71 replies to this topic

[malfy]

Sometimes we have to get out of our heads to come to our senses  (and dosent have to be drugs or drink either) - Glasto is the perfect place

Edited by malfy, 17 May 2010 - 10:42 PM.

[Spindles]

It doesn't get any better, on May 17 2010, 11:08 AM, said:

Give me strength!

Men are from Mars, women from Venus.  We are not genetically designed to spend endless hours considering the minutiae of interpersonal relationships

And if we did you women wouldn't like us anyway!!

I may sound a bit neanderthal but seeking to satisfy a women's desire for attention/consideration is a fool's errand.  Nothing is ever enough and it's not what they really want anyway

Better to be yourself and enjoy life - that will make you better company and keep the woman in your life happy

Just to reiterate:  I'm one of those thoughtful, nice, witty, bright blokes women tell us you want.  I'm single, have been for some years, women are NOT interested in the slightest and always end up throwing themselves at my mates who they know are liars, cheat on their missus and use everyone for what they can get out of them.

I hear so often about what women SAY they want in a man.  What I SEE is something else entirely.

[musiclove123]

FiestyOne, on May 16 2010, 10:54 PM, said:

Thanks for your advice everyone

I suppose I was really looking for something that would make him think hey this is the girl I met and fell in love with but I guess thats probably not the best idea!

We didnt split up over one major thing, just like i said his inability to cope with me when I was stressed and the fact i did take things out on him I think it would be easier to cope with this if it was something major like one of us had cheated but it just kind of ended on one argument that built on from the rest.

I've been looking into going to counselling for my own self because theres a lot of issues going on in my head and I know its important to sort myself out before anything else.

Moneys a bit of a touchy subject as iv stupidly booked a holiday 2 weeks after Glasto (not with him but with 3 mates) so struggling as it is to get money together for that!

I've said to myself now that if things dont get better after Glastonbury then I need to accept that maybe its just not meant to be (hurts even thinking about it!) but im not the sort of person to just let things slide which is why I need this one last ditch attempt  

If the guy really cares about you he will support you through your counselling not 'run a mile' as somebody just said. Either that or you could go through that journey of self discovery yourself and find ways to cope better/change your outlook on the stresses of life. Sounds like your ex was struggling to cope with your issues so maybe he just needs a breather for now whilst you try and get some help for yourself. Good for you by the way for going getting some help!   Never an easy thing to do. Maybe just try to chill out at Glastonbury and reflect on what you have learnt about yourself

Edited by musiclove123, 17 May 2010 - 11:54 AM.

[4AssedMonkey]

It doesn't get any better, on May 17 2010, 11:08 AM, said:

Give me strength!

Men are from Mars, women from Venus.  We are not genetically designed to spend endless hours considering the minutiae of interpersonal relationships

And if we did you women wouldn't like us anyway!!

I may sound a bit neanderthal but seeking to satisfy a women's desire for attention/consideration is a fool's errand.  Nothing is ever enough and it's not what they really want anyway

Better to be yourself and enjoy life - that will make you better company and keep the woman in your life happy

This is - unfortunately - very true.  

Reminds me of a Birthday Card I once got the wife.

"How to make a woman's Birthday:
- Buy a nice card with a heartfelt verse
- Write a poem in it
- Buy expensive chocolates
- Cook a nice candle lit meal
- Do the washing up whilst she watches her favourite soap
- Rub her shoulders
- Give her a foot massage
- Run her a bubble bath
- Promise her a shopping spree
- Don't pester her for sex, but give her a nice goodnight kiss.

How to make a man's Birthday:
- Turn up naked
- Bring beer."

I'm quite lucky in that Claire does realise this and doesn't have to high expectations.  I buy her flowers, choccys etc. now and again on the spur of the moment and make sure I tell her I love her every day and I think she's happy with that.  On the flip side, I'm very undemanding and do my bit round the house and with the family etc.  Think we've got a good understanding after getting on for 9 years!

Edited by 4AssedMonkey, 17 May 2010 - 12:16 PM.

[SteveTLizard]

Spindles, on May 17 2010, 11:52 AM, said:

Just to reiterate:  I'm one of those thoughtful, nice, witty, bright blokes women tell us you want.  I'm single, have been for some years, women are NOT interested in the slightest and always end up throwing themselves at my mates who they know are liars, cheat on their missus and use everyone for what they can get out of them.

