My boyfriend cheated and we're meant to be going...should I still go alone?

[Padgey]

I'm sure you realised that you were only ever likely to get one answer to that question from this collection of Glastonbury lovers, most of who are men, many of who are single!

Probably aimed at Couchy!!! Haha

[morph100]

Oh wow you're from my town, Uxbridge. I've Pm'd you.

I was going to say find some people who are going from near you and then meet up with them over the next few weeks for drinks and make plans, car share etc so when you arrive you are not alone and already have a few new friends. Plenty of people on here, facebook groups and other places, once you find a few you will be fine.

[Sachet88]

I'm in my fifties (wearing converse btw) and you're probably not much older than my sons, so maybe I'm feeling a bit protective...but if you were my daughter and had just been cheated on by some slime bag, I'd drive you to the drop off point, press a few notes in your hand and tell you to have a damn good time.

I'd also tell you to take care and not do anything stupid and to find a few people you might rely on if you get a bit weepy (aka a solo camper group). And I'd make sure you had a mobile phone and knew to keep it charged, just so you could give me or a forewarned mate at home a call if you ever felt the need.

Go. Go. Go.

If it's too much for you, you can always go home. But I promise you going will be the best thing you could do that weekend (and most of the rest of the year).

Thank you, I'm fairly sensible (probably too sensible for my own good!) and not a big drinker so I think I'll be ok on that front, will just have to make sure I'm prepared!

[sheffieldlady]

I'm glad you've decided to come (like many have said it's a forum where people love Glastonbury). I haven't been to the meet before but plan on going this year having been convinced that it will be worth by while

There are some great threads for tips for first timers and http://www.glastoearth.com/the-faqis a great site for getting to know a little bit more about the festival so you feel much more prepared for the experience.

You're a better women than I am, I wouldn't be overly willing to share a tent with him! He should bloody well get his own tent!

I hope you are happily planning what to do with your time at Worthy Farm - you will not regret your decision.

[MatthewBL]

I've never done a festival before and my boyfriend has decided to cheat on me, so now I'm all alone with a ticket to Glasto. Should I still go? I'd like to meet new people but I'm quite shy!

You have probably overcome your first step on the road to going alone by asking the question.

You would probably have a whale of a time on your own and if you don't go you won't know?

You will meet loads of amazing people, both in the camping grounds and around the site.

Get yourself along to the efests meet up on Wed night and that would be a great way to meet some new people.

[Sachet88]

I've been stressing the past couple of days thinking 'oh my god, I can't do this alone' and 'all that money wasted!' But if I don't try I'll never know!

[Glastosmile15]

I've never done a festival before and my boyfriend has decided to cheat on me, so now I'm all alone with a ticket to Glasto. Should I still go? I'd like to meet new people but I'm quite shy!

Yes!! There is a thread here somewhere for people going solo.

[Funkyfairy!]

I've been stressing the past couple of days thinking 'oh my god, I can't do this alone' and 'all that money wasted!' But if I don't try I'll never know!

If you really hate it and want to get out of there, and you've had a nights sleep to mull over your decision you can always leave. You're not in Outer Mongolia. Are you driving yourself? If not make sure you know when the trains are/where the buses leave from and hey if you don't try it you will never know.

Have a great time x

[reflekting]

There are plenty of meets on Wednesday and Thursday. There are the efests ones and then there is a twitter one as well. I've been to the twitter one a few times and its full of great people who will get you drunk on vodka. Never a bad thing.

[Staff_Sav]

Pay to have a bin printed saying "xxxx is a cheat, I'm better off without him"

[milly16]

I'm in the same boat too,exactly what my ex has done. So i'm going it alone but working it.

I was in 2 minds but you must do it.It will get you away from everything and into another world.

Go and have a fantastic time.

[frostypaw]

You've made the right decision, but give him the fuck off properly. Rip that ticket up - i've had the horror of going with an ex just after finding out they cheated and I cannot begin to tell you how destructive it was for me to be so unhappy and crushed in the place I associated with my happiest times and surrounded by so many happy people who were lovely when I broke down crying all over the shop

Go as entirely your own free bird into a wide new world... Find some folk from here to camp with and ask the awkward drugs/fights/mess/sex questions rather than get stuck with a group you find alarming as normal means a lot of things to 180000 people

Get that right, read the first timers faq and go chatty and open and well... My first was a year after a horrible break up and changed my life, totally brightened my outlook and still here twelve years later

Come to the meet, you'll find all the friendly faces lol

[Newtoit]

Go!

