53 replies to this topic

[Okky]

in '08 I think I opened a portaloo door after fatboy slim and there was a perfect pyramid of shit towering from the seat, whoever last took a dump must have had some help from a friend to stay up so high! Anyway, at the top of this tower of shit someone had stuck a silver sparkely fairy wand What was so funny was that in this disgusting, stinking, really f**king vile rectangle box there was something so clean and beautiful perched in the middle.

f**king brilliant it was

[jeffie]

My advice, try to get yourself into a routine.

One poo a day at a trusted long drop - camp site ones - bit of Vick up your nose if you don't like the smell.  Have a fag if you smoke!!

Keeps you going - trust me

J

[mikeb]

UEF, on Jan 4 2010, 01:23 PM, said:

You'll have an infinitely better Glasto if you urinal/shepee what you can and black bag the rest. Trust me.

Hmmmmmmmm, if you mean what I think you mean then that's just plain nasty in anything other than dire emergencies IMHO    Fair enough if you wake up in the middle of the night with an unexpected, unannounced and most unwelcome case of the squits and can only just about get outta your sleeping bag before it's too late never mind trek across the campsite but surely not otherwise. Never had any thought for the poor b*ggers who have to handle all the refuse on site ? as I presume that the chances of you storing black bags various in your tent and then taking them home with you are about as close to zero as it's possible to get ! Black bagged or otherwise, still unpleasant and unhygienic in the extreme anywhere other than the correct place.  Not cool Vast numbers of toilets are provided on site for good reason - please use them.

Re: lighting up before doing the deed - I always do that !  although thoughts of methane and potential spontaneous combustion are always lurking in the back of the mind Anyways, probably illegal now aint it ? Smoking in public enclosed places and/or places of work and all that ... tut.tut.tut

Edited by mikeb, 04 January 2010 - 02:38 PM.

[clockworkpurple]

LusciousLucy, on Jan 3 2010, 01:33 AM, said:

Brown hand shaped stains on the walls are also a particularly nasty thing to come across too. Again WHYYYYYYY? Actually...dont bother trying to figure that one out...Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

That's mud though, right? RIGHT??!



Being a veteran of cider ruining your insides i can say the most important thing is Immodium (or a cheap supermarket own brand alternative). Cherish it, love it, take it regularly and it will save you from the Ring of Fire.

[jeffie]

mikeb, on Jan 4 2010, 02:35 PM, said:

Hmmmmmmmm, if you mean what I think you mean then that's just plain nasty in anything other than dire emergencies IMHO Fair enough if you wake up in the middle of the night with an unexpected, unannounced and most unwelcome case of the squits and can only just about get outta your sleeping bag before it's too late never mind trek across the campsite but surely not otherwise. Never had any thought for the poor b*ggers who have to handle all the refuse on site ? as I presume that the chances of you storing black bags various in your tent and then taking them home with you are about as close to zero as it's possible to get ! Black bagged or otherwise, still unpleasant and unhygienic in the extreme anywhere other than the correct place. Not cool Vast numbers of toilets are provided on site for good reason - please use them.

Re: lighting up before doing the deed - I always do that ! although thoughts of methane and potential spontaneous combustion are always lurking in the back of the mind Anyways, probably illegal now aint it ? Smoking in public places and/or places of work and all that ... tut.tut.tut

I'm sure you are right about smoking.  4 walls and a roof on a lot of the long drops, must be illegal - especially if it's a spliff

I have pondered the methane effect too, an explosion doesn't bear thinking about......

[jeffie]

Forgot to mention - EGGS - one a day for breakfast - keeps you well bound...

[FunkyDenz]

Okky, on Jan 4 2010, 01:51 PM, said:

in '08 I think I opened a portaloo door after fatboy slim and there was a perfect pyramid of shit towering from the seat, whoever last took a dump must have had some help from a friend to stay up so high! Anyway, at the top of this tower of shit someone had stuck a silver sparkely fairy wand What was so funny was that in this disgusting, stinking, really f**king vile rectangle box there was something so clean and beautiful perched in the middle.

f**king brilliant it was

Fatboy Slim had shat on the seat?

[rexclark]

FunkyDenz, on Jan 4 2010, 04:08 PM, said:

Fatboy Slim had shat on the seat?

[LusciousLucy]

FunkyDenz, on Jan 4 2010, 04:08 PM, said:

Fatboy Slim had shat on the seat?

I'm not the only one who misread that one then!

[4AssedMonkey]

UEF, on Jan 4 2010, 01:23 PM, said:

You'll have an infinitely better Glasto if you urinal/shepee what you can and black bag the rest. Trust me.

Nasty, nasty, nasty.  Please think of the poor litter patrols/bin emptiers and use a friggin toilet for Cliff's sake!

[redmosquito]

BlackHole2006, on Jan 2 2010, 09:49 PM, said:

To tell you the truth mate. Who needs shitting?

When I was at Glasto I didn't take a shit once whilst I was there. And when I needed to go I held it in until the urge passed away. I shouldn't really be telling you this, but you can use it on me for future purposes if I do something naughty.

The best advice out there is: Don't go for a shit at Glasto. Hold it till you get home. You won't regret it. I never have done. The only other time I havn't been for a shit all weekend was on a school trip to normandy when the bog wouldn't flush properly. But I manned it and didn't take a crap all weekend. Cause I'm a man.

If I did that I wouldn't be able to walk by the Saturday, the first year I went I took a sh*t load of diarrhia pills from Wednesday through to Sunday to block me up. I then didn't poop until Tuesday and I thought I was going to explode. This year I just let nature take its course and really it was fine, the longdrops don't smell too bad, especially in the morning and if they do just breath through your mouth. By the Sunday I was quite enjoying my morning ritual of having a poop whilst reading the Q daily and having a little smoke, plus there is something liberating about plopping in the open air.

[Hazmat]

Just breathe through your mouth and don't look down   ...

Edited by Hazmat, 07 January 2010 - 06:16 PM.

[Kyelo]

geztival_09, on Jan 3 2010, 02:18 AM, said:

I've heard about the So unless you fancy giving birth out of your arse then I think it's worth braving the toilets  

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry that made me laugh!

Personally I need to be enclosed to sh*t or piss(when drunk can piss anywhere haha), so long drops are a no go for me. I just go back to my campsite toilets when the bigger acts are starting so about 5ish and the portaloos have normally been cleaned and it's quiet so you get to pick the best one! That's how I get my no.2s done

Edited by BenchBuddah, 07 January 2010 - 06:35 PM.

[Bradders]

Alcatraz, on Jan 3 2010, 01:30 AM, said:

I have to ask....did it hurt when you finally did go?

Yes