Really REALLY trying to get myself into the mood for leeds fest this weekend, its not happening at all. First year ive ever felt like this to be honest. I think its because of a numberous of reasons. The ticket mess up ive had really pissed me off. The whole confusion on tickets this year has been a complete shambles. Also there really isnt many bands i can get excited about. Of course TSP (why when i write that do think of 'tablespoon' lmaooo) and NIN, also gogol bordello (who i saw at glasto and thought they were bloody brilliant) - but thats, like, it. Maybe ive grown out of leeds, maybe i have been spoiled by glasto this year, maybe im really aware im leaving my little baby for a few days and im gonna miss her so much, maybe im just tired. I am, im just so tired these days.

My tent/bags/wellies/touch bloody everything is still in the attic at this very moment in time and still full of glasto mud. I just dont have the energy to go up there and sort it out. lol.

i know ive got to get it sorted tomoz.

havent got transport sorted either. ffs. im usless.

i wont go into it now but the last 4 months have been amazing - ive learned so much about myself and my little family. The only really negative thing thats happened is my sister.

I went into it many blogs ago, but she cant have children. She wont see little hannah and wont have anything to do with me. simply cos i have what she wants. Shes a very bitter woman now (shes almost 40) I feel anger against her because i found out some things she said while i was pregnant, fooking evil shit. - theres only so many times you can have sympthy/understanding etc before i think whats the point - she has so much anger against me and my inocent beautiful baby . . . i dont need her. Imm totally happy with my life and thats what counts.

but it is a sad loss truely.

hmmm well going into that didnt help my mood.

plus im hearing on the local radio over and over again about an 11 year old boy who was shot dead, not that far to me.

jesus.

think ill leave it there.

promise my next blog will be an happy one - i have soooooo much to say about my hannah - shes got 2 pegs already! ohhh and shes massive - 6months clothing now. lol . (shes not even 4 months yet!) lmao.

right - see ya at leeds