You've had the confidence to change jobs.

You obviously really want to go and now you've made contact with plenty of people on here.

Someone made a point earlier about 'would you be comfortable going into a pub alone' - personally I think Glastonbury is far less daunting than that. The whole place is more relaxed, people are are far more open and approachable.

Basically - go.

You may look back in years to come and see this first solo venture as a turning point - the start of a new, solo travelling, more confident, adventurous you.

Hope you have a great time (& you can always go home early if you wanted to)!

[shoptildrop]

Basically when I said to him on the weekend about going he played the 'oh my heads all over the place' card, even though he caused it?! So I've text him telling him I'm going and its up to him if he comes, my tents got 2 rooms...but I'd be better off without him I think!

Good for you for going but I would say don't camp with him let he camp somewhere else otherwise he'll just be reminding you on what's happened and possibly try to spoil your fun if it looks like you are having a good time without him...

I went to Leeds festival on my own, managed to talk to randoms there (even though was a lot older than most the crowd lol) so think you'll be okay at glastonbury, top tips

Join that solo camp

Come to the efest meet

Use the lock ups

Don't worry if you feel it's a bit much and want to go home (hopefully this won't happen but just in case, don't worry about it)

as with anywhere try and keep your wits about you

and totally have a bloody fantastic time :girldance:

Edited June 2, 2015 by shoptildrop

[DeanoL]

To assure a total stranger, with a history of anxiety, that going alone to a huge music festival straight after a break-up is just dreadful advice. Look up the 'first timer mistakes' thread on here for a more nuanced description of what it may be like.

I'm not discouraging you from going, but treat it like any other social function. If you're not sure you'd cope that well at a pub on your own, then do your homework and make sure you've got definite arrangements to meet people rather than hoping that a forum 'meet' will work out - there are plenty of stories on here of people being too late, not finding them or bottling it.

I totally get that but... If you're not the right sort of person, it is totally hard to start talking to strangers. Sure. And even going to a meet up can be daunting. Many years ago I ended up going on my own, intended to go to the efests meet, didn't as I bottled it. Didn't really talk to anyone the entire five days. Still had a great time.

Especially if you've never been before, there's so much to do, so much to see- it's just like visiting anywhere on your own- you won't be bored. Just engage with stuff, try stuff, spend an hour in the circus tent watching random stuff, explore. You will fill your days. It's a different experience to going in a group, you might get lonely occasionally, but that's okay.

And y'know what. We are now in a world of 24/7 connectivity and mobile phones. As much as some people hate it, if it all gets a bit too much, it is totally okay to just go back to your tent for an hour or so, chill out, check Facebook on your phone, message a few friends. Hell, read a book. Take a big battery pack thing to keep your phone charged and accept that it's okay to do that. Don't think you have to be out 'having fun' 24/7 just because other people are. Don't let people tell you that you're doing it wrong.

It's not like going to the pub on your own, it's like going on holiday on your own. And when you do that, you go out and experience things but also sometimes retreat to the comfort of a hotel room for some time for yourself.

If you can go out and make friends, that's great. But if you're not sure you can, you can still enjoy the festival a lot. You just have to accept that you might be experiencing it in a different way to other people and that's totally fine.

[cornish hick]

You wont regret going, you'll have a blast, a drink, a groove, a party, prob a cry in a quiet moment, you'll listen to musc you'd not normally listen to, dance to some balkan ska band / electro dj at 3am. But you'll leave with great memories lots of new friends and will see the pics of you and them on facebook (other social media is available) and will be desperate to be back next year to see your festi mates again

And the twat of an ex will be so annoyed that you went when he sees/hears about what a great time you had.

[Mark E. Spliff]

I totally get that but... If you're not the right sort of person, it is totally hard to start talking to strangers. Sure. And even going to a meet up can be daunting. Many years ago I ended up going on my own, intended to go to the efests meet, didn't as I bottled it. Didn't really talk to anyone the entire five days. Still had a great time.

Especially if you've never been before, there's so much to do, so much to see- it's just like visiting anywhere on your own- you won't be bored. Just engage with stuff, try stuff, spend an hour in the circus tent watching random stuff, explore. You will fill your days. It's a different experience to going in a group, you might get lonely occasionally, but that's okay.