I hear so often about what women SAY they want in a man.  What I SEE is something else entirely.

....... what he said, nicely put.

[HuggyHare]

Go to Glasto. Have a great time (like that's hard!) Tell him to do the same.
Forget your home baggage, don't think about the relationship. Treat him like a friend, a good friend. Don't judge him. Love him for who he is. Love YOURSELF for who you are. Be confident in yourself and if you do get back together, all well and good. If you don't, still be a friend. It hurts to start with but hold your head up, don't worry, you will be great with or without him as a "partner". How do I know? Because you ARE great!

You're great,

You're beautiful

You're the FiestyOne!!

[redmosquito]

Spindles, on May 17 2010, 11:52 AM, said:

Just to reiterate:  I'm one of those thoughtful, nice, witty, bright blokes women tell us you want.  I'm single, have been for some years, women are NOT interested in the slightest and always end up throwing themselves at my mates who they know are liars, cheat on their missus and use everyone for what they can get out of them.

I hear so often about what women SAY they want in a man.  What I SEE is something else entirely.

You might be thoughtful, nice, witty and bright but are you ginger? That might explain it!

[stuartbert two hats]

redmosquito, on May 17 2010, 05:21 PM, said:

You might be thoughtful, nice, witty and bright but are you ginger? That might explain it!

Wrong thread  

Back on topic, my perspective as a man would be to just chill.  You've identified that being stressed is the thing that he likes the least in you.  The answer is simply to try and relax as much as possible and whatever you do, don't start telling him off in a stressed girlfriend kinda way.  Unless he's being a dick, of course.

Seriously, if you want to do something special - not being stressed will be that special thing.  

Hope it all goes well

[FiestyOne]

Thanks guys

I think the general consensus is to try and forget all my troubles for the week, relax and not put any pressure on him...any tips for relaxation :/ I could start with a pint of brothers i guess

[Ray Sheep]

It doesn't get any better, on May 17 2010, 11:08 AM, said:

Give me strength!

Men are from Mars, women from Venus.  We are not genetically designed to spend endless hours considering the minutiae of interpersonal relationships

And if we did you women wouldn't like us anyway!!

I may sound a bit neanderthal but seeking to satisfy a women's desire for attention/consideration is a fool's errand.  Nothing is ever enough and it's not what they really want anyway

Better to be yourself and enjoy life - that will make you better company and keep the woman in your life happy

Partly agree with that but err, I don't think a little consideration is asking too much! I am a woman & I am much happier when I have a partner who can be considerate occasionally, than with someone who only cares about what they want & enjoying themself all the time, potentially at the expense of my feelings.

"We are not genetically designed to spend endless hours considering the minutiae of interpersonal relationships" - that's kinda taking what I said out of context there really.

Edited by Ray Sheep, 17 May 2010 - 07:53 PM.

[Ray Sheep]

Spindles, on May 17 2010, 11:52 AM, said:

Just to reiterate:  I'm one of those thoughtful, nice, witty, bright blokes women tell us you want.  I'm single, have been for some years, women are NOT interested in the slightest and always end up throwing themselves at my mates who they know are liars, cheat on their missus and use everyone for what they can get out of them.

I hear so often about what women SAY they want in a man.  What I SEE is something else entirely.

Not all women are like that. I have never thrown myself at a liar / cheat etc. & I pay more than my fair share of costs in my current relationship - & always have done.

If you hang around in clubs where it's all about looks / image, then you're more likely to find that kind of woman. I don't think every woman at Glasto is like that at all.

Maybe women just think you're a bit up your own arse, if you go around describing yourself as witty & bright?

[musiclove123]

Ray Sheep, on May 17 2010, 08:51 PM, said:

Not all women are like that. I have never thrown myself at a liar / cheat etc. & I pay more than my fair share of costs in my current relationship - & always have done.

If you hang around in clubs where it's all about looks / image, then you're more likely to find that kind of woman. I don't think every woman at Glasto is like that at all.

Maybe women just think you're a bit up your own arse, if you go around describing yourself as witty & bright?

I also don't throw myself at liars and cheats. I think you are generalising women abit mate

Edited by musiclove123, 17 May 2010 - 09:03 PM.