singles thread

[Katster]

It was many years ago and I think they were fashionable at the time, or at least I thought so! We're all allowed to have fashion mistakes - there quite good fun really because it's actually enjoyable looking back and thinking about what a prat you must have looked like.

When I was 16 I had a tangerine coloured crop top which I wore with tangerine coloured hipsters and I thought I was the complete dogs bollocks.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

When I was 16 I had a tangerine coloured crop top which I wore with tangerine coloured hipsters and I thought I was the complete dogs bollocks.

I know what you mean. I used to have a pair of trousers which were nicknamed Bowie bags (after the Legend himself wore similar) in which I could do no wrong. I had (in my own mind) reached a level of sartorial elegance never achieved before by man. The fact that numerous thousands up and down the country were wearing the same trousers was neither here nor there. Quite, quite delusional.

[brighteyes]

Pretty goth girls in corsets. f**king hot?

[Lithium05]

*sigh* Well, it doesn't look like I'm sleeping tonight (not in a good way). The reason is relevant to this thread, I can't say anymore due to the fact I've got a sneaking suspicion that the person who's left me feeling rather shitty is not unlikely to browse this site. More on this when I've grown a pair of balls.

[jump]

*sigh* Well, it doesn't look like I'm sleeping tonight (not in a good way). The reason is relevant to this thread, I can't say anymore due to the fact I've got a sneaking suspicion that the person who's left me feeling rather shitty is not unlikely to browse this site. More on this when I've grown a pair of balls.

I wouldn't consider 5am night time, the 1st trains have already started running and dawn is not too far away.

[nightcrawler13]

found out girlfriend has been having an affair for the last 6 weeks this morning

currently trying to pack up all my stuff, though i broke my elbow, wrist and knee on saturday so it's not the easiest of tasks...

i know it will get easier, but right now it doesn't feel that way

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I feel for you nightcrawler13. Had the same thing happen to me on a number of occasions from the same woman. I kept on taking her back and then she'd do it all over again with someone else. In the end she (fortunately) ran off with someone. I thought I'd never get over it but I have. You will too. Unfortunately it will take time. Good luck.

[greenfairy43]

found out girlfriend has been having an affair for the last 6 weeks this morning

currently trying to pack up all my stuff, though i broke my elbow, wrist and knee on saturday so it's not the easiest of tasks...

i know it will get easier, but right now it doesn't feel that way

Ah man, not good. Not good at all.

Look after yourself x

[Purple Monkey]

found out girlfriend has been having an affair for the last 6 weeks this morning

currently trying to pack up all my stuff, though i broke my elbow, wrist and knee on saturday so it's not the easiest of tasks...

i know it will get easier, but right now it doesn't feel that way

Shit dude, sorry to hear that. A girl I was seeing for a couple of weeks decided she didn't want to start anything serious with me because her cheating ex came crawling back and she wanted to go back to him. That made all sorts of sense. I wasn't really into her that much, thought she was a bit of an airhead and all over the place, but once again I found myself in the position where an utter c**t has taken the brain of a girl I kinda liked and thrown it straight into a blender causing her to not only behave like some sort of erratic malfunctioning cyborg, but also pine for the bastard that f**ked with her wiring, like some Stockholm Syndrome Joseph Fritzl bullshit. This time though I just felt numb, almost bored, it meant nothing, at best it was mildly amusing.

It's all messed up, and while it's easy to say "you get used to it"......you do get used to it. One day you'll look back on relationships and flings like it wasn't you in them, your memories will be from the perspective of an imposter version of yourself, doing and accepting things no longer a part of your character; you'll have changed and moved on, and look back on it like you remember being drunk doing something dumb at a party and think: "Ha, that was stupid!" and nothing more, wiser for it, or at the very least armoured from it. Time will fix you.

Edited September 6, 2011 by Purple Monkey

[Katster]

found out girlfriend has been having an affair for the last 6 weeks this morning

currently trying to pack up all my stuff, though i broke my elbow, wrist and knee on saturday so it's not the easiest of tasks...

i know it will get easier, but right now it doesn't feel that way

I have text you, get in touch if you need me. I know we haven't seen much of each-other for too long but that doesn't mean you can't still call on me for help when you need it. There's a bed here if you want it, even if you just want out of the house at nights while you are sorting out moving out. Take care x

[Snufflebutt]

found out girlfriend has been having an affair for the last 6 weeks this morning

currently trying to pack up all my stuff, though i broke my elbow, wrist and knee on saturday so it's not the easiest of tasks...

i know it will get easier, but right now it doesn't feel that way

People that have affairs make me so angry. Feel for you mate.

