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Joke of the Day


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#1 jeffie

jeffie

    Am I calm? I'm f**king ZEN!

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Posted 02 February 2011 - 02:30 PM

Prince Charles is visiting an Edinburgh hospital.  He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.

The patient replies:

"Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm."

Charles is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient.  The patient responds:

"Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the Prince moves on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:

"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timrous beasty,
O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickering brattle."

Now seriously troubled, Charles turns to the accompanying doctor and asks "Is this a psychiatric ward?"



"No," replies the doctor, "this is the Serious Burns Unit."

#2 Chesh

Chesh

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 10:29 AM

My Son was asleep at a party so I thought it would be hilarious to shave off his eyebrows and draw a big cock on his forehead.
Unfortunately, my wife failed to see the humoour when she picked him up for his feed.




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