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  2. Things that annoy you ?

    Are you going to be using public transport or car share/hire? Think I'd be lost without our car now.
  3. General News Discussion

    we were set up on a blind date, which changed the dynamics. and he's never imposed any gender stereotypes on me, or I on him. that's probably an exaggeration - but not the conscious childcarer/cleaning/decorating/breadwinner type of crap that still goes on. I met him when I was 16, and I was well on the way to being a jaded, heartless bitch, and using men's attitudes against them to get my own way. He was and is a sweet, caring human being, and changed my perspective. in that he taught me that not all men were the same. I was a bloody magnet for paedophiles and nutters, and psycho violent thugs. I learnt how to deal with the threat very young. I've stated before what the place where I grew up was like. You had to be a psycho bitch from hell, and be feared as completely without boundaries, to be anyway safe. or to be totally manipulative to get myself into and out of situations as I tried to interact in the male sphere without falling prey to sexual advances, when all I wanted to do was be accepted as part of the gang. I was learning how to manage men, but not without risk, and not in a way I'd approve of now. it was all risk assessment and risk management. I mellowed after meeting him. I'd likely be dead decades ago if I hadn't, he turned me round and allowed me to trust. or hope, at least. So yes, I understand the fear alright. I felt safe with him. And he didn't make me want to vomit. We have 4 kids, so that should tell you something. PS I was on the computer on this site, when Russy had said something that disturbed me greatly once, something about men only choose not to rape, and women being powerless, and he walked in and took one look at me, and told me the world isn't that dangerous place. it's not all, but it only takes one, doesn't it? And my old, youthful way of dealing with it by using headfucks isn't appropriate in an adult setting.
  4. Tim Peaks secret gig

    wouldn't be hard to be more popular than frank turner!!!
  5. Things that annoy you ?

    My car failing its MOT After 5 years of loyal service I'll have to take my old banger to the scrapyard tomorrow. Gonna live without my own car for a few months unless I find an incredible deal and then sort out a new one in the Spring to be comfortable with it for festival season. And hopefully I'll actually have some money by that point!
  6. Cricket

    Still a good day. And positive that scored some runs without Cook or Root. Vince has doubled his test best, can everyone else achieve that this tour
  7. Football 17/18

    Fair enough. He'd be who I'd hope for in your position.
  8. Today
  9. Tour Announcements & Upcoming Gigs

    https://m.facebook.com/pulpthefilm/ Ah shit, it's actually came from this page, which is an official one but related to the film. I can't remember if the photo they've uploaded has relevance to the film. Would be strange to upload a hint to the film page mind. Hmm.
  10. Mad Cool 2018

    He isn't from El Paso, though, he just moved there when he was young. You'd think they'd use the place he was born.
  11. Mad Cool 2018

    Maybe Khalid. He's in Europe in the summer.
  12. Queens of the Stone Age

    I didn't take many photos the other night but these two came out OK:
  13. Primavera 2018

    This Facebook page claims Gorillaz and LCD Soundsystem will headline Sonar.
  14. Victorious Festival 2018

    Took the gamble bought my tickets, £88 for 3 days can't beat it really. I think it will go up to £105 when line up is announced.
  15. General News Discussion

    True, but that's done (mostly) without anyone being aware it's happening, to give their approval/acceptance or not. Writing something into law is asking the population to endorse & support a particular set of rules, to give their explicit approval. Not only that, because it might be written in law as a right, there becomes no particular reason why trans shouldn't be known as trans, and so there will be instances where it's no longer the under-the-radar thing that it (mostly) is currently. All I'm doing there is pointing out that by changing the law other things are changed too. Things doesn't carry on in the same way as now. It's largely up to the person involved as to whether they might let others know their situation. But as i point out above, it becomes less necessary to 'hide' with stronger legal protections, and there's always some who are the loud & proud types. I think it's a reasonable assumption that more people would be aware of sharing their space with a trans with stronger legal protections for trans. Again, that's not necessarily a reason to not do it, I'm simply pointing out that not all things would remain as they are now and that needs bearing in mind along with everything else when considering what might be reasonable next steps to take with legal protections. And while you might say "well the bigots should just have to accept it", that's all very well, but steps like these need enough public support if they're to work out well and not cause a reaction that might be worse than things are now. (remember, we got to gay marriage in small steps, because the public wasn't ready to go all the way just 15 years ago). In normal circumstances. And currently it's fairly safe to assume on the basis of dress. That assumption becomes less safe if we know there's a greater acceptance for 'men' in a dress. which only shows how sensitive the issue is and what women's expectations are, surely? it must have been once, else I pity your husband then perhaps it's as much a hang-up of yours as it might be a real thing? then you won't have a problem getting female's explicit endorsement for it then, will you?
  16. Tim Peaks secret gig