And y'know what. We are now in a world of 24/7 connectivity and mobile phones. As much as some people hate it, if it all gets a bit too much, it is totally okay to just go back to your tent for an hour or so, chill out, check Facebook on your phone, message a few friends. Hell, read a book. Take a big battery pack thing to keep your phone charged and accept that it's okay to do that. Don't think you have to be out 'having fun' 24/7 just because other people are. Don't let people tell you that you're doing it wrong.

It's not like going to the pub on your own, it's like going on holiday on your own. And when you do that, you go out and experience things but also sometimes retreat to the comfort of a hotel room for some time for yourself.

If you can go out and make friends, that's great. But if you're not sure you can, you can still enjoy the festival a lot. You just have to accept that you might be experiencing it in a different way to other people and that's totally fine.

Agree with everything you've said DeanoL. I've been there when I was a youngster: went to a festival alone - didn't really have a ball, although it was in a different country and my limited lingo meant it was always going to be a bit of a challenge.

I wouldn't want to discourage people from going alone, I just worry that people go into it with unrealistic expectations of non-stop partying and making new lifelong friends every time you high-five a stranger in a novelty hat. Your description above is more realistic, and as with anything else in life: go into it not expecting a lot, and any more than that is a bonus.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Mark E. Spliff

[Keithy]

Definitely still go!

If you're shy about talking to people, just smile at people or make eye contact. People will chat to you.

[Woffy]

Ha ha whats wrong with Dads wearing converse - have they got an age limit on them ?

My daughter bought me a pair of converse for Christmas!

And thank fuck Couchy's pulled; I thought I was gonna be mentoring him all weekend.

[DeanoL]

Agree with everything you've said DeanoL. I've been there when I was a youngster: went to a festival alone - didn't really have a ball, although it was in a different country and my limited lingo meant it was always going to be a bit of a challenge.

I wouldn't want to discourage people from going alone, I just worry that people go into it with unrealistic expectations of non-stop partying and making new lifelong friends every time you high-five a stranger in a novelty hat. Your description above is more realistic, and as with anything else in life: go into it not expecting a lot, and any more than that is a bonus.

Totally. I probably wouldn't do it for any festival other than Glastonbury either. Standing about waiting for bands all day on your own would be pretty bleak. It's the fact that Glastonbury essentially offers you a whole city to explore (in relative safety too, you don't have to worry about ending up the 'bad' part of town) really makes the difference.

[H.M.V]

I seriously recommend you go. I suffer really badly from anxiety and panic attacks, so much so I was off work for months and unable to drive.

Beta blockers worked a treat to get me back on my feet and don't have to take them anymore.

I went on my own last year and got involved with the solo camping group and it was the best decision I ever made.

Will be camping with the same group again this year and have made some brilliant friends.

You won't regret it for one second.

Come to the efests meet and you can pm me if you want.

[Valka]

Glad you are Going - Totally get what you mean about the anxiety of going alone, first time i did Glasto solo was by accident, but decided to just 'jump in the deep end of life' and give it a go. I gave myself the safety excuse of having the car and so could leave if it got too much ... needless to say i didn't leave early. By yourself you can do so much that you wouldn't have been able to do if you were still with your dirtbag boyfriend (i spent 4 hours carving a plate out of a block of wood).

The only mistake i made that first solo time was not talking to many people (let the nerves get the better of me and am still rubbish at starting conversations) So last year i decided to put myself with people, joined up with that years solo camp made great friends i am staying with this year, and went to places where people are just spending time rather than just watching a show (for me the phone charge tent and the sauna worked well) This way you are never alone.

The confidence you will get from doing this will stay with you, i have travelled abroad a couple of times by myself since this first step, each time you push yourself it gets easier - You WILL have an amazing time.

[monkey1989]

go for it ! Don't let that spoil the awesomeness of Glasto .

My friend split up with his girlfriend and they have coach tickets so the coach will be the first time they see each other in months :/

[foundacure]

Go! I've always gone with friends/boyfriends but have spent time both night and day on my own and really enjoyed it and never felt scared. I'm fairly shy but loved the fact you can wander and feel free from everyday life. If it gets too much you can always head back to your tent for a bit of your own space. Enjoy, you'll do great

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

It's the fact that Glastonbury essentially offers you a whole city to explore (in relative safety too, you don't have to worry about ending up the 'bad' part of town) really makes the difference.

This pretty much explains it all.