Mark E. Spliff

Thanks - good to get a definite answer direct from the cow's mouth. I reckon there'd be enough fans to make it work but it would be a risk: unlike someone like Mik Artistik, his stuff is so deadpan that anyone who didn't already know it would probably pop their head in, think it was a serious talk about farming and move on. Many years ago, I was literally the only person watching a reasonably well-known hip hop band playing in the Greenpeace field (in the large stage they have/had in a tent, with tiered seating.) That was pretty excruciating and I wouldn't wish it on Mr Partridge.

I'm ashamed it's taken me a month to notice someone has mentioned The Beef And Dairy Network on here. (I only spotted it after I did a Google search on Benjamin Partridge.) Anyhoo... yes: a Beef and Dairy Network event at Glastonbury would be a beautiful meeting of leylines. I get the impression that Ben wouldn't be particularly enthusiastic about staying in a tent for a week, but I'm sure that if he did, there'd be a respectable amount of support including from fans of 3 bean salad, You hear a lot of bollocks about how Glastonbury has lost its edge, but it's still there if you're prepared to go looking for it. It's whilst the corporate-sponsored headliners are keeping the masses occupied that you can still escape and find the true spirit of Glastonbury - e.g. last year, my special moment was watching John Hegley in the Poetry&Words tent, and the same goes for the music: e.g. in 2017, feeling part of the legendary dub of The Scientist in The Cave, rather than being at the back of the Tik Tok crowds for Radiohead/Sheeran/Foo Fighters.

There has always been a lot of bollocks spoken about this on here. Exhibit 1: 'the water table...' This has got f**k all to do with a muddy Glastonbury - it's the level at which the ground is completely saturated which, in the UK, is typically 100 metres underground. (If the muddy puddles in 2007 etc. were the water table poking above the ground, it would have been a truly apocalyptic situation for the farm and the festival-goers, and not just the miseryfest that it was.) Exhibit 2: 'the drainage.' This is just a set of localised infrastructure to get lots of water away from particular areas. If it works well, the only effect it will have is reducing the huge lakes that build up in a few specific areas. Drainage won't stop the mud, because soil will always become mud if you pour water on it and churn it up with vehicles and wellies, whether there's drainage nearby or not. It's not complicated. If the ground is still wet and slushy whilst the site is being built or the punters are on site, then it will be churned into mud. As we've seen with previous muddy Glastonburys, it only takes two or three days of the right sort of weather (sun/heat/wind/low humidity) for even the most waterlogged ground to dry out. This surface drying is a quick effect of the weather, but there's also a slower, constant drainage effect as the moisture works its way slowly down through the soil and eventually finds its way to the ground water. This drainage of the deeper soil levels has got nothing to do with plants using up the moisture, as has been suggested elsewhere on here - it's just down to gravity and the permeability of the ground. The only determinant of whether we get a muddy one is how wet the ground is in a very short window leading up to the ground being disturbed by vehicles and wellies. If, as you're wondering, we continue with the levels of rain we've had for the rest of the year right up to the start of the festival, then it will be very muddy indeed. However, it's more likely that as we move into summer, the rainfall levels will reduce sharply. There is always the possibility that we get unlucky, e.g. a spell of heavy rain in the week before/during the festival, in which case we'll have a mudbath. You need to check the forecasts mid June to decide whether to worry about that though. Edit: The British Geological Survey website shows that, from the nearest wells to the festival site, the water table is between 30 and 60 metres deep in the area.

A pretty depressing thread all round, but the positive I'm taking from it is that at least @clarketeshowed some balls. It's surprising how few will do the right thing in the face of a sniggering clique, desperate to impress internet strangers by joining in the newbie abuse.