[jump]

found out girlfriend has been having an affair for the last 6 weeks this morning

currently trying to pack up all my stuff, though i broke my elbow, wrist and knee on saturday so it's not the easiest of tasks...

i know it will get easier, but right now it doesn't feel that way

Ouch, that sucks dude. If I was you I would start getting creatively even with her and if you have any naughty pics of her put them up on the internet, add her email address to loads of shitty mailing lists etc as I find allowing yourself to be pissed off with her is quicker and healthier than being the bigger person and asking yourself why.

*edit* I only liked your post because I saw someone -1 it on the old forum layout and not because I liked what happened.

Edited September 8, 2011 by jump

[jump]

.

Edited March 4, 2014 by jump

[Katster]

Advice welcomed please. We've been texting since and she's been hinting at being bisexual, always complementing on me looks, changing her mind about going out when she finds out I'm not going blah, blah, blah but everytime I try to talk to her about it she skirts the issue hard. I would be fine waiting for her if she is coming to terms with being bi, liking guys or whatever as she's very cool and even then would like to be friends if it doesn't go that way but I've started seeing someone now (very early days and not sure it'll even go anywhere) and I'm not sure how it'll go down with her.

See how it goes with the girl you have started seeing and if it starts to get serious let the very confused bi/not bi other girl know that you are no longer interested. She will probably pick up on something anyway, if you do as you should be doing and turn all your attentions to the girl you are now seeing.

[Katster]

Is it just me or are men really inconsiderate and selfish a hell of a lot of the time?

[Snufflebutt]

Is it just me or are men really inconsiderate and selfish a hell of a lot of the time?

Hmm, as has been mentioned before, this isn't a 'man' thing, but an 'inconsiderate and selfish person' thing. Women can be just as bad.

Going out with a girl, first time I've been out with someone for years. Feels amazing. Really like her, dunno why anyone would prefer being single. Though it is very early days.

[Katster]

Hmm, as has been mentioned before, this isn't a 'man' thing, but an 'inconsiderate and selfish person' thing. Women can be just as bad.

Going out with a girl, first time I've been out with someone for years. Feels amazing. Really like her, dunno why anyone would prefer being single. Though it is very early days.

Aye, I guess.

I didn't prefer being single but it certainly has it's plus points. Swings and roundabouts innit but of course being with someone and it bein perfect is the best scenario

[feral chile]

Is it just me or are men really inconsiderate and selfish a hell of a lot of the time?

They're not brought up to compromise in the way girls are. Girls are brought up to put others first, boys are brought up to put themselves first.

(huge generalisation there, I've been fortunate enough to meet 2 males who are extremely sensitive, considerate, and sensitive to others, and I also have 3 sons, who hopefully display the same traits, and I hope I've done my bit to break the cycle. )

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

That is a huge generalisation. I'm a bloke and I would consider myself and all of my male friends considerate. I wouldn't want to know them if it were otherwise. That said, we can all, male and female, be a bit selfish at times. That's probably down to feeling unhappy or some other negative trait kicking in at that moment or prior to it - in my opinion. Not every bloke is an alpha male concerned with satiating their own desires above all else - some of us are complete spanners instead. By which I mean we're just crap at things. I personally am glad I'm this way and consider it a blessing.

[Purple Monkey]

That is a huge generalisation. I'm a bloke and I would consider myself and all of my male friends considerate. I wouldn't want to know them if it were otherwise. That said, we can all, male and female, be a bit selfish at times. That's probably down to feeling unhappy or some other negative trait kicking in at that moment or prior to it - in my opinion. Not every bloke is an alpha male concerned with satiating their own desires above all else - some of us are complete spanners instead. By which I mean we're just crap at things. I personally am glad I'm this way and consider it a blessing.

This.

I don't think women fully appreciate the problems guys face, in exactly the same way guys can't fully appreciate the pressures of being a woman.

Women generally seem oblivious to how difficult it is to actually be a good, intelligent man. All of my male friends are what you would call hopeless romantics - they are good people, looking for a soul mate, just one. However the structure of society seems to be at odds constantly with it. It's generally always the man that has to make the first move and the 'competition' is often brutal. For nice guys - this setup, this order of things, is a depressing nightmare. This past six months I have observed my closest 'good guy' friends stuck in a never ending cycle of rejection and being treated like shit. Meanwhile a Spanish friend of a friend who isn't interested in any relationship and who, in his own words 'just wants to fuck all the womens' gets laid practically every night. He has a tenth of the personality, consideration, heart and emotional maturity of my less fortunate friends - he is simply very, very good looking. This isnt an isolated case either - this is happening all the time. When I hear that women generally say they value a sense of humour above everything else - sorry I have to call bullshit. Maybe some women do, sure, but by and large good men are treated like dirt by women just as much as good women are treated like dirt by men. But I think that's just another indictment of what is a rather sick, perverse society.

Women can be dicks, men can be dicks, in equal measure.

In our society, nice people finish last.

[jump]

This.

I don't think women fully appreciate the problems guys face, in exactly the same way guys can't fully appreciate the pressures of being a woman.

