Funny things overheard at the festival

[bamber]

Two blokes in deep conversation at the back end of Greenpeace field by the tunnel:

 

"Now you see, I could have said that to my second or fourth wife, but never to my third"

[deebeedoobee]

Beans on Toast sang the line (something along the lines of) "How often are you satisfied" To which a Welsh voice piped up " Well if truth be told , not often"

[Winslow Leach]

"Nah mate, you're definitely getting him mixed up with Stevie Wonder."- while arriving at Lionel Richie's set.

[milly16]

Watching Florence and she was going on about Dave Grohl getting better.

 

The girl behind us shouted sing The dog Dave's are over.

 

Guy on the train home yesterday on the phone to his mate telling him to come to london,then he looked up and asked if we were closer to Bristol or London....being that we were ten mins away from paddington.

[wilko8]

Grumpy bloke at Florence when she asked the crowd to be her choir......"NO, GET YOUR OWN FUCKING CHOIR"

Girlfriend to hungover/sick guy in a queue for the toilet....."what do I always tell you?? Never eat chicken in the dark!"

[rinzeanne]

Not really overheard, but I had just a big laugh on the man dressed in a white dress in the T&C field, having a banana against his hear and keep repeating one sentence, like 100 times.

 

Is there anybody who actually heard what he said precisely? It was something like "I can't build with ..." .

[AiiShotTheDJ]

"Oh my God, Hozier is Scottish!".  "I've heard who Florence's sub is...it's One Direction".

 

Some Liverpudlian was told by a lifeguard in the T+C area "sorry, no running".  He replied "oh for fucks sake, I can't even fucking run now?!"- the lifeguard looked terrified but proceeded to tell him it was "the rules".

Edited June 30, 2015 by AiiShotTheDJ

[Miathedog]

Don't you reckon Glastonbury is just like France?

(No idea why but wondered all weekend)

[funksoulfever]

overheard in bushy sth toilets

"wht do i do with these cups? poo in them or wee in them?"

[stuwilky]

A lad to his mate in the queue at Gate A at the zig zag bit, "I now know how the people on Rollercoaster Tycoon feel when they're queueing up for rides".

 

I heard someone say that as well!  Wasnt about 930 ish was it?!  A group of three lads I think (I spoke to lots of folk in the que and cant remember which one said it!)

Edited June 30, 2015 by stuwilky

[SimplyFred]

I think the funniest moment for us was when we were all in fancy dress Thursday night and some geezer dressed as God declared 'oh no it's satan' to one of our group who was actually dressed as an extremely camp red-riding hood.

[Matt42]

Dalai Lama: "There are people consumed with greed who start wars"

*complete silence*

Some Guy: "Bastards!"

 

Oh and

 

Some Guy on the Phone: "Chris mate how was your mandy mission?"

[rottencrotch]

Not really overheard, but I had just a big laugh on the man dressed in a white dress in the T&C field, having a banana against his hear and keep repeating one sentence, like 100 times.

Is there anybody who actually heard what he said precisely? It was something like "I can't build with ..." .

He was being escorted by his 'nurse' and was using the banana as a phone/camera, taking pictures of people and the nurse would then look at the banana and shake her head. Forgot all about him!

[Starchild771]

A little girl with her parents walked past the Williams Green (extra stinky)long drops.

"Mummy, I don't like the toilets"!

"Its ok honey..."

"MUMMY... I REAAAALLYY DON'T LIKE THE TOILEEEEEEETTTTTS!!!"

Poor kid, I felt her pain.

[deebeedoobee]

A little girl with her parents walked past the Williams Green (extra stinky)long drops.

"Mummy, I don't like the toilets"!

"Its ok honey..."

"MUMMY... I REAAAALLYY DON'T LIKE THE TOILEEEEEEETTTTTS!!!"

Poor kid, I felt her pain.

 

To be fair I may have been saying that in my head a few times over the weekend 

[myers]

on my way back too big ground, stopped off at one the only places to eat that were still open,just off muddy lane at about 03.30am...  a girl with her fella in front off me....... she asked, can i have a cheeseburger but i don't want you too touch any off the food with your fingers!!! the guy looked at her like ....what???   haha... i burst out laughing an she got a bit of shit!!!.. then her fella moved her on !! cheeseburger less!

[funksoulfever]

wasnt hilarious but the usual im nt listening thing, my mate and i were waiting for the girl at a food stall to finish doing the bacon, she anounced loudly that bacon would be about 5 mins and anyone who wanted something else should come foward in the cue. Some lad walks all the way from back of cue and and says can i have a bacon bun please, at which everyone in cue just laughs, the girl repeats the bacon is cooking so he would have to wait an does he want anything else. Ok ill have sausage and bacon bun he replies.....ffs thought the lass was gunna stab him with the utensils

[Leggins]

In the crowd for everything everything at the Other stage and one of the stewards on the disabled viewing platform was desperately trying to get the attention of a mate he had spotted in the crowd. He asked my friend to tap him on the shoulder to get his attention which she did. The steward then, having the attention of his mate greeted him with a very loud "Alright mate!!! And an accompanying w*nker hand gesture. The bewildered guy in the crowd just looked at him blankly and the steward's face dropped as he realised he'd just w*nker gestured a complete stranger.

[O'Doyle Rules]

Saw someone dressed as a giant tuna on Friday morning in the save the barrier reef tent singing his heart out to hello by lionel richie and doing very well!

[Crystal Waters]

During Burt a bloke behind us said "Why does he just play covers and not his own stuff?"

[Rlm86]

In T&C, watching the guys dressed like Scott of the Antarctic.

Guy asks them "where are you headed mate?"

Scott - "South"

Guy - " you should head towards the sun then"

Scott - "thank you, you're a wise man"

Guy - " yeah, that's what they said when I first went to the moon"

I felt like following him round to see what else he would say

[EighteenSixty7]

I heard someone say that as well!  Wasnt about 930 ish was it?!  A group of three lads I think (I spoke to lots of folk in the que and cant remember which one said it!)

 

Probably around that time. I know they were a small group of lads, I think the lad who said it had longish black hair.

 

 

--

 

After we'd finished watching The Who and were off down to West Holts, my sister said "I didn't even realise that 'Who Are You' song was by the The Who, I thought it was a pisstake" needless to say I was howling with laughter.

[wilem]

A little girl with her parents walked past the Williams Green (extra stinky)long drops.

"Mummy, I don't like the toilets"!

"Its ok honey..."

"MUMMY... I REAAAALLYY DON'T LIKE THE TOILEEEEEEETTTTTS!!!"

Poor kid, I felt her pain.

This was undoubtedly my sister

[Funkyfairy!]

A friend heard this whilst in the long drops

LIttle boy (when he went into the long drop) Mummy are there crocodiles down there ?

mummy - no darling , it's much worse than crocodiles !

[noplacelikehome]

Bit of a cheat as it was one of our group but my sister trying to persuade her other half to watch Motörhead when he wanted to see something else - he wasn't happy but she was persistent, in the end he just gave in and shouted

"I can't believe it! I have been thwarted by The Wart!"