I've had a few experiences of the sort that people often put in the 'paranormal' category. One was an object falling off a shelf, that really shouldn't have. The others were a few instances of thinking about a particular person for no apparent reason, and subsequently discovering they had died at that time. However, I don't believe in the paranormal. The object-falling-off-shelf would have simply been a normal physical effect in the environment, which I (to this day) was simply unaware of. Me failing to notice something is far more probable than any paranormal explanation. If I were to put the thinking-about-the-dying instances down to the paranormal, that would just be me succumbing to 'confirmation bias.' We all think about people in our lives thousands of times per day and it's statistically likely that, very occasionally, this will coincide with that person dying or being involved in an accident etc. When it happens, this has massive shock value, however we never remember the many millions of times we think of someone who doesn't happen to die. I, too, listed to 'Uncanny' as well as 'The Battersea Poltergeist. I absolutely despised both of them as I see them as dishonest clickbait - his 'seeing both sides' of the story is a con: he doesn't believe this stuff any more than I do. People love to watch stuff about ghosts and the paranormal, but we've already got all the explanations we need for the weird stuff that goes on. In some anecdotal cases, like my object-falling-off-shelf example, we might not know the full explanation for what happened, but we always know that it's immeasurably more likely that it was down to a non-supernatural explanation, than the laws of physics stopped working. Whenever claims of the paranormal are put to a rigorous test, they always fail. It's a bit dated, but if you look at 'James Randi' on YouTube, you'll see him absolutely destroying charlatans like Uri Geller, by applying a mixture of his ex-magician insider knowledge and a bit of scientific rigor. I do think there are things of wonder in the universe - e.g. I don't think humanity will ever figure out the 'subjectivity' aspect of consciousness - how can you connect a bunch of atoms together in such a way that they become aware? And there are fundamental aspects of cosmology and physics which will probably never be cracked by science - infinite universe? multiverse? etc. But the 'supernatural' stuff which will inevitably make Danny Robins his fortune, is a load of nonsense and he knows it.

Whilst I'm just as dubious about the idea of exclusive away-from-the-oiks glamping experiences, I'm really not a fan of this guy's take on it. He's doing something which you see in the right wing press and echo-chambers a lot: i.e. conflating the entitled twattish behaviour of one part of the Glastonbury-going demographic with the genuine concern for the environment/social justice/etc. of a very different part of that demographic. When you pretend it's all one group, you can then start pronouncing judgement on them all as being hypocritical, entitled, virtue signallers. It's a great way to pull the rug out from people who're actually trying to make some small contribution to the world, and it's well-understood and weaponised by the right: think about how our tabloids invite us to sneer at the hypocrisy of these green lefties each year by showing photos of the campsite wreckage left behind by scumbags who, in reality, have never claimed any green credentials and see festivals as any other coked-up night out.

This is the second time this week you've flagged this up, so I'll respond, however I think my austere forum presence over the years means there's only a very small group of my nemeses who'd be at all interested - I've never been a forum 'character.' My 'Toxic Avenger' sock-puppet account got blown by Neil years ago on its very first outing as I didn't bother trying to hide IP addresses or block/delete cookies etc. He called me out publicly but, unusually, didn't delete either of my accounts, which was a reflection on Stu - the bloke I'd set it up to annoy. This did also leave the 'Toxic Avenger' available to later annoy a certain 'km9' after he swooped in with a 'downvote the lefty' move, without actually commenting on whatever political handbag battle was being waged. But in the spirit of apologising for old forum crimes: sorry. Prior to the forum removing user rep 'badge of shame' from users' posts, downvoting could be a reliable source of fun: without fail, the users who gave out downvotes would also be the ones who'd be nailing themselves to crosses if someone dared give them one. Halcyon days.

I won't give you the full list, but one thing that would be nice would be clueless cowards not jumping onto every passing tabloid-supported bandwagon to win a forum popularity contest at the expense of genuine progressive politics:

I feel a bit guilty now. Stevie spends his entire life on this forum, and here's me setting him challenges that require him to prolong his isolation from humanity trying to come back with a pithy one-liner, regardless of whether it makes any sense or is consistent with any stance he's taken previously. So have this one on me Stevie:

Thanks for the reminder - that's a great example of you throwing around insinuations of anti-Semitism in order to brown-nose Neil. For those that don't remember, here's what was said, verbatim:

One of the unintended consequences of your permanent 'sat in front of efests instead of living a life' status is that you're capable of doing a complete one-eighty on an issue without actually realising you've done it. A couple of years ago, you were auditioning to be be Neil's goon by accusing lifelong socialists of being anti-Semites, whilst sneering at anyone who questioned this ludicrous tabloid narrative. Now that Neil's not worth sucking up to, and the Labour anti-Semitism witch-hunt has quietly fizzled out, you've suddenly become a new man. It's heartening to learn that you were actually dubious about the ridiculous anti-Semitism scandal all along. However, you might want to check whether Neil still has the necessary forum access privileges to edit/delete your contributions on this topic from a couple of years ago...

