Yoghurt on a Stick

I have pissed myself twice as a fully grown adult. Both 'happenings' occurred when I was almost press ganged into driving around an OAP lady speed dealer. On both occasions I was, for a variety of reasons, unable to leave the car..

Unfortunately i couldn't enact that plan as I had no idea that it was going to happen. I can't do violence anyway. it makes me want to throw up when I'm in its presence.

I thought that it might be an unwise thing to do. Then again he's an absolute monster for drugs, so looking after himself isn't exactly a priority. I have another mate who can do Glastonbury without having a sh*t, or taking Imodium. He has his last dump in a motorway service station (he can time such things) on the way down to the festival (from Birmingham) and then releases the 'Mother Load' in another service station on the way back to Birmingham.

Like Reservoir Dogs, but with sh*t instead of blood, I should imagine.

Thanks for the added information. I don't mind as it's for charity anyway. That said, I only bought the bar to get two people off efests a Glasto ticket, so may have to leave my chocolate purchases there for the moment.

My next door neighbour's ex boyfriend (a true psychopathic) once came into my house as my wife was next door seeing his girlfriend for a chat.Anyway, this deranged man came into my house and started talking about 'how us men should stick together'. I responded with the line 'I'm not a man'. You should have seen his face when I said that. Obviously I am indeed a male of the species, but I don't consider myself a 'man'. Well, not a man like him. About a month later, he ended up lifting his girlfriend (our neighbour who owns the house next door) up off the floor by her throat. Her kids came screaming and crying into us at our house. And then I was given no option other than to rush out of the front door and confront this angry martial art black belt bloke. I did manage to do that. I diverted his anger and he let her go. Then he started on me. To cut a long story short I came out of it quite well, considering. Only a few bruises and he knocked one of my teeth out. Now, if he's considered a man, I want no part of being a man.

I once went from the Wednesday to the Sunday evening without eating. I never even drank water. it was purely alcohol and drugs. By the time Sunday evening came along I was in a terrible psychological state. It is not an action that I would advise people to take. In fact, far from it. I now realise the importance of eating at a festival, as well as taking liquids other than alcohol on board.

I've just come back from a trip into town. While there the Oxfam shop caught my eye, and I thought it must be fate. So, I went in and bought a bar. I had no idea that they were £3.99 a bar. Anyway, I didn't win. Boo hoo.

I guess that's a 'load' off your mind - so to speak!

Not directly related, but I have a friend who takes Imodium just before and during the festival, so that he doesn't have to go for a crap. Probably not the wisest thing to do health wise.

Similar thing here, for less money. Not sure if the quality varies between the two; https://www.theworkplacedepot.co.uk/garden-trolley-cart?gad_source=1#vat&gclid=CjwKCAjw5v2wBhBrEiwAXDDoJYYE_hubDFNtwqphJ8-rWj7VSXRd_ZMh7pbPcUDM7Fye0ogtiJig-hoCM7oQAvD_BwE

Dear Roy, I've got this black plastic disk with a hole in the middle. Is this a record?

Have an empty one of these in a backpack (add a funnel too if you are a woman*) Fill it up with piss where you are standing (covering your parts with a spare jumper or some such), return it to your backpack, and empty in a long drop at a later date. * A funnel may not be necessary. I know this because my wife can piss into a milk bottle with no spillage.

This is not a recommendation, as I have no idea of the quality of the product. However, it 'may' do the job; https://www.temu.com/uk/outdoor-folding-bed-cushioned-folding-bed-for-office-nap-camping-beach-g-601099538357269.html?_oak_mp_inf=EJW41aOm1ogBGiBhNWM3MDUyZDY4Y2E0ODE4OWJlNzExZGFjYzJhYWZmZCDI5rK97jE%3D&top_gallery_url=https%3A%2F%2Fimg.kwcdn.com%2Fproduct%2FFancyalgo%2FVirtualModelMatting%2Fa42d55121ca9d5616879bff97bc4c12a.jpg&spec_gallery_id=4079821276&refer_page_sn=10009&refer_source=0&freesia_scene=2&_oak_freesia_scene=2&_oak_rec_ext_1=Njk2OQ&_oak_gallery_order=226934793%2C518446275%2C1328931498%2C1537097613%2C2048879146&search_key=folding bed&refer_page_el_sn=200049&refer_page_name=search_result&refer_page_id=10009_1713283823008_nh90gma06p&_x_sessn_id=jfjc28hrlp

That was nice of him to help take your mind off things at that moment in time.

This might be useful for somebody living in or near the Cradley Heath area of the West Midlands https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/1774222353062986

This from Shangri'lart ; =====================================================================================-=== Yes, this is a real invention from 1925. American inventor Hugo Gernsback created this mask, called “the Isolator,” to increase productivity. The helmet was designed to block out all noise and sensations outside of a person’s work. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That is indeed an excellent name for a Geordie act.

Could it be that people are putting their wins on social media to monetise their win by getting 'hits? I don't know much about this area (which probably shows) but know from the media that 'influencers' get their money this way. It'd be easy to slightly re-glue a wrapper and then start filming yourself re-opening the chocolate bar.

@ChemicalBrother - Just wishing you luck with this, your valiant campaign. 🙂

You could build a tall top hat out of them. Contact Crazyfool01 (The Master) for guidance on how to construct.

I do too (via Loquax). The most expensive prize I won was a high end hand made garden table which sat 10 people and was about £3.5K to buy retail. I received the table when me and my wife were right skint. I sold it within the week on ebay for £650. It less than I had hoped (I was asking £850 for it) to get, but it sure did come in handy at the time. I also entered a PG tips competition while drunk one evening. They had asked what the taste of PG Tips invoked for you. I had thought of putting in a proper entry and saying something like it tasted of nectar. However, a bit of naughtiness crept into me and what I actually wrote down was the word 'vomit'. The main prize was for a car, and the 2nd prize was a years supply of PG Tips. They gave me 2nd prize for my entry - which meant that they wanted me to vomit every day for a year. i guess they had the last laugh on that one. Mind you, I did give the years supply of vouchers to one of my brothers and a mate who were sharing a house and were also very skint at that time. Not only that, but the both of them were heavy tea drinkers - so it all panned out well in the end.

Yes, it's all very odd. You'd have thought that they would have just used the same successful format as last year - if it isn't broken, don't fix it, kind of thing. Maybe there was a cost element to making that still be a thing, and one which some budget holder had kittens thinking about.

I haven't read the whole of this thread but somewhere got the impression that last year they gave confirmation, but that doesn't seem to be the case this year. That's a sh*t show, that is. Don't they 'know'!?

I fear that the book wouldn't actually be that small at all.