18 replies to this topic

[eFestivals]

According to Attila's latest newsletter....

Quote

24-26 Glastonbury Festival (Fri 1.50 and Sun 3.20 in the Cabaret Marquee, Sat 4.30pm in Poetry and Words, Sat 6pm on the Tripod Stage, Sat 10.15pm at the same time as Coldplay (‘The Coldplay Alternative’) on the Spirit of 71 stage...that’ll be fun!

Go check him out.

[timespeedsup]

He was in cracking, if at times poignant, form at Bearded Theory.

& I think the Cabaret Marquee is just down from the Avalon Stage? Nip in there between the Hobos and 3DM on the Friday then.  

[austingz]

eFestivals, on 14 June 2011 - 07:24 AM, said:

According to Attila's latest newsletter....



Go check him out.

I've been to one of his shows (not at Glasto) and he was excellent. Shame he only got a "crowd" of 15. Deserves much better.

[timespeedsup]

austingz, on 14 June 2011 - 11:28 AM, said:

I've been to one of his shows (not at Glasto) and he was excellent. Shame he only got a "crowd" of 15. Deserves much better.

15?? Were you watching him at The Duck's Nuts?  

[markeee]

was he at glasto in 07? seem to remember seeing him

[eFestivals]

markeee, on 15 June 2011 - 12:21 AM, said:

was he at glasto in 07? seem to remember seeing him

probably - he's been at Glasto for just about every fest of the last 20+ years. He's a bit of a Glastonbury institution.

[timespeedsup]

Efest photos of him from 2007 right here: Efest photos  

He's got boots on. Mud must have arrived....

Edited by timespeedsup, 15 June 2011 - 10:04 PM.

[markeee]

timespeedsup, on 15 June 2011 - 10:04 PM, said:

Efest photos of him from 2007 right here: Efest photos  

He's got boots on. Mud must have arrived....

hoorah so it was him i saw

[austingz]

timespeedsup, on 14 June 2011 - 10:09 PM, said:

15?? Were you watching him at The Duck's Nuts?  

No, a small theatre in St Albans. There were actually 17 people there but that included Mrs Attila and one of the theatre staff. I don't think they have repeated the "poetry week" since.

[G1T]

He was utterly ruined when I saw him in the cabaret tent last year, eyes like sheep fannies, bent double and randomly abusing the crowd, like how a comedian deals with hecklers, only without the hecklers.

I really enjoyed it, oddly enough.

[abdoujaparov]

timespeedsup, on 14 June 2011 - 08:08 AM, said:

He was in cracking, if at times poignant, form at Bearded Theory.

he made me cry

[timespeedsup]

G1T, on 16 June 2011 - 10:50 AM, said:

He was utterly ruined when I saw him in the cabaret tent last year, eyes like sheep fannies, bent double and randomly abusing the crowd, like how a comedian deals with hecklers, only without the hecklers.

I really enjoyed it, oddly enough.

That an evening event? Saw him about 5pm the Saturday last year, sat around in some small tent with odd interlocking-style flooring. Something about Bighton FC fans to the tune of '19' IIRR. Was nicely beered and it was hilarious stuff.

[Chazeboy]

He's a legend. I was honored he helped do the footy for us last year

[eFestivals]

Chazeboy, on 16 June 2011 - 06:02 PM, said:

He's a legend. I was honored he helped do the footy for us last year

yep, he's a very lovely man. Attila for President

Quote

THE ZEN STALINIST MANIFESTO

Playing golf or being otherwise dull
with malice aforethought
watching TV for more than ten hours a week
discussing soap operas
(or any TV programmes or adverts
in the case of a stand-up comedian on stage)
and becoming obsessed with the work of
Quentin Tarantino
Damien Hirst
or William Burroughs
will become a criminal offence
punishable by five years' enforced participation
in a non-stop mime
juggling
and face painting workshop
in Slough.