Cassetteboy v. DJ Rubbish on Sunday at The Glade. Every Glastonbury, by Sunday morning, the late nights etc. have well and truly caught up with me, but I know it's the last day so feel duty-bound to get out and make up for a week's worth of time wasted at the tent recovering from hangovers and hiding from the heat etc. So you spend the morning wandering around trying to live your best life when, being honest, you'd rather be slumped in front of YouTube. But every year, I get to The Glade feeling like there must be something wrong with me, and every year Cassetteboy manage to articulate my cynicism and despair at the idiocy of humanity for an hour, whilst somehow weaving all the horror into an upbeat comic group-hug. Every year, I arrive feeling alienated from the world, and leave feeling absolute love for a crowd of people who detest all the same bullshit that I do.

Every Monday I do the same thing: load my car and then head back onto site to collect tents etc. whilst listening to Worthy FM on earphones. I've been doing this since 2005 and never heard them giving out any useful info. on what's going on in the car parks. I'm in no rush to get away, but I know it's best to be off site by 6pm as that's when the traders are allowed to drive off the site, which creates an extra wave of traffic. So I'm just after some indication that the worst of the traffic has gone, but Worthy FM has never given me any help with this, and I've instead relied on messages from mates who've already left or chatting to stewards. Presumably because the Worthy FM crew are mainly volunteers, they'll all have had a big Sunday night and just want to get their shifts done on Monday, so setting up a line of communication with the car park stewards or with the punters via WhatsApp is probably an extra job which nobody can be arsed to do at that stage of the festival. In the past, I've mentioned it to them via social media, but if anyone's got any contacts who work for them, it wouldn't hurt to flag this up.

We got back to our van in Orange 32 around 3pm, but we'd been getting reports from friends who'd been stuck getting out for hours. So we didn't even think about joining the queue - we just loaded the van up and then set up a tarp shade and chairs, and started making food and having a sleep etc. All this while we could see the bloke who'd got to his car at the same time as us sitting in the same place in the 'queue' at the far end of the field. We did a few trips back onto site to look for abandoned tents etc (nowhere near as many to choose from as previous years, which is good) and by the time we could see traffic moving on the routes, it was nearly 6pm. We then drove straight out with no hold-ups. The people that had joined the queue will have got away a bit quicker than us, but I just don't think that's worth sitting in a hot car for more than 3 hours, and words fail me for the surprising amount of prats that kept their engines running... Unless there's a very good reason, never join a queue at Glastonbury. It would be nice if Worthy FM actually broadcast useful info. about traffic from Sunday night onwards - they could either ask punters to WhatsApp them with updates, or ask the car park stewards to provide official updates. But every year, they're completely useless on this front, despite it being the one time during the festival when a high percentage of punters are likely to be tuned in to them and in need of info. Edit: apologies: can't shine much light on what may have caused the hold-up, although I did have a look at the Google Maps traffic layer, and that was showing two traffic incidents on the A361 close to the festival in both East and West directions - but this could have just been indicating the usual festival one-ways/no-right-turns/traffic jams. And after people have been sat in their car for over an hour, I expect the same abandoned vehicles problem may arise as happens when motorways are at a standstill for hours in heavy snow or after accidents.

Yep, this year was the first showing for The Hive and it did seem to be stuck out on a random corner on a walkway. I'd been walking past it every day without even realising what it was until one evening I came past and the excellent Vlure were getting ready to perform an unannounced set on there. I would have actually been chuffed to watch them on there as they're an exciting live band and it would have been a golden opportunity to see them close up without having to try too hard. But I was simultaneously knackered and in need of a piss, and after an epic march to find the nearest urinals without a massive queue, I couldn't be arsed to retrace my steps.

All is not lost. The 'no plastics' rule only applies to traders - it's a sensible policy to stop people buying a plastic bottle of water or coke, drinking it and lobbing it in the bin. The only rule for punters' bottles is no glass, so you can bring whatever plastic bottles you want to refill on site. (You occasionally hear concerns raised about carcinogens leaching into the liquid if you reuse 'single-use' plastic bottles - that's bollocks according to Cancer UK and is probably a myth put about by companies trying to flog posh plastic bottles.)

As always, thanks to Barry for acting as an illustration for the type of nutter that an anti-testing sentiment is a flag for... Barry was too busy frothing at the mouth to actually read what I'd written. No Barry, I haven't taken a COVID test since Glastonbury, hence I wasn't acting on a test result, either positive or negative. (Although, from my exposure/infection history I'm 99.99% certain that my current 'dodgy' feeling is the usual post-Glastonbury mixture of chronic sleep deprivation and post-alcohol effects.) I only let these ex-colleagues know I'd possibly been exposed as a courtesy - same reasoning for why I'd always turn away and cover my face if I sneeze, and avoid coughing in people's faces, regardless of whether I think I've got the lurgy. Or to rephrase the above in audience-appropriate language: my mum brought me up right - yours didn't.

