Overheard funnies

[Quark]

Gradually coming back to me now...

Young girl struggling through mud to friend: "I reckon this must be what world war one was like".

Nearly fell over at that one.

[airwaves]

The more I read these the more it's coming over as a 'let's make fun of the posh oiks' thread.

 

 

And there's nothing wrong with that is there!!!!!!!

 

[fairfranco]

stopped by at the end of Newton Faulkner who had just stripped off to his pants.  This was something because he's in the Greenday American Idiot musical in his pants the whole time which lead me to expect a Greenday cover but as it was we got Bohemian Rhapsody! (Unexpected!)

In any case, we were singing along at the back when someone walked past saying "Ed Sheeran's looking around these days in't he!"

 

For anyone that saw Land Of The Giants, their trombone player is a much better look a like and has been approached by quite a few people thinking he is Newton!

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

1 hour ago, Quark said:

Young girl struggling through mud to friend: "I reckon this must be what world war one was like".

I had exactly the same thought in 2007. It really brought home to me the sacrifices that were made by our forefathers so that we could have the freedom to have events like Glastonbury.

[alibear]

29 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

I had exactly the same thought in 2007. It really brought home to me the sacrifices that were made by our forefathers so that we could have the freedom to have events like Glastonbury.

Indeed. I remember saying something akin to : "It's like the Somme at the Other Stage", before quickly realising that despite the ground conditions, it would still have been infinitely better than WW1 for millions of reasons. Actually felt a bit silly!

[Dave F.]

Walking through Glebeland one afternoon I walked passed a couple (unable to confirm their 'poshness') who were approaching the giraffes street theatre (https://twitter.com/VIPPuppets) 
 

Man: Ah, look at the giraffes

Woman, (who was old enough to know better), Oh yeah. Are they real?

...And Grimes talking was pretty funny as well

Edited June 28, 2016 by Dave F.

[Padgey]

Upon realising the news of the referendum a lad in the tent next to us rang his Dad and simply said "Dad I actually feel like crying"

[phil the shrew]

Was stood on the edge of the railway line overlooking the Other stage and up towards the Park when this exchange took place one night.

Two lads (slightly the worse for wear): "Mate do you know where Arcadia is"

In the back ground two large flames shoot from the Arcadia spider, coupled with whoops of delight from the crowd

Me: Err no sorry lads no idea

.....I did walk after them and point them in the right direction after.

[shuttlep]

a group of Irish camped next to us. I heard them wake up Friday morning and say

 

"Oh My god the English have voted out, they are a bunch of Thick bastards"

 

my reply

 

"Only 51% of us"

[gorfield]

Just remembered another...

me and my mate trying our best to push buggies through the mud and trying to keep some momentum and some young girl stops us to ask if we have any baby wipes as she has mud on her hand..

 

 

[alibear]

3 hours ago, gorfield said:

Just remembered another...

me and my mate trying our best to push buggies through the mud and trying to keep some momentum and some young girl stops us to ask if we have any baby wipes as she has mud on her hand..

 

 

Christ....

Keep em' coming guys - I love hearing your stories!

[maelzoid]

I was amazed again at the large number of Scousers in attendance - no bad thing, but I assume See Tickets servers must be in Liverpool.

But one helpfully warned me, pointing at a totally random spot of ground in a huge sea of mud (in thick Scouse accent). "Watch that bit there, mate! It's fooking slippy!"

[rpfranks]

Guy looking rather uneasy during Wolf Alice

"I'm not sure if I've just farted or shit myself"

His friend: "Put your hand down there and check"

Guy (with two beers in his hands): "Can you check for me?" 

 His friend (after looking down the back of his shorts): "Mate I think you need to go to the toilet"

Edited June 28, 2016 by rpfranks

[rpfranks]

And also. During ELO

"This isn't Jess Glynne"

[shuttlep]

6 minutes ago, maelzoid said:

I was amazed again at the large number of Scousers in attendance - no bad thing, but I assume See Tickets servers must be in Liverpool.

