledonianGonzo said:

Nothing wrong with being self aware.  Better than being an R. Ashcroft and comparing your new album to What's Goin' On by Marvin Gaye.

he went up in my estimation when he said that, he knows he's no mover and shaker , he's doing well for him self selling music to people he knows swill buy it 

 

fair play

 

his music is still shit

[russycarps]

5 minutes ago, FloorFiller said:

I hope for a similarly small-ish but incredible crowd like the one LCD pulled last year wherever I end up that night.

flaming lips, JP tent. Be there!

 

[CaledonianGonzo]

I like the Lips and would probably wind up there if West Holts drops the ball, but that would still be a bit of a depressing, low key way to wind up the last G for two long years.

[scrippit]

13 hours ago, russycarps said:

He's shit.

Today my up-vote goes to Russy for both his accuracy and his brevity.

[FuzzyDunlop]

Fuzz Reviews Ed Sheeran - divide:

I have listened to the album on youtube and tried to review this with an open mind despite of how annoying I find the little weasel... but here we go:

The album is the equivalent of being lied to by a smug bastard of a salesman. He gives you bullshit motivational speeches & tries to convince you how relatable he is, whilst he really fucks about having swordfights with the Royals and James Blunt....oh and the fucker still wants your cash.

Track 1: Eraser - The album starts with a very nice guitar hook, 4 seconds in and Im quite impressed.... then he starts "rapping". I had to stop & restart because I started uncontrollably laughing. It goes to show how little I know about him because apparently he does this a lot in his own tunes, not just covers? If Dr Dre has the best rap voice Ive ever heard, this posh twat certainly has the worst. I cant take it seriously at all. It has a catchy chorus, but his voice is irritating in the extreme.

Track 2 - Castle on the hill. This is a horribly twee mumford & sons style bag of shite, full of fake sentimentality which makes me want to throw up, all in that voice... urgh. This is awful.

Track 3 - Dive. Everything about music I cant stand. However it is easily the best performance from Edward so far. He is a shit pub singer. This is a shit song Id expect someone to be singing in a pub...so this is his speciality.

Track 4 - Shape of You. Right, this one isn't as bad. Its different. If the production was beefed up with more of a beat & he didn't sing it, I might like it. His shitty whiny voice ruins it. There is more variety in the album in 4 tracks than I expected. Even though I cant stand it.

Track 5 - Perfect - As generic shitty, heard it 500 times before ballads go, it does its job. The problem is the bastard's voice.

Track 6 - Galway Girl. I have special contempt for this. A load of old bollocks tale about meeting some Irish girl. Yeah, that happened didn't it? You lying fucker. Absolutely cynical ploy to grab a sales angle. Plays up to all Irish sterotypes. Its all cynical beyond belief. I WANT YOUR MONEY. 

Track 7 - Happier. Absolutely awful, but suits him down to the ground. Fake and boring as fuck.

Track 8 -  New Man. Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Why does he talk about someone's boyfriend having his arsehole bleached? I couldnt take it seriously to begin with, now Im confused. The song is awful, he wants to make you think he is a nice guy, but he is a gimp....however the thought of millions of 10 year old girls singing that bleached line has made me laugh though... on that basis: Its a keeper & Ill give him credit for that.

Track 9 -  Hearts dont break around here. From the title alone, you can tell this is a bag of horseshit, but my god, this worse than I imagined. It has done the something incredible. Made me think Coldplay are not that annoying. I didn't finish listening to it at first. I found it that awful. Possibly the worst song Ive ever heard & that is not a joke. I went back to finish it and it sounded worse.

Track 10 - What do I know? Starts ok musically (maybe Ive been numbed after what Id just heard?). The lyrics are twee in the extreme & make me want to gouge my eyes out.

Track 11 -  How would you feel? Another generic soppy shitty ballad. This suits him. Wet, generic, bland.

Track 12 -  Supermarket Flowers - Right, this is a shock.... I like this one. There, I've said it. It is not my type of thing musically, but it is everything the rest of the album isn't - it's honest. 
Its a tale about someone who had died (his mum I think) and lyrically is lightyears above anything else on the album. 
Whilst this is still the sentimental ballad type, the tone is different and its specific. Gone is the generic bullshit & here is someone talking about loss in an honest way. I can appreciate that.

Overall review

Fucking awful. The worst full album Ive ever listened to, by some distance. Fake in the extreme 1 track I struggled to even finish listening to it was that offensive to my ears. An absolute abomination

It is however slightly more varied musically than I expected, even if its lyrics are different variations on the same disingenuous bullshit. Some of the guitar hooks are decent.  Supermarket flowers surprised me in a good way, and 1 other tune might be OK if he wasn't singing it with that shitty posh whiny voice of his.

Sheeran wants to relate. He tries so hard to relate to everyone & for everyone to like him... tries so hard cos thats what salesmen do.... well for 99% of this album he sucessfully manages to make me think he is a bigger twat that I did previously. 

Overall mark 2/10 (an extra point for supermarket flowers) - this is a much better score than I expected it to be, I can't lie.

[rzwodezwo]

Had a proper listen to the new record yesterday. It's pretty shite, anyone seriously considering to give Ed Sheeran a shot would be better off with the last album, there's lots of decent tunes on that one. That said, Castle On The Hill is still a banger! 

[SteveTLizard]

4 hours ago, Avalon_Fields said:

He obviously divides opinion...

Yep, those that think he's shit and those that haven't found out yet.

[henry bear]

I wonder if it's a case of the Ed bashers on here secretly enjoy his body of work but don't want to admit it to themselves or others? 

[dentalplan]

2 minutes ago, henry bear said:

I wonder if it's a case of the Ed bashers on here secretly enjoy his body of work but don't want to admit it to themselves or others? 

I searched for Ed Sheeran's name on here yesterday and it was a wall of tennis balls so I'll put a quid on @FuzzyDunlop

Edited March 17, 2017 by dentalplan

[bennyhana22]

18 minutes ago, russycarps said:

flaming lips, JP tent. Be there!

 

Bonobo, West Holts

Where the beautiful people will be!

Ben

[FuzzyDunlop]

18 minutes ago, russycarps said:

flaming lips, JP tent. Be there!

 

I hope you are right

[CaledonianGonzo]

21 minutes ago, CaledonianGonzo said:

if West Holts drops the ball

 

6 minutes ago, bennyhana22 said:

Bonobo, West Holts

Flips it is

[bennyhana22]

1 minute ago, CaledonianGonzo said:

 

Flips it is

What is wrong with you, you...you....

Nnnhgh...

Ben

[bennyhana22]

New Bonobo record is flippin' astonishing!

And flippin' better than the Novelty Flips Band^TM!

Ben

[FloorFiller]

Just now, CaledonianGonzo said:

 

Flips it is

Still got whatever Other has to offer to come. It has to be something good. They've done pretty well with decent counter-acts to the Sunday night Pyramid shitefest in the past few years.