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Glastonbury 2016 - In Retrospect


CaledonianGonzo
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9 hours ago, balti-pie said:

I got in a good half an hour before Art Garfunkel started, to get a decent spot - about halfway back in the tent, just to the right hand side as you look at the stage. Big group of seated people behind me tutted at me, and one fella asked me to move - I said mate, I'm not being funny but this is a festival, I'm here to see musical acts, so no, I'll not be moving. 

Ten minutes later the stewards are asking them all to fold away their chairs/tables/picnic baskets and stand up, because the world and his wife had entered the tent and it was rammo . . . . I couldn't help but chuckle at their relentless stupidity, really :lol:

Thats great. They're the worst sort of people at the festival. c**ts like them and c**ts who talk through gigs.

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3 minutes ago, The Nal said:

Thats great. They're the worst sort of people at the festival. c**ts like them and c**ts who talk through gigs.

Oooooh that one gets my fuckin' goat. Normally dickheads do it during the quiet songs when you're really trying to listen and enjoy. Bellends.  Had it at Levellers on Friday during Julie.

The other one is people who squeeze in and then complain they don't have room.  Woman in Brighton Dome last month squeezed in behind me during the break between acts, then after about 5 minutes tutted and said (I shit you not) "excuse me, do I look like a lamppost?  Could you stop leaning on me?".  Politely pointed out that I hadn't moved and went back to my beer.

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some absolute whopper at radiohead in the roundhouse did the old pushing through the crowd trick just before the start, I shuffled aside to let him and his drippy missus through, then they both proceeded to stop in the tiny gap I had painstakingly created to let them through! I have no problem at all with people squeezing through to return to their original spot after a trip to the bar/bog, but these tits were just taking the piss. He looked like he was going to cry when I carefully explained that they wouldnt be staying there.

Thank god radiohead fans in london are the wimpiest group of humans on the planet.

 

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Just now, russycarps said:

some absolute whopper at radiohead in the roundhouse did the old pushing through the crowd trick just before the start, I shuffled aside to let him and his drippy missus through, then they both proceeded to stop in the tiny gap I had painstakingly created to let them through! I have no problem at all with people squeezing through to return to their original spot after a trip to the bar/bog, but these tits were just taking the piss. He looked like he was going to cry when I carefully explained that they wouldnt be staying there.

Thank god radiohead fans in london are the wimpiest group of humans on the planet.

 

You can bet he wrote a scathing commentary about you on his vegan lifestyle blog after the gig though.

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29 minutes ago, Scruffylovemonster said:

Same thing happened to me at SFA at Leadmill. Got tapped on shoulder, turned side on to let him through and he stood there, so I was looking at his ear. Told him to keep going or go back. He looked confused and as if I was being n arse. Lookily he also was a wimp and carried on forwards when I explained I hadn't paid to see his cheekbones. 

ha that's exactly the same, I was side-on and off balance. What sort of a cretin thinks they can just park up in that situation? Like you, he looked at me like I was the bad-guy. There's nothing I hate more than confrontation but sometimes you have to stand up for yourself! Obviously my missus kicked off at me for causing a scene :rolleyes:

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10 minutes ago, BlackHole2006 said:

Jeff Tweedy sums these people up perfectly: 

 

Great post. This is worth it's own thread. I'd add people who periscope the entire fucking gig and particularly at Glastonbury those chains of hand-in-hand teenage girls who think because they're small and cute they can barge their way through a crowd with no comebacks

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39 minutes ago, BlackHole2006 said:

Jeff Tweedy sums these people up perfectly: 

I've a mate who constantly talks through gigs, or used to anyway. He asked me to make him a Wilco mix CD before we went to see them because he didn't know them so I ripped that audio and put it as track #1. 

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2 minutes ago, Scruffylovemonster said:

Brilliant!! Did it work?

Yep! We'd seen Roger Daltry play shortly before and he was talking all the way through. He has a sharp piercing voice when he talks loud too. Lots of people sshhing him and giving him stares. I moved away. 

Felt a bit bad because he got me the ticket via some production worker mate of his but then I thought ah fuck him.

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6 minutes ago, The Nal said:

I've a mate who constantly talks through gigs, or used to anyway. He asked me to make him a Wilco mix CD before we went to see them because he didn't know them so I ripped that audio and put it as track #1. 

Nice.

I don't mind the occasional comment about how good the gig is if someone is enjoying it - but the people that constantly talk shit throughout are really fucking annoying. Don't blame you for wanting to move away from your friend. 

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1 minute ago, BlackHole2006 said:

Nice.

I don't mind the occasional comment about how good the gig is if someone is enjoying it - but the people that constantly talk shit throughout are really fucking annoying. Don't blame you for wanting to move away from your friend. 

Course yeah. Don't expect people standing there with their fingers on their lips but talking for 15-20 minutes straight about how shit the processes are in their work or how they've always wanted to go to Vietnam isn't on.

Stones in 2013. 15-20 people barged forward 30 minutes in to where we were (left of the sound stage), plonked a load of bags and chairs etc in a pile and stood around in a circle having their own little party. No interest in the gig. Half of them with their backs to the stage, shouting across at each other, throwing beer about and so on. About 50 people around us moved!

Got a lot closer to the stage as it happens - chair c**ts had just stood up - so worked out ok. 

 

I saw one of the blokes in the showers the next day so strapped him to a chair....

tumblr_msnd9ff0C71qbxh0uo1_400.gif

 

And then I recognised one of them in the carpark on Monday and nabbed him just as he was getting into his car.

tumblr_m9z3rvT9Wj1qcga5ro1_500.gif

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35 minutes ago, The Nal said:

I've a mate who constantly talks through gigs, or used to anyway. He asked me to make him a Wilco mix CD before we went to see them because he didn't know them so I ripped that audio and put it as track #1. 