Women generally seem oblivious to how difficult it is to actually be a good, intelligent man. All of my male friends are what you would call hopeless romantics - they are good people, looking for a soul mate, just one. However the structure of society seems to be at odds constantly with it. It's generally always the man that has to make the first move and the 'competition' is often brutal. For nice guys - this setup, this order of things, is a depressing nightmare. This past six months I have observed my closest 'good guy' friends stuck in a never ending cycle of rejection and being treated like shit. Meanwhile a Spanish friend of a friend who isn't interested in any relationship and who, in his own words 'just wants to fuck all the womens' gets laid practically every night. He has a tenth of the personality, consideration, heart and emotional maturity of my less fortunate friends - he is simply very, very good looking. This isnt an isolated case either - this is happening all the time. When I hear that women generally say they value a sense of humour above everything else - sorry I have to call bullshit. Maybe some women do, sure, but by and large good men are treated like dirt by women just as much as good women are treated like dirt by men. But I think that's just another indictment of what is a rather sick, perverse society.

Women can be dicks, men can be dicks, in equal measure.

In our society, nice people finish last.

I never understood this, I was talking to a "feminist" and she does nothing but bitch and moan about being single and I said to her why doesn't she take it into her own hands and ask a guy out, to which she said she would never want a guy who can't ask her and would never make the 1st move out to which I pointed out all the guys that have asked her out she didn't want and at the very least it'd be a good experience for her since she's a writer, I then got a rant and she then announced she was giving up on love.

[Katster]

They're not brought up to compromise in the way girls are. Girls are brought up to put others first, boys are brought up to put themselves first.

(huge generalisation there, I've been fortunate enough to meet 2 males who are extremely sensitive, considerate, and sensitive to others, and I also have 3 sons, who hopefully display the same traits, and I hope I've done my bit to break the cycle. )

If I have a son, ever, then I will endeavour to break that stupid cycle also.

[Katster]

This.

I don't think women fully appreciate the problems guys face, in exactly the same way guys can't fully appreciate the pressures of being a woman.

Women generally seem oblivious to how difficult it is to actually be a good, intelligent man. All of my male friends are what you would call hopeless romantics - they are good people, looking for a soul mate, just one. However the structure of society seems to be at odds constantly with it. It's generally always the man that has to make the first move and the 'competition' is often brutal. For nice guys - this setup, this order of things, is a depressing nightmare. This past six months I have observed

my closest 'good guy' friends stuck in a never ending cycle of rejection and being treated like shit. Meanwhile a Spanish friend of a friend who isn't interested in any relationship and who, in his own words 'just wants to fuck all the womens' gets laid practically every night. He has a tenth of the personality, consideration, heart and emotional maturity of my less fortunate friends - he is simply very, very good looking. This isnt an

isolated case either - this is happening all the time. When I hear that women generally say they value a sense of humour above everything else - sorry I have to call bullshit. Maybe some women do, sure, but by and large good men are treated like dirt by women just as much as good women are treated like dirt by men. But I think that's just another indictment of what is a rather sick, perverse society.

Women can be dicks, men can be dicks, in equal measure.

In our society, nice people finish last.

He is a nice guy, but will seemingly never understand that when he is away I worry about him if I don't hear from him for a few days and that it really doesn't take much thought to send just one text as he is going to bed. He could even lie and I wouldn't know any different, but at least I would know he was ok. Blah, oh well, he is home now, safe and sound.

[Katster]

I never understood this, I was talking to a "feminist" and she does nothing but bitch and moan about being single and I said to her why doesn't she take it into her own hands and ask a guy out, to which she said she would never want a guy who can't ask her and would never make the 1st move out to which I pointed out all the guys that have asked her out she didn't want and at the very least it'd be a good experience for her since she's a writer, I then got a rant and she then announced she was giving up on love.

I appreciate that the pressure of always being the one who has to do the asking must be crap. I was quite forward in my single days and would ask guys out. I could never ask the guys I REALLY fancied though. I turned into a stupid giggling girl around them.

[Snufflebutt]

They're not brought up to compromise in the way girls are. Girls are brought up to put others first, boys are brought up to put themselves first.

(huge generalisation there, I've been fortunate enough to meet 2 males who are extremely sensitive, considerate, and sensitive to others, and I also have 3 sons, who hopefully display the same traits, and I hope I've done my bit to break the cycle. )

There is a massive amount of truth in this. In fact, the socialisation of genders has a lot to answer for in my opinion. Whilst men and women have probably been no more equal than now, certain expectations are placed on how each gender should behave. Everyone was laughing about that couple bringing up their child as having no gender but they have a point, to a certain extent. My only problem with doing such a thing is that ideas about gender are so, so entrenched that it will become too difficult for them to bring their child up in the way they want - which could become confusing.