237 replies to this topic

[Phil-itfc]

I was walking past the pryamid and this couple were having a conversation walking the other way the girl said to her fella,

'he's on this gay porn site called speedo boys'

[sammysundae]

these are great. but i can usually add way more to them. i must not have been drunk enough

[Glitter+Vodka]

sammysundae, on Jun 30 2009, 07:25 PM, said:

these are great. but i can usually add way more to them. i must not have been drunk enough

my problem is that I was too drunk and cant remember all the stuff i pissed myself at!

[Neeeeeedles]

2 things i found truly hilarious

1) A fella dressed as jesus was trying to get through the crowds down at the bottom of Pennards Hill, he coughed loudly so everyone could hear and did the moses action where parted the waves but as if to part the crowd. They parted and as he walked through the middle he said '2000 years and i still got it'

2) Naked fella walking along the muddy road where the cars and that come and leads you to trash city etc. Yeah walking along and stops in front of a truck full of people so they come to a halt and says ' Stop! Naked Police'

Never laughed so hard in my life for either of them moments

[BlackHole2006]

"Glastonbury isn't as good as it used to be"

[Laura_Babs]

Donnababycatcher, on Jun 30 2009, 07:02 PM, said:

me and my daughter walking through crowd with 6ft inflatable penis when a girl about 9 asked her parents what it was, they pretended not to hear her and carried on talking she asked again and they said it was a balloon oh she said I thought it was a cock....

I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself  

[Mishy]

Walking back to the tent late on saturday night, a woman said to one of the campsite crew "I can't find my tent" ......"It's near a big tree"

We were laughing so hard for about 10 minutes, then realised she was walking behind us and felt really bad.

I hope she found her tent.

[Crackfox]

A little off his tits kevin and perry lookalike comes sprinting up to me while i'm waiting to use a portaloo. Taps me on the shoulder and looks like his world has fallen in, "mate, have you heard the news. Michael Barrymore's dead". I'd have pissed myself laughing if i didn't need a dump as well.

[liverlou]

On Thursday evening:

Girl 1: Oh my god Michael Jackson is dead!

Girl 2: Oh well, at least it's not Lilly Allen...

[Joshuwarr]

Did anyone see the guy who fell over at the Brothers Bar on Thursday (I think)? He became really agressive pushing this girl with him about and throwing stuff. It looked like he was about to cry and wasnt getting up. Wasnt funny but I just remembered it :/

[hendoflex]

Two for me were:


1) During Madness "Wings of a Dove", my friend said to my girlfriend, "How does a Dove fly?", my gf replied "Doves don't fly." My friend burst out laughing saying "they did," to which my gf replied, "Oh yeah. I was thinking of pigeons."

2) During Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, the same friend said to my gf, "The drummer looks like Geoff Bilbog." Gf asked, "Who's Geoff Bilbog? Are you thinking of Bob Geldof?"



You can't make that up.

[VCK]

Before Springsteen, I can't remember what they were talking about but some pissed up guy went in his mate's face and said "I'll be fuming! Fuming be I'll! Be I'll fuming!"

[Dricambo]

During our 'pool party' in Dairy Ground my friends were sat naked in the pool and were just asking people walking past if they want to join in in the pool party... to which some guy replied 'If I see it I'll touch it'

That had us all laughing for the rest of the weekend

[Funkfarley]

As Tom Jones comes on....one midle aged woman turns to her middle aged friend and says..

"I cant wait for him to do Amarillo"

I swear, a bit of wee came out.

Never mind eh love!

[Rufus Gwertigan]

I over heard 2 things on the security channel.

a. "This is Gate ... We have a man here with a Crew Ticket and a used wristband in an envelope that he has just paid 140 quid for. er, is he allowed in"

b. "This is ..... we have 3 men that have been trying to get on site and have just reported to our position to be evicted. They look tired"

Edited by Rufus Gwertigan, 30 June 2009 - 09:11 PM.

[lieutenant_pigeon]

we were coming out of the rabbit hole to the time machine and this guy obviously came in through the bar and was obviously not knowing where he was most probably thinking he was coming out the same tunnel got up looked around and bluntly went "where the F*** am I"

[chuckley]

jimmyk83, on Jun 30 2009, 02:10 PM, said:

In Bloc Party on friday a lass came struggling out of the crowd in front of me and asked a chap next to me, "has a guy with wellies on come this way?"

"yeah sure, just over there"

*dies laughing*  bet she was dead serious aswell.

[Nyika]

I'm really not sure why "distant kasabian" seemed so funny at the time...

Oh and "get a tent"

[kokoku]

Overheard while our neighbours were trying to light campfire :

'shish... Ray Mears would have raped a bear by now....'

[mr_smiss]

Crackfox, on Jun 30 2009, 08:35 PM, said:

A little off his tits kevin and perry lookalike comes sprinting up to me while i'm waiting to use a portaloo. Taps me on the shoulder and looks like his world has fallen in, "mate, have you heard the news. Michael Barrymore's dead". I'd have pissed myself laughing if i didn't need a dump as well.

I really hope this is to do with Camp Jeffs propaganda plates. It was a bit of an in joke after coming out of a wine induced coma on Thursday night to be told MJ had died, turned into Barrymore and for the rest of the weekend we were spreading the gospel. Amazing if true.