Just the discussion about testing on here has already helped two people earlier today. I've been feeling a bit dodgy since I got back, and was meeting two ex-colleagues earlier, one of whom has had his lungs massively damaged by COVID and the other went down with severe pneumonia (not COVID-related) last month and was in a critical condition for over a week. I warned them that there was a possibility I could be positive, and they were very grateful for the heads-up and we agreed to sit outside and stay a long distance apart. I'm one of the lucky ones who's never knowingly had COVID despite regular exposures to it, and regular testing because of my job. The point of measures like testing is to help make sure the vulnerable don't catch it from you. I haven't been testing since the policy at my work changed, but I've got no problem with anyone doing so and I've been interested reading on here about other people's post-Glastonbury testing results. I agree with what you no doubt believe, i.e. no matter what care I show towards these two ex-colleagues, they'll probably catch it somehow regardless if they want to live a normal life. But testing doesn't hurt anyone, gives the infected the heads-up if they want to try and avoid spreading it and gives the vulnerable a heads-up in case they want to give the COVID positive a wide berth. Being 'against' other people's personal decision to take a test is the truly bizarre position - one of those little 'potential nutter' markers.

The beauty of the antisemitism allegation was that the gobshites who were determined to shout about how outraged they were couldn't give a damn about whether there was any truth in what they were obediently repeating. This video has been posted on here many times, but the gobshites will always ignore it a a an inconvenience getting in the way of their faux outrage :

Or you can get it through the various streaming radio websites, like TuneIn: https://tunein.com/radio/Worthy-FM-877-s125909/

I didn't know either until they mentioned it yesterday on Worthy FM but he died recently: either March or May I think. I hadn't realised he'd been involved for 30 years either, so he was even more of a legend than I already thought. I used to love those occasions when the kit f**ked up and he couldn't get a track to play so he'd just sack it off and sing a Bob Marley tune start to finish.

I always used to do a little critique of Jimbarkanoodle's trolling posts under his various user names, and offer a bit of sarcastic advice on how to make them more believable. But as the years go by and people continue to bite, I'm starting to come round to his side - if people really aren't capable of recognising obvious trolling, even after it's already been flagged up, then you might as well just sit back and enjoy the drama, just as 'Jim' will be. It's an embarrassingly low standard of trolling, but that really doesn't matter if it's still hitting targets.

If you haven't been given a crew/performer pass in advance, you won't be able to park early or go to the crew/performer car park (which is to the West of the site in Orange.). It's pot luck as to which car park you get directed into, although if you know which side of the site you will be working on (i.e. East or West), you'll improve your chances of you plan your route so you'll be arriving at that side of the site. For Gate C you'd want to be arriving at the East side of the site. Yes, you can park your camper in the car parks but you're not officially allowed to sleep in it. I do know some people who get away with it, but you'd need to be stealthy...

Loving the update - I stopped watching the Glastocam thread weeks ago as I didn't want to get 'bored' of the site before I'd even arrived, but these little glimpses are just perfect for me. As to where this one was filmed, I'm hopeless at this sort of thing, but I'm going to guess that the trees behind your head are ones lining the Railway. So you're somewhere where the ground slopes away from the Railway - the entrance to The Other field? (Before the grass gets trampled away.)

That's weird. I was using silver black-out tents 20 years ago, and recommending them as the perfect festival tent on here - many years before Fresh&Black existed. I'm now in the Fresh&Black gang as they're much easier to get hold of than the Australian ones I was originally using I own quite a few retina-burning lights for diving, but I leave them at home and take weedy ones to festivals as they're more than bright enough. But if you just want very bright illumination all-round, then the most effective approach is to put a 'diffuser' over the lens of any high powered LED torch (the sort you see cheap on eBay etc often described as 'cree' or 'XML' and with a claimed output of over 1000 lumens. You make the diffuser yourself by finding a clear plastic bottle of similar diameter to the torch (eg shampoo or conditioner) and jamming it over the end. This will be cheaper, brighter and more compact than any purpose-made camping lantern. I can't think of a worse start to the day though - letting the first daylight in to my Fresh&Black tent is always a painful start to the morning...