But one helpfully warned me, pointing at a totally random spot of ground in a huge sea of mud (in thick Scouse accent). "Watch that bit there, mate! It's fooking slippy!"

walking to the urinals during colplay, 

 

my welly got stuck in the mud and I fell on one knee, was about to face plant and some scouse guy bounced out nowhere and saved me . 

 

"you got to be carefgull kidda, I fell twice yesterday "

lovely guy got me out and I shook his hand

[slash's hat]

57 minutes ago, maelzoid said:

I was amazed again at the large number of Scousers in attendance - no bad thing, but I assume See Tickets servers must be in Liverpool.

But one helpfully warned me, pointing at a totally random spot of ground in a huge sea of mud (in thick Scouse accent). "Watch that bit there, mate! It's fooking slippy!"

Thank f*** for scousers .  Some very lovely scouse lads jump started my car after breaking down on the a39 after loads of others just driving on. 

[flashingimages]

Waking up on the Saturday morning I overheard the guy in the tent next to us talking to his friend.

"yeah last night I watched a bit of Muse, then just came back to the tent and watched some Glastonbury on BBC Iplayer'

I couldn't believe it!

[Larraht]

At Shibushirazu Orchestra at West Holts... one guy says to his friend 'hmm...is this a bit camp?'

The guy on stage was wearing a kimono with just underpants underneath, two women up there dancing with giant bananas etc... yeh, a bit camp.

[hfuhruhurr]

Hope the bad trip dude on Thursday is ok - totally off his tits - to the point it stopped being funny.

A bloke came up to me: "it's not right you know, it just isn't, they're not for books, should be just for phones" uh? "Phone boxes, it's not right to make them into libraries". He was very concerned, very serious, didn't want to talk about anything else.

Up in the Park, two girls asked "Where's the ribbon tower?"
Me: "There - that thing, tower shaped, covered in ribbons"
Them: "Oh, I wondered what that was"

 

[TheNewUnion]

Woman on the phone trying to find her mates...

"Where? Welsh flag? What?"

Then she taps me on the shoulder, points at the sea of flags and says "which one is a Welsh flag"

 

(Bonus one from Belgium a few years back, girl says to the bloke next to her "what's that Mumford and Sons song with the banjo". Bloke looks at her sympathetically and says "all of them"

[milly16]

Watching Symths Tribute band in Williams Green,a young guy next to me started singing  and then asked this other guy...."Is this The Smiths on stage now..happening now.

[MilkyJoe]

19 hours ago, Beerqueen said:

Billy Bragg said something along the lines of "2,000 pairs of wellies have been sold.  That's 2,000 people who thought 'I'm going to Glastonbury, I'll be ok without wellies' that says a lot about people's decision making".

love it. Spent a bit of time watching Billy this year and he was on top form.

 

On the subject of poshies I was behind 2 teenage girls...

"Ooh shall we walk through the Green Futures?"

"No, it's fucking horrible in there!"

[Slavivlad]

Queuing for the silent disco on Saturday night (3am ish), some young lady and her male companion (must have been like 18 max) come over to us and eye up the queue. 

The girl says: "Excuse me, how long have you been waiting here for?"

To which she receives a reply of: "About 24 hours now"

Her male companion: "You're lying, there aren't even 24 hours in a day"

We broke down in tears.

[NickisGinger]

"Is that fire spider part of Glastonbury Festival aswell?"

Young girl, leaving Arcadia show. Made me chuckle.

[Toffee Crisp]

We had a House of Stark flag next to our tents. At around 4am one morning a group of young lads walking past screamed 'THE NORTH REMEMBERS!!!!!" and proceeded to chant the game of thrones theme tune, dancing around our tents with the utmost joy. It was so brilliant I didn't mind being woken up so dramatically.