Again, this is why I'm growing to prefer going to gigs on my own :)

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50 minutes ago, Scruffylovemonster said:

Hand in hand chainy girls do annoy me but I cut them more slack than the others, especially if they're 14/15 ish. They don't wanna lose each other and although we know there's other ways of doing that, they haven't necessarily learned them yet. Or maybe I'm being too kind and they're just inconsiderate fucks!

 

 If they're over 25, however, I trip one of them up! Watch a couple stumble behind her and the back two or three stand on the others' heads. Priceless!

I just plant my feet and don't move.  They've never got the most solid balance as they hurtle through the crowd anyway, so it's always quite fun to watch them pinball off into the distance.

How else will they learn?

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worse then the chair cu**s are the picnic blanket cu**s...dangerous as well, not easy to see people basically sat on the floor in the middle of a crowd and a high danger of having being falling on them injuring themselves or the people falling over them.....if you want to do that go away from the main bit of the crowd dont expect to setup right in the middle of it all and then have noone step on your bloody pimms o clock!.....oh and tutting at them will just mean they stand on it with BOTH feet next time haha

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Agreed.  I have no issue with either chairs or blankets so long as they are at a reasonable position in the crowd depending on the time of day!!

A picnic blanket near the soundstage is fine late lunch / early afternoon.  Not so much during a headliner.

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13 minutes ago, Quark said:

Again, this is why I'm growing to prefer going to gigs on my own :)

if it's one of my favourite bands and a quiet act that demands my full attention, I'll just buy myself a ticket and not even invite anyone to come with me. It's the only way. 

Or if the act are playing more than once I'll go one time alone, and once with friends. I'll do this next time nick cave plays. Only problem is the crippling cost!

 

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Just now, russycarps said:

if it's one of my favourite bands and a quiet act that demands my full attention, I'll just buy myself a ticket and not even invite anyone to come with me. It's the only way. 

That's bang on what I've started doing.  Does depend on the band to a point, but over the last month:

Bear's Den - went alone because I really wanted to properly listen.  Didn't regret it for a moment.

Palace - invited a mate along, sure enough he talked the whole way through.  In his defence he's having a rough time and the band were very dull.

Levellers - always been my favourite band, and for various reasons over the last 20 odd years they've just been very personal to me. Went solo and was probably my favourite gig of theirs outside of Glastonbury.

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3 minutes ago, russycarps said:

if it's one of my favourite bands and a quiet act that demands my full attention, I'll just buy myself a ticket and not even invite anyone to come with me. It's the only way. 

Or if the act are playing more than once I'll go one time alone, and once with friends. I'll do this next time nick cave plays. Only problem is the crippling cost!

 

I love going on my own, id rather just have myself to look after at a gig and noone to distract me....espcially if its a heavy gig, can just have a few drinks and jump into the fray :)

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I always like the slightly awkward moments when someone either finds out I'm going, or that I have been.  It's either "mind if I join you?" or "Oh, I would have come if I'd known".

As years go by I'm much better at just saying "Yeah, I'm going on my own.  Thanks though". :)

Anyone else get odd looks from people who just can't comprehend the idea of doing something by yourself? :lol:

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1 hour ago, The Nal said:

Course yeah. Don't expect people standing there with their fingers on their lips but talking for 15-20 minutes straight about how shit the processes are in their work or how they've always wanted to go to Vietnam isn't on.

Stones in 2013. 15-20 people barged forward 30 minutes in to where we were (left of the sound stage), plonked a load of bags and chairs etc in a pile and stood around in a circle having their own little party. No interest in the gig. Half of them with their backs to the stage, shouting across at each other, throwing beer about and so on. About 50 people around us moved!

Got a lot closer to the stage as it happens - chair c**ts had just stood up - so worked out ok.

Christ, if that were me I would have been so pissed off. All that build up and excitement to be ruined by a bunch of selfish nobheads. That's the main problem with watching Pyramid headliners IMO, if you don't arrive super early, you end up getting surrounded by dickheads who don't give a shit and just want to take selfies and send them to their mates.

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32 minutes ago, BlackHole2006 said:

Christ, if that were me I would have been so pissed off. All that build up and excitement to be ruined by a bunch of selfish nobheads. That's the main problem with watching Pyramid headliners IMO, if you don't arrive super early, you end up getting surrounded by dickheads who don't give a shit and just want to take selfies and send them to their mates.

You don't have to even arrive that early. Really just have to get past the  groups of chair and blanket c**ts nearest to the stage. Theres usually a bit of room in and around the sound stages area ish. Its further back from there and at the sides where it becomes a roadblock shitshow because the chair and blanket c**ts don't stand up until the band comes on. 

Theres still no better place to watch a show than the back of the pit though.

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On 03/10/2016 at 3:42 PM, CaledonianGonzo said:

 - how does 2016 measure up?  How will posterity judge it?

Did the mud banjax it for you?

Sorry to go back to the beginning of the thread, but I've realised I want to leave a marker here. 

While it wasn't a vintage year, it was still much fun. Yes the traffic was bad and campervan arrivals were delayed. Yes it was sodden underfoot. But the essential elements were there.

As always, a really diverse group of friends who perhaps only meet each year in Pilton. A selection of bands, performances, DJs across the entertainment spectrum. No Bones Jones still cranking out superb revitalising food. 

I loved the new JP location; I enjoyed the Grime-fest;  but Brexit was a bitch and I'm only now able to write about it, having been horribly scarred over the course of the weekend. 

Roll on June 17 next year; Wembley for The Stone Roses, followed by picking up this year's campervan and heading back to Pilton on June 20. This may very well be the last time...having not missed one since 2004.

Edited by annax
hippos
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