The Berlin Wall will be rebuilt -
only five metres higher.
It will keep people out.
People like the World Bank
the International Monetary Fund
La Roux
Price Waterhouse
Vladimir Putin
Goldman Sachs
Jeffrey Archer
Boris Johnson
Peter Mandelson
and Morrissey.

Garry Bushell and Richard Littlejohn
will suffer immediate retrospective abortion.

In order to combat the increasing danger
to civilised society
posed by pig-ignorant
misogynistic
right-wing
testosterone-poisoned
road rage specialists
theme gulags will be introduced
for anyone who drives a van with scratches down the side
and shouts at or otherwise intimidates
lone women drivers at roundabouts
or buys shares in industries
which belonged to him in the first place.

These gulags will all be situated on Rockall
and will have three themes:
Saturday night in August on the Costa Del Sol
auction day at the used car emporium on Shoreham seafront
and happy hour in a Harlow theme pub.
All themes will run 24 hours a day
365 days a year
and inmates will be able to nominate their chosen
theme on arrival.
No theme changing will be allowed
hut Clash albums
chess sets
and copies of 'The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists'
will be available for rehabilitation purposes.

Tight security will be enforced.
Theme gulags will be surrounded by large, deep moats
filled with soya milk and real ale
guarded by pitbullfrogs
and kept under constant surveillance
by hundreds of high court judges
watching from carefully constructed ivory towers.

Tony Blair will finally be recognised
as the traitorous, warmongering Judas he is
and made to spend the rest of his days
cleaning out the toilets
at the Glastonbury Festival.
With his tongue.

Every Western government leader
and the entire staff of the United Nations
will be forced to walk naked
through the burnt-out towns
and mass graves
in what used to be the Socialist Federation of Yugoslavia
and then have the words
'Marshall Tito was right'
tattooed on their foreheads.

A Zen Stalinist National Curriculum
will be introduced into schools.
Albanian
- both dialects, Gheg and Tosk -
will become compulsory as a foreign language.
Reading Geoffrey Archer
and supporting Crystal Palace
will become not just highly illegal
but indicative of a disturbed mental state
requiring instant frontal lobotomy.

The Alarm will reform.
All school students will have to attend morning assembly
and sing the new National Anthem:
'68 Guns' by The Alarm.
Mike Peters of The Alarm
will become the new Welsh football manager
with David Icke as his assistant.

The Royal Family
will be allowed to remain as figureheads
but will have to join The Alarm.
Billy Bragg will become next in line to the throne
and rhythm guitarist in The Alarm.
All game show hosts
all TV cooks
all comedians who do adverts for undrinkable piss
and everyone who works for the Sun
and the Times Literary Supplement
will be shot.
Their executions will be videoed
an acid house soundtrack will be added
and huge week-long parties
known as 'graves'
will begin.

Ken Livingstone and his pet newt Dennis
will become Prime Minister
and Chancellor of the Exchequer.
All privatised industries will be renationalised
without compensation
and a huge TV and poster campaign will be launched
saying simply
'Tell Sid tough shit.'
The Queen will be privatised
and promoted to lead singer of The Alarm.
The first Zen Stalinist Five Year Plan
will be published
declaring world peace and social surrealism
and the dark nightmare of monetarist madness
will finally come to an end.
For ever.

[sid life crisis]

eFestivals, on 17 June 2011 - 07:41 AM, said:

yep, he's a very lovely man. Attila for President

brilliant attila, go and see him, signed in babies handwriting sid life crisis from punks not dad

[chestwig]

I've just embarked on a new career in Stockbroking... What does this guy actual do?

[eFestivals]

chestwig, on 17 June 2011 - 08:23 AM, said:

I've just embarked on a new career in Stockbroking... What does this guy actual do?

he's a poet.

He was a stockbroker for about 2 weeks, back in the 80s.

[naughtyrabbit]

I think everyone cried when they saw him at Bearded Theory this year... was a truly emotional experience

[austingz]

He's out of date - The Alarm do still exist!