Funny things overheard at the festival

[waynewdk]

Seen a guy sat at bottom of penards walk way dressed as Cookie Monster with out the head part, I passed 5 hours ago and he was still there playing a cheap £10 keyboard, I said have you been there all day, he goes " i want to but don't think this baby's guna last, do you know this number" then proceeded to press one key over and over

[Buttonhead]

Girl 1: 'god it smells here, I wonder why?'

Girl 2: 'could be the wind'

They were walking past a row of toilets...

[Abu T Hamster]

At the brothers bar

 

Girl to man dressed as the moon from The Mighty Boosh "what are you dressed as?"

 

The moon responded "An extra strong mint"

[CiaranMc]

Saw a guy dressed in furry bottoms and a naked woman tee shirt on Williams Green on Friday (I think) afternoon, Fast asleep clutching an open can of something in one hand and hugging a rubber doll with the other.

A small group of people had gathered Looking at him and wondering whether to wake him.

He suddenly woke of his own accord, looked around in total confusion, and immediately started drinking the remainder of his can, much to the delight of everyone watching.

Edited June 30, 2015 by CiaranMc

[Hoax]

By the toilets at west holts : "mate mate! Alex just shat on the wall!!"

At the john peel during Hinds, the singer asks : are you all feeling a bit hungover? To which someone from the crowd shouts : "I cant feel my fucking jaw!"

Brilliant stuff..

[HurrahBrother]

My friend was also singing The Rains of Castamere at the top of his lungs on the way to Shangri La on Sunday night, I really hope people heard that.

I hope he was not on his way to a wedding!

[Aragorn]

Man - This might sounds weird but Glastonbury is not as big as I thought it would be 

Woman - That is because you have seen less than half of it so far 

 

I did laugh 

[budvar]

More concerning than anything else, but a girl (I'd guess 17) came up to me and my mate in the Stone Circle and asked if I knew where she could buy a ballon. I told her they weren't really around there anymore, she said, "Oh no. I really need a ballon."

The kids aren't alright

[cellar]

Would never usually post, but this conversation on Wednesday was brilliant:

 

"Mate, pizza before ket"

 

"Nah man, ket as a starter, pizza for dessert"

 

"Seriously though, pizza for mains, ket for dessert"

 

"I'm having ket for a starter man"

 

Pretty sure he had ket for a starter

[Koroviev]

Sunrise at the Glastonbury letters, a guy gets to the top of the hill near the letters who had lost all spacial awareness standing literally right next to a loved up couple sharing the Glastonbury sunrise proclaiming "IT'S FOOKIN' MASSIVE" in a fantastically northern accent as he turned around to look at the site.

 

He was completely taken aback by it all.

Edited July 1, 2015 by Koroviev

[Gregcharlie]

Group of girls who were pushing through to get out before Pharrell one of them said and was obviously pissed at her friends

"Fucking great we've wasted all this time getting through this crowd only to be at the wrong fucking stage"

[airwaves]

Can't remember who I was watching / listening to at the time, but I was well in amongst the crowd for whoever, though it was not crowded.

 

A 'girl' next to me, teenage?, trying to have a conversation with someone on her mobile phone, kept switching the loudspeaker option on and off.

 

"I can't hear you. It's too fucking noisy."

 

 

You're at a music gig love. What did you expect!

[TomViolence]

3 women left the Sharon Van Etten crowd as it was about to start screaming "OMG, THE TBA IS OASIS"

I also overhead 2 people saying there seemed to be a lot of people named 'Mandy' and 'Charlie' this year

[JoeyT]

Not so much a funny thing I heard but I got so pickled on the Wednesday I ended "coming to my senses" in one of the car parks by gate A at 3am.

 

Didn't have a pass out on me and had no recollection of how I got there.

 

Answers on a postcard...

[Untz]

Lying in my tent about 5am on Monday morning I overhear someone who sounded very wasted: "I have to be in work for 6!"

[snowbadger]

Heard a random guy approach the tower in the park, stand in amazement to his girlfriend and say " That is one massive instrument"

 

Also not over heard but did anyone else see a girl walking completely naked from the Big ground toilets on Friday morning ?

 

Also found a full set of false teeth in the toilets by Arcadia !! 

[sebcity]

This is a funny thread

[Keithy]

Sunday morning, by the Arcadia toilets. Chap squeezing a lady's left tit - "it feels perfectly normal to me, I think you're imagining it"

[Matt - Ed Banger Records]

Wandering around Silver Hayes on the Thursday night and a woman turned to her mate and said 'right, so I know that you're, like, mixed race, but what do you and your family call yourselves?' he just replied 'errr, white?'

 

No idea why I found that so bizarre/funny to be honest - they were both nutted in truth.

[Quark]

Overhead on Friday morning from the tent next to mine after young chap's first visit to The Unfairground:

 

"So we were wandering around, and we ended up in this really fuckin' weird place with giant babies' heads and shit all over the place.  I've had fuckin' nightmares, man.  I'm pretty sure it was real."

 

On an evening wander:

 

Lad #1: Which one's the pyramid stage?

Lad #2: The one where we saw Kanye

Lad #3: Really, was that the pyramid?

 

And my personal favourite, walking past the EE charge tent.  Chap in the crowd walking past shouts "GET OFF TWITTER YOU C*NTS AND ENJOY REAL LIFE FOR A BIT!"

[jeffie]

Overhead on Friday morning from the tent next to mine after young chap's first visit to The Unfairground:

 

"So we were wandering around, and we ended up in this really fuckin' weird place with giant babies' heads and shit all over the place.  I've had fuckin' nightmares, man.  I'm pretty sure it was real."

 

Were you camped in Dairy?

[evilduck]

Seen a guy sat at bottom of penards walk way dressed as Cookie Monster with out the head part, I passed 5 hours ago and he was still there playing a cheap £10 keyboard, I said have you been there all day, he goes " i want to but don't think this baby's guna last, do you know this number" then proceeded to press one key over and over

We walked past him just as we had started on a pack of cookies, so my mate went over to give him one. He stared at it for a good 30 seconds before taking it, I think he had forgotten what he was dressed as.

[stuartbert two hats]

Sunrise at the Glastonbury letters, a guy gets to the top of the hill near the letters who had lost all spacial awareness standing literally right next to a loved up couple sharing the Glastonbury sunrise proclaiming "IT'S FOOKIN' MASSIVE" in a fantastically northern accent as he turned around to look at the site.

 

He was completely taken aback by it all.

I think you'll find he said "fucking", it's southerners who saying "facking"

[Quark]

Were you camped in Dairy?

Nope, Big Ground.  But I have a feeling that the sentiment was being echoed by 18 year olds across the site.

[kidpresentable]

Thursday night walking back to camp (Dairy Ground):

 

Campsite Attendant: "So do you know the name of the field you camped in?"

Confused girl: "No."

Campsite Attendant: "Oh."