    Good shout. Would also be a more popular headliner than Frank Turner.
  17. Queens of the Stone Age

    It's ok. As a venue I prefer it to Victoria Park and Hyde Park. Suffers from the same issue as most other outdoor urban venues in that the sound can be quite low. It's also a pain in the ass when they block off the nearest tube station after the show for crowd control and you have to walk a fair distance to Holloway Road or Arsenal. Of course the solution to this is to drop into some pubs en route, but as you'll be in Hornsey anyways, that ain't gonna be a problem!
  18. Tim Peaks secret gig

    True.....but look back over the years at who’s been in the diner. Im guessing James will play which makes Tim a possibility. Cant imagine you would get more than 50 folk in so I’d be amazed if it was Liam.
  19. Football 17/18

    It's happening in non-league football too.
  20. Sziget Festival 2018

    just spent the weekend in Budapest need to go back, what a city! hopefully this has a good lineup
  21. Football 17/18

    Sad but true. The money being paid to mediocre players outwith the top clubs in the EPL is bonkers. Obviously the wages are also bonkers at the top end but the other clubs shelling out money with no hope of winning anything and who’s only hope is to stay in the same league ? Happend up here when the clubs tried to compete with our big 2 and paid crazy wages. Didn’t end well.
  22. Lineup 2018

    Nah only for your meat and potatoes cack. Liam Fray's mob would draw a crowd of about 10 people if they were on the bill supporting a Radiohead-esque critically acclaimed headliner.
  23. General News Discussion

    I think it's little understood outside those involved. I don't claim to understand it. I was brought up to have career aspirations and I tended to like male gender specific toys. But this is arbitrary. girls were 'supposed' to like dolls and housewifey crap, and I was a risk taking adventurer. I wanted to hang with the boys, because they did more fun things. but males have, or had, trouble accepting females as part of the group. yet much as I felt I had lots in common with males, I never wanted to be one. so something far deeper must go on. And then when the sexuality thing raised its head (!) I'd find myself included alright, but misinterpreted. It's a real fucking pain, and I wish we could all be seen as just people, no matter what gender we are or aspire to.
  24. General News Discussion

    I'm not sure how I feel about prisons. They're clearly much different from public toilets, and I haven't reviewed the evidence, You and bunique both posted evidence of trans sex offenders. there's no reason to expect them not to be representative of the general population. the article you linked to stated there were no official stats so they had to assume the trans people in predominately sex offenders prisons were within the 98% of sex offenders incarcerated there. I read bunique's link very late last night, so need to absorb it while awake. I'm disputing the argument that the risk has increased, mainly around public loos, as I'm pretty sure that trans women use the ladies already, for their own safety. prisons and other spaces are separate issues, however.
  25. Sziget Festival 2018

    Amazing! We'll share a bucket of cocktail then Can't wait for the first names!!!
  26. General News Discussion

    Penises are already in there, we just didn't think about it. And apparently males in general are allowed in there too, though obviously it's not the done thing. So I just don't see how the risk is greater. Nothing has changed in practical terms. I was in a club once, a gay club admittedly, and the only clue that the 2 gorgeous girls in there were trans was that they stood up to pee while I was drunkenly chatting to them in the loo. if they had actually closed the cubicle door I'd never have known. I was a bit straight for them I think, so they were feeling like I invaded their safe space.
  27. General News Discussion

    They already use the ladies though. they're not going into the mens dressed as a female. We've just had our awareness raised to it. how would you tell? There are some quite masculine looking women and some very attractive trans women around. You won't know who's got a penis or who's got a vagina. I've known someone who has a vagina and was challenged for being in the ladies, because she doesn't look traditionally female. I just came out of hospital and although there were no men in the actual ward, there was one toilet per ward, so everyone dipped into each ward's toilets. I didn't feel unsafe that there were men close by, as there were only nominally different wards really. Socially, that's something else. I really don't want to undermine women's fears. for all my bravado, I see male interest as a threat, it's never flattering. I don't understand the social rules and think I've encouraged them somehow, as so far, the only thing that has given me personhood rather than being in the available zone is being overweight. Engagement, marriage, glasses, middle age - I thought these would place me in the safe zone, but no. I'm hoping now I'm past reproduction this will do it, and I did even find myself thinking that my recent surgery would hopefully put them off. I've been thinking this way since living memory, and I'm 57. I've always felt like an independent person that happens to be female, and am confounded when someone sees me through sexuality and not through a cerebral connection. I have no idea what a 'normal' reaction is, but I see trans people as at similar, if not more risk, as people born female, because of hostility and fear from both sexes, and an increased risk of rape and violence, vaginal or not. Rape is violence, these people go through hell, to be denied recognition after all they have to live through just seems wrong. and they're already in the ladies loos, they're entitled to be in there already, with or without legal recognition of their chosen gender.
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